The Devimon Convention

A/N: Just a little something I thought of on a sugar high… we've got DemiDevimon, LadyDevimon, regular old Devimon, MarineDevimon and now Season 3 gave us IceDevimon. I've just wanted to see all of them in the same place at the same time, and since the series isn't going to give us that, I guess I'll just have to take it upon myself to write it. Warning: much OOCness ahead. I can't write them the way they were in the show. It would take all the fun out of it.

~

"Gotta get the punch, gotta get the punch, gotta get the punch… but the damn door's locked! I can't get out!" DemiDevimon flew up and down the walls of the room in a huff. "I'm gonna go nuts! I gotta get out and get the fuckin' punch, or Devimon'll brain me!"

"So get the punch already, so I can brain you." Devimon flew over, a cape flying out behind him.

"No! I will not stand for this!" MarineDevimon entered.

"You're early." Devimon glared at him. "You're not due in for another scene."

"Do you think you can order me around like this, Champion? I'm the most powerful digimon at the convention, there's nothing you can do to change me. I will rule the world some day!"

"No you won't." DemiDevimon laughed, spilling punch everywhere. "I'm gonna rule the world! I'm gonna digivolve to VenoMyotismon and kill everything and everyone that stands in my way!"

"Where did the punch come from?" Devimon snapped as he flung DemiDevimon across the room. "You were just looking for it. How did it just suddenly appear?"

"The author wrote it that way," DemiDevimon growled, still trying not to laugh. "But I'm dead serious!"

"Alcohol is a detriment to digivolution," MarineDevimon chuckled. "If you ever want to digivolve, do it when you aren't drunk, please." He grabbed Devimon by the cape and pulled him down. "Go and get me some punch. It's spiked and not fit for you to consume."

"-Hic- No! It's my punch and you can't -hic- have it!" DemiDevimon tumbled from the air. "I -hic- need it to digivolve into VenoMyotismon!"

"Didn't you hear a word I said? You'll never digivolve if you drink alcohol! Now get me the punch, Devimon. I'm too old to digivolve, so there will be no problem. Oh, and don't go braining DemiDevimon, it'll be truly but a waste of time."

"What's -hic- dat supposed ta mean?" DemiDevimon barked. "Are you -hic- sayin' I don't have any brains?"

"Not directly."

"Why are you being so damn smart?" Devimon twisted around, trying to make MarineDevimon let go of his cape.

"The author's writing me like this, you fool. Now where in the name of Hell is IceDevimon? He was due on twenty-eight seconds ago."

"He's not -hic- here yet." DemiDevimon drank more of the punch, then tumbled from the air to land in a heap at MarineDevimon's feet.

"You are pathetic." MarineDevimon snorted. "Now give me that punch."

"NOOOOOOOOOO! The punch will be mine! I am the master of punch!" IceDevimon came flowing in to the room.

"Well," MarineDevimon sneerered. "Look who gets to me Mister OOC of the Week, neh?"

"That would be you, boy! You don't even HAVE a personality in the anime! Just one cameo appearance to fight the good guys!"

"That's only because the author hasn't seen him any other time than that. He could really be anything." Devimon rolled his crimson eyes.

"Be special then." IceDevimon sniffed. "I thought this was going to be a convention, or at least a halfway-decent party. Instead… what is this? What is this? This is nothing! It's not worth it! I should just leave right now and get it over with!"

"I'm leaving den!" DemiDevimon managed to get back into the air. "Dere's no -hic- point in stayin' around for de likes of you guys since dis party clearly -hic- is shot!"

"It's not a party," Devimon snapped. "Being the basis for all of you, I designed and organised this, and I say it's a convention!" he yanked on his cape, tring to get it out of MarineDevimon's hands, but failed. "We will stay here and discuss the issues at hand, before I get really upset."

"Nobody cares if you get upset Devimon, we can't stand you you're a stuck- up stuffed shirt and you're being a pain in the ass see if we care or listen to you this is no convention it doesn't even deserve to be called a party and I'm leaving now I can't stay if I want to digivolve into VenoMyotismon and take over the world and be powerful and all that shit you see if I don't—"

"But damn it DemiDevimon, at least take a breath or speak using a little punctuation here!" MarineDevimon let go of Devimon's cape and he landed, in a heap, on the floor. "I think we should just have a contest for the most OOC guy here and be done with it. There's nothing valuable for us to do with our time, but we may as well use it." He sighed and leaned against a wall that had appeared out of nowhere.

"This whole –hic- fic is getting too out of hand."

MarineDevimon snorted. "You're one to talk. I wish LadyDevimon were here, I could use some proper company."

"Dat's –hic- pretty damn funny you thing so!"

"Don't you mean think so?" Devimon kicked DemiDevimon across the room. "You're too drunk. Go get some coffee or something."

DemiDevimon smacked the wall hard and slid down it, his eyes going out of focus.

"I think you just may have kicked him a little too hard." IceDevimon flopped down on the couch. "Maybe we could play soccer after he sobers up."

"Then he'll feel it." MarineDevimon blinked.

IceDevimon grinned cruelly. "That's the whole point. Or are your sensibilities too delicate for such an operation. What's the matter, Marine boy? Not Devimon enough for us? Is that it? You're not good enough!"

"Damn it, I know my priorities!" MarineDevimon lashed out to catch IceDevimon's foot with a tentacle and flung him out the window, which shattered as IceDevimon flew through it.

"You males are so boorish. Is it any wonder that I almost skipped this thing entirely? You're pathetic. Get over here Devimon I need a pretty stiff drink."

Devimon laughed unpleasantly. "MarineDevimon here was just saying how much he was missing you and wanted to see you…"

MarineDevimon clubbed Devimon to the floor. "Pervert! That's not what I meant and you damn well knew it!"

Suddenly, amongst all of the commotion, the author realized that the story was going nowhere and decided to stop.