Author's Note: About the Zujo thing, and the MegMar thing…all I can say is, It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

Author's Note: About the Zujo thing, and the MegMar thing…all I can say is, It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time. Also, I'm sure a few of you have been wondering what is up with Skullkid, Mido, and Link. Skullkid and Mido I'll let you figure out yourselves, but Link's problem should be cleared up, oh, in a chapter or so. For now, enjoy Chapter 16.

Ooh! Side Note- Two things going on. First, in the last Chap, Zelda n' Company announced a drawing contest, and yes, it is valid, and I'm awaiting submissions. I'll be taking them through the end of October. Next item- I've hinted at the fact that Dark Link gets to host the fict soon. I'm taking submissions for "guests" for D's chapter. If you'd like to be in the chapter, e-mail me, and we'll work something out.

Disclaimer: If I had any idea how to, I'd say the disclaimer in a different language. Unfortunately, I don't, so you'll just have to be content with the standard "No own anything, no sue." The songs belong to whoever owns them, FF9 belongs to Squaresoft, Zelda belongs to Miyamoto, what Mido is saying belongs to Gary Larson, "Respect My Authority!" belongs to South Park, Dr. Nick belongs to the Simpsons, Pokemon belongs to the fanatics of the world, and all that good stuff.

Chapter 16: The Sound of Music

Random Room

dramatic music plays, lightning flashes in backround, etc.

Chaos: dramatic voice Welcome to the 16th Chapter of our tale. To those of you unfamiliar with the tapestry of joy, sorrow, anger, peace, order and chaos that we, the inhabitants of the realm of Hyrule, have woven, we present to you our lives, in our own words.

Link: My name is Link. I am the Hero of Time, chosen by Fate to lead the world of Hyrule to the path of good and justice, to be the Bearer of Courage. No time or place is my own; I am the Wanderer, the Wearer of Masks, for even my face is unfamiliar to me. I am Link.

Zelda: My name is Zelda. I am the Princess of Hyrule, Princess of Destiny and the Holder of Wisdom. I have been given the task of leading Hyrule, and to keep it from breaking apart. My life is not my own; I am the Porcelain Doll, the Disguised, for I am sheltered but yearn for mystery. I am Zelda.

Ganon: My name is Ganon. I am the King of Evil and of Thieves. I am the lone king of my people, brought forth to rule and to be the Master of Power. My fate is not my own; I am the Master, the Sealed, for I am condemned to spend eternity in oblivion with the very force I sought to conquer. I am Ganon.

Nabooru: hey, yo! What's with the soap opera theme?!

Malon: And the dramatic stuff? This is random humor here, peeps!

Ruto: Yeah, what's up, Chaos?

Chaos: Oh, sorry. switches tapes in her CD player. Things instantly become funnier. Let's try this again, shall we?

rewind

Chapter 16: The Sound of Music

Random Room

Chaos: like Dr. Nick from the Simpsons Hi, everybody!

Everyone: Hi, Miss C!

Chaos: Okey dokey. To all of you who just tuned in because you were busy doing something productive and meaningful with your lives, here's an overview of everybody here!

Link: I AM NOT A PLAYER!

Zelda: I was rabid! Now I'm not!

Ganon: I have a metal plate in my skull!

Saria: Just 'cause I'm a kid, doesn't mean you don't have to respect me!

Darunia: I snore like a congested heifer!

Impa: I may be a servant, but I won't hesitate to kick your arse! Just as soon as I finish the laundry…

Rauru: singing I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and bananas!

Nabooru: Yeah, I'm a thief, but you can't prove a thing!

Ruto: I LOVE YOU, LINKIE!

Dark Link, in case you couldn't guess: I will rule someday!

Chaos: I'M the author here, so respect my authority!

side note: for some reason that we are too lazy to look up, Mido and Skullkid could not be reached.

Some other random room

Mido is adorning himself with warpaint

Mido: Eeeeny-ooony wanah…Eeeeny-ooony wanah…

Somewhere in Europe

Skullkid is shopping

Skullkid: OOOH! LIETERHOSEN! AND CLOGS!

Random Room

Chaos: Sorry about the drama stuff. I was listening to "Dramatic Music," but now I'm listening to "Happy Music," so things should be funnier now.

