Mutual Obsession
Mutual Obsession
Part Two: Wufei
I was a scholar before I became a warrior. I immersed myself in the books my tutors brought me, listened intently to their lectures. All I wanted to be was a scholar, learning everything there was to learn in this universe. And then the war came into my life, and I realized I knew nothing. Meiran died in my arms, and I left to go fight in her stead. My life as Chang Wufei, scholar, was over. I was reborn as a warrior.
I met the others at New Edwards. Their intelligence was sadly misinformed, a mistake that would cost Heero the lives of the Alliance's peace advocates. I didn't blame him, though. He had done what he thought he had to, and even through his horrified shock at the turn of events he managed to save us all that night. I couldn't believe he had managed to deactivate the missiles Treize Krushenada had left in his departure, but then…Heero Yuy would do a lot of things I didn't think possible through out the war. I left that night to duel Krushenada, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa following. My impressions of each of them begin at New Edwards, even though I didn't know their names.
Heero was strong, much stronger than I would ever be. He gave his life to the war, and I respected him for that sacrifice. I always wanted to fight against him, to see if I matched his greatness, and I got the chance with Mariemeia. But even then, I don't think he was fighting at his full potential.
I respected Quatre a great deal as well. He was the innocent as far as I could tell, the blood of others never touching him. He was kind, intelligent, a master tactician in battle as well as in business.
Trowa was my first companion during the war, the one who took care of me after I lost the duel with Treize. He was the observer, always analyzing, forever the chameleon. I admired his skills, just as much as I admired those of Heero and Quatre.
But Duo. Duo was an affront to me as a gundam pilot. It's true I didn't spend much time with the other boy during the war. There was the brief meeting at New Edwards, then the time we spent together in Oz's prison cell, and finally during the last days on Peacemillion. From what I saw, though, he was unfocused. He was a jokester, and I doubted he even knew what he was fighting for. I wondered how some one could have chosen him to become a gundam pilot, how some one could possibly have entrusted him with the colonies' freedom. My opinion of him was only reinforced when he was captured at least once during both wars. Careless. When Quatre propositioned me to come live with them, I decided that I would just avoid Duo. He would live his life and I would live mine, even if we were both under the same roof.
Living with the others, I busied myself with school and the Preventers. I enjoyed being able to read through the books of my youth, learning even more things through it. And I enjoyed being able to do all that with Heero, who I more often than not found myself in classes with. Duo was enlisted in the school as well, but he was usually occupied with the adoring fan club that followed him nearly everywhere. Heero and I, we were there for serious matters, studying advanced physics and literature. I never even saw Duo crack open a book.
Heero and I often had lunch together, and we were doing so now. The school's cafeteria opened into a beautiful courtyard, and we were enjoying the shade of a eucalyptus tree during the last few minutes of our break. I had noticed something off about Heero lately. He seemed withdrawn, even for him. Last night I had gone into his room to ask about a homework assignment, and he hadn't noticed me standing at the door. His back was to me, and he was seated at his laptop, fingers hovering over the keyboard. But he wasn't typing. I watched him, sitting in the same position, for ten minutes before deciding to leave. I decided to ask him about it now.
"What's wrong?"
No answer, but then I didn't expect one. Heero Yuy was not known for his verbosity.
"You can always trust me to listen, Heero." I try to reassure him, so that if he ever does want to talk to some one he knows I'm here. The thought of listening, coupled with my earlier contemplations, reminds me of Duo. "Not like that noisy Maxwell. Where is he, any way? His fan club doesn't seem to be around."
Heero gives me an unreadable expression, then, and I look back at him, confused.
"Duo moved out four days ago."
* * *
It unnerved me at first that I didn't realize that Maxwell had gone. As a soldier I was supposed to be aware of my environment. But then I realized it didn't matter, at least the idiot was out of my life for awhile. Heero's behavior, however, continued. Three days after initially breeching the subject I found him in his room, doing the math homework we had due Monday. At his nod I sat down on his bed, unsure of how to bring the subject up. He was being silent, and I could tell he wasn't really concentrating on formulas and postulates, since he was idly tapping his pencil on the desk.
"A penny for your thoughts, Heero."
I nearly thought he wasn't going to answer, but after a few moments his voice came through the room. "I was just remembering the war."
I nod. "The war haunts all of us, really. It's a commendable thing we did, though sometimes I wonder how some of us came into the position of having to save the world."
I know I said the last part of that disdainfully, and he stops tapping his pencil, though he still doesn't look at me. "Who are you alluding to?"
I snort. "Who else? Maxwell. I can't believe he became a pilot in the first place, let alone survive the war, what with his loud personality and long hair. He doesn't take anything seriously."
Heero hasn't resumed his tapping, and I wonder if I offended him somehow. I didn't think he had been particularly close with Maxwell, but I could be wrong. "Wufei, you've told me a lot about your past, but I don't think I've ever told you about mine."
