Author's Notes: I swear, I never meant to go this long without writing! But I went on a family vacation…and then I wrote in a different fic…but, while doing so, I thought up some great ideas! Kudos to all who read this, and Brownie Points to all who review! All ideas and suggestions (wink wink, nudge nudge) are welcome. Enjoy! note: Lyrics to I Will Survive may be wrong, I was doing it from memory
Disclaimer: Default Standard Disclaimers Apply. I don't own Zelda or Battlebots, or the SSB Intercom, or anything else that shows up here. I do own a pack of rabid time-travelling squirrels, so if you happen to see them, please tell them to come home, and then run like the dickens.
Enstallment 3: Battlebots!
Most of the gang was sitting around in one of the many random rooms of the castle, watching television…
Link: WHOO-HOO! KILL SAWS!
ChaosWEAPON: HAHA! BURN, BABY, BURN!
Darunia: PULVERIZE 'EM!
Skullkid: YES! DESTRUCTION! AND QUIT TALKING IN CAPS!
Saria + Mido: YEAH! ALRIGHT!
Rauru: GYAHAHAHA!
Ganon: YES! SMASH 'IM! INTO THE KILL SAWS WITH YOU!
Impa: NO! DRIVE AWAY FROM THE SPIKE STRIP! AWAY!
Nabooru: THOSE SPINNING BLADES ARE SO COOL!
The rest of the gang, enticed by the bloodthirsty screams, enter the room…
Zelda: What in the name of the Triforce are you watching?!
Everyone who was in the room before the others came in: BATTLEBOTS!
Ruto: Battlebots?
Malon: It looks like fun.
Skullkid: HEY! WHY CAN'T WE DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
everyone looks at everyone else
Rauru: Yeah…why don't we?
Ganon: Chaos, you're the author…
ChaosWEAPON: Brittish accent Indeed I am.
Ganon: And you can make things happen in this fic…
ChaosWEAPON: Scottish accent Aye.
Ganon: Could you make up a Battlebots tournament for us?
ChaosWEAPON: American Slang Yup.
Link: speaking very fast OhboyohboycanwecanweChaoshuhhuhcanwepleasecanweI'vealwayswantedtodo-somethinglikethatsocanwepleasepleasecanwe…continues on like this
Everyone else: looking at Link ………
Link: …What? Why are you looking at me like that? Stop it!
ChaosWEAPON: Uh…okay…I guess…
Darunia: Right! We should each make our own bot…
Impa: And battle it in a tournament!
Nabooru: What should the prize be?
Saria: A trophy!
Skullkid: A BIG ONE!
ChaosWEAPON: A trophy of victory over the Randomness Battlebots Tournament!
Mostly everyone: Yeah!
Meanwhile, Zelda, Malon, and Ruto had slunk off to a dark corner…
Zelda: We should make our own prize!
Malon: What do you mean?
Zelda: Whichever of us gets farther in the tournament…
Ruto: Gets a date with Link!
Zelda, Ruto, and Malon: Right! they walk back to group
Mido: Can we make teams?
ChaosWEAPON: Sure.
Mido: Saria, want to be on a team with me?
Everyone: Ooooooohhhhhh!
Mido: Shut up!
Saria: Uh, okay. Why not?
Everyone: Ooooohhhh!
Saria: Stop that!
Mido: Alright!
ChaosWEAPON: Let's get started then! narrating Several nameless rooms of the castle were instantly transformed into workshops, complete with tools, materials, and refrigerators… everyone leaves to work on their bots
Several hours later:
everyone, their bots completed and ready for death and destruction, met outside where Chaos had narrated into being a caged battle arena
ChaosWEAPON: As much as I would love an all-out Royal Rumble…
Everyone else: WHOO HOO!
ChaosWEAPON: I narrated into being a tournament lineup instead.
Everyone else: …WHOO HOO!
ChaosWEAPON: narrating A large tournament lineup board appeared next to the podium where the referee would stand…
Link: So who's going to fight who?
Zelda: It says on the board.
ChaosWEAPON: There are three divisions that will eliminate losing competitors, leading to one grand three-way Random Rumble.
Ganon: So who will be fighting who?
Impa: Look on the board.
On the Board:
1st Division:
Ruto vs. Saria + Mido
Link vs. Ganon
2nd Division:
Rauru vs. Zelda
ChaosWEAPON vs. Impa
3rd Division:
Malon vs. Darunia
Skullkid vs. Nabooru
Nabooru: Chaos, aren't you going to be the ref?
ChaosWEAPON: Nope.
Malon: Then who is?
ChaosWEAPON: DeadeyeDave.
Everyone: WHAT?!
DeadeyeDave: Yep. You are at my mercy.
Everyone: AAAAHHHHGGGG!
Mido: Why do we keep yelling in concert?
Skullkid: BEATS ME.
Zelda: Do we even care?
Darunia: No.
Rauru: Can we get started already?
ChaosWEAPON: That's the smartest thing you've said…well…ever.
Rauru: Grrrr…
DeadeyeDave: Hey! Get to your places! cracks whip
Super Smash Brothers Intercom: Division 1 Battle 1: Ruto vs. Saria + Mido
DeadeyeDave: Our contenders this evening-
Link: It's 12:15
DeadeyeDave: What?
Link: It's 12:15. It isn't evening!
DeadeyeDave: Shut up! Our contenders this afternoon are Ruto and the Saria/Mido team. Ruto's bot, Jabu-Jabu, is a fish-shaped bot in the wedge design. The Saria/Mido bot, Deku Tree, is a tree-shaped bot with a sledgehammer. as Mills Lane from Celebrity Deathmatch Now let's get it on! Mortal Kombat theme plays
in the battle arena
Ruto: Die, Deku Tree! her bot hurtles towards the other bot
Saria: Mido, give me the controls!
Mido: I built them! I'm in control! Give that here! the two fight over controls
Ruto: Take that! her J.J slams into D.T, dirving it into the spike strip and under the pulverizers (hammers in corner) D.T shorts out
Ruto: Whoo Hoo!
DeadeyeDave: I declare Ruto the winner! And now, our next match…
ChaosWEAPON: Sorry. The fic's over.
DeadeyeDave: Huh? Already?
ChaosWEAPON: 'Fraid so. Back to the cage with you.
DeadeyeDave: NO!
ChaosWEAPON: BACK TO THE CAGE WITH YOU! ahem Tune in next time with the rest of Division 1 and hopefully all of Division 2.
Ganon: Who are you speaking to?
Zelda: Nobody. She's finaly lost it…
ChaosWEAPON: Hush, you! I'm talking to the readers!
Ganon: Readers?! I thought this was a rehearsal!
Malon: We don't get rehearsals.
Ganon: Then could you at least edit out that one scene?
ChaosWEAPON: What, you mean this one?
Ganon: AAAHHH! DON'T
Earlier Scene That Had Been Edited Out, But Is Now Being Shown
Ganon is sweeping the kitchen floor while dancing with the broom
Ganon: singing Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas
Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon,
or asked the ginning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
now breaks into disco moves while singing I Will Survive
At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
I learned how to get along
And now you're back, from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I knew I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd thought for just one second you'd be back to bother me!
break dancing with broom
End Of Scene
Ganon: You monster.
ChaosWEAPON: Hahahahahaha…. Ganon chases ChaosWEAPON with a scimitar, yelling about "parting ChaosWEAPON's hair"
Link: Uh…let's end the fic now.
Darunia: Agreed.
