*****
"When we lose a friend, we lose more than that, we lose a part of
ourselves. A part of our own past. But sometimes we also find something
new – a deeper appreciation of the friends that remain and of the bonds
only time can forge." Derek's Legacy Journal entry in "Someone to Watch
Over Me."
*****

Slayer Watchers Journal
1997

Of all the battles we have raged since Buffy first came to Sunnydale,
this one, was the greatest we could ever wage. Not with the Demons or
the vampires.. but with ourselves. We lost a friend this night, a dear
sweet girl called Willow. And we hold the guilt and shame of that moment
with us for always.

It was unmarked, in any journal, the way she died... only this true
testament to rewriting history. The most common way to become a vampire,
is to be bitten and drink, of your own free will, the blood of the
vampire. There have, of course, been other ways that have been
documented, but none substantiated past the locked chronicles of the
Rom. In one such ancient bound text, it is given that two such kindred
spirits were brother and sister, taken by a vampire. One the vampire
primogen made immortal, but the other he didnot. When the brother awoke,
he was devastated. Taking his first kill, he fed her by slashing a vein
on himself, then her, and placed the wounds together. His vampire blood
mixed with what was left in her veins and she was awakened. A bonding
ritual between children, called the 'blood oath' is still practiced
today, but not in the breathtaking horror it occurred.

As planned, the newly restored Angel drained the infected blood from
Willows body - leaving it a pure chalice for the blood that awaited her
at the School clinic. When he had fed, his strength would allow him to
take both Willow and Amy, quickly to the laboratory and transfuse as
soon as possible. We would follow and Amy would set things up for the
spell. I did not plan for what came after - none of us saw past Willows
recuperation.

Perhaps that was my mistake. I know, in some ways, Buffy and the others
place a greater part of that blame on my shoulders.. No more than I
deserve. Regardless of what brought us here, or what consequences came
after - I alone had control and chose the path that lead us to this.

The first confrontation was apocalyptic. Willow was awakening on our
arrival, the transfusion had been successful. Relief on her recovery,
suddenly turned to fear as her smooth English porcelain skin became that
of a monster vampire emerging. Amy had the spell with her, but through
the ensuing chaos of keeping Willow there in the Library, the book was
kicked like a football across the room beneath the large stacks. If not
for Angel, we could not have possibly restrained her enough to allow Amy
to contend with a spell that no longer worked. For days we kept her
chained in the sewers in the day, and at night in the cage in the
library to help find the spell that would work. Amy thought that she was
some place that could not be reached.. a possible bond that was equal
and just as strong, if not stronger than the one she now shared with
Angel. By chance, Amy thought the sword used in the first spell was
needed to bring back the soul of Willow. Thank the heavens, she was
right! But in doing so, she was still a vampire and had to feed from
Angel.

Our Willow returned to us, and in that moment - was lost. Relief,
finally gave way to a mixture of grief and anger. In banishing her, we
had banished the light.

We wait for the darkness to pass.
Giles, former watcher.

Sunnydale High School Library
10pm, Friday night.

Two years later.

The watcher's dark eyes studied Buffy, remembering and trying to forget.
"She wants to see you."

Buffy laughed bitterly. "Yeh? Well, I got nothin' to say to her."

"She's been gone a year, on her own and no one to be with." Cordelias
voice carried to her from one of the empty tables. "You remember what
that was like? To be so alone? Are you so sure you got nothing to say?"

"I'm not sure of anything, anymore." Buffy sighed heavily, struggling
with the vast changes since that fateful night. "But just because you
all forgave her, doesn't mean I will too, because Angel brought her
back." Buffy turned, seeking her only support on this, who was being
uncharacteristically quiet. "Xander? Back me up... would you forgive
Angel?"

Cordelia scowled in his direction and he made a face in protest. "Hell
no!," he defiantly affirmed, then his expression changed slightly. "But
this is Willow we're talking about.."

"Willow the vampire disciple." She corrected vehemently. "Guess who we
have to thank for that?"

"To be fair, Angel saved her life that night..." Amy began, perched on
the table beside the rest. "It was just a bad chance that her blood and
his were assimilated through his tears."

"Why does everyone find it so essential to remind me of that?" Buffy
growled, coming down off the steps and grabbing her coat making her way
out toward the doors "Or did you conveniently forget that he was also
the reason why she is the enemy now?"

"Is that what I am now, Buffy?" A voice, so sweet in memory as it was
now, reached out to the Slayer and tore her heart open. She turned to
see her standing there. "Am I now an Enemy?"

Giles waved off any further comment to the group, a signal that they
would go. As Amy, Xander, Cordelia and Giles they filed out, Giles
placed a comforting hand on Buffys shoulder, and smiled gently in
Willows direction before disappearing into the hall ways.

A shudder passed through her like the claws of a nocturnal ghost. Buffy
stilled her vampire instincts to hunt, at that moment, and stood
immobile unable to distinguish anything but the figure slowly moving in
the hallway. She waited and hoped, feared and hated the moment that had
long been overdue. She wanted to rein down blow after crushing blow on
Angels chest for what he did, for what *she* did.

Buffy sighed deeply, allowing the figure to approach without qualm or
fear. Buffy spoke the name as if it would alight her from the misery she
had been in ever since. With revelation, her name touched Buffys lips
for the first time in almost two years.

"Willow?"

****
The Legacy castle
Angel Island, San Francisco.

Derek stood against the huge leaded windows of his office, & observed with
increasing forboding as his Security officer, Nick Boyle and the newest
'unofficial' member of The Legacy, Kendra, worked religiously on their
own personalized routines of Tai Chi, in the lower Italian gardens of
The Legacy mansion enclosure. An awful Deja Vu feeling crossed across
his heart, as though parts of an icy jigsaw were now sliding firmly into
place.

