Working' For the Man
Chapter 1
Wakey, Wakey to One Hell Of A Surprise
In the inky darkness of space, a ship prepared to reawaken. She had silently tracked another for over 3 thousand millennia. Her crew were in the deep, oblivious sleep of stasis... had been most of those millennia. Her computer was on minimal power, silently keeping watch over her ship and her people. The Andromeda stopped suddenly. She jolted to life as though a switch had been hit.
"... Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen." Rory Rimmer stood expectantly in her stasis booth, waiting for something to happen. To her surprise, the doors to her booth whooshed open. She quickly realized that the stasis period was likely over. She stepped out of the booth, followed by the rest of the crew from theirs, once they saw that it was all right to emerge. They dashed to the nearest monitor, which was in a conference room on g-deck.
"Miranda?" Rory politely demanded. Miranda's face popped into view. "Oh, good," she chirped, "you're just in time for the briefing. Well, sit, sit," Miranda insisted to them.
Everyone got situated. Then Miranda began.
"In case you didn't know, I have highly advanced stochastic capabilities..." she began, only to be interrupted by Steve Warren, Technician 2nd class.
"Stock-ass-it... what?"
Rory sighed. " Basically, Steve, she's psychic." She turned to Miranda. "Carry on. And make sure it's simple enough for Steve to understand." Steve was a dear boy, and actually reasonably intelligent, but he sometimes seemed like he was on a time delay from everybody else.
"Right. Anyway, I tracked Red Dwarf; she was heading very quickly into deep space. I elected to put everyone into stasis. When I told Captain Briggs ..." She was interrupted agin, this time by Robyn Andrews, Navigation Officer Second Class, an almost feral, definitely feisty black woman.
"Speaking of, where the hell is that useless sonofabitch?" She patted her neatly arranged black and purple fro; it wasn't for nothing that she was nicknamed "Diva".
"Where the hell is Cusack? That's what really concerns me," added Angelica "Angel" MacGregor. Rowan Cusack was the ship's counselor, and sole hologram; he was considerably more popular than that drunken a-hole Briggs. Briggs had been assigned this mission simply to get him out of Space Corps' hair.
"You know, if you guys would let me finish, I'd tell you what happened to them," Miranda interjected, her clipped British accent standing out from those of the crew (who were all American; with the exception of Rory, whose time at the world-renowned University of Oklahoma and five years in the Space Corps' Oklahoma branch had pretty much Americanized her accent... she hailed originally from Io, one of Jupiter's moons... they all sounded British because Io was originally colonized by the British... okay, is anyone else bored by this overdose of information? Let's just get back to the story.)
Everyone looked expectantly at Miranda. Finally, Jodie Nash and Drew Roberts, both Technicians First Class, said (in unison), "Well?"
"Sorry," Miranda replied, "kinda lost track." She paused, deciding the best way was just to break it to them. "Well, guys, I'm sorry to say, but Briggs is dead." The crew sat in stunned silence.
"How?" Drew finally had the courage to ask.
"Well, as you all were going into stasis, the captain, drunk as usual, fell down a ramp. He broke his neck and was killed instantly. I had Binky the Skutter MediHover his body to the MediUnit, where he's been cryogenically frozen the entire time you were in stasis."
They sat and mulled this new information over. Briggs had been about as popular as pubic lice, but they all agreed that it was a tragic and, and were at least glad he hadn't suffered.
Just as Angel was about to ask what had happened to Dr. Cusack, he bounded in, the metal "H" on his forehead gleaming. He took the seat next to Angel and to her surprise, hugged her.
"How could you do that?" she asked, completely taken by surprise.
"I'm sorry, hon," Cusack replied, "I didn't think you'd mind!"
"No," she shot back, "I mean how is it possible? You're a hologram." It was possible because Andromeda was pulled by tractor beam into a space station, where he'd met the entity Legion, who had given him the hard light drive. Since Legion turned out to be a gestalt entity, that was comprised solely of himself, he convinced it to let him go.
"I'll explain it to you later," he promised. "Right now, we've got more important things to discuss."
**************************************************************************** ******************************
Three million years. They'd been in stasis for three thousand millennia. The crew didn't take it well at first. They moped for weeks on end. Finally, as acting captain, Rory took charge. They came to realize that they had known there was a lot of risk involved. They had been prepared for the possibility of never seeing their loved ones again... not that that was really an issue. The one thing they had in common was lack of family, or the lack of desire to be in contact with family. They had become their own family in the two years in training for this mission, and in eight months aboard the ship.
After a funeral for the (extremely) late Captain Briggs, life aboard the United States Space Vessel Andromeda settled into a routine: staying occupied until they caught up to Red Dwarf. Legion's replicator technology plus the vacuum sealed stores of supplies would keep them fed, clothed, and taken care of the rest of their natural lives, and then some. They also had all kinds of new equipment in the science lab, and a fantastic jukebox in the lounge. It wasn't a bad life, really.
One day, about two months after Briggs' funeral, a blip appeared on the monitor screen on the Bridge. Tim and Drew, on their piloting shift, made an inquiry of Miranda.
"Yo, Toots," Tim asked, "what the hell is that on our radar screen?"
Miranda checked it out on her monitors. She then paged Rory to the Bridge. Rory came running from the lounge, her gray uniform shirt untucked from her black pleated skirt and her tie loosened. She had a Banana Bomb in hand; it was Friday, and time for cutting loose.
"Well? What's going on?" she inquired. "This had better be good, guys. It's karaoke night in the Tiki Lounge, and Cusack's tanked on holo- tinis." She wasn't all that drunk, just vaguely lit.
Miranda's eyes were gleaming. "Acting Captain Rimmer, we have found Red Dwarf."
Rory plunked heavily into the Captain's chair. "Are you serious?"
"Absolutely."
Rory pulled herself together. "Well, what are you waiting for, then? Tell everybody to get their butts in here! This is big news!"
It took about five minutes for the crew to gather on the Bridge. They formed around the Captain's chair and faced Miranda with the greatest anticipation.
"I'm picking up a signal," Tim informed them.
"Well, patch it through," several of them replied.
First, there was static. "This is a distress call from the JMC mining ship Red Dwarf," came over the audio as the screen slowly was able to transmit a picture. Finally, a man could be seen. Rory gasped, then fainted, for it was her Uncle Arnie.
Chapter 1
Wakey, Wakey to One Hell Of A Surprise
In the inky darkness of space, a ship prepared to reawaken. She had silently tracked another for over 3 thousand millennia. Her crew were in the deep, oblivious sleep of stasis... had been most of those millennia. Her computer was on minimal power, silently keeping watch over her ship and her people. The Andromeda stopped suddenly. She jolted to life as though a switch had been hit.
"... Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen." Rory Rimmer stood expectantly in her stasis booth, waiting for something to happen. To her surprise, the doors to her booth whooshed open. She quickly realized that the stasis period was likely over. She stepped out of the booth, followed by the rest of the crew from theirs, once they saw that it was all right to emerge. They dashed to the nearest monitor, which was in a conference room on g-deck.
"Miranda?" Rory politely demanded. Miranda's face popped into view. "Oh, good," she chirped, "you're just in time for the briefing. Well, sit, sit," Miranda insisted to them.
Everyone got situated. Then Miranda began.
"In case you didn't know, I have highly advanced stochastic capabilities..." she began, only to be interrupted by Steve Warren, Technician 2nd class.
"Stock-ass-it... what?"
Rory sighed. " Basically, Steve, she's psychic." She turned to Miranda. "Carry on. And make sure it's simple enough for Steve to understand." Steve was a dear boy, and actually reasonably intelligent, but he sometimes seemed like he was on a time delay from everybody else.
"Right. Anyway, I tracked Red Dwarf; she was heading very quickly into deep space. I elected to put everyone into stasis. When I told Captain Briggs ..." She was interrupted agin, this time by Robyn Andrews, Navigation Officer Second Class, an almost feral, definitely feisty black woman.
"Speaking of, where the hell is that useless sonofabitch?" She patted her neatly arranged black and purple fro; it wasn't for nothing that she was nicknamed "Diva".
"Where the hell is Cusack? That's what really concerns me," added Angelica "Angel" MacGregor. Rowan Cusack was the ship's counselor, and sole hologram; he was considerably more popular than that drunken a-hole Briggs. Briggs had been assigned this mission simply to get him out of Space Corps' hair.
