ReVisions Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne. I do, however, own the twisted little plot, and any characters I have created. Basically, if you don't recognize them, they're probably mine. In this chapter, I own Kenji, and no one else, I think.

Re-Visions

Chapter 4

Nothing was important . . . nothing at all. Hitomi stared straight ahead. She heard people around her, but they were meaningless. She felt her muscles tense, ready to take the leap . . .

BANG!

She sprang forward, coming off the blocks as fast as she could. 100 meters in front of her the track stretched, beckoning. She pumped her legs faster, faster, feeling the way her spikes dug into the track.

Halfway there. Her heartbeat was loud in her ears. She let herself think about the finish line. Now, and only now, was that important. He was there. She imagined him waiting for her, his wings stretched above him.

She stretched her legs to their utmost, as she pounded down her lane. The other runners were forgotten, as if they never existed. Eyes forward.

Almost there. A few more strides . . . She dipped forward a bit as she approached the finish line, then up again as she crossed it. She slowed to a jog, continuing up the track a few more paces. She took a couple of deep breaths, then turned back, to the coach and Yukari and the rest of the team. She hadn't been counting the seconds in her head, as she often did, but she knew it was her best time so far this season.

"Hitomi!" Yukari grabbed hold of her as she approached, and hugged her hard. "Hitomi, that was great! Look at your time!" Still holding onto her with one hand, Yukari showed her the stopwatch with the other. "You've shaved almost a full second off your best time from last year! Amano will be so proud of you when I tell him!" Now the other girls on the team were milling about her, and Hitomi felt her face flush from more than her exertion. She didn't want the adoration she saw on some of the younger girls' faces, nor the resentment she saw on the rest.

"Great job, Kanzaki!" the coach congratulated her, before turning to the other girls. "Did you all see how she came off the blocks? She hit her stride immediately and never overreached. I want you all to be able to do the same by the next meet!" A collective groan went up from the knot of girls. "None of that! All of you should be as dedicated as Kanzaki!"

Hitomi wanted to shrink into invisibility. She hated being put on the spot like this. She did the best she could, hiding behind Yukari, who didn't notice. The coach was giving her friend instructions, regarding the next practice.

As the cluster of girls broke up, Hitomi started to shiver. The air was cold, and the chill finally started to invade her muscles. She trotted back to her duffel bag, and pulled on her jacket and warm-up pants. They didn't help much, and she rubbed her arms, trying to chafe the warmth back.

Unconsciously, she raised her eyes to the purple sky. The sun was setting, casting strange shadows. As she had so many times, she wondered where Gaea stood in the sky. I suppose it doesn't really matter, she thought, closing her eyes, her face tilted toward the heavens. As long as we can reach each other . . . She let her mind reach out to him, smiling as she gently touched him. She often did this, following her link to him many times for no other reason than she wished to know he was all right.

As it sometimes happened, Van didn't know she was there. She knew he was in his room at the castle. The winter had been mild in Fanelia this year, but still cold. He sat in the empty window hole, the temporary shutter thrown open. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt and a cloak, but the chill still touched him. She shivered a little in sympathy. At least, she comforted herself, he wasn't sleeping here. Great fires had been lit in some of the empty halls- nearly everyone who did not yet have a home rebuilt slept there, kept warm.

He was staring up at the late afternoon sky, and Hitomi realized he was looking for the Earth- the Mystic Moon. He reached for her pendant, and she was rocked by the sudden wave of sadness he felt. Very faintly, she caught the edge of his thought. I miss you . . . Hitomi . . .

He missed her, as much as she missed him, it seemed. The few times they talked, she usually said that she missed him, her voice very soft, almost as if she didn't want him to know. He usually replied in kind, and she caught the inexplicable gratitude in him, that she spoke first.

Without a second thought, she began radiating reassurance to him. She wanted him to know he needn't feel so lonely . . .

"Hitomi?"

The voice behind her startled her and she jumped. It was gone, but not before she felt him smile. She turned.

"Yukari?"

Her friend was staring at her. "What were you doing, Hitomi?"

She shivered again and picked up her bag. "Nothing- just thinking."

Yukari grinned as they started walking. "Just thinking? About what, I wonder? Or whom?"

Hitomi felt her cheeks grow hot again. "What are you talking about?" she asked, eyes ahead.

"What do you mean, 'What am I talking about'? You know very well what I mean! Who were you thinking about? Seems to me it was a boy . . ." Yukari's grin got wider. It was always so much fun to tease Hitomi . . .

The corner of Hitomi's mouth twitched. "Well, maybe . . ."

Yukari stopped walking. "No! Who was it? What's he look like?" She was amazed that the shy girl next to her would actually admit anything of the kind.

Hitomi looked away, a few steps in front. She didn't want Yukari to see her grin. "He looks like . . . Well, he's tall and slim. He's got long, long legs, and his hair is cut to his shoulders. It's kind of a medium brown. He's got light brown eyes and an oval shaped face, with a little point to his chin . . ."

Yukari had been nodding throughout the other girl's description, but suddenly froze. "Hey, just a minute . . . what's his name?" she asked suspiciously.