Ruto: And more random, I'll bet.

for no reason, Saria races by, chased by Rauru

Saria: wearing Rauru's…er, undergarments wrapped around her head like a turban WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Rauru: Grrrrrrrrr…!

Impa: Yep.

Nabooru: So…what type of music you're listening to decides how you write?

Chaos: Yep.

Link: What types music decide what writing?

Chaos: Happy music gets funny ficts. Drama music gets dramatic, angsty ficts. Mystery music gets more angst, and the other stuff like horror and fantasy.

Link: Huh. S'pose music will affect other people, too?

Chaos: I don't see why not.

Link: Hmmmm…

Impa: Well, I've got laundry to do. Anyone want to help?

Nabooru: Why not? It'll get me out of the "Chaos Blast Zone."

Ruto: Maybe I'll go read some more fanficts…Oh, and Darunia's off eating rocks somewhere, if you cared.

Chaos: Ok. Bye. Hey, Link, can I borrow your mini-boombox?

Link: You could, but I don't know where it is. You can ask someone else if they've seen it.

Chaos: Ok. Maybe Dark's got it…

Narrate-a-Verse

Chaos: Dark should be here…hey, is that singing…?

polka music is playing

Far-off Voice: singing

Graveler, Snubble, Venonat,

Mankey, Chansey, and Zubat!

Slowking, Ditto, Butterfree,

Lugia and Caterpie!

Onyx, Poliwag, Goldeen,

Elekid and Nidoqueen!

Victreebell and Magneton!

Everybody Polkamon!

Chaos: Oh…my…trying not to burst out laughing

Dark Link: still singing, and dancing the polka with a Pikachu doll wearing a Weird Al wig

Aerodactal, Seal, Machoke,

Paras, Moltres, and Slowpoke!

Articuno, Ditto, Muck,

Flareon and o Psyduck!

Cloister, Kingler, Shelder, Gloom,

Snorelax and of course Vileplume!

Um, something and Charmeleon!

Everybody Polkamon!

Chaos: thinking If I laugh, Dark will be pissed off something awful. If I don't, I'm gonna burst something!

It's time to polka!

For Ponyta and Pidgey too!

C'mon put on your lieterhosen!

And try not to step on little Pikachu!

You'd better grab yourself a partner!

Like Tentacruel or Bulbasaur! Bulbasaur!

Hold on a minute!

There's still at least a hundred twenty seven more!

Chaos: Mmmmphh…

Including Ledyba and Omastar!

Jynx, Bellossum, and Magmar!

Geodude and Arcanine!

Jigglypuff and Mr. Mime!

Don't forget about Sandslash,

Exeggcute and Rapidash,

Lickitung and Porygon!

Everybody Polkamon!

Everybody Polkamon!

Everybody Polkamon!

Chaos: stands up, applauding Bra-vo! Encore!

Dark Link stops dancing, hurling the wig-wearing Pikachu away from him

Chaos! When- ah, um, er…it…it's not what it seems!

Chaos: still laughing Then what is it?

Um…

Chaos: Well…?

You realize one word is instant death, right?

Chaos: Heh heh, don't worry, I won't tell. under her breath Yet.

Did you say something?

Chaos: Not a thing. I just came by to ask if you'd seen Link's mini-boombox. I want to borrow it, but I can't find it.

I haven't seen it. You asked Ganon?

Chaos: Not yet. I was going to ask him later if you didn't have it. Bye!

Random Room

Darunia: I'm sick of the name "Random Room." We come to the same room every day, so it isn't very random, is it?!

Chaos: You've got a point there…I'll think up a new name sometime.

Darunia: Good.

Just then, Ganon stumbled into the room, looking quite upset and confused…

Ganon: Chaos! Ya gotta help me!

Chaos: What's up?

Darunia: You look stressed…I'm outta here. leaves

Ganon: My plate! The plate in my skull!

Chaos: What about it? Did it get magnetized?

Ganon: Worse! It's picking up radio signals!

Chaos: Oooh…that can't be good…

Ganon: It's driving me crazy!

Chaos: Well, I'll go see what I can find about curing this. You stay here.

Ganon: Ok…

Narrate-a-Verse

Chaos: Hey, Dark. Just stopping by.

For what?

Chaos: Need to get into the library.