A gentle hand on his shoulder, brought him from his dark thoughts.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Rachel smiled her own admiration of the
teenager clearly visible. Even after a short time, he could see the
connection between Rachel's maternal instinct to protect the "girl"
Kendra still remained inside, in the body of Kendra - the woman. In
saying that, he was mildly surprised that Kendra's quiet and childlike
innocence brought out the paternal note in him also. The fact that she
had, unintentionally, a kittenish-pout when perplexed was a key point.
Her maturity that only came from deep loss, and the feeling she was
somehow kindred orphan also drew him to her. Her physical fitness was
still terribly fragile from starving herself for so long, but as she
filled out, her health and well-being rewarded her to her former glory.
Her hair had grown back, just kiss curls at the moment, but enough to
keep them slicked back looking like a 1920s Jamaican femme fatale. "Now
if we can just stop Nick from having a detrimental influence on her, she
won't get us on the FBI's most wanted again." he grinned.

"More like her detrimental influence on him!" Alex grumbled, a tinge of
jealously hinting at the deeper truth there. After a few moments, Alex
Moreau, turned to face her two friends, witnessing a cryptic glance
between them. "What?"

Derek merely raised his eyebrow, and settled in for the meeting,
wavering her question. "So, without Nick for a while, and of course
Philip for obvious reasons. call this an impromptu poll. Do we have room
for another Legacy member within the ranks?"

***

The meeting was useful, and Derek dismissed them until all the team
could be gathered. Taking the coffee placed on the corner of the large
polished desk by the Butler, he turned his attention towards the still
ambitious two working out on the lawn.

He briefly noticed Nick had stopped his training, and now watched her
intrigued from the stone bench. Derek groaned, he didn't need to be
Psychic to see where this was heading. Women of mystery, and Miss 'only
known as' Kendra, was certainly one of them, was every mans downfall...
as he and Nick had been all to well aware of before.

Shaking his head ruefully, he summoned the memory of Alex's scowl at
Nicks sudden preoccupation with the new recruit. Even though he loved
Alex like a daughter, he knew that any relationship but platonic in the
Legacy was forbidden regardless of the circumstances. In Alex and Nicks
case, it was a combination. Whether it was the bond they shared
because of Alex chose Nick to feed on, when she was temporarily turned
into a vampire or the intellectual and emotional one they shared as the
youngest members (besides kat) of the Legacy - he couldn't be sure.
Fighting the need to play Devils advocate and see what he could force
the normal unruffled Alex into doing. Chuckling, he picked up the phone
and dialed.

***

Sunnydale High
Willow Rosenberg stood on the threshold, her long hair kept braided
tightly to her head, her frame lankier than usual. She had lost weight
and her posture was like she had both aged 20 years and become more
beautifully languid at the same time. Willow didn't feel it. It felt so
strange to be so wary in the place you always took strength from. Buffy
called her name, and it was like a physical slap across the face. She
could do nothing but nod, and not look towards the blond whom she loved
more than life.

Buffy waited for her to enter. When she made no move, she finally
realized why - and it wounded her more than any toll, she would have to
pay for being the Slayer.

"You are invited in, Willow." She croaked huskily, trying to get the
words past the lump in her throat. She watched her push past the barrier
into the room and wearily come forward.

She didn't mean to begin the peace talks with a catalyst, but it just
seemed to be that way. "Angel..."

Buffys' throat tightened convulsively, she held her hand up, making her
stop. "Don't mention his name here - not today."

"We need to talk about this...."

Buffy sneered resentful. "Yeh, well... you didn't seem too, when
you were restoring *him*."

"We already went over this...." Willow replied much sharper than she
intended it to sound. "Can we just *talk*..."

Buffy suddenly felt trapped. "I wish I could," she said half-heartedly,
"but I'm on my way out... you know, HUNTING vampires and stuff?" She
made certain to glare at the redhead before taking off in the direction
of the nearest cemetery. After a few steps down the corridor, she
regretted her hasty words. She was about to turn back, when she felt a
figure move behind her.

... "Buffy, please wait. I want to apologize for what I did." Buffy
stood her ground, her back facing one of the best friends she ever had
in this whole world. Willow came to stand in front of her.

"Willow, where does your loyalties lie now? Because if it is to *him*,
then we have nothing more to say to each other." A stricken look crossed
the hackers face.

"Where it has always been," she replied quietly. "With you and the
slayerettes including Angel..." Buffys' eyes narrowed in a disbelieving
stare, then took off again.

"Nice emotional head kick in, Willow" She hissed, throwing her weight
against the glass doors leading into the quad. "Consider it a get well
gift, because you'll not get another one, Red." Buffy shot back as the
glass shattered and she ran into the approaching darkness, no longer
caring if she was hunting or being hunted. She just wanted the pain of
loosing those she loved, to stop.

Willow flowed after her, indignation taking her quickly towards the
retreating blond. With an almighty crash, Willow rammed Buffy in the
back and she hit a headstone with the full force of a vampire bad mood.
Buffy flipped back, twisting her bones to snap back into place without
pain or breakage. The best thing about being a slayer was the power of
being nimble and resilient. She no longer saw her best friend, not a
vampire either - just some creature maddeningly between both. "You wanna
learn what it is to fight with me on the other side, Willow?" She
hissed, gathering her wits about her. "Bring it on!" With that she
launched herself at the redhead and took her to the ground in a howling
miasma of betrayal, given appalling utterance.

***
End of 5