I nodded, interested. Maybe this is what had been bothering him. He leans back in his chair and lets go of the pencil, preparing to tell the story.
"I was an orphan since before I can remember. Maybe my parents were killed in the war, or maybe they just didn't want me. I don't know. I grew up on the streets, nameless, alone, until I was about five. That was when Solo found me. He was my first friend. He took me into his gang, took care of me. He was my first family. I learned a lot living with him; I learned how to survive. A few years later a plague swept through the colony. It eventually killed off a quarter of the population. Oz was developing only so many cures, and only the rich could afford them. I watched as my friends, my family, died off. Children younger than I was were killed in the passing of just one night. I had to do something about it, so I broke into the Oz labs. I stole a carton of the cure, and ran back to my friends. I managed to treat several children, but when I found Solo it was obvious that it was too late. I gave him a vial any way, but it was no use. He died in my arms that day. I didn't take the medication, but somehow I survived the plague. I was immune. I was alone again."
My fists clenched in anger, outraged at Oz, even as my respect for Heero grew. It was a lot to go through, I could imagine, and made me ashamed of my sheltered life. The fact that he broke into an Oz facility spoke volumes of his determination and skills. It's true we did it as gundam pilots, but that was with years of training, and here Heero had managed to break into one when he was just a child. The fact that he survived the plague didn't surprise me. Heero Yuy was a survivor.
"I was taken in by a church next. It was run be a kindly priest and a nun. They took in a lot of orphans, even if their funding didn't allow it. They made a way. They gave me a cot, the softest thing I had ever slept on. And I was never starving, when I lived with them. The Father was a pacifist, and one day a group of soldiers came to the church. The Father asked them to leave, and they said they would do so if I could steal them a mobile suit, an impossible task given my age and Oz's security. But I did it."
"You stole a mobile suit from Oz?" I can hear the admiration and wonder in my voice as I interrupt him, and I reprimand myself. This is Heero we're talking about.
He nodded. "But it was too late. When I came back the church was burned down. Every one was dead. Every one I ever loved had left me, one way or another. A little later on I got a job with the Sweepers in space. They had contacts with Professor G, the man who ended up as my doctor, and I managed to sneak onto his ship. I'd gotten pretty good at breaking into places by then. My stealth skills are probably far above any of yours. But they found me, in the cargo hold. Instead of throwing me into space they let me stay on. Professor G trained me, and when the original Operation Meteor was deemed unacceptable, he told me to steal Wing Zero. And I did."
He pauses in his story even as I hang onto every word, amazed at all he had gone through.
"I fight so that others don't have to. I fight so that the colonies can be free. But most of all, I fight so that no one else will have to go through what I did, so no one else will have to live my life."
"I…I never knew, Heero. I didn't know you had gone through so much." My respect for him had grown to leaps and bounds now, hearing all he had to go through in order to be where he is today. But he wasn't finished yet.
"It's only through all the death and suffering I've seen that I remember how precious life really is. That's why I smile, to remember life, and help others do so as well."
I blinked, then, realizing something was wrong with this conversation. "Smile?"
He turned to look at me then, eyes gauging my reaction. "It's not my story, it's Duo's."
I laugh a little. "Duo? Duo Maxwell? He couldn't have done all that."
"He could, and he did. His name was taken to remember the ones he loved. Duo, because Solo will always be with him, and Maxwell, after the Father."
I didn't know. I tried to resolved my image of Duo with the story Heero had just told me, and I realized I had underestimated the other boy. It's true, I never got to know him, I never even gave him a chance. I had made assumptions I had no right making. "I'm going to go get something to drink."
I stumbled out into the kitchen, still a little bit confused, and not a little guilty. Trowa asked me how I was, since I guess I didn't look myself, and I mumbled a reply. Had Duo left because of me? I made my way outside, thinking about the whole situation. When I got back Quatre was sprawled on the floor, his face beaten and bloody, Trowa hovering above him protectively. I didn't ask.
Later on, we had settled into a kind of awkward silence. We were eating dinner- Trowa, Quatre, and I. Heero hadn't been joining us lately, for reasons he still hadn't divulged. Quatre was cleaned up and uncharacteristically silent; I guess the events from before had him somewhat angry. We could here noises coming from upstairs, attributing the sounds to Heero moving around. Then there was silence, and the sound of footsteps padding down the stairs. We watched as Heero matched past the open kitchen door, a bag in his hand, and it was obvious he was going somewhere. After a few surreptitious glances around the table Trowa got up to see what was going on. Quatre and I waited awhile, listening to the muffled conversation coming from the other room, and finally the sound of a door opening and closing. Trowa came back into the kitchen then, rejoining us at the table and picking up his bowl of rice as he explained.
"He's going to talk to Duo."
