Author's notes: Writer's block has creeped up on me again, but mostly in regards to my other fic

Author's notes: Writer's block has creeped up on me again, but mostly in regards to my other fic. So, if I write in here, I should be able to write in the other thing. Also, I like writing this. Hopefully you like reading it. A nice deal, huh? I seem to rambling again…oh well.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Neither is Weird Al. I changed the lyrics a bit to fit the story on one of those. You may recognize a line from a certain computer game in here…

Chapter 9: Division 3

Haha! I'm back! And there's nothing you can do about it! Anyway, we find the characters in a random room of the castle…

Zelda: Hey, the mystery narrator is back again.

Mido: Chaos is going to pitch a fit if she finds out.

Saria: Where is she?

As usual, the author was nowhere to be seen.

Saria: That still doesn't explain where she is.

Nabooru: She's downstairs.

Malon: What's downstairs?

Zelda: Nothing, really…

Link: Isn't that my line?

Zelda: When did it become "your line"?

Link: Spirit Temple.

Nabooru: I think I remember that…

Zelda: He said "Nothing, really…" to you in the Spirit Temple?

Nabooru: Well, not really. It was in Z64. He didn't actually say it.

Zelda: Then how could it be your line if you never say anything in the games?

Link: Because…because…leave me alone.

Zelda: Ok.

Saria: Is anyone going to answer my question?

Darunia: Which was…?

Malon: If Chaos is in the basement, what is she down there for?

Saria: Exactly.

Impa: Why didn't you just say so? She's feeding her bot.

Ganon: Feeding it?

Impa: Yep. Apparently it was still hungry even after eating Zelda's bot.

Ganon: That was cool!

Zelda: That was not cool!

Ganon: Was!

Zelda: Wasn't!

Ganon: Was!

Zelda: Was not! Infinity!

Ganon: Was…was…GRRR! Curse you and your diabolical debate skills!

Zelda: Heh.

Ganon: I'll get you for this.

Zelda: sticking out tongue Nyeh!

Ganon: grabs tongue HaHA!

Rauru: laughing What's wrong, Zelda? Pig/goat/lizard got your tongue?

Ganon: Hey!

Zelda: Yeth. May him leh gho mah tung.

Link: Pardon?

Zelda: May him leh gho mah tung!

Link: I can't understand you…

Zelda: May him leh gho mah tung! MAY HIM LEH GHO MAH TUNG!

Link: I'm still not getting you…

Zelda: Fahgehet. Duhm blahnde…

Link: Why do I feel I've been dissed?

Darunia: Maybe because you have? Dumb blonde…

ChaosWEAPON: Hey, everyone! What's going on?

Zelda: garbled

ChaosWEAPON: Huh? Why is Ganon giving your tongue a massage?

Ganon: Eew! lets go of Zelda's tongue Where'd you come up with that?

Zelda: Thanks Chaos. Yuk.

ChaosWEAPON: I just said it so we could get to the point of the chapter.

Darunia: Which would be…?

Malon: The tournament, remember? We have a match today!

Darunia: Who does?

Malon: Us.

Darunia: And who are "Us?"

Malon: YOU and I.

Darunia: Oh.

Link: Ha! Dumb Goron…

Ruto: sneaking up on Link Heh heh heh…

Link: alarmed I just heard a sinister chuckle! gasp Ruto! runs to other side of room

Ruto: Huh? Drat!

Saria: He's catching on to your plots.

Ruto: Have to get some new ones, then.

Mido: Where's DeadeyeDave?

ChaosWEAPON: Overseeing the magical cleaning elves of Hyrule castle.

Mido: Oh…ok.

Impa: Since it's the 3rd division, shouldn't we wake up Skullkid?

ChaosWEAPON: Is he still in the icebox?

Impa: Yeah.

Zelda: Why did we put him in there, again?

Impa: He was in the way, so I tranced him to sleep and stuck him in there.

Zelda: Oh.

ChaosWEAPON: Alright, peoples, let's go. narrating And so, the characters, author, bots, and icebox containing Skullkid were transported down to the ringside…

ChaosWEAPON: Here we are.

DeadeyeDave: What's an icebox doing here?

Impa: Skullkid is in it.

DeadeyeDave: Why would…? Oh, nevermind!

Impa: walking over to and opening icebox Hey, Skullkid! Wake up! snaps fingers

Skullkid: …HUH? WHAT?

Impa: The 3rd division has started, so get out of that icebox.

Skullkid: WHY AM I IN AN ICEBOX?

ChaosWEAPON: You were annoying, so we tranced you to sleep and put you in there for all of Division 2 and most of Division 1.

Skullkid: ……WHAT…?

ChaosWEAPON: You were annoying, so we tranced you to sleep and put you in there for all of Division 2 and most of Division 1.

Skullkid: obviously very angry …AAARRRRRGGG! TASTE MY WRATH OF ICE, FOOLISH MORTALS! RRRRRRAAAARRRRRRGGGG!

Everyone: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! NO WRATHS OF ICE!

The ice wrath heads straight for Link, with Ruto hiding behind him

Link: AAAHHHGGG! uses Mirror shield. The ice wrath bounces off…and heads right for the row of bots!

Everyone: NOOOOO!

the ice wrath freezes Darunia's bot, DeathMT, and shatters it into tiny bits

Darunia: AAAAAHHHHHHHHGGGGGG! NOOO!

