Author's Notes: This chapter idea was suggested in a review by The Traveler. I saw it, and thought, "Why not?" And, yes, the dream was an actual one I had.

Disclaimer: No own Zelda, Survivor, any songs, or movies, Star Trek, Monty Python, Scrabble, etc. Or any of the authors I stole. Sorry, guys.

Chapter 18: Survivor!

"Out-Play, Out-Scheme, Out-Last"

'Ello ev'ry body! Welcome back. Chaos decided to bump back my 15 minutes of fame so she could do another craptacular chapter of her own. Hmph. At least she promised I could be the host when she publicly humiliates G-dog and Link-man. Says she's waiting for more reader suggestions. Well, anyway…I think she's down there in that random-room-that-isn't-really-random-because-that's-the-same-random-room-everybody-goes-to-in-every-chapter.

Normal-a-Verse, in said random-room-that-isn't-really-random-because-that's-the-same-random-room-everybody-goes-to-in-every-chapter.

Chaos is apparently looking at a map while she balances a spoon on her nose and making up a theme song

Chaos: Lessee…"Near a kinda messed-up planet a bit far from outer space…"

Ganon and Link are still in the cages. Link is playing a harmonica (still in his underwear, I might add) and Ganon is rattling a tin cup against the bars

Chaos: And, um…"Some of the Zelda characters were stuck in a Narrative place…"

Link: quits playing That isn't working very well.

Ganon: still rattling cup Did you think to look up the original words for the MST theme?

Chaos: Grr. Yes, but I couldn't find them…."There to endure the insanity of one strange author girl…" AAIIIGGHH! THIS ISN'T WORKING!

Link: Told you.

Saria: walking in Am I interrupting anything?

Chaos, Link, and Ganon: No.

Saria: Oh, good. I wanna tell you about this dream I just had…

Link: Shouldn't you ask Zelda? Or even Impa?

Saria: Impa's busy. And I ain't asking Zelda! She's weird.

Ganon and Link: So is Chaos.

Chaos: Hey!

Saria: Is for horses. Anyway, can I tell you my dream?

Chaos: Fine.

Saria: I was sitting in my room with a couple of friends, and we were chillin' ya know, just kinda hangin' out, and suddenly Klingons invaded and my friends managed to run, but I was stuck hiding behind the door to my room, and one of the Klingon warriors came in, so I punched him hard and knocked him out and took his phaser, then ran after my friends who were already across this big ditch thing next to the house so I jumped over it and landed halfway up the other side which was really cool because it was a really long jump and it felt like I was flying but anyway I ran after them but they had disappeared into a forest which I swear wasn't supposed to be there so I followed them in and somehow ended up in a men's shower room in Venice!

Everyone, including those who wandered in during the middle of it: ……

Chaos: Saria…?

Saria: Yes?

Chaos: What the heck are you doing dreaming my dreams?!

Ruto: …That was your dream?

Chaos: Yeah. My dream, not hers!

Everyone: Freak.

Chaos: Hey!

Everyone: Is for horses.

Chaos: Grrrr…

Darunia: So, um, what's the map for?

Chaos: I'm plotting where to strand you all on a deserted island.

Darunia: Oh. Business as usual, then?

Rauru: Wait, run that by me again?

Chaos: I'm plotting where to strand you all on a deserted island.

Rauru: Ah. Mmmm…dessert island…drool

Zelda: Eeeww…

Ruto: And why are we going to a deserted island?

Chaos: To do a Survivor parody, why else?

Everyone: Ahhh…

Chaos: Anyway, I've got a Random Team Selector Thing *cough*pre-set*cough*, so all we need is the host…And I have the perfect one…heh heh heh.

Link: Who?

Darunia: Not…?

Impa: Oh no. Not again!

Chaos: Sorry. narrating And the victim, er, "guest host" was plucked from his dimension without any warning whatsoever…

DeadeyeDave appears, still holding a few Scrabble letters

Deadeye: Huh? Ay! Son of a monkey's uncle! Of all times, why now?! I was gonna spell "zipper" on two Triple Word Scores!

Chaos: Wow. Small world. I once almost did that, but then my brother-

Deadeye: Don't start. So, what'd you drag me here for this time?

Chaos: Survivor. Need a ref.

Deadeye: M'kay. When do we start?

Chaos: Now. Everybody in the chopper!

Everyone: What chopper?

Chaos: Oh, right. narrating A large helicopter arrived…

Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Thud.

Everyone: O…K…

Ganon: You're going to let us out of these cages, right?

Link: And give me back my clothes?