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Mutual Obsession
Part Two: Wufei
I was a scholar before I became a warrior. I immersed myself in the books my tutors brought me, listened intently to their lectures. All I wanted to be was a scholar, learning everything there was to learn in this universe. And then the war came into my life, and I realized I knew nothing. Meiran died in my arms, and I left to go fight in her stead. My life as Chang Wufei, scholar, was over. I was reborn as a warrior.
I met the others at New Edwards. Their intelligence was sadly misinformed, a mistake that would cost Heero the lives of the Alliance's peace advocates. I didn't blame him, though. He had done what he thought he had to, and even through his horrified shock at the turn of events he managed to save us all that night. I couldn't believe he had managed to deactivate the missiles Treize Krushenada had left in his departure, but then…Heero Yuy would do a lot of things I didn't think possible through out the war. I left that night to duel Krushenada, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa following. My impressions of each of them begin at New Edwards, even though I didn't know their names.
Heero was strong, much stronger than I would ever be. He gave his life to the war, and I respected him for that sacrifice. I always wanted to fight against him, to see if I matched his greatness, and I got the chance with Mariemeia. But even then, I don't think he was fighting at his full potential.
I respected Quatre a great deal as well. He was the innocent as far as I could tell, the blood of others never touching him. He was kind, intelligent, a master tactician in battle as well as in business.
Trowa was my first companion during the war, the one who took care of me after I lost the duel with Treize. He was the observer, always analyzing, forever the chameleon. I admired his skills, just as much as I admired those of Heero and Quatre.
But Duo. Duo was an affront to me as a gundam pilot. It's true I didn't spend much time with the other boy during the war. There was the brief meeting at New Edwards, then the time we spent together in Oz's prison cell, and finally during the last days on Peacemillion. From what I saw, though, he was unfocused. He was a jokester, and I doubted he even knew what he was fighting for. I wondered how some one could have chosen him to become a gundam pilot, how some one could possibly have entrusted him with the colonies' freedom. My opinion of him was only reinforced when he was captured at least once during both wars. Careless. When Quatre propositioned me to come live with them, I decided that I would just avoid Duo. He would live his life and I would live mine, even if we were both under the same roof.
Living with the others, I busied myself with school and the Preventers. I enjoyed being able to read through the books of my youth, learning even more things through it. And I enjoyed being able to do all that with Heero, who I more often than not found myself in classes with. Duo was enlisted in the school as well, but he was usually occupied with the adoring fan club that followed him nearly everywhere. Heero and I, we were there for serious matters, studying advanced physics and literature. I never even saw Duo crack open a book.
Heero and I often had lunch together, and we were doing so now. The school's cafeteria opened into a beautiful courtyard, and we were enjoying the shade of a eucalyptus tree during the last few minutes of our break. I had noticed something off about Heero lately. He seemed withdrawn, even for him. Last night I had gone into his room to ask about a homework assignment, and he hadn't noticed me standing at the door. His back was to me, and he was seated at his laptop, fingers hovering over the keyboard. But he wasn't typing. I watched him, sitting in the same position, for ten minutes before deciding to leave. I decided to ask him about it now.
"What's wrong?"
No answer, but then I didn't expect one. Heero Yuy was not known for his verbosity.
"You can always trust me to listen, Heero." I try to reassure him, so that if he ever does want to talk to some one he knows I'm here. The thought of listening, coupled with my earlier contemplations, reminds me of Duo. "Not like that noisy Maxwell. Where is he, any way? His fan club doesn't seem to be around."
Heero gives me an unreadable expression, then, and I look back at him, confused.
"Duo moved out four days ago."
* * *
It unnerved me at first that I didn't realize that Maxwell had gone. As a soldier I was supposed to be aware of my environment. But then I realized it didn't matter, at least the idiot was out of my life for awhile. Heero's behavior, however, continued. Three days after initially breeching the subject I found him in his room, doing the math homework we had due Monday. At his nod I sat down on his bed, unsure of how to bring the subject up. He was being silent, and I could tell he wasn't really concentrating on formulas and postulates, since he was idly tapping his pencil on the desk.
"A penny for your thoughts, Heero."
I nearly thought he wasn't going to answer, but after a few moments his voice came through the room. "I was just remembering the war."
I nod. "The war haunts all of us, really. It's a commendable thing we did, though sometimes I wonder how some of us came into the position of having to save the world."
I know I said the last part of that disdainfully, and he stops tapping his pencil, though he still doesn't look at me. "Who are you alluding to?"
I snort. "Who else? Maxwell. I can't believe he became a pilot in the first place, let alone survive the war, what with his loud personality and long hair. He doesn't take anything seriously."
Heero hasn't resumed his tapping, and I wonder if I offended him somehow. I didn't think he had been particularly close with Maxwell, but I could be wrong. "Wufei, you've told me a lot about your past, but I don't think I've ever told you about mine."
