Open Your Soul
by: Serena-chan
Christmas morning dawned clear and bright on Hogwarts. Fresh snow was falling, steadily blanketing the ground for the snowball fight they would have later. Everyone got up and exchanged gifts.
Harry forced a smile as he opened his gifts from his friends. He grinned back at them when they opened the gifts from him. At the feast, he ate extra, just so no one would notice the glum mood he was in.
After the feast, all the Weasleys and Hermione trooped outside for yet another snowball fight. Harry told them that he had a stomache ache from eating so much and decided to stay inside. The others were disapointed, but didn't argue.
Ginny went out with them for a bit, but was soon ignored. Ron and Hermione were in deep conversation as they built a snowman, probably flirting like mad, and the twins were having a fierce snow battle, using magic to make snowballs fly at the other from behind. No one noticed when she slipped back inside. She felt a bit hurt by this, but shook it off, reminding herself that they didn't mean to forget her, they just got distracted.
She hurried up to her dormitory and changed out of her cold, wet clothes into a knee-length navy blue pleated skirt and a dark red fuzzy sweater that her mother had sent for her. She carefully reached under her pillow and removed a small package. Walking very slowly, she made her way down the stairs.
She found Harry sitting alone in the common room. He had his chin propped up on his hand, gazing out the window at the twins' snowball fight. (Although, he didn't really seem to be seeing anything but what he was imagining in his own mind.) He had the saddest expression that she had ever seen etched deep into his face.
She began to have doubts about her mission. How could she, little Ginny Weasley, make the great Harry Potter feel better? This was crazy! To think that he would even listen to her!
But she looked at the sad look on Harry's face, and she told herself sternly, No, this isn't the 'great Harry Potter.' This is just Harry, the boy I love. He's miserable, and I'm the only one that's noticed. I at least have to try.
Tucking the package, which had begun trembling in her hand because she was so nervouse, into her pocket, she started toward him. She could feel the color rising to her cheeks as she neared him, but she didn't stop until she had reached the table he was sitting at.
"H-hello, Harry." she started, stammering at first because she hadn't planned out what she was going to say. Her voice seemed to break him out of his trance, and he looked up at her, putting on one of those fake smiles that never reached his eyes.
"Hullo, Ginny." He said.
"Mind if I sit down?" she asked. Harry nodded, and she sat in a chair opposite of him.
"Harry, may I talk to you about something?" her voice was so serious. Harry looked at her startled. Ginny, who was always smiling, was now very serious, sad even.
"Sure, Ginny." Harry responded quickly, "You can talk to me about anything."
"Harry..." this was to hard to say, she hadn't expected it being this difficult to get out, "I know you're still upset about Cedric." Harry froze, "I-I've been watching you, not spying really, just noticing things. That fake smile may fool the rest of the world Harry Potter, but it isn't going to fool me. I know that I have no place in even mentioning this to you, but you really need to talk to someone about this! It's eating you away! This isn't healthy!"
Harry sat there for a long time, staring at her. At last he lowered his eyes to look at the table. "How did you know?" he asked in a voice so soft that he himself could barely hear it, "Was I really that obvious?"
"No, you did a really good job of hiding it. The only reason I realized it was because I had that same exact look my whole second year, right after the chamber of secrets." Harry's eyes soften when she said this. "You've got to do something about this. You can't just keep being miserable for the rest of your life! Cedric wouldn't want that, would he?"
"T-there's n-no one I can t-talk to." He said, his voice breaking. Ginny looked at him closely and realized in alarm that he was crying. "I've tried to talk to people so many times, but they always acted differently around me. I didn't want that! I just-"
"Just wanted someone to listen to you." Ginny finished, "You tried talking to them, but when you did they treated you differently, like you were about to break at any second."
Harry looked up at her with suprise showing through his tears. Ginny gave him a small, wry smile, "Harry, let me tell you something. After the chamber of secrets, I was a wreck. I felt so horrible. It was me who caused all that trouble in the school. I attacked all those people. I caused all that destruction and worry. I nearly got the school shut down! I was miserable, all because I started writing in that diary.
"I started writing in it, because I had no friends at school. No one wanted to talk to quiet little Ginny, with her hand-me-down robes and falling apart books. So, when the diary became my only friend, I used it as much as possible.
"After the chamber incident, my family all walked on eggshells around me. When they spoke to me, they were so sympathetic and tried to pity me. I didn't want their pity, I wanted someone to talk to. But none of them would ever understand. None of them had been through what I had. They just wouldn't get it!
"I managed to get things back to normal by faking smiles, eating a little more, and doing some of my normal activities. My family treated me just like they always did, but I wasn't happy.
"When I came back to school, if people hated me before, they really hated me now. The ones that didn't hate me, were afraid of me. I began to sink deeper and deeper into depression.
