Buffy was dead, she knew it even before she had seen her own body,
she had seen the pain and hurt in the eyes of her friends as they
walked towards the shell that she had just vacated and she knew. Her
mother put her hand on her shoulder and whispered
"Hi honey"
Buffy turned and smiled
"Mom, I missed you so much" they hugged briefly before both turning
back to the grieving group.
"Thank you Buffy." Her mother spoke the words softly and when they
reached buffy's ears it was as if they were being carried by the wind.
"For what dying·. leaving my friends hurt and miserable·. leaving my
sister without anyone to look after her·. Mom, what are you thanking
me for?"
Joyce smiled.
"She has people to look after her, But you kept your promise to me, I
asked you to protect her and you did, you gave her the greatest gift
you could."
"Yeah I know, death is my gift"
"No Buffy, life , life is the gift you gave to Dawn"
Buffy looked down at her feet and was surprised to find them
unchanged.
"I guess, Will she be OK alone?"
Joyce nodded and looked at her youngest 'daughter'.
"Yes she will be fine, she has Mr. Giles to teach her, Willow to lean
on for support and Xander to be brave and help her through the
storm."
Buffy felt better but not ready to move on.
"I never had a chance to say good bye"
Joyce nodded again.
"Buffy do you remember the day before my funeral you had that dream
where I told you I was ok and that you needed to move on"
Buffy recalled the dream and how when she woke up from it, although
she was not over her mom's death she did have a strange feeling of
peace
"Well if you had spoken to Mr Giles he would have told you of a dream
he had telling him to look after you both and Dawn would have told
you how much I loved you both. In fact how much I love you all" Joyce
brought up her hand and pointed to the group.
"You have a chance to visit their dreams to ease their pain, to say
what needs to be said."
Buffy smiled then for the first time since her death.
"I can, how?"
Buffy stood in Willow's dorm room looking down on the red head who
tossed and turned in a very disturbed sleep. Tara sat awake in a
chair near the bed looking over her as if she were ill, the pain in
Tara's eyes told Buffy how much she loved Willow and also in a
smaller way her too. It had been 2 days since her death and Willow
seemed to be taking it the worst, or worst in the most visual way.
Buffy's heart broke watching them all suffer over the last few days,
and she knew that Willow's solo trip to LA had been hard on her, not
only did she feel the guilt of not being able to save her she had
taken upon herself the enormous responsibility of being the messenger
to Angel, Cordy and Wesley. Even as Buffy sat on the bed beside her
best friend she seen the bottle of pills on the dresser, Buffy had
been there when the doctor had given them to her saying that they
were just something to help her sleep.
But Buffy knew what would help more, she closed her eyes and as she
touched Willow, slowly everything went black and buffy found herself
floating in nothingness.
It then occurred to her that the drugs Willow had taken may be
suppressing her dreams but she knew there was still a chance if she
concentrated on the one place they always felt most comfortable in.
When she opened her eyes she was with Willow in the library of
Sunnydale High School, Willow sat at the study desk crying softly to
herself as Buffy walked forward.
"Hey Will, What's up?"
Willow looked up sharply.
"Buffy?" she cried as she stood and ran at her hugging her tight.
"I knew you would be ok, I knew you were alive!"
Buffy shook her head and pulled away.
"Willow look around we are in the Library, you know the one that not
here anymore, I am dead, and I'm sorry. I didn't want to leave you,
Xander, Giles or Dawn but I didn't have any other choice and I need
you to understand, and not blame yourself."
Willow started to cry again.
"But I do blame myself. If only I had worked out a better spell I
could have saved you, And Buffy I told Angel, Giles offered but I
knew you would want it to be me. I saw him break down, Cordy too I
actually saw them both cry." Buffy stepped forward and hugged her.
"I know I was there, and you're right I would have wanted you to tell
them. But they needed to know and you were there for me when I needed
you most to help the people I love to get through my death, and now I
need to look after Dawn."
Willow looked into Buffy's eyes.
"Buffy you don't even have to ask, Dawn will be well looked
after......."
then after a pause.
"Is this only a dream?"
