The Man Who Holds Her Heart
Part II: If Only…
Author: dougandcarol22 (gigglgrl26@hotmail.com )
Disclaimer: I know you're probably not gonna believe this, but guess what! Yesterday, I was sitting at my house when all of a sudden the phone rang. I picked it up and it was Warner Brothers, they said and I quote, " Since we know that you want them so badly, we're giving you the ER characters." So, in conclusion, the characters in this story are 100% totally mine. What? You mean it was only a dream?… Well in that case, I suppose I don't own anyone in this story… Sorry, my mistake.
Spoilers: I guess up through Season 7… nothing big I can think of, but there may be some general references. The events in Rampage (i.e. the Carter/Abby "discussion") never took place. Basically… Where the Heart Is, is the last episode that applies.
Archive: Contact me, gigglgrl26@hotmail.com … odds are I'll say yes but I do want to know where this goes.
a memory will be enclosed in these bracket things
*~~~~~~~* Indicates some sort of scene change.
By the way, if you don't read the first part of this series it won't make much sense, so I suggest you do that first. This is the second installment. It picks up seconds after the other ones ending.
___________________________________________________
Appearing ashamed, Abby buried her face in Carter's arms, only to have him lift her face to his level, his hand on her chin. "What did you say?"
"You heard me. I think I may be pregnant with Luka's baby." She shook her head and looked away as if something in the kitchen had suddenly distracted her.
"But you're not sure."
She sighed again and turned towards him. "I'm a couple days late, and I was sick this morning and yesterday. It was only in the morning, I felt better right after." Shrugging her shoulders she continued. "I bought a pregnancy test at the store. I was planning on surprising Luka with it when I got home. Ever since he lost his family in the war, he's wanted more kids. Sometimes, late at night when we had our most intimate conversations he would talk about them…" Abby's voice trailed off quietly, almost as if she were lost in a memory. Not wanting to push her, Carter stayed silent. Moments passed in awkward silence as the two sat, Carter waiting for Abby to talk, and Abby thinking about what to say next.
Finally Carter spoke, "Why don't you lie down and take a nap. I'll make something to eat and unpack the groceries."
She nodded a quick affirmation and swung her legs onto the couch. "Luka would have made a really good father. He… he once said he wanted to do it again. Be a father, I mean." Abby closed her eyes as Carter grabbed a woolen afghan off a nearby recliner and tucked it around her. He heaved a large sigh before walking towards the kitchen to unload the forgotten groceries.
He began to unpack, searching first for perishables and things that needed to go
into the refrigerator. A carton of milk, some diet coke, bread, cheese, fresh salad fixings, and some deli meat left the bags and were soon arranged in the fridge. A bag of potato chips and a couple of frozen dinners later, he was finished. All that remained in the bag was a People Magazine and the pregnancy test.
Looking at it, he felt a sudden pang of remorse towards Luka. How could he just up and leave Abby without giving a reason or even saying good-bye? He left her, alone and pregnant. "Don't try to find me…" Now, he would never know his child. Abby would carry the baby for nine long, agonizing months and be alone without any help raising her child, their child. It made Carter angry to think of Luka and what he had done. Silently, for the first time since Lucy had died, John said a quick prayer. "Please, don't let her be pregnant." He couldn't stand even the thought of Luka, much less the possibility that a part of him was growing inside her womb.
He willed himself to calm down. If Abby saw him like this it would only upset her even more, something he was sure she didn't need. He took a couple of pieces of bread and American cheese from the fridge and put them in the oven to make some grilled cheese sandwiches. Once they began to cook, he took out some ice, two glasses, and the diet coke. Returning once more to the fridge, he took out some lettuce, cucumbers and tomatoes to make a small salad. The timer rang, signaling that the sandwiches were finished and he removed them from the oven. He prepared two plates with the sandwiches and some potato chips, and set them on the table next to the glasses and small bowls of salad. Satisfied, he nodded to himself. For someone with few culinary skills, he could make quite the meal.
Abby walked into the kitchen rubbing tiredness out of her eyes. "How long was I out?"
He sent her a smile before replying, "About half and hour. I made something to eat. You hungry?" He looked at her hopefully.
Abby frowned, ready to decline but seeing the look on his face, she broke into a smile. "You did this?" He nodded, chuckling.
"I don't see anybody else around. Do you?" The jovial scene before her became too much and she giggled. "Hey don't laugh. Just because it looks nice, doesn't mean it tastes good." Abby raised her eyebrows as he walked over and linked arms with her.
Then he spoke in the fake accent of a French waiter, "Your seat, Mademoiselle."
Abby sat down and began to eat the sandwich. He followed suit and they ate in silence.
As they finished she stood up and looked at him. "Thanks. It was good."
