Title: Cordelia the Wise

Authors: Kelley and Shelley (beanyb1999@hotmail.com)

Spoilers: As if! This won't happen . . .ever! But we do refer to a few old episodes . . . mostly from Season Five.

Disclaimer: If we lived to 120, we still wouldn't outlive the copyrights of Joss Whedon. We'll never own them.

Summary: Buffy and Cordelia talk. Dawn's prostitution is brought to light. Oh, did we say that? Spike acts his age. We're not joking. Really, he does! All of these conversations took place before the end of "I'll Most Likely Kill You In The Morning." Just think of them as a pre- epilogue.

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Buffy sat at her kitchen table, staring at her hands. She signed heavily and closed her eyes for a moment. Sleep would be a good thing, but she doubted she would be getting to do that.

She opened her eyes when Cordelia sat down next to her. They both sat in silence for a moment.

"So, did you and Xander have a good talk?" Buffy asked, interrupting the silence.

Cordelia jumped. "What? What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Why?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "Jumpy much?"

"Sorry, I'm tired," Cordelia said, only half lying.

"I understand." She paused. "So, I notice that you and Angel have gotten pretty close."

Cordelia coughed on the drink she had in her hand. "Uh, yeah." She eyed Buffy carefully. "I guess. Does that bother you?"

Buffy grinned at Cordelia's jumpiness.

"Not as bad as I used to think it would," she replied honestly.

"Oh . . .good. Not that I care or anything."

There was the May Queen that Buffy knew. She let out a short laugh. "Ok, Cordy. More power to you."

"Thanks, I think." Cordelia paused. "So, Spike . . ."

"Huh? What about him?" Buffy was on the jumpy side now.

"I still hate him. Don't worry . . . " Cordelia retorted.

"Why would I . . .?"

"But he looks very good without a shirt," she said with a grin, nodding her head softly. "I mean, wow. Don't you agree?"

Buffy sighed. "You just don't know what's under that duster until he finally takes it off and what am I saying? This is Spike we're talking about!"

"Yeah. Exactly. Spike. He's very sexy."

Yep, same Cordelia. Same blunt, tactless Cordelia. Anya and Cordy should probably have a contest to see who is most blunt.

"He's Spike! How can you think of him in any way other than annoying vampire?"

"You know he's in love with you, right?" Cordelia questioned slowly.

Buffy opened her mouth to talk, but closed it again.

"Don't tell me you don't know!" Cordelia exclaimed.

"I know. I knew before I died. He told me he was in love with me numerous times. He can't love me though," she said, almost as if she were trying to convince herself.

"Why? Because he's a soulless vampire?"

Buffy blinked. "No. Yes!"

Cordelia shrugged. "You loved Angel."

"That was different."

"No, it's not. If anything, it's better."

"What's better?"

"Spike loving you," Cordelia stated matter-of-factly.

"Why?"

"Because," Cordelia began, "this so-called 'monster' resembles a human, even his emotions. You have to admit, you guys are very close."

"I guess. We TOLERATE each other. He's not human. I'm looking for a normal boyfriend."

"Riley! I heard about him! He was human." Cordelia tilted her head.

"He wasn't normal. Plus, he left me . . .just like every other man in my life."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Giles has never left you. Xander has never left you. Spike . . . well, he isn't going to leave you."

"SPIKE doesn't leave me alone," Buffy emphasized.

"Why can't you give the guy a chance? I can't stand him and even I know that you're wrong about him."

"He's a soulless vampire," Buffy spat.

"Don't give me that, Buffy! So was Angelus, and you still loved him!"

"But . . ."

"It's not different! Well, it is a little. For one, Angelus had no humanity in him. Spike does. You even heard Darla say so. Two, even without a soul, he still loves you. He has to have some sort of soul at least," Cordelia said slowly.

"That doesn't make any sense," Buffy said, furrowing her brow.

"Neither does love. But love is still love. You should know that. Love knows no gender or race. And there are vampires with feelings. Like Spike . . .and Drusilla."

"I'd rather not think about Drusilla. Look, I don't want to get involved with anyone. It never fails. Whenever I find a man, he leaves me." Buffy shook her head.

"Spike won't."

"Yes, he will! It's bound to happen. It has to," Buffy cried.

"Why would he? He doesn't have to worry about losing a soul like Angel. He's gonna stick around. He dated Drusilla for a hundred years for crying out loud!"

"He'll leave," Buffy said softly.

"He might if you keep pushing him away!" Cordelia said adamantly.

"And why should I let him get close? Angel and Riley left when I let them get close. My dad left us! I should keep him far away."

"I can't believe you, Buffy," Cordelia said, sounding angry.

"I'm just scared. Ok, Cordy?" Buffy glared at the May Queen.

"Oh my gosh. You're not scared he's going to leave you." She sat back in the chair and folded her arms over her chest and smirked. "You know that won't happen. You've tried and tried to make him leave."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked in exasperation.

"You're more afraid that he's going to stay," Cordelia responded.

"Well, yeah. He's always around," Buffy muttered.

"No! I've figured it out, so listen. Buffy Summers, you are not afraid he's going to leave. You're afraid he's going to stay."

"That's ridiculous," Buffy said, dismissing the idea with a wave of her hand.

"It scares you that he'll actually be the one to stay and you don't know how to deal with it. But you're swimming in him, Summers."

