Author's Notes: Ok, I'm going to try to finish this mini-series so I can move on to better ideas. I took the Chi-Blaster thing from DeadeyeDave's fic: it was too good not to use. Sorry, Deadeye! Please forgive me!
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda, Battlebots, or anything else that shows up here!
Chapter 8: Division 2 Semifinals!
Everyone is sitting around in some room of the castle…
Impa: Hey, where's Chaos?
Nabooru: And Zelda?
Ok, almost everyone is sitting around in some room of the castle…
Darunia: And who keeps narrating that?
DeadeyeDave: I have no idea…
None of your business, anyway.
Link: Deadeye! What are you doing here?
DeadeyeDave: Heck if I know. Chaos was no where to be seen, so I started to wander around a bit. Have you any idea how many random, unnamed rooms there are in this place?!
Link: A lot.
DeadeyeDave: Figures.
meanwhile, Ruto is sneaking up on Link…
Ruto: lunging at Link KEEYAAH! LinkieLinkieLinkieLinkieLinkie!
Link: AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHH! Someone get her off of me! no one moves to help
Nabooru: You're on your own, kid.
Link: Deadeye?!
DeadeyeDave: Nope. Sorry.
Link: Grr…Chaos?
there is silence
Link: Uh, ok…Mystery Narrator! Help me!
Ok.
suddenly, Link is handcuffed to the wall
Ruto: YAY! Thankies, Mystery Narrator! Kiss me, Link! This is PG-13 now; you don't have to hide your feelings!
Link: AAAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHH!
Heh heh heh…
ChaosWEAPON: WHAT THE DICKENS IS GOING ON HERE?!
Uh oh…
ChaosWEAPON: And who are you? Get out of my fic!
You can not get rid of me! Hahahaha!
ChaosWEAPON: Get out of my fic! Now!
Never!
ChaosWEAPON: AAAIIIGGGHHH! GET OUT OF MY FIC! GET OUT! NOW!
Everyone: looking at Chaos freak O.o
Ruto is still trying to kiss Link, who is screaming for mercy
Hahaha! Just try to make me leave, I dare ya!
Ganon: Fire in the hole!
ChaosWEAPON: RRRAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! starts blasting Chi everywhere
Rauru: WOAH!
Zelda: coming up a staircase What's all the noise…? AAAHHHH! ducks just before a blast of Chi hits her
Ganon: Drat! Missed!
Impa: Watch it, Power-Boy!
Heh heh heh!
Chi is still blasting everywhere
Nearly everyone: CHAOS, STOP!
ChaosWEAPON: NO! NOT UNTIL THAT MYSTERY NARRATOR GETS OUT OF MY FIC!
Hahahahaha! As much as I would like to see you keep wasting your Chi, I'm going to leave…for now…hahahaha!
the chains holding Link disappear and he runs far away from Ruto
ChaosWEAPON: standing in middle of the blasted room, panting Haha…hahaha…heh heh heh…heh. passes out
Darunia: Um, ok. Link; get off my back, for crying out loud!
Link: getting off Darunia's back But I need to stay away from Ruto!
Nabooru: That was certainly…odd.
Saria: Mido, stop hiding behind me! Huh, wussy.
Mido: fear-choked voice I am not a wussy!
Zelda: Isn't anyone going to help Chaos?
Rauru: I don't see you volunteering!
DeadeyeDave: Of course not! They have a match today! Oh well. Come on, Chaos. lightly slaps Chaos's cheeks. No response
Impa: Let me try…
Nabooru: Don't let her! She's still upset over yesterday's match! Oops, too late.
Impa: Hey, WAKE UP! slaps Chaos. Hard WAKEY WAKEY!
ChaosWEAPON: OW! What was that for?!
Impa: innocently Why, to wake you up, of course!
ChaosWEAPON: Grrrr…
DeadeyeDave: Save the fight for after the match, ok?
ChaosWEAPON: Deadeye! What are you doing here?
DeadeyeDave: Heck if I know. You were no where to be seen, so I started to wander around a bit. Have you any idea how many random, unnamed rooms there are in this place?!