"No problem. You go lie down, I'll clean up." She nodded and walked over to the plastic bag that sat on the counter. She reached inside and pulled out the small cardboard box. Sighing heavily, Abby leaned on the counter intently staring at the box, turning it around in her hands as Carter cleaned.
"I think I'm gonna try this."
Carter nodded supportively, "That sounds like a good idea. Once you know for sure, it'll be easier to think about what you're gonna do."
Carter watched as she nodded and walked across the room to the door. "I'll see you in a couple minutes." He nodded again.
As she walked away Carter felt something tear at his heart. He was in love with that woman. What had begun as a friendly work relationship had become friendship and now, he hoped something more, romantic involvement at the very least. Preferably, marriage, children, and spending the rest of their lives together. He longed to walk into that room with her and hold her hand as she took the test. He wanted to hold her as they looked at its results and kiss her, regardless of what it said, safe in the fact that she carried his child. This shocking revelation seemed to come as a surprise, although he knew that it was destined to happen. It was almost as if a sudden peace had come over him, his tortured soul calmed at what he had finally admitted, he was madly, deeply, head over heels in love with Abby Lockhart.
As Carter continued to clean the room he began to form an image in his mind. The two of them, together, in a labor and delivery ward in the hospital. She was pregnant, with his baby and as the doctor coached her to push he could feel the adrenaline of impending fatherhood upon him. Loosing himself in the fantasy, Carter was sure he heard the doctor speak, "It's a girl." The tiny baby, a splitting image of Abby was placed into his arms and all was good in the world.
Meanwhile, Abby stood in the bathroom having successfully completed the test and set the timer for when the results would be ready. What had she gotten herself into? She was pregnant; she didn't really need the test to tell her that. Now, the baby's father was gone, likely never to return. She would be forced to raise the baby of a man she didn't really love at all, on her own. However, that was the least of her worries, for the man she was in love with since the moment she had met him was standing in her kitchen. Of course, she hadn't realized this until about an hour ago sitting with him on the couch. Up until now, her relationship with Luka and her sponsorship status had stopped her from thinking about him in any other way than a friend. At times it had been a struggle but she had managed, denying the inevitable and ignoring the signals her heart was sending. In fact, when she thought about it, she'd asked Luka out to stop herself from being tempted by a man she couldn't have. And now, even though Luka was gone, she knew that she couldn't have Carter. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders having finally admitted the feeling, but she could only hope and wish that he felt the same way. Her face broke into a grin, she was madly, deeply, head over heels in love with John Truman Carter the third.
Abby walked into the kitchen and found Carter wiping his hands on a dishrag, having successfully finished cleaning up from their impromptu meal. She observed that he seemed to be immersed in memory as he was smiling delightedly and staring off into space, his eyes dazed. She took a step forward and spoke, "Hey."
He looked up at her and smiled, looking surprised and almost embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming. "Did you take it?"
"Yeah. Now we wait… I uh… set the timer." She set the timer down on the kitchen table and looked at it. "5 minutes."
Carter joined her at the table, sitting down in a chair right across from where she sat. "You know, whatever happens I'll be here."
"I know. And, I thank you. Carter, you've been so good to me." He put up a hand to silence her, but she continued anyway. "No, you have to let me say this. I need to tell you." Carter shrugged.
"Abby, I know. You helped me too. That's what friends do. I'm paying back old debts, don't forget, who was the person who saved my life?"
"Please, Carter, for my own sanity, let me say this." Abby grinned. "Well now that you interrupted me, I'm gonna have to start over." He groaned and she giggled. "So… Starting over, I just want to thank you for all that you've done for me, dealing with Maggie, coming to Oklahoma, putting up with all my crap and now this. I don't know where I'd be without you."
Before he could speak again, the timer rang and they both looked at each other. "Remember what I said, Abby. I'm always gonna be here for you no matter what happens."
She shook her head in affirmation. Then her face contorted into a sarcastic grin, "It's funny, I'm gonna walk into a bathroom and look onto a little white piece of plastic for some colored lines. Depending on the color and amount of these lines, my life might be changed forever." Carter took a deep breath, and offered her his hand, which she took willingly, squeezing tightly.
They walked up to the bathroom door, Abby's grip still tight on Carter's hand and she reached with her other hand towards the doorknob. Her hand shook as she gripped the cold, metal attachment. Then suddenly her hand dropped. "I can't do this," she whispered.
"Do you want me to go in and look?" Carter inquired. She agreed with a quick nod of the head and loosened the grip on his hand. Then he walked into the room and took it into his hand. A pink plus sign. Carter looked at Abby, "It's positive."
*~~~~~~~~~~~~*
End of Part 2
What do you think, should I continue? You tell me, send feedback, comments/suggestions, flames, encouragement, flowers, tombstone messages, etc… to gigglgrl26@hotmail.com.