"Yes but I'm really here to tell you these things, like when you get
arrested and you can make one phone call, well it's like that only
it's a dream call and I can make more than one."
Willow hugged Buffy again
"I miss you Buffy" Buffy then began to cry.
"I miss you more, tell Tara I said good bye, I would tell her myself
but she's awake watching over you, she loves you very much you know."
Willow nodded
"I know."
Buffy stepped back,
"I need to go now, love you, I'll see you again."
"I love you too, see you."
Buffy started to fade away but had time to say
"Mom sends her love."
when she was gone Willow cried again
Back in the dorm room Buffy stood at the foot of Willow's bed and saw
her wake with tears running down her cheeks.
"Buffy?" she said in a whisper
Tara moved to sit beside her
"No, it's Tara."
Willow smiled up at her
"Buffy came to see me in my dream to say good bye"
Tara smiled back
"I'm glad."
It was easy to find the others because they seemed to all be on Dawn
watch. Buffy knew that the only reason Willow was not there was
because she had been sent home after arriving back from LA. Xander
had fallen asleep on Giles' sofa with Anya softly sleeping on his
chest. Buffy entered his dream a lot easier than Willow's she wasn't
sure if she was just getting good at it or if it was the fact that he
was already dreaming. She entered hoping that it was not something to
do with Anya and desert topping, but was strangely surprised. It
seemed Xander was also back in High School but not the library, it
was the common area where they had spent so much free time eating
snacks and chatting about demons or their love lives· whichever was
causing the most trouble at the time. Xander was sitting on one of
the comfortable chairs waiting for someone, Buffy took her chance.
"Hey Xander, who you waiting for?"
Xander sat up straight, he was surprised to see her.
"Buffy?.·I was waiting for you, but I didn't think you would come
because you're....."
Buffy picked up where he trailed off.
"Dead?"
Xander nodded.
"But you're not, because you're here."
"But I'm not here Xander I'm dead but I need you to be Brave, I need
you to look after Willow and Dawn, can you do that?"
"Sure I can Buff." was the reply filled to breaking point by false
happiness. He realized though that he couldn't fool himself or Buffy,
so he spoke the truth.
"I'll try, but I could never do it as well as you."
Buffy smiled
"That's all I ask.... but if anything happens to my sister I'll haunt
you forever!"
Xander smiled his Xander smile and with a sparkle in his eye said
"It that a promise?"
Buffy nodded her head
"Good bye Xander take care of yourself, I don't want to see you until
you're an old man with a dozen grandchildren, or unless I get a
chance to visit."
Xander stood from his seat and hugged her
"Good bye Buffy, you'll always be my fantasy girl."
"Thanks Xander, for everything."
Xander pulled away the smile hiding the pain
"so are ya gonna strip, in my dreams you always end with a lap dance."
"Good bye Xander"
Buffy stood once again the sitting room. Giles sat in one of his arm
chairs and before she could enter his dream she noticed that he was
awake so she sat on the edge of his coffee table in front of him she
could see by the red rings around his eyes that he had been crying.
"Oh Giles."
As Buffy spoke Giles head snapped up and he looked around.
"Buffy?..... are you there?"
Buffy was amazed
"Giles you can hear me?"
"Yes I can ....... or I may be losing my mind....is it really you?"
"I came to say good bye."
"Must you go? There is so much I wanted to tell you, mostly that I'm
sorry I lost you ,that I failed you."
Buffy cried.
"Giles you have been more of a Father to me in the last five Years
than my own, and I love you. I chose my destiny and did what was
right. Like it says in my job description."
"Yes Buffy you did what was right and for that I'm very proud."
"No Giles I'm proud of you and of my friends and my sister, I've said
good bye to Willow and Xander, they need your help getting through
this as well. I already said good bye to Dawn, she needs to move on,
look after her,and yourself"
"I will Buffy."
"Good bye, I love you Giles"
"I love you too."
Buffy met her Mother at the front door and Joyce spoke in a whisper.
"All done?"
They both walked into the room Dawn was occupying
"Yes I am, I hate leaving them, and if I can find a loophole to this
dying thing I'll be back."
