Disclaimer: Everyone but Jessie belongs to the late great Jonathan Larson
AN: Chapter 2! After many months hehe ( I don't know yet if I like it but enjoy! R/R!!
Mark drops the phone and drops to his knees
"I love him, I hate him, I love him, I hate him" He falls asleep still saying his words over and over again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Roger stares at the phone for what seems like hours to him
"Fuck"
He picks up the phone and stares at it for a few more seconds. Without warning he rips it from the socket and throws it against the wall so it falls into a few too many pieces. From the bathroom comes Jessie.
"Roger, what the hell-"
"If he doesn't want me around that's just fine! Fuck him and fuck New York! The whole time I've been here all I've done is worry out of my fuckin mind if he's "surviving" well fuck that too! I'm not doing it anymore. I don't need him I don't need any of this shit." He keeps repeating himself, getting more and more angry. He finally stops when he notices Jessie just staring at him. "What?!" She walks over and grabs his shoulders, staring at him with all the sympathy she can have left for him.
"Don't you get it Roger? That's the point!" He stares at her blankly. She throws her hands up in frustration. "You're here worrying about him. I hate to tell you buddy but worrying from here means jack shit. Sure, the thought's nice but you can't do anything! Go home, Roger! Worry about him there. Worry about him where it's going to mean something, where if something is too happen you can be there with him to stop it."
"No, forget it Jessie, I am NOT going back there! Not with the way he's acting!"
She just glares at him
"What?!!? Don't look at me like that!"
"Roger Davis, you better watch out, I may just put you in the corner"
Roger gives her a "what the hell are you talking about look"
"Listen to yourself babe, you're acting as though you're in 5th grade." He mocks him "I'm not going back wah wah wah" She goes back to yelling at him "Grow up Roger, go back and be with your best friend you friggan jackass. Stop mooching off of me! Go home to HIM!"
"He doesn't need me!" Roger falls back onto the couch and puts his hands over his face. He sits like this for a moment until he feels the couch next to him move as Jessie sits down. He doesn't move rather talks right through his hands.
"He said he didn't need me. He SAID it. I need him; I need him so badly Jessie. I need him more than I need to breathe."
"Then go to him. Get out of my house and go to him. He needs you too Roger, you know he does. If you didn't believe that you wouldn't worry about him as much as you do."
"He doesn't need me. No one needs me. "I gotta go."
"Roger wait-"
He grabs his coat and is out the front door before she can stop him.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Marky? Marky! Marky, wake up!"
Mark slowly starts to move. He opens one eye to find himself face to face with Maureen and Collins.
"Hey Mark, are you okay?"
"Wha- oh yeah I'm okay." He remembers that he's sleeping on the kitchen floor and quickly tries to think up an answer to the questioning look on his friends face. He gets up like it's no big deal, still slowly. "I think waking up on the kitchen floor is one symptom of a starving artist overworking on a film."
He decides not to tell them about Roger. He thinks it better for his plan. He goes into "Mark" mode. Happy go lucky here to help boy. Collins holds out his hand to help Mark up.
"You and that film. It'll be the end of you yet."
'That position is already filled' Mark thinks grimly.
He laughs. "You're tellin me."
"Was your bed really that far of a walk babe?" Maureen, always one to press.
"It's not like my mattress is any softer so I figured what the hell."
At this Collins laughs. "Amen to that. Anyway, we were about to go for dinner at the life. Would you like to come with us?"
"It's dinner time already?" He glances at the clock in the kitchen. "Holy shit" 7 o'clock. Not much time. 'Excuse, excuse..' "I'd love to guys but I really had my heart set on finishing my film tonight. It's almost done."
"Oh come on pookie!" Maureen whines. " You can take shots on the way to the life! You have to come!"
"Maureen, I have lived 5 minutes from the life café for 4 years now. I think I have enough footage of from here to there. Seriously, you guys go ahead."
Collins looks at him suspiciously but gives in "okay, do you want us to bring you anything?"
Mark pretends to look around the kitchen.
"Ummm, nope I have tea here." He puts on a smile. "Thanks anyway guys, you have fun." He is practically pushing them out of the loft. As soon as they leave he shuts and locks the door. He goes over to the sink and from the cabinet underneath, pulls out a bottle of vodka. He looks at it. 'Brand new, good'
He then goes to the bathroom and opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out his newly filled prescription anti-depressants.
"They really shouldn't give high dosages of drugs to depressed people, you never know what they're going to do with it."
He walks into Rogers room. Looking around, he takes in everything. Every dirty piece of clothing on the floor, every empty beer bottle, the random guitar pics and especially the scent. The scent of Roger that still lurks around in his room. He gets on his knees and starts feeling under Rogers bed for his guitar. After a few minutes he finds it and pulls it out from under the bed. Staring at it for a few minutes he knows he's doing the right thing. He lies on Rogers bed with his arms around Rogers guitar as though it is actually Roger. He opens the bottle of vodka and places it on the floor. Next he opens the bottle of medication. He pours some into his hand and stares at it. With his opposite hand he takes one of the pills and washes it down with vodka. He reaches for another and washes that down also with vodka. One by one he does this. One sip, one pill. One sip, one pill…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A phone rings
"You've reached Jessie. Sorry I'm not home but leave me a kick ass message and I'll think about calling you back. Bye!"
BEEP
"Jess, it's Roge. I'm going home."