Chaos: Yeah. Let's go, everyone!

Everyone: Yay!

Day 1

in the helicopter, over the ocean…

Deadeye: Ok! We're approaching our destination! You can see out the window…

everyone moves to look, and the 'copter becomes unbalanced, beginning a nose dive…

Everyone: AAAIIIIIHHHHHH!

Deadeye: Trim the heli! Trim the heli! everyone moves back, and balance is restored

Everyone: Yay!

Deadeye: Whew…anyway, the island is right down there. It's a secret island, so no one knows where we'll be and none of you will be able to escape, I mean, leave the island…

Link: Is that Kolholint?

Deadeye: …Darn you Link, now we have to find a new island!

Link: Sorry.

Chaos: Oh, nevermind it! We'll start again tomorrow!

Day 2

landing on an island that no one recognized

Deadeye: Ok! Now, unless anyone knows where we are…?

Everyone: …

Deadeye: Good. Here's the teams:

Team 1

Chaos

Link

Ganon

Ruto

Impa

Team 2

Zelda

Saria

Darunia

Rauru

Nabooru

Nabooru: Chaos, you're playing too?

Chaos: Of course!

Link: Why'd you put me with Ganon and Ruto?!

Chaos: Because I felt like it.

Link: Grrr…

Deadeye: cracking his whip, remember that? Enough! Here's the rules:

No alliances

Ruto: But I wanted to team up with Linkie!

Link: shudder

In certain immunity challenges, some of the team members are fair game

In some immunity challenges, teaming up my be optional or required

No author powers are allowed

Chaos: Crud!

Everyone: Heh heh heh.

And no Sage or Triforce powers either

Everyone else: Crud!

Deadeye: Ok, build your huts so we can get to the first Immunity Challenge! First group done who has chosen a name gets smoothies!

everyone rushes off in roadrunner-esque puffs of dust

Deadeye: Gullible.

half an hour later, both teams, covered in bandages, arrive at the same time

Deadeye: Too bad. Tie. So, what're the names?

all of team 2 are standing like statues with identical drone expressions

Deadeye: Uh…Teams?

Team 2's Collective Voice: WE ARE THE BORG. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND PREPARE TO BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

Deadeye: O…k…Team 2 are "The BORG." And Team 1?

Link: Ready? One, two, onetwothreefour!

suspiciously familiar music starts up

Deadeye: Oh, no…!

All of Team 1:

We're Outcasts of the Round Table

We dance whene'er we're able.

jump up on table

We do routines and chorus scenes

With footwork impeccable!

lots of tap-dancing

We dine well here in Hyrule

We eat ham and jam and spam it's cool!

even more tap-dancing

We're Outcasts of the Round Table

Our shows are formidable

yet more tap-dancing, and looking quite silly

But many times we're given rhymes

That are quite unsingable!

everyone is simply staring at them

We're opera mad in Hyrule

We sing from the diaphragm so blow raspberries you!

Chaos, Link, Ganon and Impa do a synchronized dance number, and Ruto plays drums on the Borg Team's heads

In war Link's tough and able

Quite indefatigable

dancing again, marching about, etc.

Between his quests he sequins vests

And impersonates Clark Gable

Link: in a sequined vest and in a Clark Gable-ish voice It's a busy life in Hyrule…

Deadeye: Right! Stop right there! I get your point. Team 1 are the Outcasts.

Ruto: Uh, Chaos?

Impa: You can stop now.

Chaos: still tap-dancing Hehehe! This is great!

Deadeye: Er, let's just get to the first Immunity Challenge, ok?

Saria: Already? Isn't this supposed to last a month, or something?

Chaos: still tap-dancing I don't have that much patience. It'll be about 10 days.

Saria: Oh.

Darunia: What's the first challenge?

Deadeye: Well, it's…crud! Not another singing scene!

Impa: Kareoke?

Deadeye: Yup. So, to the stage everyone! Now! cracks whip

Everyone runs, or tap-dances, to the stage…

DeadeyeDave: Ok peoples, here's the rules! Each team has to sing two songs, alone or with backup. Sing the song however you want, but I'm grading it!

Link: Don't we get judges?

Deadeye: Yeah, me. Outcasts Team, you're up first, so go get ready!

Backstage…

Ruto: Who should sing?

Impa: Ganon has a good voice, so he should.

Ganon: Me?!

Chaos: Yes, you. Who else?

Ruto: I can't sing, so not me.

Link: You can't sing? But Lulu-er, I mean, nevermind.

Ruto: YOU (censored)!! WHO'S LULU?!?!