"That's what he said to me once." Buffy looked down at the table. "What if . . .what if I accept him? And he does stay? And someone puts a stake in his heart? Or he . . . what if?"

"You can't worry about the what ifs, Buffy. All you can do is try to give him a chance. That's all."

"It's crazy . . ." Buffy was still trying to get out of this. Cordelia wouldn't give up.

"Buffy, he's a lovesick puppy."

Buffy chuckled at Cordelia's comment.

"All I can say is think about what I said."

Buffy looked at Cordelia and slowly nodded.

"I guess." She smiled weakly. "I guess I could at least try."

"You'll be happier for it. Give him your hand. Let him help you. Don't try to handle everything by yourself. Open up to him. Don't be afraid anymore," Cordelia said with wisdom Buffy didn't know she had.

Buffy chuckled at something. Cordelia got a puzzled look on her face.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Ya know, when he told me he loved me, I really wigged out? I thought it was out of the blue. But then I thought about it. He'd been acting weird for months."

"Denial can be a very strong thing. So, what did he do?"

"Lots of things! Stupid stuff! He stood underneath the tree under my window, watching me. When I asked him what he was doing there, he called me a bitch, which wasn't that unusual. But then he told me I had stupid hair."

"Ugh, who is he to talk?"

Buffy giggled. "And he tried to help all these people at the Bronze when Olaf the Troll showed up."

"Olaf the Troll?"

Buffy shrugged. "One of Anya's ex boyfriends."

"Oh. Ok. All right. Keep spilling."

"There was the time me and Xander and Willow were at the Bronze. They were both away from the table, and Spike suddenly walked over. He was dressed . . .different."

"How so?"

"He looked nice. I thought he was going to church or something. It was kinda like that time I dressed Xander for you on Valentine's Day. He started talking to me out of nowhere, like we were old buds."

"Men . . . they're pathetic."

Buffy nodded in agreement.

"And then there was that time he lied to me to get me to go out on patrol with him."

"What?"

"He told me he found the nest of vamps that killed a bunch of people on the train. Of course, that just turned out to be Drusilla. That was definitely not one of his finest moments."

"Did he ever do anything impressive?" Cordelia asked.

"Well, he did let Glory beat the shit out of him when she was trying to find the key. He looked awful. Even Xander felt sorry for him. First he nearly gets beat to death and then we take away his Buffy-bot."

"Ok, now I'm really confused. Buffy-bot?"

Buffy sighed. "That's another story completely. Another of his not-so- fine moments."

Spike suddenly walked in through the back door, the younger Summers thrown over his shoulder. She was screaming to be put down, pounding him ineffectively in the back.

"I found this little bugger on the street corner trying to sell herself for milk money." He glanced back at Dawn. "What do I owe you?"

"You pig!" Buffy and Dawn screamed in unison.

Spike laughed. Dawn struggled to get down.

"Put me down before I start putting holy water in your blood supply!"

"Like I'd ever fall for that," he said, holding onto the teenager tightly.

"I'll tell the police you're stealing cable. The only time you'll ever see Passions again is in the jail cell with your boyfriend Bubba."

Buffy stared at Dawn in disbelief. She suddenly realized that Dawn actually was a fifteen-year-old girl raised in the time of MTV. She glared at Spike. "You're a bad influence."

Spike grinned, finally placing Dawn on the ground. "Yeah. I'm evil. Don't forget it."

"So are teletubbies," Dawn said. "But little kids still make fun of them."

Spike growled.

With a streak, Dawn ran upstairs.

Spike started to follow her but Buffy stopped him. "You know, I could take Angel with me on patrol if you and Dawn want to play hide and seek."

"Not bloody likely." He ran to the stairs. "I'll get you later, Nibblet! Evil's afoot and I have to beat the bloody hell out of it!"

"Bye, Spike!" Dawn screamed. "Kick evil's ass!"

"Dawn!" Buffy screamed. "Watch your mouth!"

"Spike gets to say anything he wants in the house!"

"Well, when you're over 120, you can too!" Buffy said, giving Spike an evil look.

"Ok!" She shut the door to her room and smiled. She couldn't wait until the next time Buffy got onto her for swearing. She could remind her that she was way older than 120, and could therefore say anything she wanted. Buffy had said so. Victory was hers.

Buffy looked at Cordelia. "Are you sure you want to stay here with her?"

"Please, I work with three men with the combined mentality of . . .well, Einstein. But mostly, they act like a bunch of teenagers. And they act like such babies. Ow! I got stabbed. Oh woe is me! I can't go out in the sun. All my books got blown up with the last office! Boo hoo." Cordelia smiled. "Oh, and Buffy? Don't forget what we were talking about earlier."

"I'll think about it," Buffy said through gritted teeth. She walked over to Spike, where he stood at the bottom of the stairs, still trading insults with Dawn.

A year ago, this would have alarmed her. Heck, even up to right before she died, she would have thought this impossible. Spike was friends with a helpless teenage girl. She smiled, thinking of some of the things they must have done while she was away (pronounced "dead") the last few months. Heh heh heh. She walked towards him and smacked him on the back of the head, mid-insult. "Act your age, Spike."

"Ok." He hobbled out the door after Buffy, his back hunched over. "Oh! My hip hurts! It must be getting ready to rain soon!"

Buffy turned around and threw him out the door. She turned to Cordelia. "See what I have to put up with?"

The door closed at Cordelia's uproarious laughter.



NEXT: Angel and Cordelia talk.