DeadeyeDave: Darunia is no longer a competitor and neither is Skullkid.

Skullkid: WHY NOT!?

DeadeyeDave: Ice wraths are illegal. You are disqualified.

Skullkid: AAARRRRRGGG! ICE-

DeadeyeDave: You do and we feed you to Chaos's bot.

Skullkid: FEED ME TO A BOT?

ChaosWEAPON: Yep. It's a hungry lil' feller!

Ruto: Link…you saved me! You care! Oh, Link I love you! hugs him

Link: Gack! Chaos, why do you keep making me save her?!

ChaosWEAPON: Because I'm a Link/Ruto 'shipper.

Link: "'Shipper?" What does that…oh. Oh no.

ChaosWEAPON: Sorry.

Link: Sorry isn't enough!

Ganon: As much as I enjoy Link's suffering, can we do the match now?

Darunia: But my bot was destroyed!

Nabooru: And my matchup was disqualified!

DeadeyeDave: No problems. We just treat it as if Darunia lost to Malon and Skullkid lost to Nabooru. So the next match is…Malon vs. Nabooru!

Malon: Oh, ok then.

DeadeyeDave: Alright then. Malon's bot, LonLonDestructathon, is a wedge type bot with an articulated lifting arm. Nabooru's bot, Colossus, is a spinning bot with small maces attached. you guessed it: like Mills Lane Now lets get it on!

in the ring

Malon: Feel the power of LonLon, sister!

Nabooru: I ain't your sister, and your pathetic "LonLon" is no match for the Colossus!

the two bots smash into one another

Malon: Then let's see your Colossus stand up to this! begins singing

Nabooru: NOO!

Malon: "Like a Surgeon"

I finally made it through Med-School

Somehow I made it through

I'm just an intern I still make a mistake or two

I was last in my class

Barely passed at the institute, now I'm tryin' to avoid

Yeah I'm tryin' to avoid

A malpractice sue!

Hey!

Like a surgeon, cuttin' for the very first time!

Like a surgeon, organ transplants are my line

Better give me all your gauze nurse

This patient is fading fast…

Everyone Else: NO SINGING! DeadeyeDave cracks whip

Nabooru: Ahhhhh…. you think you're so tough! Try this!

Everyone: AAAHHHH! NO SINGING!

Nabooru: "Dare to be Stupid"

Put down that chainsaw and listen to me!

It's time for us to join in the fight!

It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys

It's time to let the bedbugs bite!

You'd better put all your eggs in one basket

You'd better count your chickens before they hatch!

You'd better sell some wine before its time

You'd better find yourself an itch to scratch!

You'd better squeeze all the Charmin you can when Mr. Whiffle's not around

Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan!

Talk with your mouth full!

Bite the hand that feeds you!

Bite off more than you can chew

What can you do?

Dare to be stupid!

Malon: Rrrraaaaahhhhhhggggg...the Voice is strong with this one...but you are no match for me!

Everyone: SSSSTTTTOOOOPPPP!!!!

Malon: "Smells Like Nirvana"

What is this song all about?

Can't figure any lyrics out

How do the words to it go?

I wish you'd tell me, I don't know

Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no

Don't know, don't know, don't know...

Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin'

And I don't know what I'm singin'

Crank the volume, ears are bleedin'

I still don't know what I'm singin'...

ChaosWEAPON: When did this become Song Wars?!

Nabooru: Grrr...I shall prevail! Take this, vile...singer-person!

Everyone: AAAAHHHHHH!!!! NO MORE!

Nabooru: Trigger Happy

Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel all right

Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night

There's no feeling any greater

Nabooru secretly takes out a Gurudo-O-Matic Plasma Rifle

Then to shoot first and ask questions later

fires at LonLonDestructathon

Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy everyday

DeadeyeDave tries to take Nabooru's weapon away

Well you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right

Yeah, I gotta be ready if Ganon attacks us tonight

I'll blow his brains out with my Smith and Wesson

aims at Ganon

That ought to teach him a darn good lesson

Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy everyday

DeadeyeDave takes her gun away while she tries to reload it

Ganon: ...passed out from fear. His face is a stranger shade of green than normal

DeadeyeDave: looks at smoldering wreck of LonLonDestructathon Nabooru is the winner and Division 3 champion!

Nabooru: OOHHHHHH YEEEAAAAAHHHH!

Malon: What?!

Skullkid: YOU AREN'T GOING TO DISQUALIFY HER?!

DeadeyeDave: Nope.

Saria: Why not?

DeadeyeDave: I would, but then there wouldn't be anyone left in Division 3.

Zelda: Ah.

DeadeyeDave: I am, however, going to lock you in a room full of Ganon's dirty laundry as punishment for singing.

Nabooru: What?! AAAIIIIIIEEEEEEHHHHH!

Link: HAHAHA!

Nabooru: You dare laugh at Nabooru?

Link: With great mirth.

Nabooru: Get over here you little-

Link: AAIIEEGGGHH! runs away w/ Nabooru close behind, who is holding a pair of pliers, a roll of duct tape, a rusty spoon, a container of what looked like peanut butter, and a duck. Don't ask.

DeadeyeDave: Division 3 is over. You should probably end this chapter before it gets any weirder.

ChaosWEAPON: looking in direction of Link and Nabooru, where screams of mercy can be heard I agree. That's all for this chapter, then. Bybyies!