Part II: If Only…
Author: dougandcarol22 (gigglgrl26@hotmail.com )
Disclaimer: I know you're probably not gonna believe this, but guess what! Yesterday, I was sitting at my house when all of a sudden the phone rang. I picked it up and it was Warner Brothers, they said and I quote, " Since we know that you want them so badly, we're giving you the ER characters." So, in conclusion, the characters in this story are 100% totally mine. What? You mean it was only a dream?… Well in that case, I suppose I don't own anyone in this story… Sorry, my mistake.
Spoilers: I guess up through Season 7… nothing big I can think of, but there may be some general references. The events in Rampage (i.e. the Carter/Abby "discussion") never took place. Basically… Where the Heart Is, is the last episode that applies.
Archive: Contact me, gigglgrl26@hotmail.com … odds are I'll say yes but I do want to know where this goes.
a memory will be enclosed in these bracket things
*~~~~~~~* Indicates some sort of scene change.
By the way, if you don't read the first part of this series it won't make much sense, so I suggest you do that first. This is the second installment. It picks up seconds after the other ones ending.
___________________________________________________
Appearing ashamed, Abby buried her face in Carter's arms, only to have him lift her face to his level, his hand on her chin. "What did you say?"
"You heard me. I think I may be pregnant with Luka's baby." She shook her head and looked away as if something in the kitchen had suddenly distracted her.
"But you're not sure."
She sighed again and turned towards him. "I'm a couple days late, and I was sick this morning and yesterday. It was only in the morning, I felt better right after." Shrugging her shoulders she continued. "I bought a pregnancy test at the store. I was planning on surprising Luka with it when I got home. Ever since he lost his family in the war, he's wanted more kids. Sometimes, late at night when we had our most intimate conversations he would talk about them…" Abby's voice trailed off quietly, almost as if she were lost in a memory. Not wanting to push her, Carter stayed silent. Moments passed in awkward silence as the two sat, Carter waiting for Abby to talk, and Abby thinking about what to say next.
Finally Carter spoke, "Why don't you lie down and take a nap. I'll make something to eat and unpack the groceries."
She nodded a quick affirmation and swung her legs onto the couch. "Luka would have made a really good father. He… he once said he wanted to do it again. Be a father, I mean." Abby closed her eyes as Carter grabbed a woolen afghan off a nearby recliner and tucked it around her. He heaved a large sigh before walking towards the kitchen to unload the forgotten groceries.
He began to unpack, searching first for perishables and things that needed to go
into the refrigerator. A carton of milk, some diet coke, bread, cheese, fresh salad fixings, and some deli meat left the bags and were soon arranged in the fridge. A bag of potato chips and a couple of frozen dinners later, he was finished. All that remained in the bag was a People Magazine and the pregnancy test.
Looking at it, he felt a sudden pang of remorse towards Luka. How could he just up and leave Abby without giving a reason or even saying good-bye? He left her, alone and pregnant. "Don't try to find me…" Now, he would never know his child. Abby would carry the baby for nine long, agonizing months and be alone without any help raising her child, their child. It made Carter angry to think of Luka and what he had done. Silently, for the first time since Lucy had died, John said a quick prayer. "Please, don't let her be pregnant." He couldn't stand even the thought of Luka, much less the possibility that a part of him was growing inside her womb.
He willed himself to calm down. If Abby saw him like this it would only upset her even more, something he was sure she didn't need. He took a couple of pieces of bread and American cheese from the fridge and put them in the oven to make some grilled cheese sandwiches. Once they began to cook, he took out some ice, two glasses, and the diet coke. Returning once more to the fridge, he took out some lettuce, cucumbers and tomatoes to make a small salad. The timer rang, signaling that the sandwiches were finished and he removed them from the oven. He prepared two plates with the sandwiches and some potato chips, and set them on the table next to the glasses and small bowls of salad. Satisfied, he nodded to himself. For someone with few culinary skills, he could make quite the meal.
Abby walked into the kitchen rubbing tiredness out of her eyes. "How long was I out?"
He sent her a smile before replying, "About half and hour. I made something to eat. You hungry?" He looked at her hopefully.
Abby frowned, ready to decline but seeing the look on his face, she broke into a smile. "You did this?" He nodded, chuckling.
"I don't see anybody else around. Do you?" The jovial scene before her became too much and she giggled. "Hey don't laugh. Just because it looks nice, doesn't mean it tastes good." Abby raised her eyebrows as he walked over and linked arms with her.
Then he spoke in the fake accent of a French waiter, "Your seat, Mademoiselle."
Abby sat down and began to eat the sandwich. He followed suit and they ate in silence.
As they finished she stood up and looked at him. "Thanks. It was good."
