Hey, you know the deal. My job is to make you laugh with the senseless antics of this fic. Your job is to laugh senselessly at the senseless antics of this fic. I'll be getting around to Chapter six of the Two Birds, One Arrow this weekend, maybe even today (half day, yes!), but it will definitely be up soon, so please hold on!

Leena: What makes you think they care so much about it?

Me: What makes you think they don't?

Leena: I'm way much cuter!

(I sweatdrop)

Me: Why me… Bit, I thought you'd keep her under control.

Bit: Don't worry, this will be the last time…

(drags her out)

Me: Are you sure?

(gunshot in the other room)

Bit: Yeah, I'm definitely sure!

Me: All right, but just as long as you're sure…

Okay, let's get down to business.

*Disclaimer-

And now, the continuation of the continuation of…

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!

Mary Champ: You know, Bit, it's not just your Liger I want (she growls).

Bit: Yeah, I am a pretty sexy guy, and you don't look so bad yourself!

_______________

Harry: Now, you may think Sebastian here is my robot aid, but push this button, and… (Sebastian turns into a vibrator)

Leena: And what would you need that for?

Harry: (putting it in his pants) Oh, nothing…

_______________

Relena Peacecraft: Mary Champ, I'm suing you for copyright infringement.

Mary: For what?

Relena: For using my voice illegally, what else?

Mary: Are you sure you wanna do that?

Relena: What do you mean?

Mary: Given that nobody likes you, the courts would be biased, so I could counter-sue you and know I'd still get money out of it!

Relena: Damn… you're right.

_______________

Zechs Merquise: I would sue you Jack Sisqo, but I like your style.

Jack Sisqo: Why aren't you gonna?

Zechs: Because you're the only person in the show that stays true to my loner, warrior personality.

_______________

Bit: Hey Brad, Jamie, Harry, wadda ya say we all start our own boy band?

Brad: Sounds promising… will there be money involved?

Bit: Of course, it's a boy band!

Jamie: Now to assign the roles…

Bit: I of course, have to be the leader that all the girls scream about first!

Jamie: I'll be the cute youngest guy of the group that all the girls can't help but adore.

Brad: I'll be the wild, cold-acting one second to the leader.

Harry: What about me?

Bit: You'll just be that one loser that nobody likes. Every group except N'SYNC has gotta have one!

______________

Bit: Have you noticed that the creator of the Zoids New Century Zero series draws all of his women with exaggerated bodily features?

Brad: Of course! How could you not notice?

Jamie: Not that anybody's complaining, though…

______________

Brad: Damn that Matthew Lawrence! I was supposed to play Shawn's older brother in Boy Meets World! Hell, I even have his last name. Brad Hunter.

______________

Pierce: What the hell? Why didn't I get a last name? Even Stoller and Palta got full names!

Jamie: A babe like you? No guy would be able to remember it, that's why.

______________

Vega Obscura: Hey Leena, can I milk you?

Leena: No! Where the hell'd you get that crazy idea?

Vega: Well, you know that blue-haired lady, Sarah? She took off her shirt and told me to suck on these two, round things… she called it milking.

______________

(Dr. Tauros walks in the room)

Bit: Hey doc, we were just having a conference. Did you notice how well- featured every woman in the show is?

Tauros: Of course! Do you know how many times I've snuck a peek at Leena? Now I understand why Layon's always giving her flowers and stuff!

______________

Brad: The best things in life are free! But you can give them to the birds and bees! I need mooooneey!

Bit and Jamie (background singers): That's what I want!

Brad: That's what I want!

Bit and Jamie: That's what I want!

Brad: I want mooooooooooneeey!

Bit and Jamie: That's what I want!

_____________

Bit: Hey Cloud…

Cloud: What are you doing back here? Aren't you supposed to be with your father, Vegeta?

Bit: Nah, I can't. He blew himself up fighting some creature named Majin Buu.

Cloud: That's harsh… but what's that got to do with you coming back?

Bit: I figured since we were such good friends, I'd hang with you again.

Cloud: (eyes twitching) Oh no! Not again!

_____________

Bit: Do you really wanna know why we call the Sabre Tigers Team the Fuzzy Pandas?

Naomi: Yep.

Bit: They all did some time in jail, and well, let's just say they made a lot of people feel warm inside.

