Brotherhood Clerks

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men, and Clerks belongs to Kevin Smith. I'm just a loser with nothing better do on a weekend.

It was one of those slow, hot and boring days at the Brotherhood boarding house. Fred and Todd were sitting on the couch, watching T.V. Tabitha was in her room, trying to get her homework done. Lance and Pietro were no where's to been found. "Yo Freddy, it's oddly quiet here," muttered Todd, shooting out his tongue to snag a cricket off the wall. Fred just shrugged. Due to a very unlucky spurge on Red Hots, his vocal cords were temporarily paralyzed. Just then Lance walked into the house, a smile on his face. "Guess what guys? I finally got myself a job!" Todd and Fred stared at him, then turned back to watch the T.V. "Hey, aren't you happy for me?" said Lance, a little annoyed at his friend's lack of enthusiasm. "We were the first five times you had a job, but face it man, you can't keep a job. You either get bored or get fired," said Todd, using his tongue to snag a fly that had wandered into the room. Suddenly, Pietro zoomed into the room, knocking over Lance. "Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!" he chanted, zipping all over the room. "Uh, all ya can eat candy at the Sugar Shack?" said Todd, getting dizzy trying to keep up with Pietro. Fred's eyes widened at the sound of free candy. "No, no, no, no, no, no. I got a job!" said Pietro, grinning broadly. "Dude cool. Where?" said Todd, watching Lance crawl towards Pietro. "Bayville Video," said Pietro, zipping up the stairs. Lance's jaw dropped. "Did he say Bayville Video? No way, NO WAY!" said Lance, his face going white. "Yep, yep, yep. Bayville Video, the one right across from the Speed Stop grocery store," said Pietro, grinning down at Lance. "But, I just got a job at Speed Stop!" protested Lance. "Well, don't worry. Odds are you'll quit before I even open the doors in the morning," said Pietro. With this, Lance's face went from white to red. "Oh yeah? I bet I can last at my job longer than you can!" he growled. Pietro's grin only grew wider, and an evil glint was seen in his eye. "Sounds like a challenge. Tell ya what, if I quit before you do, I'll do your homework and housework everyday for the next twenty years," said Pietro, helping Lance to his feet. "You're on! If I quit, I'll do the same, plus cooking," said Lance, grinning. Todd and Fred watched this with mild interest. "I've got twenty dollars on Lance," said Todd. Fred shook his head and pointed towards Pietro. "Oh yeah, well we'll see," said Todd, grinning.

Three weeks had passed since then. Lance was sleeping peacefully in his bed, when the phone rang. He groaned, not wanting to wake up. It was his day off and he had been up all night. He crawled over to the phone. "Hey Lance, I need you to come in," said Lance's boss on the phone. "No way man, its my day off," groaned Lance. "Come on, just till noon," said the boss, urgently. "No way man, me and the guys have a hockey game at two," said Lance, ready to hang up. "Don't worry, just open the store and work till noon." "Fine, but I'm walking at noon," groaned Lance, hanging up the phone. He pulled himself off the floor, and looked around his room, sighing. He picked up some of his clothes off the floor. After eating a quick, and thanks to Fred, small breakfast, he got in his jeep and headed for work.

Ten minutes later, he pulled up the Speed Stop. Lance grunted as he walked up to the door, unlocking it. He turned on all the lights, started the coffee maker, and put all the paper in the racks. He groaned, noticing that he didn't have any new copies of the Bayville Sports. He walked outside, to across the street, to the newspaper vender in front of Bayville Video. He placed his hand on the machine, and used his mutant powers to pop open the lid, and he took the whole stack of papers, placing them in the bins at the Speed Stop. He then walked behind the counter, sat in his chair, and wished to god the place would burn down. Business was slow for the next few hours, mostly just people coming in to buy cigarettes and beer. Things got real weird when this one guy came in, with a bottle of body fat, protesting against potato chips, claiming tortilla chips were healthier. Soon, a crowd of people were ready to riot, tossing potato chips at Lance. Luckily, Kitty came in, and used a can of shaving cream to chase everyone off, except one man who stayed to buy a bag of chips. "What was up with that?" she asked. Lance shrugged, pulling out a mop, cleaning up all the shaving cream on the floor. "That crazy guy from the tortilla chip company again," he sighed, sweeping out the mess into the street. "Yo, watch where your tossing that stuff!" yelled Todd from outside. He and Fred and decided to use all their free time hanging out in front of the store, Todd picking peoples pockets, and Fred chasing them off. "I thought I told you guys to stop hanging out in front of the store. I'm tired of having the police over here!" yelled Lance, slamming the door.

Across the street, Rogue was standing in front of Bayville Video. She was getting very impatient. Just then Pietro walked up, and leaned against the wall next to her. "Don't bother, the guy ain't here yet," hissed Rogue. "Oh man, that sucks. Doesn't this place open at 11?" he asked. "Yeah, and its 11:30." "Man, I hate it when I can't rent movies. What movie did you want?" asked Pietro, grinning at Rogue. "French Cake 2, it looks funny," said Rogue, sighing impatiently. "You're kidding me! That's the movie I wanted too! Too bad for you there's only one copy," said Pietro. "What do you mean too bad for me? I was here first, I got dibs on it," growled Rogue. "Oh yeah, I bet you I get it first," said Pietro grinning. "Oh yeah, I bet ya thirty bucks I get before you," said Rogue, ready to knock Pietro on his butt. "Your on," said Pietro, getting off the wall, and walking across the street to the Speed Mart. Lance was behind the counter, handing change to an old man who had bought a bag of chips. "What's up loser," grinned Lance, leaning on the counter. "Putting up with the mindless movie going drones," said Pietro. "Yeah, well, try getting to work on time. I've had people coming in here handing me their movies to give to you because you were late." Pietro grinned and took hold of the videos. "Ah, more late fees. People should really learn to be punctual." Lance sighed, as another customer came up, buying an extra large bag of chips and a pack of cigarettes. "Pietro, you left three hours early yesterday, to go to the movies!" Pietro shrugged and headed towards the exit. "It takes way too long to wait for the good movies to come to video." Pietro walked back across the street, unlocked the door to the video store, and walked in, a very angry Rogue following him in.

*************************************************************

Well, thats just a start. If I was gonna put the whole movie into a story form, I think alot of you would lose interest after reading 14 pages, and still not be half way through. Chapter 2 will be up real soon.