Standard Disclaimer Applies. Nani? Simple, I don't own Evangelion…
An Eva fanfiction. need I say more? Funfiction ^_^ p.s. try reading it slowly. Thank you for your reviews and support.
Pieces of the puzzle.
December one, nine in the evening, Katsuragi residence Asuka's room.
"Shinji." Asuka whispers as if taken aback by what has happened earlier in the cafeteria. Scenes of Shinji and Ayanami holding hands together, walking hand in hand. Freak…
Is my attention not enough? No… it isn't your fault Shinji… it's her… that doll, that bitch… I'll get you back… your mine… and everyone knows that I don't share.
Asuka slowly closes her eyes. She was having a lapse of memories that she wished vanished a long time ago. Yet lately they came back haunting her worse than before. I hate being alone…
She remembered seeing Ikari Shinji and Ayanami Rei, walking together, Ayanami smiling, touching her Shinji... feeling his hands… caressing him. She didn't have the right to touch him. That doll… That doll… That… DOLL.
What am I doing wrong?
"Love is pain."
"And pain is love?" Asuka answers unsure…
"." A young girl plays with her doll, combing her hair.
Love is pain, pain is love, and Shinji is in a lot of pain
Am I showing him love or am I bringing him death?
Silent contemplation.
Understand me Shinji… I may be proud or stubborn… but I truly love you. Asuka sobs, hugging her knees, rocking herself slowly, and remembering her mother's sweet touch. Mama… where did I go wrong…? I tried to be strong… I don't need anybody, yet I feel I need Shinji… I don't want to loose him to that porcelain doll.
A memory of Asuka when she was young.
"Mama, I'm going to be a pilot. I'm going to be the best. You're going to be proud of me Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama." a chibi Asuka. Running towards a silhouette form of a lady only to stop. "Mama?" A woman was hanging from the ceiling. A doll wrapped on her arms, she was bleeding…
"Mama? I don't want to follow you."
That memory still scarred her in her heart.
Mama… I don't want to die yet…
Her sobs continued to echo in her room… but she couldn't contain herself. She cried.
Ikari Shinji stood outside, in front of Asuka's room. Contemplating and confused.
Asuka, your crying… someone as strong as her? She's human too I guess… I wish I know, I wish I could help.' Shinji stood, staring at that sliding door in front of him.
Tell me what to do Asuka? Shinji sighs 'I can't even help myself.'
"Coward." Shinji whispered to himself as he heads back to his room. I wish she'd talk to me… I wish.
Ten minutes later.
Someone came knocking on his doors. Misatosan?
Asuka stood in front of Shinji's room. Shinji's lovely suite. Kawaii… Asuka and Shinji's lovely suite, she smiled at the idea.
She waited for a couple of minutes… and knocked again… no answer… Are you asleep Shinkun?
She slowly slid Shinji's door and walked inside… trying to be discrete.
Asuka tilts her head sideways, a long sweat drop forms on her forehead, then her veins bulge. Shinji, how could you?
Shinji was sleeping holding a picture of Rei in his left hand… her old Nerv ID… The bitch.
Asuka was about to slam the door when she saw something else it made her smile.
On Shinji's right hand was a picture… the image formed a bit better when she closed the gap. It was a sketch of her… with the words, characters. I Love You. Aishiteru.
Shinji. Asuka smiling although not visible, she felt better 'I'll be nice to you my pilot, my Ikari. My Ikari Shinji. I'll win you… I'll open your eyes to me.
"Asuka?" whispers a dreaming Shinji.
Asuka sighed. Sweet dreams.
Slowly she walked towards her room stopping only to glance once in awhile to her Kawaii chan's room where a Shinji slept. She treasured the thought and smiled. "Good night Shinjikun"
Ayanami residence, a dark alley somewhere in Tokyo three. A few block from Nerv… a dangerous area for a girl living alone, unprotected, young and innocent.
December nine
Rei glanced outside of her window at the beautiful, shining blue moon. Shinji Ikari… She was replaying her encounter with Shinji this morning, beside her a leftover banana cake that she ate earlier with Shinji. She smiled and ate the rest… thanks Ikarikun.
Nerv, a few hours ago, mankind's last hope against the angels, a foundation of lies.
Commander Ikari, stood and caressed Ayanami's blue hair, he gently stroke it like he did with his wife's hair.
Yui, soon my Yui. Soon. I'll awaken Shinji… I'll awaken his spirit. The perfect Evangelion even at the cost of his sanity. Gendou thought, as he stroked Rei's light blue hair.
What is this I feel?
My heart beats like fire… trembling with sensation… is this love?'
"Love is an irrelevant feeling. You were created for a purpose, that's all you need to know."
She remembered Shinji's love, her own definition of love anyway… a love of pure kindness and absolute sacrifice. Love. Love made her smile.
Shinji, I'll protect you
Ayanami stepped away from the commander who looked surprised.
"Rei?" She's smiling… something is wrong…
"."Rei stood quietly, she seems to be in her own world… something more than her usual calmness. "Something of extreme importance came up."
She turned around and walked out of the office, leaving the frowning commander, alone… alone, empty and cold.
It happened a little earlier. Something she did not regret nor she wanted to repeat. She didn't want to be replaced yet… it wasn't her time.
"Shinji, I'll protect you." Ayanami Rei whispers as she rocked herself to sleep… cradling her little pillow. Shinji the kawaii plow plow. She had to name it anyway… the name just made her laugh.
That night she dreamed of holding Shinji's hands, feeling his warmness… just being safe. Her first dream.
To be continued
