Phoenix Rising
Inevitable, it
comes, the sweeping rushing bitter cold. Aching. Shrieking. Shaking, tearing,
ripping me to shreds with its icicle blade.
Alone. Alone,
and thrashing nightmare monster shadow light. I am waiting, still waiting,
for your burning heat. My sun. My salvation. When I wake you are always
there, soothing, warming, mine. I wait. But the echoes mock me,
freeze me, drag the words from my lips.
Gone, you're
gone, you left me, shaking, freezing, alone. You who loved me, held me,
saved me, you, my light, my sun, my soul.
Lost.
The dark resounds,
thrums like death with the echoes of your name. Don't you know? I'm drowning,
dying, swallowed by the twilight that descends. It is cold, so cold, without
your light.
Find liberty,
fly free; soar with scattered ashes and wings of reborn flame. No shadow
shackles chain you; I have lost you now. Haunting, creeping, I lie unseen.
No more will I be your night, fettering you from the sky. Fly, fly now,
as I drown.
No good, just
darkness, just insatiable night. All I was, all I could be, falling at
your side. Tangles of liquid fire, trickling words I lapped up at your
feet. No need for the shadow, not now, not ever, not any more. For there
is him and he is your light, your darkness, your fulfilling love. Gone
now, I cannot reach you. And fall, wither, perish without.
I hate him, hate
him, hate hate hate because he has you. Hate because you have him. And
still I love him, for he is part of you, is of you, is you. I can taste
your breath on his lips, see you reflected in his eyes.
They want you,
crave you, need your warmth and smoldering words and ever after smile.
They beg for the chance, the fire. They need. But you were mine once, yes,
mine, laughing the rivulets of ice away. You were mine, my sun, my heart,
my ever precious everything. I would kill for you, would bleed, tear myself
apart to find the one you once loved. No one else did. No one could but
you…but you…once.
I need it; now,
the diamond tears and rose red petals and breath like flaming sunset. Need
the champagne euphoria river, the sunlight melting my shell like ice.
But you left,
you left me, ran onward to your newest jewel. I stumbled, faltered, fell
amongst discarded whispers and broken glass. Lost.
Twisting aching
tearing lonely, needing, grasping, but falling again. I loved you, needed
you, worshipped you. You made me, shaped me, forsook me at last. Left me
to the vultures, claimed by night's raging carrion seekers. Cast me to
the hounds leaping on shadowy tendrils of night, left me to fend against
that which you had always shielded me from. Fight, or be swallowed, drowned,
enveloped, taken.
You are gone
and I am fallen, twisted, misshapen now in the absence of your flame. No
more can we ascend to what we were, no longer do the memories whisper.
The lies we lived surround me like the corpses of years past, my echoing
puppets of midnight's shadow. What reins do I clutch, dragging me towards
perpetual perdition? What endless shadows do I rage against, where do I
fall without your light?
Dance on, feathery
light, flickering flame, burning searing endless. Fly without me, find
your new chains, wrap them about you like a cloak of possessing silk. Use
them, leave them, need them if you must. Forsake me; think no more of those
never reborn. Scatter the embers beneath your feet as you rush on, casting
no glance to the sparks that fade without your glow. Fly, burn, throw your
chains of light through the sky like the benevolent rays they seem. Rise;
rise again, from my ashes.
I will stay,
burning in the fire cold as ice. I will ache, suffer, here. Freezing in
the shadows created by your sun.