Impa: Squabble later! I like that word. Squabble! Squabble! Squabble!

Link: I know a song! I know a song!

Ganon: What is it?

Link: Can't tell. But could Impa and Ruto help me with it?

Chaos: I don't see why not.

Ruto: You want me to help?! Can we sing a romantic duet?!

Link: No…I want you and Impa to be back-up dancers.

Impa and Ruto: Oh.

Deadeye: from front of stage You ready yet?

Ganon: No-

Link: Yes!

On the stage…

Ruto and Impa are on stage, in *ahem* interesting outfits

Ruto: What do you think he's gonna sing?

Impa: Knowing Link…I have no idea.

Deadeye: Ok! You can start anytime! grabs clipboard

music starts up

Impa: Is that…? No, it couldn't be…

Ruto: He wouldn't dare.

Rauru moves in the audience chairs, turning around so he could get at his Mega-Size popcorn

Impa: Oh my gosh, Ruto, look at his butt!

Ruto: It's so big…!

Impa: He looks like one of those sumo wrestler guys.

Ruto: Ya know, I don't understand those guys. They look like they're wearing diapers, ok?

Impa: But look at his butt, I mean it's just so big, and I can't believe it's so round!

Ruto: It's really sticking out there. Gross!

Impa: He's just so fat…

Link walks out, looking like Sir Mix A Lot

Link: singin' and dancin'

I loathe big butts and I can not lie

You simply can not deny

When Rauru pounds by with no hint of a waist

And him with that round thing in your face

You get squashed

Wanna get away

'Cause you know that his butt just stinks

You can see it through the robe he's wearing

Wanna look away but I can't stop staring

Rauru I wanna get away from ya

Butt wouldn't fit in your picture

My friends tried to warn me

'Bout that butt you got

Fat but you're still hungry

Your skin's jiggly and rubbery

You say you wanna eat more, well you'll get bigger

Butt's already so big it could host it's own kegger

Everyone's mouths hang open as they watch Impa and Ruto dance, and how Rauru's face is slowly turning purple

I've seen you dancin'

Your butt hampers your prancin'

You're fat, fat, weigh more than a two-ton 'Vette

I'm tired of magazines

With food pictures chewed out that's the thing

Next to the average man you'll see that

You pack way too much back

Link and the girls bow, then exit

Everyone: …… O.o

Rauru: ……!~_~!

Deadeye: looking at Rauru's expression O..k…@_@

Link: What's with all the symbols?

Ruto: Beats me.

Impa: Let's get out of here. they go sit down in the audience

Meanwhile, backstage…

Ganon: I can't do it!

Chaos: You have to!

Ganon: No!

Chaos: Yes!

Ganon: No!

Chaos: Yes!

Ganon: No!

Chaos: Yes!

Ganon: NO! I-I can't…

Chaos: Well, why the heck not?

Ganon: Ever since Link shoved that radio in my ear…

Chaos: You're scarred for life?

Ganon: Yes.

Chaos: We already told Deadeye that you'd be singing!

Ganon: I guess you'll just have to pretend that you're me.

Chaos: What?!

Deadeye: from audience Anytime!

Chaos: Grrr…

Back in the audience…

Link: Ganon should be ready by now…

Ruto: What's he going to sing?

Impa: No clue. You can bet it'll be dark, though.

Rauru: …

Link: Rauru?

Rauru: I'm still not speaking to you.

Deadeye: Ah, here he…is?

Chaos, wearing Ganon's armor, cape, etc. walks out on stage

Everyone: What the-?

Link: Is that Chaos?

Saria: WOAH. Ganon turned into Chaos!

Zelda: Don't be silly. Chaos obviously turned into Ganon.

music starts up

Deadeye: …Bon Jovi? What the hey…?

Everyone: Is for horses.

Chaos: obviously has no idea of what to sing Um…deepens voice To all you sages here tonig…er, day. begins singing

The Triforce power is what you sell

You promised me heaven and put me in hell

Sent me to the Void when ya got hold of me

But gone is the prison and now I am free

I've got a loaded gun

There's nowhere to run

No one can save you

The damage will be done

You're shot through the heart

And I'm to blame

'Cause you give Sage a bad name

I played my part but you played your game

You give Sage a bad name

You give Sage a bad name

A painted smile on your dead lips

Blood red stains my fingertips

Power was my dream, it was raised so high

Burst is my bubble so now say goodbye

I've got a loaded gun

There's nowhere to run

No one can save you

The damage will be done

You're shot through the heart

And I'm to blame

'Cause you give Sage a bad name

I played my part but you played your game

You give Sage a bad name

You give Sage a bad name

Chaos bows, and exits the stage

Deadeye: Alright…that was…interesting…

Ganon: coming out from backstage Yeah! That was great! mimes a gun with his fingers, pointing at the Sages Bang!

