Chapter 6

"It's really not gonna be that bad Alex," Selphie dragged me from

the parking lot into the garden.

"I know, but I just don't feel like I should be here, you know after

what happened and all, I know Squall and Irvine are mad at me

and I don't know why I care, but I'm all nervous and if they're there

and they don't talk to me and...." I noticed Selphie had stopped

walking.

"It's a dance not the gate of judgment," then she started laughing

'cause Selphie just cannot be serious.

"Whatever."

We walked in and no one noticed thank god, I needed somethin''

to drink.

"Hey Alex!" I turned around and saw Zell in his SeeD uniform. He

looked really funny in it cause it just is not him at all and

anyway......

"Hi Zell," I put on a smile. I think it passed considering it was a

fake, 'cause he smiled back.

"Wow! You look really nice," he looked me over.

"Thanks you don't look half bad yourself," the music was not how I

expected it. I thought it was gonna be all classical and junk cause

that's what someone told me but they actually had music from this

millennium! Yeah, 'cause 'Ride wit me' came on. I love that song.

"Come on," Zell pulled me out on the dance floor. I can't dance!

What am I supposed to do! Shake my ass?! Hey why not everyone

else is doing it. But....nah.

"Lighten up, it's a dance just um......I dunno, dance!" Zell was good

at dancing, I'm guessing he can break dance ''cause of the way he

moved

"uh.....ok" I started dancing, I don't know what I was doing but it

must have been right if Zell was smiling........unless he was

laughing. Hmmmmm anyways, just as I started getting into it a

slow song came on and I went to get a drink.

"Hmmm, spiked fruit punch, yum," I needed some alcohol. I looked

over at the punch table and Irvine was there......with

Selphie....flirting. I knew it. Stupid bastard, why did I trust you? I

knew it was to good to be true. I looked out at the stars. So many

so far away. It makes you feel so insignificant and small.

"Hey Alex, uh..um...wanna uh...dance?" I looked over at Zell and

had to smile. He looked so nervous.

"Sure.....no I mean I'd love to." He took my hand and we walked

out onto the dance floor. The song was Crazy by KC and Jojo. I

 put my arms around Zell's neck and rested my head on his

shoulder, which was kinda odd cause I had to lean over. Zell

wrapped his hands around my waist and held me close. This is it?

This is the big slow dancing? I like it. Hehe Squall didn't want to

dance but Rinoa was trying to drag him onto the dance floor, haha.

And.....is that…? oh it is.

I frowned as I watched Irvine and Selphie kiss. I think he saw me

but I looked away. The song seemed to drag on forever but it was

nice, to be in the arms of someone else. And the song stopped,

stupid short songs, and a waltzey thing came on.

"Thanks. Common let's go see Selph and them," Zell said. We

started to walk over to the drink table when...

"Hi, wanna dance?" Irvine stepped in front of me.

"No," I tried to go around him but he stopped me.

"Why not? It's fun to dance to 'Waltz to the Moon',"

"No, go away," He really knew the right time to bug me.

"What? Did I do something?" Oh jeez, how clueless can one

person get?

"Uh, yeah. I thought you liked me, then I see you flirting with

Selphie. Then I see you kissing Selphie, but other than that no,

you did nothing, like asking me to the dance instead of Zell now

excuse me, I don't want to make a scene." Bad move.

"Lets talk," he took me back out onto the dance floor. He was right,

'waltz of the moon' was fun to dance to, but not with Irvine.

"Why must you do this? I have people to talk to and drinks to

drink," he swung me out and I almost hit some girl.

"Watch it! I'm trying to dance here!" she yelled, then continued

dancing.

"Irvine let me go, I don't want to dance with a player," I broke free

of his grip and walked toward the others who conveniently were

watching.

"Oh common," he called out to me. It was funny making him look

like an idiot.

"Jeez, what's with him? Can't he take a hint?" Rinoa asked glaring

at Irvine who had instantly headed over to Selphie and was now

dancing with her.

"Whatever, can you pass me a drink?" What a jerk. Oh well, screw

him. I'll try to have fun.

"What are you doing here?" A blonde girl sneered.

"Uh, having a drink." What the hell did she want? I started to walk

away when she pushed me against the wall.

"You let Seifer get captured and you're here? While he could be

getting tortured? He might even be dead for all you know. And it's

all because of you. How can you even show up at the SeeD

dance? After what you've done. Get out, murderer," she stood

there glaring at me, waiting for me to leave.

"I......I......" I couldn't even talk, my knees were getting weak.

"You what?" she snapped. "Killed Seifer? We know, now get out

killer."" My eyes were tearing up so much that I couldn't see. I

brushed them away and started to run out of the room but when I

passed her she shoved me down.

I hit the floor hard but got up and ran. I needed to get out, again. I

couldn't stand it. I ran through the halls.

"Damn you Seifer!" I screamed when I got to my dorm. I sat

against the door and looked around the room through blurry eyes.

The first things I saw were my gunblade and switch blade. I took

the switch blade and headed for the training center as fast as I

could.

I ran barefoot through the trees because I couldn't run in my heels,

and stopped at the balcony of the secret area.

"Why, why did he have to help save me?!" I yelled out to the night

sky. No one else was there, or if they were they'd left already.

Why? Why did the mission go so wrong? Why did I have to live

and two people die?

"Tell me!" I took out the blade, so small yet so lethal. Why not just

end it all now? There's no point anymore. I..............

"I can't take this!" I gotta stop doing that or someone will hear. Ok,

I had two...no three choices maybe four. First I could cut my wrists

or throat, two, I could jump off the balcony, three I could find a t-

Rexaurs ,or four, none of the above. But lets not do four.

I took the blade and gently traced an imaginary line on my wrist.

But did I really wanna do this? Then I thought of what the bitch

said. Yeah. I sat on the ledge of the balcony and looked at my

wrist.

"When I get weak I'll fall anyway," I took the blade and made a cut

on one side and slowly started to drag it across to the other. The

blood came fast.

"Alex! No!" Squall came running out of the training center followed

by Zell.

"Go away!" They weren't going to stop me. I let myself fall back.

"Alex!" someone caught my hand.

"Let go! Now!" I screamed at Squall. Zell tried to grab my other

hand but I wouldn't let him.

"No! It wasn't your fault Seifer died!" he had a grip with both hands

but I kept struggling.

"Yes it was! If he hadn't helped save me then he'd still be alive!" I

tried to pry his fingers off of my wrist but Zell grabbed my other

hand.

"Stop, please! Let me go!" The tears poured from my eyes and I

was getting weaker and weaker with each passing minute.

"Pull her up." I couldn't struggle anymore so I just let them take me

up.

"Alex it wasn't your fault, you can't blame yourself." Squall held my

wrist tight to stop anymore blood from leaking out.

"But, he, I..........."

The infirmary. How many times is that? Three? I think so, but I was

fine all accept my wrist but I think......yeah, that was bandaged. I

had to get ready for gunblade classes.

I don't think I've ever actually checked out of this place yet,

whatever. I walked to my dorm, my new dorm, the one I had all to

myself, and changed into my baggy jeans and green tank and got

my gunblade. I was late but better late then never right?

"Never turn your back to your opponent," Squall was saying as

opened the door to the other training center.

He looked at me but kept going.

"Ok now pair up and show me what you've learned," everyone

paired up and I was without a partner. Just my luck, Squall came

over.

"I didn't think you'd come," he got in the ready stance.

"Don't go easy on me Mr. Leonheart," I made the first move and

struck down just missing him.

"How's your wrist?" he swung at my face, I blocked it inches away

from where he hit me last time.

"This is class, Mr. Leonheart, not socialization time," Squall

charged at me, gunblade to one side ready to strike. I dogged his

blow and kicked his knee really hard.

"Common, instructor stop going easy on me." But he stopped the

set of duels and talked about being ready for other types of

attacks, like when I kicked his knee so he would fall.......boring

"Excuse this announcement but would Alex Kessler report to Cid's

office please?"

I took my stuff and headed for the elevator.

"Hello Alex, come in, sit down," Cid invited me in. I didn't want to

sit.

"I'll stand thanks," I said quickly.

"Ok, I'll make this brief, your mother left town the day you arrived

here at the garden and she hasn't been back since. She's missed

rent collection and the land lord wants you moved out by

tomorrow," I looked at him no, I looked through him. I couldn't look

at him.

"What? Where am I gonna put everything? There's not enough

room in my dorm for all the stuff," I looked at him like he was trying

to take the last part of home away from me, and he was.

"I don't know, but if you don't find a place today he's gonna sell it

all and keep the profits, but there's more......" I can't believe this! I

don't care about my step mom's stuff but there was things of my

real mothers that I could never part with.

"Well what am I gonna do? I have no help from the garden to move

all the stuff, I can't do it all by myself and I have ''till tomorrow?" I

was pacing back and forth in his office looking like I was ready to

tear the place apart.

"Wait, there's something else, you might want to sit down for

this....."

"What? What else do you have to say to me headmaster Cid?!"

Hehe cool, I was yelling at the headmaster.

"Your grandmother passed away last night," he looked away as my

face turned red and tears welled up in my eyes.

"Wh...a...t? First you tell me that my mother is being evicted, is no

where to be seen and that I have to clear out, then you tell me that my only true blood family that I have left died last night, and........."

I couldn't even finish so I ran out of his office. I needed to get my

mother's things, I couldn't let them be sold.

I took a car, even though I'm too young to drive, to my house in

Balamb.

My room, I had to get everything I could fit into the car from my

room, them up to the attic and get my mothers stuff

then.......then.......then what ever happens, happens.

So that's what I did. I took all my posters, stuffed animals, pictures

and jewellery that I owned, then I went to the attic and got all my

mother's old clothes, jewellery and pictures and went downstairs

with my dad's old baseball bat.

"No one's gonna make a profit off of any of this stuff!" I yelled as I

went through the house smashing every piece of anything that

could possibly be valuable.

When I was done all they could make anything off was the

toothpicks they'd make from the wood splinters. I slouched onto

the stairs.

"Alex? Why did you come back? You know I'll kill you but if your

there then I'll find you sooner."

"Daddy?"

"You better get out soon......."

My eyes snapped open. Wow, that was weird, how long have I

been here? I started to get up when I heard the door open.

Where's my gunblade?! Oh, good right there, don't move

wait......wait.......

"Woh, what happened here?" a male voice asked

"No idea........."

"Shhhhh! Who's that?" I'm guessing they saw me. I pretended to

be asleep.

"Why the hell is Alex here? Ya think she did this?"

"Probably," I heard three separate voices. Nice, this should be fun.

"Just grab her, maybe we can get some info bout the garden from

her."

"Yeah, I'll look around to see if there's anyone else here," that was

him, that backstabbing bastard. My dad.

"Ok, Jake you get her arms I'll get her legs....." I don't think

so........... Closer.........closer.....closer.........now! I grabbed my

gunblade and stabbed the nearest thing to me.

"Shit," he wheezed then fell over.

"John! Keegan's down!" I lunged at the Galbadian solder with my

gunblade and struck him in the arm.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" I kneed him in the stomach and ran. He ran after

me.

"Get away from me, I have no problem with killing you!" I stopped

and faced him in the street.

"Alex, if you don't come with me then we'll kill Seifer." He's still

alive! Oh no, what have they done to him to get information? Shit!

"Yeah right, like I'm gonna trust you, that last time I trusted you,

you ran out and I never saw you till a couple of days ago. I really

don't think so, and how could you leave me with that bitch?" Jake,

the guy I stabbed in the arm came up behind my dad.

"That's the thing though, it could be a trap and Seifer could already

be dead but he could really be alive and his life will depend on you.

Oh and how else would we know his name?" What an evil person,

how could I have come from that?

People stopped and watched from the side walks, we were in the

middle of the street.

"No he........no! I won't!" but if he is alive then......

"Ok, then, hey Jake? How many whippings will it take to get the

name of the SeeD secret code?" What secret code? What if there

is none and there just using it as an excuse to whip him?!

"Wait! I'll.........." I looked around of the civilians, all eyes on me. "I'll

go,"

My dad looked as if he just won the Olympic gold for logic.

"I thought so," he walked toward me with a rope in his hands.

"Put your hands behind your back and make this easy for me."

I had to do what he said, Seifer's life (or not,) depended on it. He

tied my hands behind my back and a van picked us both up.

"Seifer!" he was there in the van, pretty beaten up but alive. My

dad had to hold me back, I can't believe how happy I was to see

Seifer but when you think you killed someone and they're not really

dead then you can't help from being happy.

"Ok Alex, here's the deal. We're gonna let you go, your gonna

steal the fly chip and bring it back to me. Then your gonna cut the

power and were gonna attack, if we suspect that anything is going

wrong or that anyone else knows, Seifer dies,"

"Why? Why are you going to do this?" I asked keeping and eyes

on Seifer, he looked like he was in a lot of pain.

"'Because honey, that's what I've been ordered to do, now do as

you're told and Seifer won't get hurt." I looked at him, my dad, with

cold eyes,

"No." I sat up and looked him directly in the eyes. "I won't do it." He

looked at Seifer then hit me.

"Ahhhh!" I fell off the seat and hit the floor face first. "Ohhh," I spit

up blood.

How could he do this to me?

"Leave her alone!" Seifer yelled at my dad. He got punched a

couple of times in the stomach by the guys holding him.

"No! Stop!" I cried, still on the floor

"Alex, I will kill him," he got up and held my gunblade to Seifer's

throat.

"No don't please!" I spat out some more blood "I'll......I'll do it,"

Seifer shook his head but he stopped him.

He released Seifer and handed me my gunblade, and smirked

"Good, that's a good little daddy's girl,"

They dropped me back at my house and I got back into the

garden's car and drove back to Balamb garden.

"Alex? Are you alright?" Cid was waiting for me in the parking lot.

"Yeah, just peachy." Oh shit! I forgot about my eye!

"Did you do that Alex? Did you try to beat yourself up?" I glared at

him and spit out a bit of blood.

"Yeah, now leave me alone," I walked past him.

"Alex, nothing will come of this." He looked at me with pity in his

eyes.

"I got all the valuable things, the rest of the shit there is theirs," I

walked past him with two large boxes and headed for my room.

"Hey Alex, um do you need help?" Zell walked up to me but I didn't

stop.

"No," I was in a bad mood but I couldn't take it out on Zell. "I'm

fine." He didn't buy that.

"What's up? Whoa, how did ya get the black eye?" Zell please,

stop I can't tell you.

"Uh.......I uh gave it to myself, to see how much pain I can endure."

Seifer hold on, I won't let you die.

"Alex, please, something's up, you know you can tell my anything."

"I know but this..........I can't," I started to run.