"Then, at Christmas, Fred gave me a regular muggle diary. I think he meant it as a joke. I was very weary of it at first. Because, understandably, I didn't trust it. Then, I remembered how good it was to put down all my worries on paper. So, I got over my fears of diarys, and I wrote down everything. It felt so good to get it all down, almost like I was pulling all the sadness out of my soul. I wrote every day, and I slowly got better. You see, you just have to find a way of expressing your sorrow rather that letting it build up inside you."
Harry had remained silent and let her ramble. Now, he paused so long that Ginny didn't think he was going to answer, "I had no idea that you felt that way, Ginny." He paused again, beginning to look even more hopeless, "I just don't know what to do."
"Here," said Ginny, pulling the package from her pocket and pushing it into his hands, "I have something for you. Just call it a Christmas gift."
"What is it?" Harry asked, turning it over in his hands.
"Just open it, silly!" said Ginny. (Who, by this point, was starting to get comfortable talking to Harry.) Harry slowly pulled off the red and gold wrappings. A small notebook fell into his hands. The cover was bound in dark blue cloth with stars on it, resembling the night sky. It had a silver lock with lined paper inside. Harry turned the gift silently over in his hands, not sure what to say.
"There, now you can start to write your own feelings down." Ginny said, "I realize keeping a diary is a kind of girlish thing to do, but it helps. It really does! The notebook's a muggle one, but I magiced the lock so that it only opened when you said the password."
"What's the password?"
"It's ame, which means 'soul' in French"
Harry stared at the book a moment longer before spluttering, "Thanks so much, Ginny. You have no idea how much this means to me."
She stood and so did he, "Just remember," she said, "the hardest part of writing is getting started. Even if you feel silly doing it, you'll be surprised how much it helps." She paused, not sure if she should say the next part, "Harry, if you ever feel like you need to talk with someone, you do know that I'm always here don't you?"
"I do now." Harry whispered warmly. He reached out and pulled her into a tight hug. Ginny was surprised but also very happy. She never thought she'd ever know what it was like to be in Harry's arms. Her heart skipped excitedly. They stood that way for awhile, just holding each other, before going up to their seperate dormitories.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
That night, Harry awoke in the thick darkness of his room shaking. He had had yet another dream about Cedric. He felt tears well up in his eyes. He hugged his pillow tightly and felt something underneath it.
He pulled it out and found the diary Ginny had given him in his hands. He thought about what she had said for a moment before pulling his bed curtains even more tightly around the bed, lighting a candle, and softly whispering "ame" into the binding of the book.
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A/N: Well? What do you think so far? Review and tell me if I should continue this.
by: Serena-chan
Christmas morning dawned clear and bright on Hogwarts. Fresh snow was falling, steadily blanketing the ground for the snowball fight they would have later. Everyone got up and exchanged gifts.
Harry forced a smile as he opened his gifts from his friends. He grinned back at them when they opened the gifts from him. At the feast, he ate extra, just so no one would notice the glum mood he was in.
After the feast, all the Weasleys and Hermione trooped outside for yet another snowball fight. Harry told them that he had a stomache ache from eating so much and decided to stay inside. The others were disapointed, but didn't argue.
Ginny went out with them for a bit, but was soon ignored. Ron and Hermione were in deep conversation as they built a snowman, probably flirting like mad, and the twins were having a fierce snow battle, using magic to make snowballs fly at the other from behind. No one noticed when she slipped back inside. She felt a bit hurt by this, but shook it off, reminding herself that they didn't mean to forget her, they just got distracted.
She hurried up to her dormitory and changed out of her cold, wet clothes into a knee-length navy blue pleated skirt and a dark red fuzzy sweater that her mother had sent for her. She carefully reached under her pillow and removed a small package. Walking very slowly, she made her way down the stairs.
She found Harry sitting alone in the common room. He had his chin propped up on his hand, gazing out the window at the twins' snowball fight. (Although, he didn't really seem to be seeing anything but what he was imagining in his own mind.) He had the saddest expression that she had ever seen etched deep into his face.
She began to have doubts about her mission. How could she, little Ginny Weasley, make the great Harry Potter feel better? This was crazy! To think that he would even listen to her!
But she looked at the sad look on Harry's face, and she told herself sternly, No, this isn't the 'great Harry Potter.' This is just Harry, the boy I love. He's miserable, and I'm the only one that's noticed. I at least have to try.
Tucking the package, which had begun trembling in her hand because she was so nervouse, into her pocket, she started toward him. She could feel the color rising to her cheeks as she neared him, but she didn't stop until she had reached the table he was sitting at.
"H-hello, Harry." she started, stammering at first because she hadn't planned out what she was going to say. Her voice seemed to break him out of his trance, and he looked up at her, putting on one of those fake smiles that never reached his eyes.
"Hullo, Ginny." He said.
"Mind if I sit down?" she asked. Harry nodded, and she sat in a chair opposite of him.
"Harry, may I talk to you about something?" her voice was so serious. Harry looked at her startled. Ginny, who was always smiling, was now very serious, sad even.