Chaos: Thanks. Hey, this armor's great for tap dancing! begins dancing

Link: whispering You distract her, I'll get the tranquilizer darts.

Ganon: Gotcha.

Link backs away slowly, then runs

Ganon: Um, Chaos…

Chaos: still dancing madly Yep?

Ganon: Um…let's boogie! begins dancing also

Link comes back with a dart gun. He shoots both the tap-happy dancers.

Impa: THANK you.

Deadeye: looks at the blacked-out pair. Shrugs. Ah well. Are The BORG ready yet?

Nabooru: Yep! I'm going first!

Saria: Whatcha gonna sing?

Nabooru: You'll see. Muweheheheheh…

On the stage, again…

a lively tune starts up

Ruto: Is that Mandy Moore?

Impa: I think so…

Nabooru steps out on stage. Through some miracle of physics, she has managed to stuff Darunia into her pockets.

Deadeye: What?!

Nabooru: prances around with Darunia in her pocket

Among the many Gerudo faces

You'll find me in the spaces

See the writing drawn on the wall

Stay out of quicksand to keep from sinking

Close your eyes to keep from blinking

And I'll sing this song

'Cause my clothes are too revealing

And I know what I'm needing

Nothing but Dar is in my pocket

Nothing but him to keep my hands warm

My fingers would break without him

Tell me, how much for your gloves?

I slipped Dar into my back pocket

All I got to keep my hands warm

Dar, please don't leave me here without them

How much for your gloves?

(Nothing but Dar is in my pocket)

How much for your gloves?

Nabooru stops dancing, bows, and then dumps Darunia out of her pocket

Darunia: Ow!

Deadeye: Somehow…that was just wrong.

Rauru: Me next! Me next! Thud! Thud! Thud! Thud!

Link: He's going to sing?!

Rauru runs (thuds) up on the stage as the music starts up. He's wearing black leather pants and a red leather jacket and an "Eat at Joe's" T-Shirt

Rauru: eating as he's singing

I've never been a very fussy young man

I want some Captain Crunch, give me some Raisin Bran

Don't you know I'm starving for some Spam

So I'll eat it, I'll eat it

Don't try to argue, don't try to debate

I don't wanna hear what kinda food you hate

I want dessert right after I finish this plate

I'll eat it

I am never full

I'll eat it, eat it

Get me a dozen hams then beat it

I'll take some more chicken, got any more pie?

I don't care if it's boiled or fried

I'll eat it, eat it, I'll eat it, eat it

I'll eat it, eat it, I'll eat it, eat it

My table manners, they're a crying shame

I play with my food, it's a real fun game

But if I starve to death then you'll be to blame

I'll eat it, eat it

You better listen and do what you're told

Since you haven't touched that tuna casserole,

Mind if I chow down before it gets cold?

I'll eat it.

Rauru tries to bow, but since he doesn't have a waist, he topples over

Boom!

Deadeye: That was even more wrong. Immunity goes to the Outcasts!

All of Outcasts Team: YAY! victory dance

Deadeye: I've had enough dancing for one day. cracks whip Stoppit!

Ganon: Chaos, can I have back my armor?

Chaos: But I like it!

Deadeye: Ok, BORG, you hafta vote out a member.

Nabooru: Now?!

Deadeye: No, when we meet later tonight. For now, go back to your separate villages.

Later, in the BORG Collective…

Saria: humming Hm hm hm hmm hm hm hmhm hm…

Rauru: THAT'S THE SONG LINK WAS SINGING, ISN'T IT?!?!?!

Saria: Uh, yes…

Rauru: Grrrrr…!

Saria: I'll just go over…here…now…

Saria, on the way to somewhere else, trips over some scattered rocks

Saria: Woah! Whew, that was close.

Darunia: Aiigghh! My rock garden! You've ruined it!

Saria: Sorry!

Darunia: Grrrr…!

Saria: Aaahh! runs away

Saria seeks refuge in Zelda's hut.