Joyce and her daughter gazed down at the sleeping teenager and they
both faded away.
she had seen the pain and hurt in the eyes of her friends as they
walked towards the shell that she had just vacated and she knew. Her
mother put her hand on her shoulder and whispered
"Hi honey"
Buffy turned and smiled
"Mom, I missed you so much" they hugged briefly before both turning
back to the grieving group.
"Thank you Buffy." Her mother spoke the words softly and when they
reached buffy's ears it was as if they were being carried by the wind.
"For what dying·. leaving my friends hurt and miserable·. leaving my
sister without anyone to look after her·. Mom, what are you thanking
me for?"
Joyce smiled.
"She has people to look after her, But you kept your promise to me, I
asked you to protect her and you did, you gave her the greatest gift
you could."
"Yeah I know, death is my gift"
"No Buffy, life , life is the gift you gave to Dawn"
Buffy looked down at her feet and was surprised to find them
unchanged.
"I guess, Will she be OK alone?"
Joyce nodded and looked at her youngest 'daughter'.
"Yes she will be fine, she has Mr. Giles to teach her, Willow to lean
on for support and Xander to be brave and help her through the
storm."
Buffy felt better but not ready to move on.
"I never had a chance to say good bye"
Joyce nodded again.
"Buffy do you remember the day before my funeral you had that dream
where I told you I was ok and that you needed to move on"
Buffy recalled the dream and how when she woke up from it, although
she was not over her mom's death she did have a strange feeling of
peace
"Well if you had spoken to Mr Giles he would have told you of a dream
he had telling him to look after you both and Dawn would have told
you how much I loved you both. In fact how much I love you all" Joyce
brought up her hand and pointed to the group.
"You have a chance to visit their dreams to ease their pain, to say
what needs to be said."
Buffy smiled then for the first time since her death.
"I can, how?"
Buffy stood in Willow's dorm room looking down on the red head who
tossed and turned in a very disturbed sleep. Tara sat awake in a
chair near the bed looking over her as if she were ill, the pain in
Tara's eyes told Buffy how much she loved Willow and also in a
smaller way her too. It had been 2 days since her death and Willow
seemed to be taking it the worst, or worst in the most visual way.
Buffy's heart broke watching them all suffer over the last few days,
and she knew that Willow's solo trip to LA had been hard on her, not
only did she feel the guilt of not being able to save her she had
taken upon herself the enormous responsibility of being the messenger
to Angel, Cordy and Wesley. Even as Buffy sat on the bed beside her
best friend she seen the bottle of pills on the dresser, Buffy had
been there when the doctor had given them to her saying that they
were just something to help her sleep.
But Buffy knew what would help more, she closed her eyes and as she
touched Willow, slowly everything went black and buffy found herself
floating in nothingness.
It then occurred to her that the drugs Willow had taken may be
suppressing her dreams but she knew there was still a chance if she
concentrated on the one place they always felt most comfortable in.
When she opened her eyes she was with Willow in the library of
Sunnydale High School, Willow sat at the study desk crying softly to
herself as Buffy walked forward.
"Hey Will, What's up?"
Willow looked up sharply.
"Buffy?" she cried as she stood and ran at her hugging her tight.
"I knew you would be ok, I knew you were alive!"
Buffy shook her head and pulled away.
"Willow look around we are in the Library, you know the one that not
here anymore, I am dead, and I'm sorry. I didn't want to leave you,
Xander, Giles or Dawn but I didn't have any other choice and I need
you to understand, and not blame yourself."
Willow started to cry again.
"But I do blame myself. If only I had worked out a better spell I
could have saved you, And Buffy I told Angel, Giles offered but I
knew you would want it to be me. I saw him break down, Cordy too I
actually saw them both cry." Buffy stepped forward and hugged her.
"I know I was there, and you're right I would have wanted you to tell
them. But they needed to know and you were there for me when I needed
you most to help the people I love to get through my death, and now I
need to look after Dawn."
Willow looked into Buffy's eyes.
"Buffy you don't even have to ask, Dawn will be well looked
after......."
then after a pause.
"Is this only a dream?"
"Yes but I'm really here to tell you these things, like when you get
arrested and you can make one phone call, well it's like that only
it's a dream call and I can make more than one."
