Back To Your Heart: Chapter 4 By ~*Chibi-Sakura*~

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Hi all! Tee hee.. erm..I'll keep this short knowing all of you would just like to get on with it. Erm.. thanks 4 the reviews all! And uh...just to warn you all, i'm trying to make this go up to at least 10 chapters. _ hee hee sorry! I'm not positively sure, but i'm certain it'll be more than five. Thanks! And enjoy this chapter!!!!!!!

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Chapter 4: DesperatelyLooking For Answers

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Sakura was taken aback for a second. What was she thinking? Blurting out like that she still loved Syaoran. She turned to Kero who was looking at her from that brief burst out that she had after that dream.

"Are you okay?" he asked concernedly, looking at the expression on her face.

She shook her head, "No," she slumped back in her bed taking a pillow and covering her face, "I didn't mean that..I...er...I don't love Syao...uh..."

He was more confused and lost than she was, "Exactly what are you trying to say, Sakura," he asked slowly, hoping not to get her angry.

"I don't love him! I can't!" she cried out loud, "I dont.." a few more sobs came until she finally stopped crying and she wiped her tears away. She quickly grabbed the phone.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he flew over to her side.

She ignored him for a moment, dialed a few numbers and held the phone against her ear again.

"Moshi moshi?" came a sleepy voice.

"Tomoyo?"

"Sakura? What's wrong?" said her worried friend, noticing her few sniffs.

"I don't even know where to begin.."

"Start from the beginning Sakura," her friend said reassuringly

She took a deep breath and began, "I had a dream..well...more of a premonition of some sort..about Syaoran,"

Sakura could hear a stiffle gasp over the other line, "And he was married.."

"Oh Sakura...I'm so sorry," she said

"Why should you be? I'm over him..." she said skeptically

"Is that so, Sakura-san?" asked Tomoyo

Silence came over the other line, "Sakura?"

"Nani?" she finally spoke.

"I'm your best friend...you can tell me anything.." she said

"I would if I could explain it Tomoyo-san...but I can't," she sighed heavily

"Why not?"

"Part of me is saying that I still love him and the other says it doesn't want anything to do with him. I suppose I can't get over why he left me so long ago.."

"But..he said it was because of the Clan..didn't he?"

"I know that...but I could feel that there was something more than that..and I was right," she sighed of defeat, "I guess he loves her more than me, or he probably didn't even love me at all,"

"Sakura, don't say that. Of course he did. And I bet he still does!"

"Tomoyo, I don't even want to know. I just can't take this anymore. It's killing me inside. If only I could...just get away from it all.." Sakura said thinking aloud. Suddenly, an idea hit her,"Um, can I call you back?"

"Sure," she said and they both hung up. Sakura hurridly dialed a few more numbers and the phone began to ring again.

"Hello?" was the answer.

"Motoki?" she said

"Sakura?" he said half sleepily

"Gomen ne for awaking you.." she apologized

"It's okay,"

"I just wanted to ask you...how would you feel about moving back to Tokyo..with me?" she asked

~!~

Syaoran was sitting in the spacious living room of the Li mansion. He looked around him. What did this place mean to him? What did his whole marriage prove to him? Nothing, that's what. It was great being home, with his mother, sisters and all of his relatives. But the whole responsibility of the Clan was a minor difficulty. It held him back from being the person he wanted to be. Not that he didn't want to be the next leader of the clan, that was a great honor, but it prevented him from everything back in Japan for him. His friends, the only friends he's ever had in his life. And that one person that cared about him most. This responsibility kept him from loving Sakura.

If only she had known how much it destroyed most of his life when they said he was staying for good. There was no way out. He knew he had to be loyal to the Clan, and he was. Unfortunatley, he still is. Strange though. Ever since he had come back and wed Mizuki, Meiling had been the best support he's had. He still remembered, as a child even, she would tear him away from Sakura.

~* Flash Back *~

A little ten year old Syaoran was standing outside of their school while nine year old Meiling was clinging on to his arm, not making a move to let go. Sakura on the other hand was standing there listening to Meiling yell at her some more.

"I know you may not know me Kinomoto, but I'm Meiling Li. And if you know what's best for you, you'd better stay away from *my* Li-kun!" she exclaimed, thrustfully tugging on Syaoran's poor arm again, while he uttered a cry of pain.

Sakura usually wasn't one of those snobby types, but this was an exception, "Oh yeah? Why should I?" she demanded to know.

"Because he's my *fiancee!* Now keep your dirty paws away from him!" Meiling said with a grin widening on her face, "Isn't that right Syao-sama?"

Syaoran looked at Sakura, then back at Meiling searching for the right words to say, "Aa..ano..eeto..." was all he managed to say.

Meiling pouted but didn't give up just then, "Well he just is. So back off okay Kinomoto?!"

~* End of Flash Back *~

But in the end, she decided to accept what their love had become. And now, she was not wanting him to loose that special bond they've astablished together. No. She wouldn't stand up for it. Maybe that was why she didn't want to attend his wedding with Mizuki. And what about his marriage to her? Was that really the right thing to do? Sure, he fell in love with her...once. But it wasn't like his and Sakura's. That was something else. Something better. But no matter how much he opposed of it, the Clan didn't so much care of what he thought. They assumed this was what was best, and they pushed him. They believed that Mizuki was worthy enough to be the leader's wife. She was a commendable fighter, and a good one at that, but it wasn't what Syaoran was looking for nor interested in. The only thing he wanted was his cherry blossom. His Sakura.

But everything was holding him back. 'What's happened to you Li?' he thought to himself, 'You never gave up this easily on Sakura. Never. So what's stopping you?' His warm brown eyes trailled off to the picture of Mizuki. 'She is.'

~ End of Chapter 4: Desperately Looking For Answers~

Whoo hoo! Another chapter done! Yippie... Chapter 5 will soon be coming up whenever I can try to get it up. So how did you all think of it? Was Syaoran mushy enough? Was Sakura cold enough? Tee hee. Sorry S+S fans (well i'm one of them..._) !! But trust me, it WILL be a fluffy ending. Don't give up on me yet! Tell me what ya think and review me please! Thanks!!!!

~* Love Always *~

~*Chibi-Sakura*~