Saria: Zelda! I was walking along and humming and Rauru almost bit my head off for no reason and then when I walked away I tripped over Darunia's rock garden and almost broke my neck and he yelled at me so I came in here and did I ever tell you about this weird dream I had Chaos says it's her dream but in this dream I was sitting in my room with a couple of friends, and we were chillin' ya know, just kinda hangin' out, and suddenly Klingons invaded and my friends managed to run, but I was stuck hiding behind the door to my room, and one of the Klingon warriors came in, so I punched him hard and knocked him out and took his phaser, then ran after my friends who were already across this big ditch thing next to the house so I jumped over it and landed halfway up the other side which was really cool because it was a really long jump and it felt like I was flying but anyway I ran after them but they had disappeared into a forest which I swear wasn't supposed to be there so I followed them in and somehow ended up in a men's shower room in Venice!

Zelda: ZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZzzzz…

Saria: ……

Meanwhile, in the Outcasts' Camp…

a victory celebration is well underway

Link: Truth or Dare, guys! Everybody gets one Truth and one Dare!

Everyone: Yeah!

Link: Ok, um, Chaos! Truth or dare!

Chaos: Um, gee, uh…Truth!

Link: Sissy. Chaos…aw, crud I can't think of one! Someone help me out!

Impa: whispers in Link's ear

Link: Perfect! Chaos, since the dream Saria, uh, shared was yours, then what was your strangest?

Chaos: Well…I think that one was my strangest. Unless you count the one where everything was polygonal and it looked like I was inside FF7, and I was at summer camp (I've never been to one) and we were about to leave but I lost my retainer, so I was looking everywhere for it.

Link: …That's it?

Chaos: Yup. Ok, Ruto! Truth or Dare!

Ruto: Dare! Dare!

Chaos: Ok! Ruto, I dare you to dress as someone in this room, other than yourself! And you have to imitate them for the rest of the game!

Ruto: Ok…hmmm…runs into another room

Ganon: Who do you think she'll pick?

Link: Probably me.

Ruto: comes back, dressed as none other than…Impa! Hey, Impa, is this supposed to be a katana you've got strapped to your bum, or bicycle handles?

Impa: Not telling.

Ruto: Hmph. Link, Truth or Dare!

Link: Crud.

Chaos: Hahaha! Either way, she's got you!

Link: I know. Dare.

Ruto: I dare you to kiss me!

Link: Ok! gets up…and kisses Impa!

Impa: Wow…!

Ruto: AY! You were supposed to kiss me!

Link: But you're Impa! So, I kissed Impa!

Impa: Heh heh heh…

Link: Speaking of which, Ganon! Truth or Dare!

Ganon: Um, Dare!

Link: I dare you to…whispers to Ganon

Ganon: Grrr. Ok…

In the BORG Collective…

sort of a post-defeat meeting

Zelda: I can't believe we lost…

Darunia: Now someone has to be voted out…

Saria: What do you suppose the Outcasts are doing…?

Just then, Ganon enters to complete his dare…

Ganon: wearing a sign that says VICTORY

I had visions I was in them I was looking into the mirror

To see a little bit clearer

The rotten little losers behind me

Tastebuds have memories

I can't forget the taste of your defeat

And since I feel a bit naughty

I'll run it up the flagpole to see

That everyone knows that you lost, 'cause…

everyone begins to chase him, and he runs, still singing

Ganon: Paranoia! Paranoia! Everybody's coming to get me! stops singing Run run run, as fast as you can, but you won't catch me, I'M THE GINGERBREAD MAN! blows raspberry

Back in the Outcasts' Camp, Ganon has returned…

Ganon: Hehehe! That was fun!

Link: Ya got it on tape, right?

Ganon: Of course! Ok, Impa, Truth or Dare!

Impa: Dare your worst.

Ganon: I dare you to…drink as much hot sauce as you can!

Impa: What?!

Ganon: Do it!

Impa: Very well…gets the Super-Hot Sauce Bottoms up! guzzle, guzzle

Everyone: gasp!

Impa: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!!!!!! Bugger, that's HOT! AAHHGG!

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Impa: Oooooooohhh…Chaos! Your turn for a dare!

Chaos: Ach. Dare away!

Impa: I dare you…to…to…

Ruto: whispers something

Impa: Great! Chaos, I dare you to give Link a makeover!

Link: WHAT?!

Chaos: WHAT?! I know nothing of makeup!

Impa: Too bad.

Chaos: Alright. I'll need someone's makeup case, though…

Impa: Here. gives her a makeup case

Chaos: Thanks. C'mere, Link!

20 minutes later…

Link: his hair has been dyed into a rainbow, and cut to a mohawk. He has on badly smeared lipstick, blue blush, and black eyeshadow I hate you.

Chaos: Hehehehehehe! Ruto, Truth time!

Ruto: Okies!

Chaos: blinks Ok…Ruto, what's your second most precious possession?