AN: Chapter 2! After many months hehe ( I don't know yet if I like it but enjoy! R/R!!
Mark drops the phone and drops to his knees
"I love him, I hate him, I love him, I hate him" He falls asleep still saying his words over and over again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Roger stares at the phone for what seems like hours to him
"Fuck"
He picks up the phone and stares at it for a few more seconds. Without warning he rips it from the socket and throws it against the wall so it falls into a few too many pieces. From the bathroom comes Jessie.
"Roger, what the hell-"
"If he doesn't want me around that's just fine! Fuck him and fuck New York! The whole time I've been here all I've done is worry out of my fuckin mind if he's "surviving" well fuck that too! I'm not doing it anymore. I don't need him I don't need any of this shit." He keeps repeating himself, getting more and more angry. He finally stops when he notices Jessie just staring at him. "What?!" She walks over and grabs his shoulders, staring at him with all the sympathy she can have left for him.
"Don't you get it Roger? That's the point!" He stares at her blankly. She throws her hands up in frustration. "You're here worrying about him. I hate to tell you buddy but worrying from here means jack shit. Sure, the thought's nice but you can't do anything! Go home, Roger! Worry about him there. Worry about him where it's going to mean something, where if something is too happen you can be there with him to stop it."
"No, forget it Jessie, I am NOT going back there! Not with the way he's acting!"
She just glares at him
"What?!!? Don't look at me like that!"
"Roger Davis, you better watch out, I may just put you in the corner"
Roger gives her a "what the hell are you talking about look"
"Listen to yourself babe, you're acting as though you're in 5th grade." He mocks him "I'm not going back wah wah wah" She goes back to yelling at him "Grow up Roger, go back and be with your best friend you friggan jackass. Stop mooching off of me! Go home to HIM!"
"He doesn't need me!" Roger falls back onto the couch and puts his hands over his face. He sits like this for a moment until he feels the couch next to him move as Jessie sits down. He doesn't move rather talks right through his hands.
"He said he didn't need me. He SAID it. I need him; I need him so badly Jessie. I need him more than I need to breathe."
"Then go to him. Get out of my house and go to him. He needs you too Roger, you know he does. If you didn't believe that you wouldn't worry about him as much as you do."
"He doesn't need me. No one needs me. "I gotta go."
"Roger wait-"
He grabs his coat and is out the front door before she can stop him.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Marky? Marky! Marky, wake up!"
Mark slowly starts to move. He opens one eye to find himself face to face with Maureen and Collins.
"Hey Mark, are you okay?"
"Wha- oh yeah I'm okay." He remembers that he's sleeping on the kitchen floor and quickly tries to think up an answer to the questioning look on his friends face. He gets up like it's no big deal, still slowly. "I think waking up on the kitchen floor is one symptom of a starving artist overworking on a film."
He decides not to tell them about Roger. He thinks it better for his plan. He goes into "Mark" mode. Happy go lucky here to help boy. Collins holds out his hand to help Mark up.
"You and that film. It'll be the end of you yet."
'That position is already filled' Mark thinks grimly.
He laughs. "You're tellin me."
"Was your bed really that far of a walk babe?" Maureen, always one to press.
"It's not like my mattress is any softer so I figured what the hell."
At this Collins laughs. "Amen to that. Anyway, we were about to go for dinner at the life. Would you like to come with us?"
"It's dinner time already?" He glances at the clock in the kitchen. "Holy shit" 7 o'clock. Not much time. 'Excuse, excuse..' "I'd love to guys but I really had my heart set on finishing my film tonight. It's almost done."
"Oh come on pookie!" Maureen whines. " You can take shots on the way to the life! You have to come!"
"Maureen, I have lived 5 minutes from the life café for 4 years now. I think I have enough footage of from here to there. Seriously, you guys go ahead."
Collins looks at him suspiciously but gives in "okay, do you want us to bring you anything?"
Mark pretends to look around the kitchen.
"Ummm, nope I have tea here." He puts on a smile. "Thanks anyway guys, you have fun." He is practically pushing them out of the loft. As soon as they leave he shuts and locks the door. He goes over to the sink and from the cabinet underneath, pulls out a bottle of vodka. He looks at it. 'Brand new, good'
He then goes to the bathroom and opens the medicine cabinet and pulls out his newly filled prescription anti-depressants.
"They really shouldn't give high dosages of drugs to depressed people, you never know what they're going to do with it."
He walks into Rogers room. Looking around, he takes in everything. Every dirty piece of clothing on the floor, every empty beer bottle, the random guitar pics and especially the scent. The scent of Roger that still lurks around in his room. He gets on his knees and starts feeling under Rogers bed for his guitar. After a few minutes he finds it and pulls it out from under the bed. Staring at it for a few minutes he knows he's doing the right thing. He lies on Rogers bed with his arms around Rogers guitar as though it is actually Roger. He opens the bottle of vodka and places it on the floor. Next he opens the bottle of medication. He pours some into his hand and stares at it. With his opposite hand he takes one of the pills and washes it down with vodka. He reaches for another and washes that down also with vodka. One by one he does this. One sip, one pill. One sip, one pill…
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A phone rings
"You've reached Jessie. Sorry I'm not home but leave me a kick ass message and I'll think about calling you back. Bye!"
BEEP
"Jess, it's Roge. I'm going home."