Willow hugged Buffy again
"I miss you Buffy" Buffy then began to cry.
"I miss you more, tell Tara I said good bye, I would tell her myself
but she's awake watching over you, she loves you very much you know."
Willow nodded
"I know."
Buffy stepped back,
"I need to go now, love you, I'll see you again."
"I love you too, see you."
Buffy started to fade away but had time to say
"Mom sends her love."
when she was gone Willow cried again
Back in the dorm room Buffy stood at the foot of Willow's bed and saw
her wake with tears running down her cheeks.
"Buffy?" she said in a whisper
Tara moved to sit beside her
"No, it's Tara."
Willow smiled up at her
"Buffy came to see me in my dream to say good bye"
Tara smiled back
"I'm glad."
It was easy to find the others because they seemed to all be on Dawn
watch. Buffy knew that the only reason Willow was not there was
because she had been sent home after arriving back from LA. Xander
had fallen asleep on Giles' sofa with Anya softly sleeping on his
chest. Buffy entered his dream a lot easier than Willow's she wasn't
sure if she was just getting good at it or if it was the fact that he
was already dreaming. She entered hoping that it was not something to
do with Anya and desert topping, but was strangely surprised. It
seemed Xander was also back in High School but not the library, it
was the common area where they had spent so much free time eating
snacks and chatting about demons or their love lives· whichever was
causing the most trouble at the time. Xander was sitting on one of
the comfortable chairs waiting for someone, Buffy took her chance.
"Hey Xander, who you waiting for?"
Xander sat up straight, he was surprised to see her.
"Buffy?.·I was waiting for you, but I didn't think you would come
because you're....."
Buffy picked up where he trailed off.
"Dead?"
Xander nodded.
"But you're not, because you're here."
"But I'm not here Xander I'm dead but I need you to be Brave, I need
you to look after Willow and Dawn, can you do that?"
"Sure I can Buff." was the reply filled to breaking point by false
happiness. He realized though that he couldn't fool himself or Buffy,
so he spoke the truth.
"I'll try, but I could never do it as well as you."
Buffy smiled
"That's all I ask.... but if anything happens to my sister I'll haunt
you forever!"
Xander smiled his Xander smile and with a sparkle in his eye said
"It that a promise?"
Buffy nodded her head
"Good bye Xander take care of yourself, I don't want to see you until
you're an old man with a dozen grandchildren, or unless I get a
chance to visit."
Xander stood from his seat and hugged her
"Good bye Buffy, you'll always be my fantasy girl."
"Thanks Xander, for everything."
Xander pulled away the smile hiding the pain
"so are ya gonna strip, in my dreams you always end with a lap dance."
"Good bye Xander"
Buffy stood once again the sitting room. Giles sat in one of his arm
chairs and before she could enter his dream she noticed that he was
awake so she sat on the edge of his coffee table in front of him she
could see by the red rings around his eyes that he had been crying.
"Oh Giles."
As Buffy spoke Giles head snapped up and he looked around.
"Buffy?..... are you there?"
Buffy was amazed
"Giles you can hear me?"
"Yes I can ....... or I may be losing my mind....is it really you?"
"I came to say good bye."
"Must you go? There is so much I wanted to tell you, mostly that I'm
sorry I lost you ,that I failed you."
Buffy cried.
"Giles you have been more of a Father to me in the last five Years
than my own, and I love you. I chose my destiny and did what was
right. Like it says in my job description."
"Yes Buffy you did what was right and for that I'm very proud."
"No Giles I'm proud of you and of my friends and my sister, I've said
good bye to Willow and Xander, they need your help getting through
this as well. I already said good bye to Dawn, she needs to move on,
look after her,and yourself"
"I will Buffy."
"Good bye, I love you Giles"
"I love you too."
Buffy met her Mother at the front door and Joyce spoke in a whisper.
"All done?"
They both walked into the room Dawn was occupying
"Yes I am, I hate leaving them, and if I can find a loophole to this
dying thing I'll be back."
Joyce and her daughter gazed down at the sleeping teenager and they
both faded away.