Ruto: That would be my copy of the video you made when you punished Link by making him fall in love with me.

Link: And let us never talk of that again.

Ruto: Hmmm…Ganon! Truth!

Ganon: Truth then.

Ruto: What did you do while you were in the Void?

Ganon: Learned to play the guitar.

Ruto: Oh.

Ganon: Truth time for you, Impa! If you're supposed to be guardian of the royal family, you should know this.

Impa: Ask.

Ganon: Why is the royal crypt infested with ReDeads and filled with acid?

Link: I wouldn't mind knowing that as well!

Impa: Well, the man who built the crypt was a schizophrenic, and didn't know his alternate persona was a thief. So when he found items from the royal crypt in his possession all the time, he started booby trapping the crypt, but since he knew what the traps were, his other self could disarm them. Eventually, he filled the crypt with acid and some ReDeads, and we never heard of him again.

Link: Oh.

Impa: Your Truth, Link. If you had to get married today, who would you choose?

Link: Uh…

Ruto: Pickmepickme!

Link: I'd choose-

Deadeye: Ay! It's time for the meeting!

Ruto: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Deadeye: What?

Ruto: YOU RUINED IT! HE WAS GONNA PICK ME I KNOW IT!

Deadeye: I sense I've interrupted something…

After they calmed Ruto down, and bandaged Deadeye, the meeting began…

Deadyey: Ok everyone! The Outcasts have Immunity, so the BORG must now vote out one of their own! To the voting stations, BORG!

Darunia's Vote: Saria

Darunia: She doesn't work with the team, and there's no real use in keeping her around. I voted Saria.

Zelda's Vote: Saria

Zelda: I had this really weird dream involving Klingons and Venice, then I found out it was because Saria told me it while I was sleeping. If she's going to mess with people's dreams, then she can do it somewhere else. I vote Saria.

Rauru's Vote: Saria

Rauru: She's laughing at me behind my back, I know it! I vote Saria.

Nabooru's Vote: Saria

Nabooru: An island like this is no place for children. Saria must go, for her own good.

Saria's Vote: Saria

Saria: We vote for who we want to win, right? Isn't that how this works? I vote for myself then.

Deadeye: And the results are…unanimous! Saria's out of here!

Saria: WHAT?!

Deadeye: Everybody voted against you Sar. Tough luck.

Saria: …YOU (censored)!!!

Deadeye: No need for that. Chaos, you're a contestant, so may I?

Chaos: You may.

Deadeye: narrating Saria was sent back to the castle to wait for the end of the game…

Saria: Noooooooooo!

Deadeye: Hehehe, that's kind of fun.

Chaos: Isn't it though?

Deadeye: Well, everyone should go back and get some sleep. Tomorrow's another day!

Nabooru: Obviously.

Day 3

In the Outcasts Camp…

the remains of the victory party can be seen, seeing as that they're not invisible or anything, so of course they can be seen. Link is still wearing the makeup and haircut

Everyone: ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz…

Deadeye: GOOOOOOOOD-MOOOOOOOOOOOOORNING!!!

Everyone: Aaaaahhhh!

Deadeye: Time to get up. Make yourselves some breakfast, then meet down at the Challenge area in, say, two hours. K? Good! Bye!

Everyone: …

Chaos: Well, that was abrupt.

Link: Anyone in here know how to cook?

everyone stares at Impa

Impa: sigh Very well, I'll cook…but I expect help!

And, in the BORG Collective…

everyone is still asleep. Rauru takes up half the hut, Zelda has her own curtained-off corner, and Darunia is, once again, in Nabooru's pockets

Nabooru: waking up Uhg…ahy?…huh? Ay! Darunia, what are you doing in my pockets?!

Darunia: But it's so comfy!

Deadeye: And that's even more wrong. Everybody, GET UP! GREET THE DAY! Then be at the challenge area in two hours. Cheerio!

Rauru: ZZZZzzzz…mmm…Cheerios…ZZZzzz…

Two hours later, at the Immunity Cove…

Both teams have assembled and are waiting for Deadeye, who's looking at the notecard for the challenge's directions

Deadeye: Hmmm…

Everyone: …

Deadeye: Hmmm…

Everyone: …

Deadeye: Hmmm…

Everyone: …Soooooooo…?!

Deadeye: Huh? Oh. Today's Immunity Challenge is certainly…odd.

Zelda: So will you tell us what it is already?

Deadeye: Alright. You all have 2 hours to catch as many as you can.

Nabooru: As many what?

