So Cold
By: Mizuno Raven
I am so plagued with guilt I am surprised one soul
can survive under its crushing weight. Perhaps it will kill
me--is killing me, merely too slow to observe. Either way
my future will remain unknown to me, not only because I am
forbidden, but also because I am afraid...
So deathly afraid...
-Setsuna
It has become so strange lately. It is so hard to
explain. Something has consumed me... a longing. Yes, that
is the best way to say it. Though, I cannot say what I long
for. I cannot help but to glance at people as they pass me
on the sidewalks. I find myself searching the eyes of
strangers looking for... something. All because I feel
incomplete. However, there is a deeper feeling that worries
me more. In the dark recesses of my mind and in the corners
of my heart I worry, 'will I find it?' For some bizarre
reason the mere thought frightens me, more than I could
ever say. I wish I could tell the others of my trouble, yet
I feel it would be to no end. It is not they who can help me.
A man passes me and as he leaves I wonder for a
moment if he may hold the answer. Except whatever is
searching decides he is not the key to unlocking this
mystery and I continue on my way. The wind picks up again
and a bit of cold winter snow brushes my face. It is so cold.
-Ami
I feel so horrible. What has me so down? Surely there
is nothing so bad in my life to make me feel so alone. Alone.
That is the word I have been searching for. It captures my
depression in perfect description. But I have many caring
friends... no it is not in friendship I lack. It is a deeper
connection, a closer companionship that I want. It is almost
as if I am missing a piece of my soul.
I rise from the comfortable couch and walk to the
white balcony. New snow has fallen, layering the world in a
blanket of soft ice. The wind lingers throughout the city,
dancing in alleys and down the streets, sometimes catching
snow in its play.
I wonder where he could be, this other my heart craves
so strongly. Then a sudden fear grips me as the possibility
of not uniting with him shatters my calm musings. 'Surely I
will, surely' my heart argues. So shaken am I that I return
to my bedroom, pulling the thick blankets close as I get back
into bed. It is so cold.
-Makoto
Sweeping has become a hobby. Constantly I find myself
swaying the broom, chasing dirt across the ground. It also
scatters snow before it, especially this time of winter.
Somehow it brings comfort with the soft brush of the bristles
and the rhythmic beat. It is not a chosen hobby, by my mind
or body. It is my soul who has preferred this simple chore.
Something is missing and it will not reveal itself to
me despite my attempts before the great fire. Instead I find
the broom... and sweep. Whatever it is, its lost is a vital
piece I am sure. Lately I have wondered how I live without
it. Such is a strange thought for I do not even know what it
is. Then I will always ask, 'if it is so important, how can
I not know what it is?'
I have yet to find the answer. I truly hope I can find
it soon, I am beginning to believe I will fall apart, and
that I will lose my life and warmth. Winter has come and the
snow has followed. I do not wish to fall with the winter
snow. It is so cold.
-Rei
I have become so jealous. I have become a fraud. There
is a void in my heart. There is too much wrong. I do not know
if I can ever hope to fix my broken being. The wound is too
deep, the pain is too strong, the complexity too involved. I
know Love well, and it is He that I require. Somewhere I must
find Him; the consequences of failure are too severe. I dare
not think of such a terror for it would be a living hell.
Snow grazes the glass of my window, bringing with it
the chilling wind. This has been one of the calmest winters
I have ever beheld, nothing save small winds and snow.
The constant sorrow of my being refuses me rest in
both thought and sleep. It brings out my accusing nature and
I question if it is I who must be found and not He, I wonder
if the fault is mine. If nothing were wrong, we would be
together, right?
Snow settles upon the ledge of the window and on the
ground as the wind is calmed. The world becomes a pure
crystal once more.
'Can I right what is wrong? Can I fix what is broken?'
the inquiry plagues me often. I long for its answer and the
end to my sorrow.
I listen to the wind and snow, leaning my head against
the cold glass of my windowpane. It is so cold.
