A/N: I'm still sick with the flu, yea! So the warning of current state of
delirium still stands. ( Also, if this is crummy, I wrote it really late
at night because I couldn't sleep.
Disclaimer: Gosh DJE is hot! Well anyway. I don't own any of the JAG characters or JAG itself. If you did not know this then I pity you.
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Exactly 1 Week and 1 day later
0800
Mac's Office
Mac sat at her desk with her face laying flat on an open folder and her arms stretched out in front of her. The doctor was supposed to call her yesterday and she was trying her best to wait patiently. The past week had gone by terribly slow, and the fact that she didn't know exactly when they were going to call with her results didn't help.
"Hey ma'am, how are you holding up?" Harriet sat down on a chair in Mac's office. She was concerned with her friend's wellbeing. Over the past week she had noticed that Mac had more nosebleeds and headaches. Also, that she had secluded herself more than usual, and remained mostly in her office.
Mac didn't move her head from its spot on the folder. "Yeah.I'm great!" She had said that a little sarcastically, but not with intention.
"Are you sure ma'am? You don't look to great, and you're talking to your desk." Harriet smiled at her weak friend.
Mac chuckled at her friend's comment and picked up her tired head. There were bags under her eyelids and her face remained pale. She squinted as she focused on Harriet. "I'm fine."
"Do you want to talk about it Mac?" Harriet knew that Mac didn't want to talk about i.e. She had been secluding herself, but she needs to talk about it.
* She didn't call me ma'am, she must really be worried * Mac thought to herself. She paused for a moment to debate whether or not she wanted to talk to her friend and thought what the hay. "I'm just worried is all.I mean, what if I do have Cancer and I have to get surgery.or I die?" Mac whispered the last part and continued. "I hate hospitals and doctors to begin with, and I especially don't want to be spending the rest of my life with them!"
Harriet looked sympathetically at her friend. "Honey, you just have to think positively. Even if you do have Cancer and have to get surgery, it doesn't mean you're going to die, or suffer. You are a very strong woman. I know you better than anybody and I also know that you WILL get through this!" She reached across the desk and gave her best friend a hug.
"I know Harriet. You're such a good friend.oh I love you!" They hugged again and Mac handed Harriet a tissue. Right then Bud came through the door.
"You women are so mushy!"
Harriet smiled at Bud. "Watch it or you'll end up on the couch tonight!" She laughed.
Bud looked at Mac with a look of fear and then he took Harriet by the arm and left.
Mac closed the door to her office and sat back down at her desk. As soon as she had gotten comfortable the phone rang. "Hello."
"Hello, Colonel Mackenzie? *Pause* This is Dr. Phillips, your results came back from the lab and I have them with me."
Mac sighed nervously and shook her head. "OK then, lets hear it."
"Well.I regret to inform you that the tumor we found has tested positive and proven to be cancerous. You have Cancer." He paused every so often thinking of how he should put it, and waiting to hear a reaction of any kind from Mac.
Mac didn't know how to react so she just said all right.
"But don't loose hope Sarah, there are a lot of cases in which people overcome their Cancer. I'm sure you'll be one of them."
Mac was still shocked so she simply replied, "yeah."
"Now, I think you should come in so we can talk about surgery. We will need to do this as soon as possible, the sooner you have the surgery the better. We don't want the Cancer to spread. You are very lucky that we caught this early on.
After the doctor had said farewell Mac softly placed the phone on the receiver. She had an appointment for the following afternoon and had to talk to the admiral. Since the admiral had called both Harm and herself in to talk about the case they were working on, she figured this was as good of time as any.
Harm had just finished telling the admiral about an interview he had with a possible suspect in their case when Mac decided to start. "Sir, I need tomorrow afternoon off. I have to go to an appointment."
A.J. looked at her with worry obvious in his eyes. "If I may ask, what kind of an appointment?
"I need to discuss with my doctor the surgery I will be getting." Harm looked at her painfully, he didn't think it was that bad. The admiral was just as surprised. She continued. "It turns out that the tumor in my sinus cavity tested positive. I have cancer and I need it removed before it can spread."
Harm closed his eyes tightly and put his head in his hands. * I don't think I can handle this. God this just isn't fair! * He wanted to scream.
The admiral just looked at her with shocked eyes. For the first time in a long time he just felt like breaking down and crying. He broke the silence. "Take off the whole day and rest. Dismissed!"
"Aye aye, sir!" Mac hurried up and left. That was harder than she had anticipated. The silence nearly killed her she was glad she got it over with though. * It's not over yet; I still get to tell all of my other friends, Uncle Matt, and Chloe. * Great how was she going to make Chloe understand? * She is so young and innocent; I don't want her to loose her sister. Just remember what Harriet said, I can fight it, I'm strong, I'm a marine! *
Harm had stayed in the Admiral's office, silent, too shocked to move. He was thinking about all of the times he had shared with Mac and how much he loves her when his CO's voice cut through.
