He cleared his throat and straightened himself up. "I should let you get some rest. It may be that I can't live without you, for some unknown reason that's etched into fate and destiny...but I do not, in any way, have room for you in my heart. You still remain what you have always been there."
"Draco Malfoy." She called out, sitting up on the bed. "I know...that you're not telling the truth. I know that you don't hate me."
"How so? How can you presume something like that? Love is like spun-glass, it can break at any time...how can you say..."
"Every chance you have had to kill me, you haven't. You've simply let me live. You told me that if I didn't do what I was told, you would kill me and my family. My family are already dead, but I am still alive at the mercy of your hand. Even when I tried to take my own worthless life, you saved me. And even now, Draco, I mentioned nothing of love. It was you, who did that."
"Love is for the weak and fickle. Shallow men are willing to give their hearts to frivolous women, only to have them torn apart. I don't think love is part of me, nor do I wish for it to be. It's just another wretched barrier we put up against the slings and arrows of life. It's a pointless illusion...it dilutes our true perceptions of reality."
"Stop trying to fool yourself. Obsession, hate, love...what difference does it make? Live a little, Draco."
He glared at her, but somehow, his glare didn't have the same venom any more. It lacked, and seemed hollow now, almost like it was a mask he slipped on.
"Stop lecturing me, you filthy-"
"Filthy what? Huh? Go ahead, yell some stupid name at me. You save my life and then you freak out because for once you've felt another emotion apart from senseless hatred. Well let me tell you something Draco Malfoy. You aren't the ice-king you think you are. You're the Dark Lord, no denying that. But you turn away from emotion. Every time you come close to feeling anything, you pull those walls of ice up around you again and deny the very things that make you human. But those feelings are still there, whether you have a soul or not. You may turn away from me...but you can't turn away from yourself."
He had lost control of the situation. Like a dew drop that trickled off the gentle edge of a flower petal, it had simply fallen away from him. He turned. She was watching him, her eyes following his every move. Her eyes were holding something. What? Contempt? Care? Concern? Dare he even think it, love??
He left, not wanting to, yet feeling vague of everything and needing to.
He ran, almost feeling her angelic presence beside him through the stony darknesses and down the endless stairs of night. His breathing was erratic and frantic.
He felt ashamed. Dark Lord Draco Malfoy; Scared, frightened, alone, ashamed...shattered. It was like the voices of his victims had come to haunt him. He himself was spun-glass and crystal and ice and sugar. He had been shattered. Seeming perfect porcelain...flawed and tainted.He didn't want to feel anything. Being numb was all that there was. It kept him where he was, on a high pedastal away from everyone and everything. Up here in the bitter cold, he couldn't be touched. A greasy thick voice beside his ear.
"If you love something let it go..."
Draco turned and looked at the form of Severus Snape.
"And if she does not return?"
"Then she was never your's in the first place."
*
a/n: thank.u so much to every1 who has reviewed...your response has been so positive and it's so encouraging to me. It really inspires me, knowing that there are people out there like you guys that are willing to read and give such good feedback.
"Draco Malfoy." She called out, sitting up on the bed. "I know...that you're not telling the truth. I know that you don't hate me."
"How so? How can you presume something like that? Love is like spun-glass, it can break at any time...how can you say..."
"Every chance you have had to kill me, you haven't. You've simply let me live. You told me that if I didn't do what I was told, you would kill me and my family. My family are already dead, but I am still alive at the mercy of your hand. Even when I tried to take my own worthless life, you saved me. And even now, Draco, I mentioned nothing of love. It was you, who did that."
"Love is for the weak and fickle. Shallow men are willing to give their hearts to frivolous women, only to have them torn apart. I don't think love is part of me, nor do I wish for it to be. It's just another wretched barrier we put up against the slings and arrows of life. It's a pointless illusion...it dilutes our true perceptions of reality."
"Stop trying to fool yourself. Obsession, hate, love...what difference does it make? Live a little, Draco."
He glared at her, but somehow, his glare didn't have the same venom any more. It lacked, and seemed hollow now, almost like it was a mask he slipped on.
"Stop lecturing me, you filthy-"
"Filthy what? Huh? Go ahead, yell some stupid name at me. You save my life and then you freak out because for once you've felt another emotion apart from senseless hatred. Well let me tell you something Draco Malfoy. You aren't the ice-king you think you are. You're the Dark Lord, no denying that. But you turn away from emotion. Every time you come close to feeling anything, you pull those walls of ice up around you again and deny the very things that make you human. But those feelings are still there, whether you have a soul or not. You may turn away from me...but you can't turn away from yourself."
He had lost control of the situation. Like a dew drop that trickled off the gentle edge of a flower petal, it had simply fallen away from him. He turned. She was watching him, her eyes following his every move. Her eyes were holding something. What? Contempt? Care? Concern? Dare he even think it, love??
He left, not wanting to, yet feeling vague of everything and needing to.
He ran, almost feeling her angelic presence beside him through the stony darknesses and down the endless stairs of night. His breathing was erratic and frantic.
He felt ashamed. Dark Lord Draco Malfoy; Scared, frightened, alone, ashamed...shattered. It was like the voices of his victims had come to haunt him. He himself was spun-glass and crystal and ice and sugar. He had been shattered. Seeming perfect porcelain...flawed and tainted.He didn't want to feel anything. Being numb was all that there was. It kept him where he was, on a high pedastal away from everyone and everything. Up here in the bitter cold, he couldn't be touched. A greasy thick voice beside his ear.
"If you love something let it go..."
Draco turned and looked at the form of Severus Snape.
"And if she does not return?"
"Then she was never your's in the first place."
*
a/n: thank.u so much to every1 who has reviewed...your response has been so positive and it's so encouraging to me. It really inspires me, knowing that there are people out there like you guys that are willing to read and give such good feedback.