"Sure, Ginny." Harry responded quickly, "You can talk to me about anything."
"Harry..." this was to hard to say, she hadn't expected it being this difficult to get out, "I know you're still upset about Cedric." Harry froze, "I-I've been watching you, not spying really, just noticing things. That fake smile may fool the rest of the world Harry Potter, but it isn't going to fool me. I know that I have no place in even mentioning this to you, but you really need to talk to someone about this! It's eating you away! This isn't healthy!"
Harry sat there for a long time, staring at her. At last he lowered his eyes to look at the table. "How did you know?" he asked in a voice so soft that he himself could barely hear it, "Was I really that obvious?"
"No, you did a really good job of hiding it. The only reason I realized it was because I had that same exact look my whole second year, right after the chamber of secrets." Harry's eyes soften when she said this. "You've got to do something about this. You can't just keep being miserable for the rest of your life! Cedric wouldn't want that, would he?"
"T-there's n-no one I can t-talk to." He said, his voice breaking. Ginny looked at him closely and realized in alarm that he was crying. "I've tried to talk to people so many times, but they always acted differently around me. I didn't want that! I just-"
"Just wanted someone to listen to you." Ginny finished, "You tried talking to them, but when you did they treated you differently, like you were about to break at any second."
Harry looked up at her with suprise showing through his tears. Ginny gave him a small, wry smile, "Harry, let me tell you something. After the chamber of secrets, I was a wreck. I felt so horrible. It was me who caused all that trouble in the school. I attacked all those people. I caused all that destruction and worry. I nearly got the school shut down! I was miserable, all because I started writing in that diary.
"I started writing in it, because I had no friends at school. No one wanted to talk to quiet little Ginny, with her hand-me-down robes and falling apart books. So, when the diary became my only friend, I used it as much as possible.
"After the chamber incident, my family all walked on eggshells around me. When they spoke to me, they were so sympathetic and tried to pity me. I didn't want their pity, I wanted someone to talk to. But none of them would ever understand. None of them had been through what I had. They just wouldn't get it!
"I managed to get things back to normal by faking smiles, eating a little more, and doing some of my normal activities. My family treated me just like they always did, but I wasn't happy.
"When I came back to school, if people hated me before, they really hated me now. The ones that didn't hate me, were afraid of me. I began to sink deeper and deeper into depression.
"Then, at Christmas, Fred gave me a regular muggle diary. I think he meant it as a joke. I was very weary of it at first. Because, understandably, I didn't trust it. Then, I remembered how good it was to put down all my worries on paper. So, I got over my fears of diarys, and I wrote down everything. It felt so good to get it all down, almost like I was pulling all the sadness out of my soul. I wrote every day, and I slowly got better. You see, you just have to find a way of expressing your sorrow rather that letting it build up inside you."
Harry had remained silent and let her ramble. Now, he paused so long that Ginny didn't think he was going to answer, "I had no idea that you felt that way, Ginny." He paused again, beginning to look even more hopeless, "I just don't know what to do."
"Here," said Ginny, pulling the package from her pocket and pushing it into his hands, "I have something for you. Just call it a Christmas gift."
"What is it?" Harry asked, turning it over in his hands.
"Just open it, silly!" said Ginny. (Who, by this point, was starting to get comfortable talking to Harry.) Harry slowly pulled off the red and gold wrappings. A small notebook fell into his hands. The cover was bound in dark blue cloth with stars on it, resembling the night sky. It had a silver lock with lined paper inside. Harry turned the gift silently over in his hands, not sure what to say.
"There, now you can start to write your own feelings down." Ginny said, "I realize keeping a diary is a kind of girlish thing to do, but it helps. It really does! The notebook's a muggle one, but I magiced the lock so that it only opened when you said the password."
"What's the password?"
"It's ame, which means 'soul' in French"
Harry stared at the book a moment longer before spluttering, "Thanks so much, Ginny. You have no idea how much this means to me."
She stood and so did he, "Just remember," she said, "the hardest part of writing is getting started. Even if you feel silly doing it, you'll be surprised how much it helps." She paused, not sure if she should say the next part, "Harry, if you ever feel like you need to talk with someone, you do know that I'm always here don't you?"
"I do now." Harry whispered warmly. He reached out and pulled her into a tight hug. Ginny was surprised but also very happy. She never thought she'd ever know what it was like to be in Harry's arms. Her heart skipped excitedly. They stood that way for awhile, just holding each other, before going up to their seperate dormitories.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
That night, Harry awoke in the thick darkness of his room shaking. He had had yet another dream about Cedric. He felt tears well up in his eyes. He hugged his pillow tightly and felt something underneath it.
He pulled it out and found the diary Ginny had given him in his hands. He thought about what she had said for a moment before pulling his bed curtains even more tightly around the bed, lighting a candle, and softly whispering "ame" into the binding of the book.
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A/N: Well? What do you think so far? Review and tell me if I should continue this.
