Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne. I do, however, own the twisted little plot, and any characters I have created. Basically, if you don't recognize them, they're probably mine. (In this chapter, no one that I own appears, though, unless you count Kenji . . .)
Re-Visions
Chapter 8
"Dying?" Van whispered, feeling the blood drain from his face. Had he not already been kneeling, he would have fallen to his knees as his strength fled him. He stared at the girl in disbelief. "Hitomi is dying?" No, it couldn't be . . .
Yes. She is dying. But do not despair, because with your help, she might yet recover.
Hope flared within him at her words, but he pushed it aside, not wanting to have it dashed. He needed to know . . . "How can she be . . . dying?" He could hardly bring himself to say the word.
He heard the girl sigh. Earth . . . the Mystic Moon . . . is such a very different place than Gaea. Ripples travel further here than there . . .
He was puzzled at her words. "But what does that . . ."
Not now. Just listen. She cupped her hands together. Inside of Hitomi's mind is a receptacle for her powers, like a cup. He blinked, and there was a small cup cradled in her hands. This is not what it's really like, she told him, her voice apologetic. This is just to show you. See- this cup is very small. She held it up, and indeed, it was, just about the size of an eggcup, filled with a shimmering blue fluid. Inside the cup, this blue glow is her power. This is the measure of her power when she was a child. It was quiescent within her. She could not use it intentionally, and it never really manifested. She never tapped it consciously when she did her tarot readings, but its presence is the reason why they were always so accurate. Just before Hitomi entered high school, she . . . began to develop as a woman. When that happened, her capacity . . . her powers . . . grew as well. The cup grew a bit bigger in the girl's hands, perhaps now the size of a large teacup, still full. Then she had her first vision. Without warning, without any movement from the girl, half the liquid in the cup spilled over the rim. Van blinked. What just happened?
When you and she were transported to Gaea, the ambience here started to develop her powers more . . .
"The ambience? What do you mean?"
King, I am dead. Yet I am here with you. Her tone in his mind was so wry he could almost imagine her smile, but her grave expression never changed. Your mother, Balgus- you saw them in the Mystic Valley, did you not? The dead can walk again here- if only for brief periods in extremis. This is a world wrought by magic and wishes. That's the ambience, and it worked on Hitomi, increasing her power and making her have visions. The cup expanded in her hands to a small bowl, a serving bowl, a mixing bowl, overwhelming her hands. With each vision she had, the more able she was to have them, and more likely. This is also when she learned to tap the power within her- still unconsciously at first, and only in great need. She kept hearing you in her mind during the battle for Rampant, and, shocked by the violence in her name, for her sake, she called the tower of light to pull away the Fate-Changed boy. Again, nothing seemed to happen, but some of the liquid slipped out of the bowl in her hands, onto her dress, leaving no sign . . .
Then, she called it again to take her back to Earth. You brought her back here. Though Van was staring at her hands, he could detect no movement, and the blue glow spilled over anyway. It was less than half full, but as he watched, it started to swirl and the level slowly rose. She took your brother to the Emperor's palace. Abruptly the level dropped again, and then it was nearly emptied as the girl spoke her next words. She powered the Atlantis Machine, and the Zone of Absolute Fortune. She even managed to somehow speak to you as you fought the knight. Van could only see a glimmer of blue at the very bottom of the bowl, a few drops clinging to the sides. Then, as before, it started to slowly rise, like a whirlpool in reverse. Before it was full, though, it just stopped, becoming still and placid. Then, she returned to Earth again.
Van looked sharply at the girl's solemn face. "Why isn't it filling? She's not using her powers on . . . Earth . . ." He felt his features go slack with surprise.
The girl nodded. But she is using her powers. As fast as this bowl refilled on Gaea . . . it can't fill that fast on Earth. The ambience there is different. Before she came here, it was all right; she never used her abilities, so it didn't need to refill. But a torrent here is a drop there. As she spoke, ripples spread slowly over the surface of the liquid, like a stone had been thrown in, only from underneath. So slow . . . she murmured sadly, looking at the basin in her hands. She closed her eyes. Then she rediscovered the link with you . . .
