Authors Note: I'm not trying to lie to anyone here. If you like Spike as
the helpful/helpless/hopeless tame demon, then you'll probably dislike this
fic. Spike/Buffy moments (but to be honest, S/B shippers will hate this)
also Spike/Drusilla, because that's what I personally like better :)
Disclaimer: I dont own them, they belong to Joss Whedon. However I think I might DESERVE to own them after what that cruel cruel man has done to them. Still, thats just opinion...
Soulless Monster
What the hell is wrong with me? It's later in the afternoon now. I *should* be sleeping in her damn bed, not this dank cold crypt on a bloody stone slab. What am I so sick with? Her. I've always been sick of her, especially since I started to have feelings for her. I wanted, I persisted, I got. Now if I could just be happy with it... but I can't. The object of my obsession has me in her grasp. If I escape it, she'll stake me. I wanted her so much, for so long. Risked death countless times, lost all semblance of dignity, and convinced myself that she was the one for me. When really it was just the combination of wanting a kill I couldn't have, and the feelings that were buried inside of me for someone else. Feelings are powerful things though. When Drusilla came back, I wouldn't let her kill Buffy because they way they both made me feel, made me suffer, was almost identical. And it was Drusilla's fault, for leaving me and betraying me to begin with. None of this would have happened if she hadn't gone. So I tried to get even, and even thought I could bring myself to stake her, but it didn't work. She left - Again. And I would have dearly *loved* to have killed Buffy then, I had the shotgun ready and everything, but I couldn't do it. She was the only memory of Dru I had left, because of the pain she put me through no less. I sat with her. A strange notion came to me, that I could channel my love to Drusilla through her. She died, and I thought I'd lost everything. She came back, and we grew just ever so slightly closer. Now that I've made love to her my illusions are gone. I can't love her, I can't want her in any other way than a vampire wants the Slayer. I want her blood on my lips and inside of me, but I do not want her love. This is why I have not returned to her home. I sigh again, loudly. Yes, but what else to I have? I have nothing but her. She might not be the one I love, but she's something, better than nothing. Nothing tends to get boring after a short while.
It's dark, I'm outside of her house. I don't need to be invited, so I walk straight in. She's in the kitchen with Dawn. Dawn always looks at me with this wonder, admiration, and it used to drive Buffy right round the bend. She knows we've been together. And I know that out of all of Buffy's blokes, she approves of me the most, which is strange. Then again, Sunnydale is a strange place, and Dawn's not exactly the most normal of all girls either. Besides, when you've been with Riley Finn, anyone looks like the better option.
"How are my girls tonight then?" I ask, and Buffy smiles warmly at me. That look of infatuation, which has lasted two days, and I'm already sick of it. No wonder she hated *me* so much.
"Just passing the time, helping Dawn with some homework." Buffy replied, the look not fading even a glimmer.
"Or talking about you, constantly." Dawn added. "All about how much you've changed, and how cute you are, and how she feels bad about how she had to die before she could admit-"
"Dawn!" she exclaims, sounding every inch the high school student she was when I met her. "Shut up, and go somewhere else." She pouts at the two of us. I give her a friendly smile, still having some respect for the little kid.
"Go on Niblet, give us a bit of alone time, right?" She nods and winks slyly, causing Buffy to blush.
"Gotcha." Then she's gone. I put my arm around Buffy's waist, and start kissing her mouth. Closing my eyes doesn't mean I can imagine it's somebody else though, that only works for humans. My sense of smell and taste know it's her from half a mile off. And the one I would like to think of also feels a lot different to touch. Still, I can blank my mind, enjoy this in the same way I did with Harmony, and I really don't care if she's in love with me. I'm tired of caring what she thinks.
She goes out to patrol, and I decide not to bother going back to my crypt. There's a tv downstairs and probably something on I can watch to kill the time. I spark up, and ignore the kid sneaking around upstairs. Probably going through her sister's weapons again, is my guess. That one can't wait to be a part of the gang. Then I hear footsteps outside the front door, heavy, demonic footsteps. So things are about to get interesting after all. Brilliant. I pick up an axe that's been shoved under the sofa, and open the door as soon as I hear the first knock. It's a demon I recognise so well that I damn well nearly cut his head of right there and then. A chaos demon.
"Where is she?" he sounds pathetic, lost, in love. A lot like I feel. "I know she still loves you. She ran back to you, didn't she? After all she said about it being finished between you." He looks up, and I know he's seeing the little girl at the top of the stairs.
"Dru's not here." I tell him simply, and without looking around, "Dawn, go back to sleep."
"But I..."
"Now."
"I didn't think vampires could have children in the usual sense." The demon says, confused. "Who's little girl is she?"
"She's the Slayer's." I smirk. "This is her home. Don't ask how I ended up here, it's a long story, and it involves me losing the same woman you did." He gives me a sympathetic look, and holds out an only slightly slimy hand. I shake it.
"Eritos." he introduces himself. I still hate him.
"Spike." I reply, a cordial smile on my face.
"Look, can I ask a personal question?" he asks. No, but I'm sure you will anyway. "Is this something to do with the..." he whispers "Initiative?"
"Yes!" I exclaim, shocked. He didn't look that intelligent, that's for certain.
"Oh right, well the same thing happened to a few of my friends from around here, they got computer chips in their brains and either starved or ended up helping out mortals in secret." I nod impatiently. "Basically, what I'm saying is, I know a guy who can help." Ahhh, *now* we're getting somewhere.
"Seriously?" I ask, still a little skeptical.
"Sure," he replies. "It's the least I can do, helping you stops you from killing more of my friends. Any real demon would do the same."