Hitomi spun around and stuck her tongue out at her friend. "Amano!" She laughed at Yukari's disgusted expression. "Nyah! Well, you were teasing me, so it's only fair . . ."

She trailed off as the world went dark around her. Oh, no, she thought despairingly. Not this- not now! But the vision carried her away, despite her protests.

She stood at the window in her bedroom. The tree outside was in full leaf, but untouched by a breath of wind. The shadow of the tree was dark against the ground, against the house, against the floor in her room. Everything else was starkly white, wherever the light touched. Slowly, she turned from the window. It was her own room, bereft of everything hers. The desk stood bare and empty, the bed stripped, with the covers folded neatly in a pile. All of her pictures, her posters, her trinkets were gone. The open closet door showed that it, too, was empty. From far away, she heard the sound of weeping. As if walking through water, she made herself move toward the door. She touched the latch, and a million years later, the door started to open. As it swung wide, the weeping grew louder . . .

"Hitomi!"

She blinked, and realized she was laying face first on the ground. Her duffel bag had fallen next to her. Slowly, she pushed herself up on her arms, and her head throbbed at the movement. Her whole body ached, and her arms were quivering, even from this slight exertion. Before they abandoned her completely, she forced herself to her knees. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her arm, and looked up into Yukari's worried face. She helped Hitomi lean back until she was sitting with her back against the wall of a nearby school building.

"Hitomi, are you all right? What happened?"

Hitomi put one hand to her head. "I'm ok . . . I think."

"Kanzaki! Uchida!"

They turned at the sound of the voice calling out their names. Someone was running toward them. They could tell it was a young man, about their age, perhaps a little older. Yukari recognized him first. "Hey! Matsuda!" she called and waved to him.

He was running hard, but wasn't out of breath when he reached them. He knelt by Hitomi. "Kanzaki! What happened? I was across the way. I saw you talking to Uchida, and then you just fainted, it looked like."

Matsuda Kenji was in their grade, a new student whose parents had just moved to the area. He had joined the track team that spring, and it looked like he was going to take Amano's place as the boys' star. He was tall and lanky, and when he wasn't running, he seemed awkward, as if he wasn't quite sure what to do with his long arms and legs. When he was on the track, though, he was covered by an odd kind of grace. His hair was black, and he wore it fairly long, tied back into a neat ponytail. His eyes were a dark brown, and wide set over his high cheekbones. His nose was a bit pointed, but the rest of his face was more round. When she first saw him, Hitomi had been surprised by his slight resemblance to Amano. But it was obvious from the first that he and Amano were not at all alike. Where Amano was, on the whole, a kind, gentle person, not much given to temper, Kenji was dark, brooding, and prone to hitting inanimate objects when he didn't reach his goal or get his way.

Hitomi had started to avoid Kenji as much as possible since the beginning of the school year. She was a bit scared of him, but she couldn't say why. He'd never been anything other than polite to her.

Yukari answered Kenji's question. "She says she's fine, Matsuda. I don't know what happened. She was talking to me, and then her face went all blank and she fell. I couldn't catch her. Did you hurt anything, Hitomi?"

Hitomi could feel her face growing red, from the pair of them staring at her. "I said I was all right! Nothing feels broken. I just . . . felt weak, that's all." She looked away. She'd never told Yukari about her visions, and she certainly wasn't going to tell Matsuda. She couldn't even tell her mother . . . at least, not this particular one. From strange, it had become frightening. It seemed there wasn't a day she didn't have it- and it was always the same, except that each time, she was able to take that extra step. Today was the first time she'd been able to open the door.

Yukari, looking at her closely, asked Kenji, "Do you think it's anemia, or something like that?"

Kenji was studying Hitomi, also. "I think it might be. She's awfully thin, too, Uchida. I don't see how she can run like she does when she doesn't even eat."

Outraged, Hitomi spluttered, "I do eat!" Talking about me like I'm not even here, she thought angrily. Neither paid her any attention until she grabbed her duffel and started to stand. Kenji scrambled to his feet as she turned away.

"Hey, Kanzaki! Where are you going?"

"I'm going home," she replied coldly, not stopping. Her legs still felt a little unsteady and she held herself very straight, to keep from jarring her aching head. Suddenly, she felt herself lifted off her feet, and she squealed, almost dropping her bag again. Before she knew it, she was cradled in Kenji's arms. Over his shoulder, she caught a glimpse of Yukari's stunned expression. "What are you doing?" she demanded. "Put me down!"

"I should think it's obvious. I'm taking you to the nurse, to make sure you're all right." Kenji's voice was pleasant, but a bit confused at her tone. He didn't stop, however, and continued walking into the schoolyard. Hitomi squirmed in his grasp.

Yukari managed to shake off her amazement, and started after them. "Matsuda! Wait!"

He slowed a bit, but didn't stop, even though Hitomi was trying to get down. "What is it, Uchida?" The shadows were think in between the buildings, and when Hitomi looked up into his face, the dark mask over his features frightened her.

"The nurse goes home right after track practice has finished. She's been gone awhile. You can't take Hitomi to her now."