"I said dismissed, is there something you want?" He asked angrily.
"No sir, aye aye sir." Harm stood up and left.
The admiral sat down hard in his big chair and started to fidget with a pencil. He couldn't believe this was happening, not to her. She is just so.so.she's Mac! She can't have cancer, she's Mac! He clenched the pencil in his palm tightly and it snapped into two pieces.
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The Next Day
1330
Falls Church Medical Center
Mac sat in a small, secluded office waiting for the doctor to come in. It wasn't a normal doctor's office; it had a set of large comfortable chairs for patients and their families to sit in, and a large desk with a chair to match for the doctor. Mac picked up a small wooden frame off the desk and looked at it. It was a picture of a young couple with their little baby girl about three years of age. Mac began to think * what if I'm never able to have this? * A single tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away. She set the frame back down on the desk and the doctor came in and shook her hand.
"Hi Ms. Mackenzie, how are you feeling? Is the medicine working for the headaches?"
Mac looked at the doctor and put on a fake smile. She wanted to ask him, "How do you think I am I just recently found out that I have cancer and need surgery," but thought better about it.
"I'm still getting pretty bad headaches and I've been getting a lot of nosebleeds recently."
"Well that's to be expected until you have the procedure to remove the tumor. By the way we need to discuss when you can have the surgery. We have a doctor that's able to do the surgery available in 4 days if that is ok with you." It was more of a question rather than a comment.
"Ok, that's fine." Mac really didn't care; she just wanted this all to be over with.
"You're very lucky, most people have to wait months before we can have a doctor available. This doctor was already scheduled to perform the same operation on a young girl, but he is available now."
Mac was confused, "What happened to the young girl?"
"Oh she passed away two nights ago. But don't worry, we didn't find her cancer as early as we found yours; her cancer had already spread throughout her body." The doctor smiled sadly thinking back on his patient who recently passed. "It's a shame, she was so young, only 13 years old. Well, I'll send you all the information on the surgery and you get plenty of rest and I'll see you soon." He stood up opened the door for Mac and watched her leave.
Mac was now more scared than ever! Someone who had the same type of cancer as her just died from it. But that doesn't have to be her fate, that girl was young and fragile. Mac is tough and mature. * What am I thinking? Everything will be just fine. * She drove home and went straight to bed.
Disclaimer: Gosh DJE is hot! Well anyway. I don't own any of the JAG characters or JAG itself. If you did not know this then I pity you.
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Exactly 1 Week and 1 day later
0800
Mac's Office
Mac sat at her desk with her face laying flat on an open folder and her arms stretched out in front of her. The doctor was supposed to call her yesterday and she was trying her best to wait patiently. The past week had gone by terribly slow, and the fact that she didn't know exactly when they were going to call with her results didn't help.
"Hey ma'am, how are you holding up?" Harriet sat down on a chair in Mac's office. She was concerned with her friend's wellbeing. Over the past week she had noticed that Mac had more nosebleeds and headaches. Also, that she had secluded herself more than usual, and remained mostly in her office.
Mac didn't move her head from its spot on the folder. "Yeah.I'm great!" She had said that a little sarcastically, but not with intention.
"Are you sure ma'am? You don't look to great, and you're talking to your desk." Harriet smiled at her weak friend.
Mac chuckled at her friend's comment and picked up her tired head. There were bags under her eyelids and her face remained pale. She squinted as she focused on Harriet. "I'm fine."
"Do you want to talk about it Mac?" Harriet knew that Mac didn't want to talk about i.e. She had been secluding herself, but she needs to talk about it.
* She didn't call me ma'am, she must really be worried * Mac thought to herself. She paused for a moment to debate whether or not she wanted to talk to her friend and thought what the hay. "I'm just worried is all.I mean, what if I do have Cancer and I have to get surgery.or I die?" Mac whispered the last part and continued. "I hate hospitals and doctors to begin with, and I especially don't want to be spending the rest of my life with them!"
Harriet looked sympathetically at her friend. "Honey, you just have to think positively. Even if you do have Cancer and have to get surgery, it doesn't mean you're going to die, or suffer. You are a very strong woman. I know you better than anybody and I also know that you WILL get through this!" She reached across the desk and gave her best friend a hug.
"I know Harriet. You're such a good friend.oh I love you!" They hugged again and Mac handed Harriet a tissue. Right then Bud came through the door.
"You women are so mushy!"
Harriet smiled at Bud. "Watch it or you'll end up on the couch tonight!" She laughed.
Bud looked at Mac with a look of fear and then he took Harriet by the arm and left.