Slowly, a little at a time, the glowing blue liquid started slipping over the rim, never refilling. As he watched, stunned, it drained until there were only drops left at the bottom. When she used the link to talk to you, it caused a backlash. Always afterwards, she would have visions. The visions themselves used up her power almost as much as talking to you. When finally her receptacle was empty, I decided that I needed to intervene. Her eyes were still closed.
"You! It was your voice I heard . . ." Van felt anger burn away his amazement. "You tore her away from me!"
Yes. She opened her eyes, and they sparkled with tears. I was wrong. I thought . . . if she could not reach you, eventually, she would stop, and she would recover. The visions caused her pain, because of the dearth of her power. If she could let it fill again, the pain would go away. But she would not stop. Even though I blocked her way to you, she kept trying to reach you. A drop of power a day- and she would use it. But a drop is not enough to reach Gaea. Because she demanded the power, her body gave of itself- her physical strength, her endurance, her bones and muscles. The bowl was now coated with a patina of red, like fresh blood, but still empty. Despair took her, stealthily creeping into her mind. Without even thinking about it, she has decided life . . . is not worth living. Her mind is convinced that she should die. Seeing the shock in his face, she said, No, she is not actively seeking suicide. But though her body cries out for food, she will not eat. Her mind tells her that the food is tasteless, and she is unable to choke it down.
Van closed his eyes, recalling the raw pain in her call to him. Oh, Hitomi, he thought, his hands clenching and unclenching. If I had only known . . . One hand crept up to grasp the pendant. His eyes flew open, staring at her, as the idea struck him. "But . . . if she comes back . . ." Hope filled him. She could stay!
She can fully recover. The girl nodded. That is why I need your help. I need you to activate the light, so you can go get her. There is no way she could activate it herself. It would surely kill her, weakened as she is.
"I . . . I don't know how." He stared at the floor, unable to look at her. It would be his fault if she died . . .
I will help you. He felt a tingle on his hand, and saw she had reached out, touching him. The bowl was gone.
Gazing at her, so like Hitomi, he let himself smile for the first time in a long time. That smile crumbled, however, when he was struck by a horrible realization, one that reduced all his dreams to dust, reduced him to desolation. "What's the condition?" he asked in a low voice.
She blinked at him, otherwise unmoving and silent.
"You are giving me my heart's desire," he continued tonelessly, trying to hold back the hope, the anguish. "This is what I have wanted for so long . . . to have you give it to me . . . all I can think is there must be a condition to it." He bit his lip as she continued to stare at him.
Condition? She laughed in his mind, her expression unchanged. Clever. Yes. There is one condition. She took her hand away.
"What is it?" he whispered, closing his eyes. Please, don't let it be . . .
It will become evident when the time is right.
His heart sank. I don't think I can let her go again, he thought desperately.
In the meantime, my King . . . He forced the tears away, forced himself to look at her. She will need to know that you care. You will eventually need to tell her what I have told you about her powers. Wait until she is strong enough to bear it. Her green eyes took on a faraway look. I must go to her now. I will come back later. Wait for me outside, somewhere where you will not be disturbed. I will find you at moonrise. Before he could form another question, she was gone. A faint after image glowed in his eyes, before that, too, faded, and he was alone again. Slowly, he pulled himself to his feet, noticing the ache in his knees from kneeling so long.
The hope warred with fear within him. I won't be able to let you go again, he thought. Surely . . . surely this time it will kill me . . . But I will save you, Hitomi. His mahogany eyes were filled with determination. I swear it.
***
The first thing Hitomi saw when she opened her eyes was the school infirmary, the ceiling drifting in and out of focus. The second thing was Kenji.
Somehow, she knew it was a vision. There was no background behind him, only darkness. Reddish light shone on him from somewhere. He was looking down. He wasn't alone. There was a figure kneeling, huddled at his feet. He bent to lift that person up. It was a woman, a long spill of blond hair obscuring her face. Hitomi could see her womanly curves, outlined by the sheath dress she wore. He raised her up . . . then slapped her, hard, no expression on his face at all. Slowly, the woman spun around and fell to her knees again, one hand pressed to her cheek. She was shaking, sobbing, Hitomi realized. She knew she could do nothing- the vision played out for her to watch, nothing more. The woman stopped crying, and looked up, hate flashing in her eyes. No! Hitomi thought, shocked. The woman looked like her.