-Minako
Accusing snow, oh blaming snow, let me be. I cannot
surrender knowledge that is not mine to give. I know they
feel an emptiness, I know what they are missing. I could
reveal all, ease their minds, but in doing so tear apart
their hearts and only give them someone to blame who is not
at fault. This is no excuse, true, yet it is my dear queen,
and old friend who prevents me. Though she is long dead her
presence is still strong; it is she who forbids my sharing.
Selene only knows how much it hurts to watch their despair.
If only there was something I could do. If only I could
unite them with the other half of their souls. If only they
could share the happiness they once had as their princess
now does. If only I did not have to carry this terrible
burden. Accusing snow, oh blaming snow, let me be. You are
so cold. Be gone and take your chill with you. I will right
what is wrong... someday. When the day comes, they will have
their joy once more. Leave and be cold no more.
-Setsuna
Four tears fall and from each a light is born. Their
makers are so lost within the sorrow and cold, surprise
does not visit them. Four tears fall and turn to light,
each light bears eyes long lost. So familiar are these eyes
that those who cried gasp. Four tears, four lights, four
pairs of eyes meet four more and a link is made. Blue meets
blue and both fall to their knees. Green meets green and
speech is lost. Red meets red and tears are let fall. Orange
meets orange and each tremble. So familiar and so strange
each reunion is. Four tears, four lights, four souls made
whole. So profound and strong that the winter snow looses
its chill and all through the city the wind blows warm as
it would in spring. Yet the snow stays and a woman stands
alone atop a distant hill, long hair dancing in the wind.
Her head is bowed, her posture speaking of defeat. Four
tears are shed, each as black as night, as red as blood,
each painful. A sacrifice was made, but she will never tell.
It will remain as secret as the Guardian of Time, as locked
away as Time's gates, as solitary as a woman who will never
have love of her own.
Four tears. Four men. Four women. Four souls made whole.
Four tears. One woman. One sacrifice. One eternity.
By: Mizuno Raven
I am so plagued with guilt I am surprised one soul
can survive under its crushing weight. Perhaps it will kill
me--is killing me, merely too slow to observe. Either way
my future will remain unknown to me, not only because I am
forbidden, but also because I am afraid...
So deathly afraid...
-Setsuna
It has become so strange lately. It is so hard to
explain. Something has consumed me... a longing. Yes, that
is the best way to say it. Though, I cannot say what I long
for. I cannot help but to glance at people as they pass me
on the sidewalks. I find myself searching the eyes of
strangers looking for... something. All because I feel
incomplete. However, there is a deeper feeling that worries
me more. In the dark recesses of my mind and in the corners
of my heart I worry, 'will I find it?' For some bizarre
reason the mere thought frightens me, more than I could
ever say. I wish I could tell the others of my trouble, yet
I feel it would be to no end. It is not they who can help me.
A man passes me and as he leaves I wonder for a
moment if he may hold the answer. Except whatever is
searching decides he is not the key to unlocking this
mystery and I continue on my way. The wind picks up again
and a bit of cold winter snow brushes my face. It is so cold.
-Ami
I feel so horrible. What has me so down? Surely there
is nothing so bad in my life to make me feel so alone. Alone.
That is the word I have been searching for. It captures my
depression in perfect description. But I have many caring
friends... no it is not in friendship I lack. It is a deeper
connection, a closer companionship that I want. It is almost
as if I am missing a piece of my soul.
I rise from the comfortable couch and walk to the
white balcony. New snow has fallen, layering the world in a
blanket of soft ice. The wind lingers throughout the city,
dancing in alleys and down the streets, sometimes catching
snow in its play.
I wonder where he could be, this other my heart craves
so strongly. Then a sudden fear grips me as the possibility
of not uniting with him shatters my calm musings. 'Surely I
will, surely' my heart argues. So shaken am I that I return
to my bedroom, pulling the thick blankets close as I get back
into bed. It is so cold.
