The following story was first presented in serial form in a Yahoo! club called Tenchi's Karaoke Party, or TKP. TKP was a kick-ass place. If classed as a star, it would have been a white-hot Class O, big, bright, beautiful, short lived, doomed to supernova in a fraction of the time given to boring, mundane stars. And so it did. I am perhaps the only person who still morns it's passing, and I will honor it's memory for the rest of my life. That may sound strange to you, but those who know me will understand, for I have a rather unique perspective of commitment, and a special relationship with time. As Thoreau so exactly observed in Walden, "As he made no compromise with Time, Time kept out of his way, and only sighed at a distance because he could not overcome him."
Tenchi Muyo and all their wonderful characters are the property of AIC. Gilligan's Island is owned by somebody, no doubt, and if they send a lawyer, I've got my rocket sled ready .....
Washu cried, And the winner of Challenge
#6 is ... the TENCHI TRIBE! The other six members of the
Tenchi Tribe cheered. That makes the score Tenchi Tribe -6-
Gilligan Tribe -0-!
Now, wait a minute, Miss Washu, objected the Skipper.
I don't think that was a fair challenge!
What? Two women on a desert island come across a valuable
tool at the same time and they fight over it. It could
happen!
Yeah, but your Kiyone is a police officer trained in the
martial arts! Ginger didn't stand a chance!
It seemed like a fair contest from where I stood, and I
think Ginger would agree with me, if she were still
conscious. Washu shook her head. It's always
something with you, isn't it, Skipper? Mr. Howell
can't fly.' Mary-Ann hasn't got a force
field.' Mrs. Howell's never used a sword
before.' Gilligan can't cook.' I
don't look good in a bikini.'
You're quite the whiner, Skipper, you know that?
But, tell ya what I'm gonna do. Since I don't
want any back-talk when it comes time to pay up, I'm willing
to wipe the slate clean. What do you say, Skipper? One last
challenge, for control of the island. The last two challengers,
me and your Professor, for all the marbles. What do ya say?
Same victory conditions as before?
That's right! Winner gets the island, loser leaves
everything and starts swimming! Well, Skipper?
The Skipper paused a second, then went for it. We'll
do it! Come on, Professor! Don't let us down!'
I'll try my best, Skipper, said the Professor.
In the evening, the two tribes stood by the lagoon, the beach lit
with torches.
Gather round, everyone! yelled Washu. She held
up a wicker basket I shall now draw, at random, the seventh
and final Challenge!
Mr. Howell leaned next to his wife. You know, Lovie, that
little red-headed girl has lots of spunk, but I can't help
but think at times that this thing is rigged!
Washu rummaged through the basket and pulled a long slip of
paper. She read, Challenge Number Seven: Find a way off the
island!
Number seven: Find a realistic way to get back to Hawaii.
Sounds like something castaways would try to do, said
Washu.
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard
of, said the Professor. If we could find a way home,
we wouldn't have needed to even do this challenges!
Then I guess you're admitting defeat, eh? Washu
took two torches and walked over to a large shadow at the
water's edge. The torches lit a large canvas, which Washu
grabbed hold of. Behold! My latest and greatest
invention! She pulled away the cover. The Washu
Desperation Rocket Sled!
It was a monster built of wood, wicker and bamboo, held together
with line and linen. It had a back firewall and seven seats,
three pair behind a pilot. The frame rested on old oil drums, and
and it all sat on a bamboo lattice that stretched off into the
darkness.
You thought we were tricking you and you were right!
Washu's voice trailed the edge of madness. While you
were preparing for these stupid games, we used the time to
prepare our escape!
The Skipper stared at the sled. You mean, you used the time
to ransack our huts! Most of this stuff belongs to us!
That's right, and I used the coral, the sulfur springs
and ash from your old campfires to make a powerful propellant
that will have us in the shadow of Diamond Head in no time!
Professor, what do you think? Is this possible?
I don't know, Skipper. Despite the materials, this
thing is incredibly sophisticated. And if my calculations are
correct, these rails are on a direct line with downtown
Honolulu!
And I have tickets to the floorshow at the Wakiki
Hilton, said Washu, so much as I love to hear people
wonder at my genius, we really must be going.
Oh, no you don't!
Gilligan! Get off that thing!
No way, Skipper! They've been tricking us ever since
they showed up. Now it's our turn to trick them! I'm
gonna take this thing and send back help!
oh, dear, said Ayeka, the little ugly one is
taking our sled.
oh, my, said Ryoko, what ever shall we
do.
Try and show a little enthusiasm, you two, muttered
Washu.
I say, dear boy, said Howell. Can you get us
back before the closing bell on Wall Street?
said Skipper, because he's not flying
that thing. I am!
The professor objected, Now, wait ...
Please. Professor! said Mary Ann. This is the
first real chance we've had in years! Help me tie
what's left of Ginger in her seat, and let's go!
So the castaways belted themselves in and the Skipper lit the
fuse. So long, Suckersss! yelled Gilligan, as the
can-rockets flared and boomed, and the sled roared down the track
and into the night sky.
G' BYE! called Mihoshi. See ya! Enjoy
Honolulu! G'bye! Have a nice trip!
Tenchi came over to Washu. That was really a bad trick we
pulled on them, Washu.
Even I've had enough high school physics to know solid
rockets that small can't carry seven people all the way to
Hawaii. What's the range of that thing, anyway?
Ninety kilometers, fully loaded. But with the charges, the
range decreases dramatically ...
Look, everyone, called Ayeka.
Hey! Hold me up! Let me see! said Sasami.
OOh. Oh! Ah! Whoa! Wow!
Sasami smiled. I'm sure glad it was dark!
Kiyone squinted at the horizon. Are those ...
letters?
That's right! With a clear night like this, it should
be no problem for the weather satellites to pinpoint our
position!
Ryoko laughed. Good, going, genius.' You spelled
it C-A-S-T-A-W-A There was a group sigh, and the girls
started walking back to camp. I'm gonna try to contact
Ryo-Ohki again. She must be hungry by now!
Tenchi put a hand on Washu's shoulder. It's all
right. I sure that will get someone's attention. He
followed the others.
Washu huffed. Give me a break, people. I only had seven
people to work with!