_____________

Tauros: Hey, Leena, you wanna see my takes on Britney Spears, songs?

Leena: Sure dad!

Tauros: You're all slaaaaaves for me. You're all in debt, I won't let you out yet.

Leena: That's pretty cool! Hey, I thought of one too…

Tauros: Well let me hear it!

Leena: Oops! I did it again. Wasted all my ammo… didn't hit a thing. So sorry, sorry!

_____________

(Jamie wakes up in bed next to a naked Leena)

Jamie: Ahh! What the hell happened?

(Leena wakes up)

Leena: Oh hey! Thanks for last night. You're the best!

Jamie: Last night? I was at home sleep, and I don't remember going out or getting drunk…

Wild Eagle(in Jamie's mind): Heh, heh, heh…

_____________

Harry: Thanks for last night. I knew you'd finally come to me.

Leena: You don't really have to thank me because… I'M A MAN BABY! YEAH!

______________

Layon: Steve, why did you go and get Leena's mother pregnant?

Tauros: It was an accident, I swear!

Oscar Hemeros: Yeah, Layon! I had a go at her too. (smiles while thinking about it) Come to think of it, everyone did. This idiot just happened to get her pregnant!

______________

Bit: Hey Cloud, can I pilot the Highwind?

Cloud: Sure… but only on one condition…

Bit (really enthusiastically): What is it?

Cloud: You've gotta fly it straight to hell, and never return!

______________

Sarah: Come on Vega, it's time for another one of our "sessions."

Vega: Oh really? Wow! Can I milk you again? I really liked it last time!

______________

(Leena, Pierce, and Naomi dancing sexily, Pierce is the lead singer)

Pierce: I want you to rooock the boat.

Naomi and Leena: Rock the boat, rock the boat, rock the boat.

Pierce: Work it in the middle.

Naomi and Leena: Work the middle, work the middle, work the middle.

______________

Brad: You remind of a girl that I once screwed. See her face whenever I, I'm screwing you. Wouldn't believe all of the things we used to do… can I do all of those things to you?

______________

Wild Eagle: Hey Pierce, wanna go sky diving? (refer to Zoids Newlywed Game to get it)

______________

Leena (calling over to Bit): Come on over, come on over baby…

______________

Leena: You may think I'm Leena, but I'm really (throws off costume)… RELENA!

Bit: You may think I'm Bit, but I'm really (throws off costume)… HEERO! (pulls out gun and shoots her.)

______________

Leena: Damn that Lara Croft! I should've been in Tomb Raider! Leena Croft sounds better, I've got a much better body, and I'm not afraid to use guns!

______________

(Naomi is dreaming)

Naomi: Oh, Harry, do it again…oh yes, yes, yessss!

Bit: You see? I tried to tell you Brad. (snickers to himself)

Brad: I can't wait to tease her about this…

______________

Solid Snake: Who the hell are you?

Jack Sisqo: (pulling out a gun) Let's just say, the right mercenary for this job.

______________

Brad: Confess! You were dreaming about Harry!

Naomi: No um, I wasn't… not the Harry I think you're talking about! I was dreaming about Harry… Potter! Yeah! That's it!

Bit: Didn't sound like it to me… could've sworn you said Champ when I heard you.

Naomi: SHUT UP BIT!

Brad: Even so, isn't Harry Potter a little too young for you?

Naomi: But what about Sarah and Vega?

Bit: What are you talking about?

Naomi: Haven't you heard? Leena's been telling everybody.

_______________

Leena: What are you so happy about, Vega?

Vega: Sarah milked me!

Leena: … I don't get it.

Vega: Well, it's a little different from me milking her. First, she unzips my pants and…

_____________

Okay! If there were too many sex jokes, I'm sorry. It's just that I'm running out of ideas, so if you review, please suggest ANYTHING that comes to your mind, and I'll play around with it. As for all the Vega jokes, I've found it really disturbing how close he is to Sarah and how well she controls him, and I know she's not his mother! For the Wild Eagle sky diving joke, please refer to my fic, Zoids Newlywed Game if you don't get it. Also, I like the Naomi, Pierce, and Leena takes on popular songs, so suggest any songs and/or groups you can think of. Hell, any songs for anyone would be nice! I could also use some more Layon jokes. In any case, moving on… assalaamu 'alaikam!

-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman