It is now 1:30 pm. I have been attempting to shoo Clu away for approximately 3 hours now. You'd think "get the hell away from me" would give the boy a clue, but no. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get a lot of things. It's a good thing he's handsome, because he's not smart enough to get a REAL job. Please. He's a Philosophy major. What can he do but teach Philosophy? I don't know about you, but I don't want him responsible for the welfare of my future children. As a matter of fact I pity his future kids. Being smarter than their daddy at age five isn't going to bode well on his part. Oh well. Where's that aspirin?

I turned around to look for it, but the throbbing in my head picked up and I was forced to lie back down in a sort of sickness-induced stupor. Clu, who had taken up residence at my desk, cocked his head and walked over.

"Here," he said, snapping the top off of the aspirin and handing them to me, "I'll go get you some water."

You know, just when you think you have someone all figured out they completely make you change your opinion of them. Then again, I suppose Clu's always been sweet and well-meaning. Maybe I'm the one who's a horrible person. Maybe I'm the one that passed judgment too quickly on him. Maybe I should be thanking him instead of mentally berating him!!!!!! Maybe I should go back to sleep.

"Annie? Annie? Annie, wake up, I got your water."

*Snerk* What the- Clu? Is that you? Why are you such a pretty shade of lilac, Clu? Why is the room spinning? Ooooh, I'm floating!!!!!

"ANNIE!!"

I feel someone shaking me. What are they doing to me? Why am I on this stretcher? Ooooh, look, a flutterby. Flutterby? What's a flutterby? Why is the room so white?

"You called us just in time, young man."

Call? I didn't call anyone. I just am lying here and calm skies with purple trees and a bright orange fish. Come here, pretty fishy!!! Mommy loves her fishy!!!! If I married Clu we could have a pet fish. I'd name him Herbert after my mom's goldfish on my father's uncle's side. Ooooh, what's this hazy feeling?

"You had to WHAT? What's wrong with her!!?"

I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of!!? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of, a love there is no cure for!!!! Ah, Keith, how I love thee, let me count the marshmallows.

"It was for her own safety, there were mild hallucinogens in it."

No, I think I'd rather swim in a sea of paint. Duron oil based paint, nice and shiny and oh-so-smooth. I like painting. I paint horsies and teardrops and gumdrops and lollipops and pumpkins. But only on Halloween.

"Did you not see that there was no FDA approved label on it!!?"

Clu, I want to marry you. I want to have your love-baby. We could name him Mitch. Or if it's a girl, Mitcha. I'd be such a good mommy. I can cook and clean and sew. You can go work and sell toasters door to foot.

"I…I…I didn't know."

But enough of that. It's time to go sleepy bye nap-nap. I want to thank the academy for providing this wig of yarn made estrogen.

"I don't know if there's much we can do now."