Greetings, people, and welcome to my third interview. This time, I was able to get for my the CGI "actor" who portrayed Zell Dincht in the game Final Fantasy VIII. What's up?
"I am quite excited. Finally, I have a place to announce my latest role!"
And what would that be?
"I just got back the call from my agent. I've been given the lead in Hamlet: The Video Game!"
Um, why? You're a bad-ass!
"What? You haven't heard of my past? I am one of the finest Shakespearean actors in the video game circuit! Why, 'Timber Maniacs' called me, and I quote, 'The greatest Banquo ever to play in the video game world this century!'"
Okay. First off, how did that occur?
"Of course you know about my past, right?"
Bih?
"The long years studying in the finest theater programs in Deling City? The fact that I was made a Knight by the Sorceress herself ?"
Excuse me, but I thought that Seifer was "the Sorceress' knight..."
"What? You poor fool! That no-talent idiot sucked the most dick I've seen for a part in years, and that's WITH his brother Cloud calling in every favor he could to get him the role!"
Okay. And how did you get the part in the game?
"Respect for my acting skills, plain and simple. They knew they needed a great actor for the part, and I was it."
And were they right?
"Well, the Noley I have on my bookshelf for 'Best Supporting Actor in a Video Game' would say they were..."
Ah, yes. So, what roles did they look at?
"Well, I told you about most, but then there was...."
Um, you drifted off for a second.
"OKAY, OKAY! I WAS IN ACTION VIDEO GAMES! I WAS YOUNG AND NEEDED MONEY! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!"
Well, we had that idea. Which ones were you in, anyway?
"I was just in one. Virtua Fighter. I was that one dude. I can't remember the name again."
Whoa, I couldn't place that. I do know that Quistis was talking about some wild times you had had in the past...
"Ah, yes. We were in the same class together. Became good friends, actually. We both heard about our luck in our...previous roles the same day. We hung out, got drunk, before we knew it we were all over each other. After that, we'd just do some wild, self-destructive sex every so often. Really cool, actually."
I'd gather. So, everyone wants to know. What's with the tattoo?
"Well, it's connected with how I got back to what I wanted to do all along. Sega had a thing where they didn't want to change the characters too much. I really wanted to make them fire me, so one night I went over to this joint and got a tattoo right on my face. Worked like a charm."
But wouldn't that ruin your chances for serious roles in the ones you wanted?
"Heavens no! I just put some makeup on top of it. Covers it up, I'm left able to do REAL acting."
But why did you leave it off for FFVIII?
"Funny story. I actually had makeup over it during an early scene in the cafeteria. However, I ran out of makeup before my major scenes started, and I couldn't get more. I told the directors, and they actually liked it. They claimed I 'looked more hardcore' with the bloody thing on."
We would say so. So, aside from Quistis, did you have any...relations with anyone else on set?
"Not too many. Just the various...extras I was able to help get in there..."
Oh, really?
"Yes. As a way to give back to the people, I briefly tried to teach theater in some American universities. However, most of the best mocked me when I tried to interview. I had to settle for ::snickers:: Brown, of all places."
That must have sucked.
"Well, I was able to find some attractive co-eds who worshipped me. I got them some minor roles on their 'acting skills.'"
Whoa.
"Yeah. All of the library girls were products of this."
I see. Well, that was very informative. Tune in next time for another exciting interview!
"I am quite excited. Finally, I have a place to announce my latest role!"
And what would that be?
"I just got back the call from my agent. I've been given the lead in Hamlet: The Video Game!"
Um, why? You're a bad-ass!
"What? You haven't heard of my past? I am one of the finest Shakespearean actors in the video game circuit! Why, 'Timber Maniacs' called me, and I quote, 'The greatest Banquo ever to play in the video game world this century!'"
Okay. First off, how did that occur?
"Of course you know about my past, right?"
Bih?
"The long years studying in the finest theater programs in Deling City? The fact that I was made a Knight by the Sorceress herself ?"
Excuse me, but I thought that Seifer was "the Sorceress' knight..."
"What? You poor fool! That no-talent idiot sucked the most dick I've seen for a part in years, and that's WITH his brother Cloud calling in every favor he could to get him the role!"
Okay. And how did you get the part in the game?
"Respect for my acting skills, plain and simple. They knew they needed a great actor for the part, and I was it."
And were they right?
"Well, the Noley I have on my bookshelf for 'Best Supporting Actor in a Video Game' would say they were..."
Ah, yes. So, what roles did they look at?
"Well, I told you about most, but then there was...."
Um, you drifted off for a second.
"OKAY, OKAY! I WAS IN ACTION VIDEO GAMES! I WAS YOUNG AND NEEDED MONEY! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!"
Well, we had that idea. Which ones were you in, anyway?
"I was just in one. Virtua Fighter. I was that one dude. I can't remember the name again."
Whoa, I couldn't place that. I do know that Quistis was talking about some wild times you had had in the past...
"Ah, yes. We were in the same class together. Became good friends, actually. We both heard about our luck in our...previous roles the same day. We hung out, got drunk, before we knew it we were all over each other. After that, we'd just do some wild, self-destructive sex every so often. Really cool, actually."
I'd gather. So, everyone wants to know. What's with the tattoo?
"Well, it's connected with how I got back to what I wanted to do all along. Sega had a thing where they didn't want to change the characters too much. I really wanted to make them fire me, so one night I went over to this joint and got a tattoo right on my face. Worked like a charm."
But wouldn't that ruin your chances for serious roles in the ones you wanted?
"Heavens no! I just put some makeup on top of it. Covers it up, I'm left able to do REAL acting."
But why did you leave it off for FFVIII?
"Funny story. I actually had makeup over it during an early scene in the cafeteria. However, I ran out of makeup before my major scenes started, and I couldn't get more. I told the directors, and they actually liked it. They claimed I 'looked more hardcore' with the bloody thing on."
We would say so. So, aside from Quistis, did you have any...relations with anyone else on set?
"Not too many. Just the various...extras I was able to help get in there..."
Oh, really?
"Yes. As a way to give back to the people, I briefly tried to teach theater in some American universities. However, most of the best mocked me when I tried to interview. I had to settle for ::snickers:: Brown, of all places."
That must have sucked.
"Well, I was able to find some attractive co-eds who worshipped me. I got them some minor roles on their 'acting skills.'"
Whoa.
"Yeah. All of the library girls were products of this."
I see. Well, that was very informative. Tune in next time for another exciting interview!