He stopped then. "I guess not. Are you sure you're all right?" he asked Hitomi again. His worry for her was evident in his tone.

Hitomi forced herself to be polite. "I'm fine, thank you. I do appreciate your concern, but would you please put me down now?" She knew her face was beet red. It felt so hot she didn't think a bucket of ice water would cool it.

Sighing, Kenji swung her down, and she landed lightly on her feet. He still kept his arms around her, and looked down into her face. She was grateful now for the shadows- they might hide her blush. She looked away, at the ground, anywhere but at his face. Yukari stood next to her, but Kenji didn't seem to notice. "So much for chivalry," he said with a half smile. His voice was very soft. "But let me claim a reward for good intentions." Before Hitomi even knew what he was about, he bent down and captured her lips with his. Surprised, she did nothing, her green eyes wide.

The kiss lasted only a moment. She never responded to his touch, but, again, he wasn't aware of it. When he drew back, he was smiling, as if he'd won some great prize. With a quiet "Goodbye," he was gone.

As soon as he was out of sight, Hitomi scrubbed the back of one hand against her lips. His touch made her tremble, and it wasn't with anticipation. It was with dread, almost with disgust, and she didn't even know why. She had to stop herself from gagging. With her hand still on her mouth, she was suddenly reminded of the kiss she shared with Allen. She'd awaited that, longed for it, yet when he had kissed her, it left her wondering what she'd been waiting for. It had been passionless, she thought now. Even though she recalled the warmth of his body, his kiss had not imparted any to her, no heat, no desire.

She knew now it was because she loved Van even then in her heart, though her head still wanted Allen.

This one was worse. She had not asked for it, had wanted no part of it, and yet it had been forced upon her.

Van . . . She had seen the hurt on his face when he'd caught her and Allen kissing, and it had hurt her in turn, though she hadn't known why. She didn't want to cause him any more pain. She couldn't tell him this . . .

"Hitomi?" Yukari had watched her strange actions. "Are you sure you're all right? What are you doing that for?"

She realized she was still rubbing her lips with the back of her hand and stopped. Shouldering her bag again, she replied, "I didn't want his kiss."

Taken aback, Yukari asked, "Well, why not? If a cute guy kisses you, why wouldn't you want it?"

Hitomi turned away, looking deeper into the shadows between the buildings. It was quite dark now. "Because . . ."

Because he's not Van . . .

"Because I don't like him." She brushed her hair back from her face and started walking. She really didn't want to have this conversation, not now. From what little Yukari had said, she believed that the dragon and Van and the pillar of light were all just a weird dream. Hitomi knew her mother had mentioned in passing missing her and dreaming about her, but didn't remember her being gone. How can I explain that I was gone for months in another world and helped fight a war there? How can I explain that I love a man who doesn't live in this world? When no one believes that I've gone anywhere? She heard Yukari running to catch up with her.

"Why don't you like him? What is there not to like? He's good looking, smart, a great runner, and I hear his father has a lot of money. He works for some big corporation. Why in the world wouldn't any girl like that?" Her friend sounded genuinely puzzled.

Silently, Hitomi sighed. Well, she thought, not everyone can have visions, and I suppose she can't understand my hunch that he's just dark. "I don't know," she said truthfully. "I just don't." She kept on walking, and said over her shoulder, "Come on, let's get going. We're going to be late for supper. Both of our moms will be upset if that happens."

Behind her, she heard Yukari laugh. "I was right! There is someone else you like!"

That stopped her. My face is going to be permanently red, she thought irrelevantly as she felt her cheeks heat. Forcing her tone to be as normal as possible, she asked, "What makes you say that?"

Yukari peeked around her shoulder, and Hitomi thanked heaven that it was now too dark to see clearly. When she spoke, her friend's voice was serious. "Then what's the matter? You haven't been yourself for more than a year- almost two years now. You don't touch your tarot cards anymore, and you've been depressed and distracted. All you do is study and run. You don't even want to spend time with our friends anymore." She threw her arms around Hitomi, startling her. "I'm worried about you, and the only think I can think of is that . . . that you still like Amano . . . and that's why you're acting like this." Hitomi was even more surprised to feel her friend's shoulders start to shake. "If that's what it is . . . if what you said before is true . . . and you still want to go out with Amano . . . I . . . I . . ."

"Oh, no! Yukari, that's not it at all!" She embraced her weeping friend. "No, Yukari, I don't have a crush on Amano anymore. I'm happy for you, that you're together with him, even though he's so far away." She pulled back, and watched as Yukari wiped her cheeks. "I promise you, that's not it." She smiled sadly, and put a hand on the other girl's shoulder. "I'm sorry if I haven't been myself. I've got something on my mind . . . but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. But you'll be the first to know when I am. OK?"

"Promise?" Yukari sniffled, brown eyes wide.

"I promise. Now, let's go home." As they walked away from the schoolyard, Hitomi felt a sharp stab of pain in her chest. I'm sorry, Yukari, she thought. But I can't tell you. The sky was dark when she looked up, and the first stars were making their appearance. For an instant, she saw an image of wings against the stars. Van, she thought, as the feathers faded into the bright points of light. I need to tell you . . .