Mac closed the door to her office and sat back down at her desk. As soon as she had gotten comfortable the phone rang. "Hello."
"Hello, Colonel Mackenzie? *Pause* This is Dr. Phillips, your results came back from the lab and I have them with me."
Mac sighed nervously and shook her head. "OK then, lets hear it."
"Well.I regret to inform you that the tumor we found has tested positive and proven to be cancerous. You have Cancer." He paused every so often thinking of how he should put it, and waiting to hear a reaction of any kind from Mac.
Mac didn't know how to react so she just said all right.
"But don't loose hope Sarah, there are a lot of cases in which people overcome their Cancer. I'm sure you'll be one of them."
Mac was still shocked so she simply replied, "yeah."
"Now, I think you should come in so we can talk about surgery. We will need to do this as soon as possible, the sooner you have the surgery the better. We don't want the Cancer to spread. You are very lucky that we caught this early on.
After the doctor had said farewell Mac softly placed the phone on the receiver. She had an appointment for the following afternoon and had to talk to the admiral. Since the admiral had called both Harm and herself in to talk about the case they were working on, she figured this was as good of time as any.
Harm had just finished telling the admiral about an interview he had with a possible suspect in their case when Mac decided to start. "Sir, I need tomorrow afternoon off. I have to go to an appointment."
A.J. looked at her with worry obvious in his eyes. "If I may ask, what kind of an appointment?
"I need to discuss with my doctor the surgery I will be getting." Harm looked at her painfully, he didn't think it was that bad. The admiral was just as surprised. She continued. "It turns out that the tumor in my sinus cavity tested positive. I have cancer and I need it removed before it can spread."
Harm closed his eyes tightly and put his head in his hands. * I don't think I can handle this. God this just isn't fair! * He wanted to scream.
The admiral just looked at her with shocked eyes. For the first time in a long time he just felt like breaking down and crying. He broke the silence. "Take off the whole day and rest. Dismissed!"
"Aye aye, sir!" Mac hurried up and left. That was harder than she had anticipated. The silence nearly killed her she was glad she got it over with though. * It's not over yet; I still get to tell all of my other friends, Uncle Matt, and Chloe. * Great how was she going to make Chloe understand? * She is so young and innocent; I don't want her to loose her sister. Just remember what Harriet said, I can fight it, I'm strong, I'm a marine! *
Harm had stayed in the Admiral's office, silent, too shocked to move. He was thinking about all of the times he had shared with Mac and how much he loves her when his CO's voice cut through.
"I said dismissed, is there something you want?" He asked angrily.
"No sir, aye aye sir." Harm stood up and left.
The admiral sat down hard in his big chair and started to fidget with a pencil. He couldn't believe this was happening, not to her. She is just so.so.she's Mac! She can't have cancer, she's Mac! He clenched the pencil in his palm tightly and it snapped into two pieces.
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The Next Day
1330
Falls Church Medical Center
Mac sat in a small, secluded office waiting for the doctor to come in. It wasn't a normal doctor's office; it had a set of large comfortable chairs for patients and their families to sit in, and a large desk with a chair to match for the doctor. Mac picked up a small wooden frame off the desk and looked at it. It was a picture of a young couple with their little baby girl about three years of age. Mac began to think * what if I'm never able to have this? * A single tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it away. She set the frame back down on the desk and the doctor came in and shook her hand.
"Hi Ms. Mackenzie, how are you feeling? Is the medicine working for the headaches?"
Mac looked at the doctor and put on a fake smile. She wanted to ask him, "How do you think I am I just recently found out that I have cancer and need surgery," but thought better about it.
"I'm still getting pretty bad headaches and I've been getting a lot of nosebleeds recently."
"Well that's to be expected until you have the procedure to remove the tumor. By the way we need to discuss when you can have the surgery. We have a doctor that's able to do the surgery available in 4 days if that is ok with you." It was more of a question rather than a comment.
"Ok, that's fine." Mac really didn't care; she just wanted this all to be over with.
"You're very lucky, most people have to wait months before we can have a doctor available. This doctor was already scheduled to perform the same operation on a young girl, but he is available now."
Mac was confused, "What happened to the young girl?"
"Oh she passed away two nights ago. But don't worry, we didn't find her cancer as early as we found yours; her cancer had already spread throughout her body." The doctor smiled sadly thinking back on his patient who recently passed. "It's a shame, she was so young, only 13 years old. Well, I'll send you all the information on the surgery and you get plenty of rest and I'll see you soon." He stood up opened the door for Mac and watched her leave.
Mac was now more scared than ever! Someone who had the same type of cancer as her just died from it. But that doesn't have to be her fate, that girl was young and fragile. Mac is tough and mature. * What am I thinking? Everything will be just fine. * She drove home and went straight to bed.