Gasping, she pulled herself out of it, and lay staring at nothing. She concentrated on breathing deeply. I know now why I never liked him, she thought blankly. I wonder- will that come to pass? Will it be some other woman? But her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of a phone from the next room.
"Mrs. Kanzaki? Thank goodness, I have been trying to reach you. It's about Hitomi . . . yes. She collapsed today at school . . . It appears there was some trouble with a boy . . .No, she's not injured . . . No, I'm concerned that . . . she fainted some time ago, and hasn't come around yet . . . the doctor? Yes, I think that's a good idea . . . I think she may be anorexic . . . yes, that's it . . . she's too thin for her own good . . . the only other option I can think of is, well . . . you won't want to hear it, but drugs of some . . . No, there's been no problem with that here, but there are so many places . . . Please calm down. No, I quite understand . . . I'll keep her here . . . Goodbye."
Hitomi heard the nurse hang up. She closed her eyes as the nurse came in to check on her. She heard the woman sigh as she took her pulse. "Girls these days . . . poor thing." The tap-tap of her heels receded as she left. The door opened and closed, briefly letting her hear the voices in the hall.
She tried to sit up, but her muscles would not obey. For some reason, she wasn't bothered by it. Why? What had happened? She remembered Kenji forcing her against the lockers . . . she remembered crying out . . .
Van! Van had responded to her cry! That was why nothing bothered her. Nothing in the world could be bad, as long as she had that happiness. The link worked again. Smiling slightly, she found the link, and tried to follow it to him again. Oh, how she longed to talk to him once more . . .
But she couldn't make it work. There was a massive weight pounding the inside of her skull. Every single one of her muscles screamed in agony. Worst of all, there was a blue haze clouding the link, making it hard to find, hard to follow. No, she cried silently. Go away! Let me talk to him, please!
Hitomi. Stop this now.
What? There was another voice in her head, one that seemed familiar, a dimly recalled memory from long ago . . . She tried to close it out, frantic to ride the link to Van.
Hitomi. Stop it now. You're hurting yourself. A blurry image formed.
. . . Grandmother? Disbelief flooded her.
The image resolved itself into her grandmother as she had appeared on Gaea, in the Mystic Valley. Listen to me now. Trust me. Have your mother take you home. Tonight, after dark, after your parents are asleep, go out to the tree and wait. Do not try to follow your link to the king. Do not try to contact him. I mean it! Don't question me, she warned, knowing Hitomi was about to do so. Just do as I ask. Everything will be explained, I promise. Her green eyes smiled at her granddaughter. It will be all right, child. Sleep now.
Without a protest, Hitomi did so. Grandmother had never lied to her.
***
He could see the form, perfect in his mind. He could see the movements he needed to make, the sequence leading up to it. When he got it right, he could feel the sweet singing of the strain in his muscles. That's how he knew, he'd been told. Every muscle sang out, if it was right. He took a deep breath and centered himself, hands loosely gripping the sword. He brought himself to the first position, sword at the level of his eyes. Second position- turn the body slightly, present a narrower target for your enemy.
. . . falling . . .
He blinked, trying to regain his concentration. Third position . . . third . . .
. . . dying . . .
"No!" Van let the blade fall from the position, bracing the tip on the ground. She would not die!
Avoiding everyone had not been easy. The way the hope and the agony were tearing him apart, he knew he could talk to no one, he could be around no one. Finally, he hiked his way up to Escaflowne's glade. No one would bother him there. He'd spent the day trying to focus himself, trying to practice, as he had not in many days. But thoughts of Hitomi kept interrupting, and he hadn't made it past the third position in hours. He wiped the sweat from his brow, rapidly cooling in the chill air.
He stepped to the edge, staring down at the nearly completed sprawl of his city. The sun was sinking in the west. Walking back to where he'd left his cloak, he pulled it on and sat down on the cold grass to wait, trying to feel nothing.