"No problem. You go lie down, I'll clean up." She nodded and walked over to the plastic bag that sat on the counter. She reached inside and pulled out the small cardboard box. Sighing heavily, Abby leaned on the counter intently staring at the box, turning it around in her hands as Carter cleaned.
"I think I'm gonna try this."
Carter nodded supportively, "That sounds like a good idea. Once you know for sure, it'll be easier to think about what you're gonna do."
Carter watched as she nodded and walked across the room to the door. "I'll see you in a couple minutes." He nodded again.
As she walked away Carter felt something tear at his heart. He was in love with that woman. What had begun as a friendly work relationship had become friendship and now, he hoped something more, romantic involvement at the very least. Preferably, marriage, children, and spending the rest of their lives together. He longed to walk into that room with her and hold her hand as she took the test. He wanted to hold her as they looked at its results and kiss her, regardless of what it said, safe in the fact that she carried his child. This shocking revelation seemed to come as a surprise, although he knew that it was destined to happen. It was almost as if a sudden peace had come over him, his tortured soul calmed at what he had finally admitted, he was madly, deeply, head over heels in love with Abby Lockhart.
As Carter continued to clean the room he began to form an image in his mind. The two of them, together, in a labor and delivery ward in the hospital. She was pregnant, with his baby and as the doctor coached her to push he could feel the adrenaline of impending fatherhood upon him. Loosing himself in the fantasy, Carter was sure he heard the doctor speak, "It's a girl." The tiny baby, a splitting image of Abby was placed into his arms and all was good in the world.
Meanwhile, Abby stood in the bathroom having successfully completed the test and set the timer for when the results would be ready. What had she gotten herself into? She was pregnant; she didn't really need the test to tell her that. Now, the baby's father was gone, likely never to return. She would be forced to raise the baby of a man she didn't really love at all, on her own. However, that was the least of her worries, for the man she was in love with since the moment she had met him was standing in her kitchen. Of course, she hadn't realized this until about an hour ago sitting with him on the couch. Up until now, her relationship with Luka and her sponsorship status had stopped her from thinking about him in any other way than a friend. At times it had been a struggle but she had managed, denying the inevitable and ignoring the signals her heart was sending. In fact, when she thought about it, she'd asked Luka out to stop herself from being tempted by a man she couldn't have. And now, even though Luka was gone, she knew that she couldn't have Carter. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders having finally admitted the feeling, but she could only hope and wish that he felt the same way. Her face broke into a grin, she was madly, deeply, head over heels in love with John Truman Carter the third.
Abby walked into the kitchen and found Carter wiping his hands on a dishrag, having successfully finished cleaning up from their impromptu meal. She observed that he seemed to be immersed in memory as he was smiling delightedly and staring off into space, his eyes dazed. She took a step forward and spoke, "Hey."
He looked up at her and smiled, looking surprised and almost embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming. "Did you take it?"
"Yeah. Now we wait… I uh… set the timer." She set the timer down on the kitchen table and looked at it. "5 minutes."
Carter joined her at the table, sitting down in a chair right across from where she sat. "You know, whatever happens I'll be here."
"I know. And, I thank you. Carter, you've been so good to me." He put up a hand to silence her, but she continued anyway. "No, you have to let me say this. I need to tell you." Carter shrugged.
"Abby, I know. You helped me too. That's what friends do. I'm paying back old debts, don't forget, who was the person who saved my life?"
"Please, Carter, for my own sanity, let me say this." Abby grinned. "Well now that you interrupted me, I'm gonna have to start over." He groaned and she giggled. "So… Starting over, I just want to thank you for all that you've done for me, dealing with Maggie, coming to Oklahoma, putting up with all my crap and now this. I don't know where I'd be without you."
Before he could speak again, the timer rang and they both looked at each other. "Remember what I said, Abby. I'm always gonna be here for you no matter what happens."
She shook her head in affirmation. Then her face contorted into a sarcastic grin, "It's funny, I'm gonna walk into a bathroom and look onto a little white piece of plastic for some colored lines. Depending on the color and amount of these lines, my life might be changed forever." Carter took a deep breath, and offered her his hand, which she took willingly, squeezing tightly.
They walked up to the bathroom door, Abby's grip still tight on Carter's hand and she reached with her other hand towards the doorknob. Her hand shook as she gripped the cold, metal attachment. Then suddenly her hand dropped. "I can't do this," she whispered.
"Do you want me to go in and look?" Carter inquired. She agreed with a quick nod of the head and loosened the grip on his hand. Then he walked into the room and took it into his hand. A pink plus sign. Carter looked at Abby, "It's positive."
*~~~~~~~~~~~~*
End of Part 2
What do you think, should I continue? You tell me, send feedback, comments/suggestions, flames, encouragement, flowers, tombstone messages, etc… to gigglgrl26@hotmail.com.