I nodded, interested. Maybe this is what had been bothering him. He leans back in his chair and lets go of the pencil, preparing to tell the story.
"I was an orphan since before I can remember. Maybe my parents were killed in the war, or maybe they just didn't want me. I don't know. I grew up on the streets, nameless, alone, until I was about five. That was when Solo found me. He was my first friend. He took me into his gang, took care of me. He was my first family. I learned a lot living with him; I learned how to survive. A few years later a plague swept through the colony. It eventually killed off a quarter of the population. Oz was developing only so many cures, and only the rich could afford them. I watched as my friends, my family, died off. Children younger than I was were killed in the passing of just one night. I had to do something about it, so I broke into the Oz labs. I stole a carton of the cure, and ran back to my friends. I managed to treat several children, but when I found Solo it was obvious that it was too late. I gave him a vial any way, but it was no use. He died in my arms that day. I didn't take the medication, but somehow I survived the plague. I was immune. I was alone again."
My fists clenched in anger, outraged at Oz, even as my respect for Heero grew. It was a lot to go through, I could imagine, and made me ashamed of my sheltered life. The fact that he broke into an Oz facility spoke volumes of his determination and skills. It's true we did it as gundam pilots, but that was with years of training, and here Heero had managed to break into one when he was just a child. The fact that he survived the plague didn't surprise me. Heero Yuy was a survivor.
"I was taken in by a church next. It was run be a kindly priest and a nun. They took in a lot of orphans, even if their funding didn't allow it. They made a way. They gave me a cot, the softest thing I had ever slept on. And I was never starving, when I lived with them. The Father was a pacifist, and one day a group of soldiers came to the church. The Father asked them to leave, and they said they would do so if I could steal them a mobile suit, an impossible task given my age and Oz's security. But I did it."
"You stole a mobile suit from Oz?" I can hear the admiration and wonder in my voice as I interrupt him, and I reprimand myself. This is Heero we're talking about.
He nodded. "But it was too late. When I came back the church was burned down. Every one was dead. Every one I ever loved had left me, one way or another. A little later on I got a job with the Sweepers in space. They had contacts with Professor G, the man who ended up as my doctor, and I managed to sneak onto his ship. I'd gotten pretty good at breaking into places by then. My stealth skills are probably far above any of yours. But they found me, in the cargo hold. Instead of throwing me into space they let me stay on. Professor G trained me, and when the original Operation Meteor was deemed unacceptable, he told me to steal Wing Zero. And I did."
He pauses in his story even as I hang onto every word, amazed at all he had gone through.
"I fight so that others don't have to. I fight so that the colonies can be free. But most of all, I fight so that no one else will have to go through what I did, so no one else will have to live my life."
"I…I never knew, Heero. I didn't know you had gone through so much." My respect for him had grown to leaps and bounds now, hearing all he had to go through in order to be where he is today. But he wasn't finished yet.
"It's only through all the death and suffering I've seen that I remember how precious life really is. That's why I smile, to remember life, and help others do so as well."
I blinked, then, realizing something was wrong with this conversation. "Smile?"
He turned to look at me then, eyes gauging my reaction. "It's not my story, it's Duo's."
I laugh a little. "Duo? Duo Maxwell? He couldn't have done all that."
"He could, and he did. His name was taken to remember the ones he loved. Duo, because Solo will always be with him, and Maxwell, after the Father."
I didn't know. I tried to resolved my image of Duo with the story Heero had just told me, and I realized I had underestimated the other boy. It's true, I never got to know him, I never even gave him a chance. I had made assumptions I had no right making. "I'm going to go get something to drink."
I stumbled out into the kitchen, still a little bit confused, and not a little guilty. Trowa asked me how I was, since I guess I didn't look myself, and I mumbled a reply. Had Duo left because of me? I made my way outside, thinking about the whole situation. When I got back Quatre was sprawled on the floor, his face beaten and bloody, Trowa hovering above him protectively. I didn't ask.
Later on, we had settled into a kind of awkward silence. We were eating dinner- Trowa, Quatre, and I. Heero hadn't been joining us lately, for reasons he still hadn't divulged. Quatre was cleaned up and uncharacteristically silent; I guess the events from before had him somewhat angry. We could here noises coming from upstairs, attributing the sounds to Heero moving around. Then there was silence, and the sound of footsteps padding down the stairs. We watched as Heero matched past the open kitchen door, a bag in his hand, and it was obvious he was going somewhere. After a few surreptitious glances around the table Trowa got up to see what was going on. Quatre and I waited awhile, listening to the muffled conversation coming from the other room, and finally the sound of a door opening and closing. Trowa came back into the kitchen then, rejoining us at the table and picking up his bowl of rice as he explained.
"He's going to talk to Duo."
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