"Lead the way then, mate." I pull him out of the door, grabbing my coat. "I owe you one."
Disclaimer: I dont own them, they belong to Joss Whedon. However I think I might DESERVE to own them after what that cruel cruel man has done to them. Still, thats just opinion...
Soulless Monster
What the hell is wrong with me? It's later in the afternoon now. I *should* be sleeping in her damn bed, not this dank cold crypt on a bloody stone slab. What am I so sick with? Her. I've always been sick of her, especially since I started to have feelings for her. I wanted, I persisted, I got. Now if I could just be happy with it... but I can't. The object of my obsession has me in her grasp. If I escape it, she'll stake me. I wanted her so much, for so long. Risked death countless times, lost all semblance of dignity, and convinced myself that she was the one for me. When really it was just the combination of wanting a kill I couldn't have, and the feelings that were buried inside of me for someone else. Feelings are powerful things though. When Drusilla came back, I wouldn't let her kill Buffy because they way they both made me feel, made me suffer, was almost identical. And it was Drusilla's fault, for leaving me and betraying me to begin with. None of this would have happened if she hadn't gone. So I tried to get even, and even thought I could bring myself to stake her, but it didn't work. She left - Again. And I would have dearly *loved* to have killed Buffy then, I had the shotgun ready and everything, but I couldn't do it. She was the only memory of Dru I had left, because of the pain she put me through no less. I sat with her. A strange notion came to me, that I could channel my love to Drusilla through her. She died, and I thought I'd lost everything. She came back, and we grew just ever so slightly closer. Now that I've made love to her my illusions are gone. I can't love her, I can't want her in any other way than a vampire wants the Slayer. I want her blood on my lips and inside of me, but I do not want her love. This is why I have not returned to her home. I sigh again, loudly. Yes, but what else to I have? I have nothing but her. She might not be the one I love, but she's something, better than nothing. Nothing tends to get boring after a short while.
It's dark, I'm outside of her house. I don't need to be invited, so I walk straight in. She's in the kitchen with Dawn. Dawn always looks at me with this wonder, admiration, and it used to drive Buffy right round the bend. She knows we've been together. And I know that out of all of Buffy's blokes, she approves of me the most, which is strange. Then again, Sunnydale is a strange place, and Dawn's not exactly the most normal of all girls either. Besides, when you've been with Riley Finn, anyone looks like the better option.
"How are my girls tonight then?" I ask, and Buffy smiles warmly at me. That look of infatuation, which has lasted two days, and I'm already sick of it. No wonder she hated *me* so much.
"Just passing the time, helping Dawn with some homework." Buffy replied, the look not fading even a glimmer.
"Or talking about you, constantly." Dawn added. "All about how much you've changed, and how cute you are, and how she feels bad about how she had to die before she could admit-"
"Dawn!" she exclaims, sounding every inch the high school student she was when I met her. "Shut up, and go somewhere else." She pouts at the two of us. I give her a friendly smile, still having some respect for the little kid.
"Go on Niblet, give us a bit of alone time, right?" She nods and winks slyly, causing Buffy to blush.
"Gotcha." Then she's gone. I put my arm around Buffy's waist, and start kissing her mouth. Closing my eyes doesn't mean I can imagine it's somebody else though, that only works for humans. My sense of smell and taste know it's her from half a mile off. And the one I would like to think of also feels a lot different to touch. Still, I can blank my mind, enjoy this in the same way I did with Harmony, and I really don't care if she's in love with me. I'm tired of caring what she thinks.
She goes out to patrol, and I decide not to bother going back to my crypt. There's a tv downstairs and probably something on I can watch to kill the time. I spark up, and ignore the kid sneaking around upstairs. Probably going through her sister's weapons again, is my guess. That one can't wait to be a part of the gang. Then I hear footsteps outside the front door, heavy, demonic footsteps. So things are about to get interesting after all. Brilliant. I pick up an axe that's been shoved under the sofa, and open the door as soon as I hear the first knock. It's a demon I recognise so well that I damn well nearly cut his head of right there and then. A chaos demon.
"Where is she?" he sounds pathetic, lost, in love. A lot like I feel. "I know she still loves you. She ran back to you, didn't she? After all she said about it being finished between you." He looks up, and I know he's seeing the little girl at the top of the stairs.
"Dru's not here." I tell him simply, and without looking around, "Dawn, go back to sleep."
"But I..."
"Now."
"I didn't think vampires could have children in the usual sense." The demon says, confused. "Who's little girl is she?"
"She's the Slayer's." I smirk. "This is her home. Don't ask how I ended up here, it's a long story, and it involves me losing the same woman you did." He gives me a sympathetic look, and holds out an only slightly slimy hand. I shake it.
"Eritos." he introduces himself. I still hate him.
"Spike." I reply, a cordial smile on my face.
"Look, can I ask a personal question?" he asks. No, but I'm sure you will anyway. "Is this something to do with the..." he whispers "Initiative?"
"Yes!" I exclaim, shocked. He didn't look that intelligent, that's for certain.
"Oh right, well the same thing happened to a few of my friends from around here, they got computer chips in their brains and either starved or ended up helping out mortals in secret." I nod impatiently. "Basically, what I'm saying is, I know a guy who can help." Ahhh, *now* we're getting somewhere.
"Seriously?" I ask, still a little skeptical.
"Sure," he replies. "It's the least I can do, helping you stops you from killing more of my friends. Any real demon would do the same."
"Lead the way then, mate." I pull him out of the door, grabbing my coat. "I owe you one."