Deadeye: Bosses. This is Boss Wrangling Challenge. cracks whip GO!

everyone is stunned for a minute

Chaos: looks at Ganon …grabs him GOT ONE!!

Ganon: Hey!

Chaos: Is for horses.

Ganon: Is this legal?

Deadeye: I'll allow it!

Chaos: Yay! puts Ganon into the Outcasts' Boss Holding Chamber

Ganon: I'll get you for this…

Meanwhile…

Link is hunting through the jungle

Link: This'll be easy! I catch these guys for a living!

there is a rustle in the bushes

Link: Gasp! There's one now! Come out and show yourself!

Small Thing From Bushes: leaping out YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Link: EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!!

Elsewhere…

Darunia is in a clearing

Darunia: Do I hear…drums…?

there is a drumming sound

Darunia: That beat…it's so…WOW!! WHAT A HOT BEAT!! begins doing that silly dance of his

Bongo Bongo: drumming the ground with his hands Yeah! Hot beat!

(A/N: Does BB even have a mouth?! How does he talk?!)

the two dancing sillysters dance their merry way to the BORG Containment Room

And, somewhere else…

Zelda walks into a smaller clearing. The ground is wet.

Zelda: Hmm. Got to be one here…I heard some really disgusting slobbering and belches earlier…walks deeper into clearing RAURU?!

Rauru is sitting on a rock. A round grape-ish bob is next to him

Rauru: belch Yum!

Zelda: What the…recognizes grape-like orb OH MY GOSH RAURU, YOU ATE MORPHA?!?!?!

Rauru: Morpha? I thought it was Jell-O!

And, checking up on Ruto…

Ruto is, naturally, in a pond. A large pond.

Ruto: speaking Zoran, 'cause she's underwater Kee! Kee! Yah-kee! (Translation: I saw something in the water. Yah-kee!)

JAWS theme! Dun dun dun dun dun dundundundun!

Ruto: Kiiish? (Translation: Huh?)

a black shape creeps up

Ruto: …? (Translation: …!)

Gyorg: Krrrrrr-kkii-ththththt-kkkrrrrggg! (Translation: We must have lunch sometime!)

Ruto: KEEEEEEEEEEEE-YAAH!! (Translation: KEEEEEEEEEEEE-YAAH!!)

Back to Link…

Link: Ok don't panic there's something out here stalking me and it's really scary and it's stalking me. pause I'M PANICKING!!! AAAHHH!!

dull thuds are heard

Link: It's coming back it's coming back oh no oh no what'll I do what'll I do?! I know…RUN!!

Ghot crashes through the bushes, doing that cool Ghot roar!

Link: being chased by Ghot, don't ask me how Link's fast enough to race him AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

And, to check up on Z again…

Zelda: I can't believe…oh, wait, yes I can believe Rauru ate Morpha!

rustling is in a bush…again…

Zelda: It must be a Boss! Gasp!

rustling is also in another bush

Zelda: There's two of them…begins twitching in panic

Odowola: leaping out of bush um, whatever that Odowola-type roar is. I can't spell it.

Majora Incarnation: leaping out of other bush sigh, again, the Majora Incarnation type high-pitched squeaks. I can't spell those either.

Zelda: If I stay quiet, maybe they won't see me…

Odowola: I'm making up the sound, ok? Kyuuna! Kyuuna! Ahvitahsoy! Ahvitahsoy! swings sword

Majora: making these up too Keeou-kut! Kut! Kut! Neee-hee! does that silly-looking dance he does when he's not running around like mad

Zelda: ……

Suddenly, both Bosses realize Zelda is there…

Zelda: $#*!

Heh heh heh. What's Nabooru doing, hmmm…?

Nabooru has drifted over to the more desert-like parts of the island, naturally

Nabooru: Not a Boss in sight…

Wham!

It seems as though Nabooru ran smack into something. Or, rather, an angry someone

Volvagia: GRRRRR!!!

Nabooru: Uh..um…ulp Grrr?

Volvagia: Grrr? GRR! GR?

Nabooru: Grrr! Gr-grr grr!

Volvagia: GRR!

they both walk or fly back to the BORG Containment Room, Grrr-ing all the way

And, how about Impa?

Impa is stalking the jungle

Impa: I am a warrior. I am a warrior. I fear nothing. I am a warrior…

a rustling in the bushes. Again.

Impa: …!

Skullkid: leaping out of bushes YEEEE! BOOOYAAAA!!

Impa: Oh, it's you.

Skullkid: WHAT? YOU'RE NOT SCARED?

Impa: No.

Skullkid: OH.

