THE INVADING IDIOTS!

Written by: John
Date: january 16-18 2002
Overview: Watch how an army of idiots tries to take over Flowerbud village!
RATED: PG-13 MILD LANGUAGE AND OTHER CONTENT

General: We need to take the town of Flowerbud!
Man: Why? Their a small farming town.
General: I dont know why, just assemnble your best soldiers.
Man: (Starts to walk away) Looks like i picked the wrong week to stop sniffing.

Later.

Man: Okay i need my three best soldiers to attack flowerbud village undetected.
Colonel: Excuse me.
Man: What is it.
Colonel: Do we even have weapons.
Man: No. Didnt you hear about the generals money saving plan?
Colonel: Oh yeah.
Man: My finest three are you 3 over there.
(Chef the sprite, Chris a soldier and Billy another soldier turn around)
All: Us?
Man: You heard me, good luck have fun and dont kill any cows you hear?
All: Yes sir.

Chef, Bill and Chris walk into the sunset as they go on their top secret mission. During the night they make a camp and rest for the night.

Bill: Hey chef?
Chef: What?
Bill: What country are we fighting for?
Chef: I dont know i assumed you knew.
Bill: Hey Chris?
Chris: What?
Bill: Where did we come from?
Chris: I dont know.
Chef: Hey Billy.
Bill: what?
Chef: when did we join the army.
Bill: I assumed a little while ago.
Chef: Yeah me too.
Chef: We should get going.
Chris: Why? It's night time dummy.
Chef: We have the protection of darkness and the guidance of the stars to lead us to Flowerbud.
Bill: But isnt that Flowerbud in the distance?
Chef: Shut up! (hits him)
Chris: It could be dangerous.....
Chris: You go first (pushes Billy to move forward)
Bill: Cowards! I will lead the army into the town!
Chef: Hell yeah!
(They begin to run forward and Billy stops)
Chef: What are you waiting for?
Bill: where is the town again?
Chef: It's right in front of you jackass.
Bill: Oh yeah.
(They walk forward again and then Billy stops again)
Chef: What now?
Bill: Do we have a plan?
Chef: I assumed the colonel put on in with our mission orders.
Chris: Oh yeahhh...
(they all look around, back and forth looking all over)
Bill: Hey chef?
Chef: Yeah.
Bill: Did we even bring bags?
Chef: I assumed we did.
Bill: Well i dont see any here.
Chris: I guess we didnt.
Chef: Is it possible that we have to go on a spy mission to take over flowerbud?
Bill: I think it's very possible.

Chris: So, what are we going to do?
Bill: We go in on a spy mission jackass.
Chef: Very quietly and use our stealth.
Chris: Stealth?
Chef: Yeah it's some kind of soup.
Bill: Ready!
Bill: CHARGE!!!!!!
Chef: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Chris: WOOOHOOOOO!!!!!

In the town.....

Mayor: What the hell is that noise?
Mayor: Dont they know it's early in the morning?
(Calls someone on the phone)
Mayor: Harris you there?
Harris: Yes mayor.
Mayor: Close the town gatehouse.
Harris: yes sir.

Back to the others.....

Chef: Run in!!!!!
(they all slam against the door and fall back)
Bill: Funny...
Chris: When did that get there?
Chef: How did they know we were comming?
Bill: Maybe their invisible!
Chris: Maybe they quickly built this door while we were comming to attack!
Chef: Maybe they just shut it a second ago jackass.
Bill: Nice logic.
Chef: It's not logic, it's common sense.
Bill: Whats that?
Chef: Some kind of science term.
Bill: I see.
Chris: Now what?

All 3 of them look up at the large gatehouse with no wall going around the city.

Chef: Hey guys?
Bill: What?
Chef: Since there is only a large door, couldnt we just walk around it because there is no wall?
Chris: NO!!!
Chris: It's probably full of traps.
Bill: Yeah he's right.
Chef: What should we do?
Bill: Let's siege the town!
Chef: What's a seige?
Chris: I think it's some kind of bread company.
Bill: I dont know what it is, i hoped you knew.
Chris: Hey chef?
Chef: What now?
Chris: What country are we fighting for?
Chef: You already asked me that.
Chef: We are fighting for Nigeria idiot!
Bill: No we are fighting for Iowa!
Chris: I always wanted to visit montana.
Chef: Shut up you idiot, does it really matter right now?
Bill: It's very important.
Bill: When we win the battle we need to claim the town for someone.
Chef: Well is it Nigeria or Iowa?
Bill: Neither!
Chef: What the hell are you talking about?
Bill: I remember we came from Greenland, because my favorite color is green!
Chef: Yeah i like green too.
Chris: Yeah me too!
Bill: That settles it we come from greenland!
Chris: Now thats done what are we going to do?
Bill: We are going to sneak in a large wooden mammal!
Chef: Really?
Bill: Yeah, havent you heard of the trojan weasel?
Chef: It was the trojan panda jackass.
Bill: Oh yeah.

Chris: Hey guys?
Bill: What?
Chris: I dont think we came from Greenland.
Chef: Why the hell not?
Chris: We dont have an Italian accent.
Bill: Maybe we immigrated there.
Chris: Like whales and birds?
Chef: Thats migrated jackass.
Chris: okay.

Chef: I HAVE AN IDEA!!!
Bill: What is it?
(they all get excited)
Chef: We smoke them out!
Chris: Smoke them out?
Bill: Thats brilliant!
(Chef and the others pick up pipes and start smoking crack and the whole town is all fogged up)

Chef: Look it's working!
Bill: I claim this land for New Jersey!!!
Chris: YEAH!!

From that day on, the town celebrated Spring 6th in honor of the 3 brave, 'intellegent' soldiers who came to conquer the town. And also from that day forward Flowerbud was part of New Jersey.