What library? This is the Narrate-a-Verse.

Chaos: I know. I keep everything I don't have any room for here. presses concealed switch in the wall. The wall opens up, revealing a huge library.

How long has this been here?!

Chaos: Since ever. There's also an entertainment room, pool…

I've been bored out of my mind in here, and you didn't tell me about this?!

Chaos: I figured you'd found it. Tell you what, I'll narrate into being an nice room for you. In the meantime, check on Ganon, will you?

Why?

Chaos: That plate is acting up. Just tell me how he's doing, ok? begins looking in the library for a book on metal plates

Um, Chaos…? I think you should see this…

Chaos: See what?

Ganon.

Chaos: Oh, no. Now what?

Random Room

Ganon: holding his head in his hands Arrrggg…urge to sing…rising…must…resist…

Darunia: enters with a yo-yo Hey, look! I can do an "Around the World!" See? See?

Ganon: will collapsing, begins singing

{The kisses of the sun

Were sweet

I didn't blink

I let it in my eyes

Like an exotic dream

The radio playing songs

That I have never heard

I don't know what to say

Oh, not another word

Just- la la la la la-

It goes around the world

Just- la la la la la-

It's all around the world

Just- la la la la la-

And everybody's singing

La la la la la-

And now the bells are ringing

La la la la la la la la-}

Darunia: Um…that's not what I meant…so…STOP!

Ganon: Never! starts singing the "Windmill Song"

Do do dooo, do do dooo, do do do do do do!

Do do do do do, do do do do do!

Ruto: Aaaagggghhhh! You're making me sick!

Ganon: Sick? I make you sick? You make me sick! begins singing

{You make me sick

I want you and I'm hating it

Got me lit like a candlestick

Get too hot when you touch the tip I'm feeling it I gotta get a grip

And it's, driving me crazy baby don't you quit

You got me going again

Baby, you got me going again

You make me sick}

Ruto: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! runs away screaming

Link: enters Did I just hear Ruto scream in misery? What am I missing?

Ganon: Missing?

Darunia: Crud, here we go again…

Ganon: singing, again, this time in a slow, soprano voice

{I step off the train,

I'm walking down your street again,

And past your door,

But you don't live there anymore.

It's years since you've been there.

Now you've disappeared somewhere

Like outer space

You've found some better place,}

Darunia: Yeah, somewhere away from here. Runs away

Ganon: singing, still

{Somewhere, over the rainbow

Skies are blue…}

Link: Stop or I will sic the Grim Reaper on you!

Nabooru: Who'll sic who on whom now?

Ganon: Reaper, huh…?

Link: Shnikies! That's a song isn't it?

Ganon: drawing a deep breath

Nabooru: A song about the Reaper? 'Fraid so.

Ganon: singing

{All our times have come

Here but now they're gone

Seasons don't fear the Reaper

Nor do the wind, the sun and the rain, we can be like they are

Come on baby, don't fear the Reaper

Baby take my hand, don't fear the Reaper

Baby I'm your man}

Nabooru: You aren't anybody's man, least of all mine. I'm outta here!

Chaos: from Narrate-a-Verse Link! Do something!

Link: Like what? Ganon is singing the "Little Mermaid" theme I'm content to just watch this.

Chaos: Bash him over the head or something, just make him stop!

Link: Oh, ok. takes out Megaton Hammer Ready…aim…

WHANGO!!!

Link: "Whango?" Methinks the hammer needs a tune-up…

much later…

Chaos: Ok, we put another plate in his skull because somebody bashed him too hard over the head…again.

Link: Heh, whoops?

Ganon: with many bandages around his head So…what was making me sing?

Chaos: looking at Link I seems someone jammed his or her mini-boombox into your head…

Everyone: looking at Link ………

Ganon: …Link…why…?

Link: To get you back for the Lucky Charms Boxers jokes?

Ganon: This means war.

Link: I'm gonna leave now…flees in terror

Ganon: GET BACK HERE, KILT-BOY!!! runs after him

Chaos: Save it for next chapter, guys! HEY! PUT THAT DOWN! crasssshhhhh!!! Sigh…looks like I'm going to have to rebuild the whole castle by the time this is over…or I can just have the Magical Cleaning Elves of Hyrule Castle do it for me. See y'all next chapter!