Impa: Hey…you're a Boss, right?

Skullkid: WELL…I WAS THE MAIN ENEMY FOR A BIT…WHY?

Impa: Oh, nothing. Sleep now.

Skullkid: HUH-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…

Impa slings Skullkid over her shoulder and marches back to the Outcasts' Boss Holding Chamber

Oooh, time's almost up. To the Immunity Cove!

Deadeye: Time's almost up…Z, Link, and Ruto haven't come back…

Ganon: from cell Maybe they were killed! Heh heh heh…

Don't get your hopes up. Here comes Z now…

Ganon: Drat.

As promised, Zelda comes back, holding the hands of Odowola and Majora. They kinda look like a scene from Wizard of Oz…

Zelda, Odowola, and Majora: Heroes, Bosses, and Authors, oh my!

Odowola and Majora walk into their cages and wave goodbye to Zelda

Zelda: I made some new friends!

Deadeye: That's…nice…but where are Link and Ruto?

On the way, unfortunately…

Deadeye: a dull thudding is heard Oh.

thudding gets very loud

Link: riding Ghot like the mechanical bull that he is YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAA!!!!

Deadeye: AHH! jumps out of the way as Link rides Ghot into the pen-thing

Link: being thrown from Ghot AAAAHHHHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!!

Crash.

Link landed in a tree. Nobody helps him.

Deadeye: Oooook…that's Link…but Ruto?

a splashing sound is heard

Deadeye: I don't want to know…I don't want to know…

Everyone else: I DO!!!

In a spectacular display of Special Effects, Ruto comes riding in on Gyorg (don't ask me how)

Ruto: AY YI YI YI YI YI YI! The Xena thing-yell

Gyorg flips around for a bit, then into his stall/cage just as time runs out

Everyone: Bra-vo!

Deadeye: Nice. But you still lost. The score is: Outcasts- 4, BORG-5!!

BORG Team: YAAAAAYYYY!!!

Outcasts Team: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Deadeye: Immunity goes to BORG!

Much later, at the Voting-Out thingie…

Deadeye: Ok, Outcasts. One of you has to be cast out. Vote! Now! cracks whip

Chaos's Vote: Ganon

Chaos: Sorry, Ganon, but you're going to try revenge for the stunt I pulled today. Therefore, I must eliminate the threat.

Link's Vote: Ruto

Link: Do I really need to explain this? She makes me nervous. And I just know Chaos is thinking up ways to torture me using her.

Ruto's Vote: Impa

Ruto: Link kissed her! She's competition! Nobody can have Link but ME!

Ganon's Vote: Link

Ganon: I must get back at Chaos for that stunt she pulled! And I don't want to get rid of Impa, 'cause she's the only one that can cook. Chaos could ruin grilled cheese. (A/N: It's true! I have!)

Impa's Vote: Ruto

Impa: I have the feeling she's angry with me. Besides, she's such a fussy eater! I don't like to cook fish, then she complains about it!

Deadeye: And the results are…Ruto!

Ruto: WHAT?!

Deadeye: Close call, but you're out.

Ruto: Link, you better not have voted for me!

Link: Well, I…erm, no, of course not! whistles innocently

Ruto: I knew you wouldn't! tries to kiss him

Link: AIGH! Dave, get her away!

Deadeye: Gladly. narrating Ruto was sent back to the castle to wait…

Everyone: …YAY!

Later, at the BORG Collective…

Darunia: Whoo! We won! We won!

Nabooru: No, we didn't. We just got off lucky.

Darunia: We didn't win?

Rauru: Not yet.

Zelda: Hey…what do you think the prize is?

Darunia: A box of rocks!

Rauru: A lifetime supply of jelly donuts!

Zelda: A big bag of M&M's! And a free castle!

Nabooru: Is all you ever think about food?

Rauru: YES!

Nabooru: Thought so. I'm going to bed.

Zelda: Why so early? We should celebrate!

Darunia: Yeah! sings Weeeeeeeeee are the chaaaaaaaaampions, my frieeeeeeeends!

Everyone else: …everyone throws something at him

Darunia: OW! Fine, I'll stop.

Everyone: Good.

Eventually, after much throwing of objects, everyone went to bed, and awaited the new day…

Author's note again: Sorry peoples. I wanted to finish this in one chapter, but it was getting long, so I decided to post this part now, then combine it later, ok? I've selected a punishment too, by the way…(I actually selected it before an anonymous reviewer left a similar suggestion. Whoever you are, maybe you're psychic). Enjoy this part for now, and keep you eyes open for the next installment!