Link: Didn't you already say that?
DeadeyeDave: Does it matter?
Link: It matters to me!
DeadeyeDave: Too bad, then.
ChaosWEAPON: still has a hand print on cheek Whoo, I'm ok now…except for Impa slapping me!
Impa: I told you, it was to wake you up! chuckles How long do you think that mark is going to stay there?
ChaosWEAPON: Not long. narrating The red mark on ChaosWEAPON's cheek was magically moved to Impa's cheek, along with the pain it caused.
Impa: now with hand print on cheek OW!
ChaosWEAPON: Hmm, pain…that reminds me…
Ganon: Of what?
ChaosWEAPON: Link's punishment for calling me a "dumb bunny."
Link: Drat. You're still intent on punishing me for that?
Ganon: Hahah.
ChaosWEAPON: No, actually.
Ganon: WHAT?!
Link: WHOO HOO!
ChaosWEAPON: People stopped sending in suggestions…
Link: YEAH! THANK YOU READERS!
ChaosWEAPON: So I'm just going to torture you at random intervals.
Link: Huh?
Ganon: Heh heh heh.
Zelda: Speaking of torture, what did that mystery narrator have against Link?
Darunia: And why did s/he want Link to be with Ruto?
Ruto: What's wrong with me? S/he just realized that Link and I are destined to be together! gets a dreamy look in her eyes
Link: under his breath Ickies.
DeadeyeDave: Can we discuss this at a later time, folks? We do have a match to do, you know.
Zelda: Oh, right, that. Should we do it now?
DeadeyeDave: Yes.
ChaosWEAPON: Ok, ok. narrating The authors and the characters were teleported to the ringside…
at the ring
DeadeyeDave: Alright! Our contenders this evening-
Link: It's not quite evening, yet. It's about 4:21, you see and evening doesn't begin until 6:00, so-
DeadeyeDave: snaps whip around Link's neck Are Zelda and ChaosWEAPON. Zelda's bot, LightSage, is a small bot with a spinning blade.
Link is being suffocated by the whip. No one helps him
DeadeyeDave: ChaosWEAPON's bot, ChaosWEAPON, is a mass of weapons, wheels, and random junk.
Link passes out. Whip recoils back to DeadeyeDave
DeadeyeDave: Mills Lane style Now let's get it on!
in the ring
Zelda: Alright, Chaos! Here is where you lose! Bring it on!
ChaosWEAPON: Just try it, Princess. Hah! Princess of- oh no! My bot!
Zelda: What?
ChaosWEAPON: It won't respond!
Zelda: Easy victory then. I'll just tear it to bits where it stands!
LS wheels over to CW and starts up spinning blade. Blade starts to tear into CW
ChaosWEAPON: NOO!
Zelda: HOO HAH!
Darunia: What the-?
Malon: What is it doing?
CW somehow drags LS into interior. Crunching and something suspiciously like chewing noises are heard
Everyone: O.o
CW spits out remains of LS and a sound like a belch is heard
Malon: Chaos, what did you build?!
ChaosWEAPON: Dude!
Zelda: AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!
DeadeyeDave: ……ChaosWEAPON wins the match!
ChaosWEAPON: WHOO HOO! TAKE THAT!
Zelda: AAAARRRRGGGHHH! Link, destroy her!
Link: ……still passed out
ChaosWEAPON: Zelda, you annoy me.
Zelda: oblivious to the "Irate Author" alert above her head Hah! What are you going to do about it, huh?
ChaosWEAPON: I might do this…! narrating So, Zelda was forced to wear Cristina Aguilera's costume from the Lady Marmalade music video…
Zelda: AIIIIIIIHHHHGGG! NO! but, it was too late
Everyone: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ChaosWEAPON: HAHAHAhahahahehehehehehe…Ok, that's this chapter! And now for the ending thing: ahem WHO is the mysterious narrator? HOW far will we get in the third division next time? WHAT will Zelda do about her "new look"? WHERE do I get my ideas? WHY do I get my ideas? I might answer these questions next time! Bybyies!
