Hello, my name is Ross Wyness. I suffer from the guilt of not
forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by
people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor
6-year- old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will
be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give
you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How
stupid are we? "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down
this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy
model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit.
Basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all who have
nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD and
brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least
send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send
this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched
excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from
some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't
fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think
about what you're actually contributing to by sending out
these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity. The
point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening
to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life,
delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by
making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no
teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and
whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive
if you forward this email. Now forward this to everyone
you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will
turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by
people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor
6-year- old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will
be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her
redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give
you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How
stupid are we? "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down
this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy
model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit.
Basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all who have
nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD and
brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.
Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least
send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send
this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched
excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from
some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't
fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think
about what you're actually contributing to by sending out
these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity. The
point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening
to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life,
delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by
making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no
teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and
whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive
if you forward this email. Now forward this to everyone
you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will
turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