***
It had taken all of her powers of persuasion, but Hitomi had managed to convince her mother not to take her to the hospital. Her mother was upset about the whole matter, and more than once on the ride said, "I knew you should have stayed home today!"
"Yes, Mom," was all Hitomi would say. When the reached the house, Hitomi managed to drag her weary body inside. She had started up the stairs when her mother called, "Where are you going?" She turned and saw her mother glaring at her from the foot of the stairs. "You need to eat."
Closing her eyes, forcing herself not to sway, she turned away and stood with her back to her mother. "I'm going to go to sleep, Mom. I'm tired. I'm not hungry." That last was probably a lie, but the way her stomach was cramping, she didn't think she could keep anything down anyway.
Worry clouded Mrs. Kanzaki's features. "Hitomi, you're so thin . . . the nurse at school said you may be anorexic . . ."
A ghost of a smile touched Hitomi's lips, but her mother couldn't see it. "No, Mom, I'm not. Nor am I addicted to drugs. I'm just tired. You don't need to wake me for supper." She trudged up the stairs and closed her door, leaving her mother staring after her helplessly.
She sat on her bed, her muscles too exhausted to even let her undress. She stared sightlessly across her room. It was real . . . wasn't it? she wondered.
The second time she'd awoken in the nurse's office, all she could remember really happening was Kenji grabbing her and her scream, desperate to get away from him. Dreamlike, the vision of Kenji and the blond woman flashed in her head, and . . . her grandmother's voice? She sighed and fell back on the bed, eyes drifting shut again.
Yukari, she remembered suddenly. I promised Yukari I'd tell her . . . She rolled onto her side, thinking, I'll write her a note.
But instead, she fell into a deep sleep again. The afternoon crept by. A shimmer of blue appeared in the corner by her desk as night drew its velvety cloak over the sky.
Hitomi. The voice was speaking directly into her dream. Hitomi, wake now.
She blinked once, twice, and was awake. Her brow furrowed at the familiarity of the voice. "Grandmother?"
Yes, child. Now, go out to the tree, and wait there. It's a bit cold out, you'll want to change your clothes. The glimmer faded away.
Obeying automatically, because she couldn't find the will to do otherwise, she made her way to her closet, stripping off her uniform as she did. Blazer, tie, shirt, skirt, all fell carelessly to the floor. She pulled on an old pair of jeans, which rested dangerously low on her hips. Frowning slightly, she looked for a belt, and threaded it through the loops. Next was her favorite shirt, and a thick sweatshirt. Then she felt the world start to tilt and spin, and collapsed onto her desk chair.
What's going on? she wondered distantly, as if she were outside herself. She blinked, and saw the room painted in black and white. Daylight poured in the window, the tree a shadow as dark as night. Her room was empty. She felt herself drawn to the door, and slowly stood and moved toward it. She slipped out the door and down the stairs. The living room . . . She turned and saw a shadow flit across the white wall before her. It wasn't hers. It was too odd a shape, and it was carrying something . . . She took a step toward the living room. The shadows clustered in the open doorway, dark contrast to the brightness inside. "Why?" she heard a voice say . . . it sounded like
When she opened her eyes, she was lying on the floor next to her desk, shivering. The sky was dark, and through the window she could see stars twinkling. Her limbs cried out in protest as she tried to sit up. She moaned softly as her head started to pound, but managed to get upright. Leaning heavily on the chair, she climbed to her feet. Panting, she stood there a moment, swaying. Outside, she thought. Grandmother said to go to the tree . . . The direction she had been given was a beacon to her, a grail.
The house was silent as she padded to her door. She opened it cautiously, and left it ajar. Carefully, she made her way down the stairs, suddenly conscious of the terrible weakness of her body. At the foot of the stairs, she picked up her sneakers, and almost fell over when the vertigo hit her. Clutching her shoes to her, she fought the darkness encroaching in her head. After a moment, it retreated, but flickered at the edges of her vision. Moonlight was streaming through the kitchen windows as she stumbled to the back door. Outside . . . She remembered to put on her shoes before opening the door.