-Makoto
Sweeping has become a hobby. Constantly I find myself
swaying the broom, chasing dirt across the ground. It also
scatters snow before it, especially this time of winter.
Somehow it brings comfort with the soft brush of the bristles
and the rhythmic beat. It is not a chosen hobby, by my mind
or body. It is my soul who has preferred this simple chore.
Something is missing and it will not reveal itself to
me despite my attempts before the great fire. Instead I find
the broom... and sweep. Whatever it is, its lost is a vital
piece I am sure. Lately I have wondered how I live without
it. Such is a strange thought for I do not even know what it
is. Then I will always ask, 'if it is so important, how can
I not know what it is?'
I have yet to find the answer. I truly hope I can find
it soon, I am beginning to believe I will fall apart, and
that I will lose my life and warmth. Winter has come and the
snow has followed. I do not wish to fall with the winter
snow. It is so cold.
-Rei
I have become so jealous. I have become a fraud. There
is a void in my heart. There is too much wrong. I do not know
if I can ever hope to fix my broken being. The wound is too
deep, the pain is too strong, the complexity too involved. I
know Love well, and it is He that I require. Somewhere I must
find Him; the consequences of failure are too severe. I dare
not think of such a terror for it would be a living hell.
Snow grazes the glass of my window, bringing with it
the chilling wind. This has been one of the calmest winters
I have ever beheld, nothing save small winds and snow.
The constant sorrow of my being refuses me rest in
both thought and sleep. It brings out my accusing nature and
I question if it is I who must be found and not He, I wonder
if the fault is mine. If nothing were wrong, we would be
together, right?
Snow settles upon the ledge of the window and on the
ground as the wind is calmed. The world becomes a pure
crystal once more.
'Can I right what is wrong? Can I fix what is broken?'
the inquiry plagues me often. I long for its answer and the
end to my sorrow.
I listen to the wind and snow, leaning my head against
the cold glass of my windowpane. It is so cold.
-Minako
Accusing snow, oh blaming snow, let me be. I cannot
surrender knowledge that is not mine to give. I know they
feel an emptiness, I know what they are missing. I could
reveal all, ease their minds, but in doing so tear apart
their hearts and only give them someone to blame who is not
at fault. This is no excuse, true, yet it is my dear queen,
and old friend who prevents me. Though she is long dead her
presence is still strong; it is she who forbids my sharing.
Selene only knows how much it hurts to watch their despair.
If only there was something I could do. If only I could
unite them with the other half of their souls. If only they
could share the happiness they once had as their princess
now does. If only I did not have to carry this terrible
burden. Accusing snow, oh blaming snow, let me be. You are
so cold. Be gone and take your chill with you. I will right
what is wrong... someday. When the day comes, they will have
their joy once more. Leave and be cold no more.
-Setsuna
Four tears fall and from each a light is born. Their
makers are so lost within the sorrow and cold, surprise
does not visit them. Four tears fall and turn to light,
each light bears eyes long lost. So familiar are these eyes
that those who cried gasp. Four tears, four lights, four
pairs of eyes meet four more and a link is made. Blue meets
blue and both fall to their knees. Green meets green and
speech is lost. Red meets red and tears are let fall. Orange
meets orange and each tremble. So familiar and so strange
each reunion is. Four tears, four lights, four souls made
whole. So profound and strong that the winter snow looses
its chill and all through the city the wind blows warm as
it would in spring. Yet the snow stays and a woman stands
alone atop a distant hill, long hair dancing in the wind.
Her head is bowed, her posture speaking of defeat. Four
tears are shed, each as black as night, as red as blood,
each painful. A sacrifice was made, but she will never tell.
It will remain as secret as the Guardian of Time, as locked
away as Time's gates, as solitary as a woman who will never
have love of her own.
Four tears. Four men. Four women. Four souls made whole.
Four tears. One woman. One sacrifice. One eternity.