"You know, if you guys would let me finish, I'd tell you what happened to them," Miranda interjected, her clipped British accent standing out from those of the crew (who were all American; with the exception of Rory, whose time at the world-renowned University of Oklahoma and five years in the Space Corps' Oklahoma branch had pretty much Americanized her accent... she hailed originally from Io, one of Jupiter's moons... they all sounded British because Io was originally colonized by the British... okay, is anyone else bored by this overdose of information? Let's just get back to the story.)
Everyone looked expectantly at Miranda. Finally, Jodie Nash and Drew Roberts, both Technicians First Class, said (in unison), "Well?"
"Sorry," Miranda replied, "kinda lost track." She paused, deciding the best way was just to break it to them. "Well, guys, I'm sorry to say, but Briggs is dead." The crew sat in stunned silence.
"How?" Drew finally had the courage to ask.
"Well, as you all were going into stasis, the captain, drunk as usual, fell down a ramp. He broke his neck and was killed instantly. I had Binky the Skutter MediHover his body to the MediUnit, where he's been cryogenically frozen the entire time you were in stasis."
They sat and mulled this new information over. Briggs had been about as popular as pubic lice, but they all agreed that it was a tragic and, and were at least glad he hadn't suffered.
Just as Angel was about to ask what had happened to Dr. Cusack, he bounded in, the metal "H" on his forehead gleaming. He took the seat next to Angel and to her surprise, hugged her.
"How could you do that?" she asked, completely taken by surprise.
"I'm sorry, hon," Cusack replied, "I didn't think you'd mind!"
"No," she shot back, "I mean how is it possible? You're a hologram." It was possible because Andromeda was pulled by tractor beam into a space station, where he'd met the entity Legion, who had given him the hard light drive. Since Legion turned out to be a gestalt entity, that was comprised solely of himself, he convinced it to let him go.
"I'll explain it to you later," he promised. "Right now, we've got more important things to discuss."
**************************************************************************** ******************************
Three million years. They'd been in stasis for three thousand millennia. The crew didn't take it well at first. They moped for weeks on end. Finally, as acting captain, Rory took charge. They came to realize that they had known there was a lot of risk involved. They had been prepared for the possibility of never seeing their loved ones again... not that that was really an issue. The one thing they had in common was lack of family, or the lack of desire to be in contact with family. They had become their own family in the two years in training for this mission, and in eight months aboard the ship.
After a funeral for the (extremely) late Captain Briggs, life aboard the United States Space Vessel Andromeda settled into a routine: staying occupied until they caught up to Red Dwarf. Legion's replicator technology plus the vacuum sealed stores of supplies would keep them fed, clothed, and taken care of the rest of their natural lives, and then some. They also had all kinds of new equipment in the science lab, and a fantastic jukebox in the lounge. It wasn't a bad life, really.
One day, about two months after Briggs' funeral, a blip appeared on the monitor screen on the Bridge. Tim and Drew, on their piloting shift, made an inquiry of Miranda.
"Yo, Toots," Tim asked, "what the hell is that on our radar screen?"
Miranda checked it out on her monitors. She then paged Rory to the Bridge. Rory came running from the lounge, her gray uniform shirt untucked from her black pleated skirt and her tie loosened. She had a Banana Bomb in hand; it was Friday, and time for cutting loose.
"Well? What's going on?" she inquired. "This had better be good, guys. It's karaoke night in the Tiki Lounge, and Cusack's tanked on holo- tinis." She wasn't all that drunk, just vaguely lit.
Miranda's eyes were gleaming. "Acting Captain Rimmer, we have found Red Dwarf."
Rory plunked heavily into the Captain's chair. "Are you serious?"
"Absolutely."
Rory pulled herself together. "Well, what are you waiting for, then? Tell everybody to get their butts in here! This is big news!"
It took about five minutes for the crew to gather on the Bridge. They formed around the Captain's chair and faced Miranda with the greatest anticipation.
"I'm picking up a signal," Tim informed them.
"Well, patch it through," several of them replied.
First, there was static. "This is a distress call from the JMC mining ship Red Dwarf," came over the audio as the screen slowly was able to transmit a picture. Finally, a man could be seen. Rory gasped, then fainted, for it was her Uncle Arnie.