The chill of the night was sharp, even through the heavy sweatshirt. She fumbled in her pocket for her house keys, to unlock the door and retrieve a coat, but her numb fingers dropped them into the shadows next to the stoop. Recalling what happened when she bent for her sneakers, she decided to just leave them. I'll get them later . . . Rubbing her arms for warmth, she shuffled through the dew-damp grass to the spreading tree. All right, Grandmother, I'm here . . . She tripped on a root, and caught herself against the trunk, the bark rough beneath her hands, her cheek. Unable to stand anymore, she sank to her knees, still leaning against the tree. Moonlight could not penetrate the thick leaves in summer, but they were small and few now. If she looked up, she could see the stars.
Grandmother? Grandmother, I'm here . . . The cold invaded her body swiftly, now that she had stopped moving. Her teeth began to chatter, startlingly loud in the still of the night. She huddled down into herself, seeking some non-existent warmth. For many long moments, nothing happened. Her grandmother did not appear as she had expected.
Maybe it was a dream, Hitomi thought sluggishly, closing her eyes. Or a hallucination . . . She felt something pointed and hard digging into her knee, could feel the texture of the bark. I know this is real . . . Grandmother . . . I'm so tired . . .
Suddenly, there was a great flash of light, blindingly bright, right next to her. She slitted her eyes, and peered over, only half interested. Within the light, a figure lightly touched down to earth, outlined distinctly in the brilliant column of white. Then it was gone, and all that was left was the violet after image against her retina. She closed her eyes again, and started to surrender to the darkness surrounding her.
"Hitomi?" Dimly, she heard a movement, and a voice, an achingly familiar voice, whispered her name. "Hitomi!" It demanded a response, and she forced her eyes open again.
Oh- this had to be a dream, there was no way this could be real, not when she'd dreamt of this so many times . . . It was he, Van, kneeling before her, one hand reaching out to her, as if to caress her cheek, but unsure. Half in shadow, half brightly lit by the moonlight, she could see the strong line of his jaw, his high cheekbones, the beautiful mahogany of his eyes. Her whole body trembled as she stared at him.
No, this was real, he was here. All that she had cried for, had begged for- he was here, close enough to touch. Weakly, she pushed herself away from the tree and wrapped her arms around his neck. Resting her head in the curve of his shoulder, she breathed in his warmth, his scent, fresh as a springtime field. "Oh, you're here, you're really here," she murmured almost soundlessly against his shirt. The tears didn't start until he embraced her. She could feel his arms, hard and strong against her back, could feel them shaking as he fought the urge to crush her against him. She knew he wanted to, he was there in her mind again, after having been gone so long, and she smiled through her tears. This time, when the darkness threatened, she fell into it. Van is here now, Van will save me . . .
She was so fragile looking, Van almost didn't dare touch her. He was surprised when she hugged him, almost unbelieving. He let his arms enfold her, and closed his eyes in distress when he realized he could feel her bones through her clothing. He held her gently, feeling that any more strength would break her. He nearly panicked when she slumped against him, but her shallow breath tickled his ear, and when he pulled her away to look at her, she was smiling faintly. Gingerly, he scooped her up, but his control nearly broke then. Oh, gods, she weighs so little- there's nothing to her at all. He stood, and concentrated as the other girl had taught him, touching a far-away pool of power- his own, she'd said, but difficult to tap. He felt the pendant grow warm, then hot beneath his shirt, and then the light came and lifted him up. He cradled her against him, and whispered into her hair, "Stay with me. Stay with me, this time . . ."
When he landed again, he looked around, confused. He expected to see Escaflowne outlined by moonlight, but there was nothing. When he turned, he saw the pile of the ruined castle not far off, and sighed in relief. He felt her start to shiver against him, and quickly set off.
Already she is recovering, he heard the other girl in his mind. My thanks to you, Lord King . . .
"You still haven't told me the condition!" He felt the girl's reply fading away as she took her leave.
She laughed, a happy, silvery sound. You will impose the condition yourself- the depth of your feelings for my granddaughter will not let you do otherwise. You will know when it is met. Until then, farewell. Take good care of her. Then she was gone, and with her, the path to his power. In truth, he counted it no loss.
Not compared to what he had gained, who he held in his arms.
Author's Note: *sigh* They made it! Smooth sailing from here, right? Let me know what you think, please review!
