Disclaimer—the lyrics to the song "everywhere" used in this chapter are not mine. They belong to michelle branch, her recording company, and anyone else that they belong to. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 11
"Everywhere"
Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere
December 1981
Alan watched the last student run out of his class before sighing gratefully. Teaching was great, much more fun than his previous job, but that didn't mean that Alan didn't look forward to his free periods. Free periods, what a wonderful concept. Alan considered himself lucky. He had 2 a day, plus a lunch. One of his free periods and his lunch were the same as Jules'. Alan wondered if Mike had anything to do with that. (That he did, and the only reason Mike didn't make it both breaks was because he didn't want it to be too obvious). Having a free period with each other let Jules and Alan get to know each other again. Really know each other, like they had in high school. Now, it was almost as if those 7 years hadn't happened apart.
Jules…Alan knew what he was feeling. His favorite color used to be green, but now it was red. Not just any red, but that deep, rich, autumn-leaf color of her hair. It was sappy, he knew. Nearly nauseating as well, how he felt. But he couldn't help it. It was Jules…
Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look you're never there
But every time you sleep you're always there
What is it called when you dream about someone when you're awake? Daydream? That can't be right, the sound of the word just doesn't fit. So what do you call it when you can't get a person out of your head? Not in that giggly schoolgirl kind of way, but in a deeper sense…
J shook her head to clear it of these confusing thoughts. They raised too many questions, too many what-if's, and the answers had already been decided upon. If anything was going to happen, if was going to happen in time. There was no sense in dwelling upon anything.
Then why couldn't she get him out of her head?
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone
Christmas break came, and despite a gigantic amount of wishing both on the parts of adults and children, no major amount of snow fell. There were one or two dustings, but nothing huge. Gregory celebrated his daughter's birthday with a small party, attended by many of J's high school friends (essentially, the Titans and a few others). Despite the mistletoe draped all over the walls and doorways, the rooms that the two were constantly left alone in, and all the other various attempts by everyone at the party, the conspiracy failed to bear fruit. Again.
By the time school started back up again in January 1982, everyone was beginning to wonder if anything was ever going to happen between J and Alan. Knowing how Alan and J felt would have seriously helped the conspirators. Both were afraid. Both stuck to the agreement that they had reached back in October. Both needed someone to smack them over their heads.
***
I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that you might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me
First Day of School After Winter Break
Third period break. J scratched the back of her head and looked around at her desk. Work awaited. She had to start looking for pieces already for the Spring Choral/Instrumental Concert. It was a massive event; the students would need to start getting familiar with the music in a few weeks or they would lose their edge. Yet, J wasn't in the mood. She stood, walked a few feet, then sat down at the piano bench.
Lost in thought, J ran her fingers over the smooth piano keys, remembering the many songs she had composed in that very spot. Afternoons and evenings long after the students had left for the night, J felt herself unable to depart just yet. She was chased to the piano bench or to her guitar by the visions of young, current couples in the hallways. J was reminded of her own high school years, and her own high school…
J pushed herself up from her seat. She was really bored. Time to go pester Alan.
***
And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
Alan jumped in his seat when J poked her head into the room; the sudden break in silence startled him. "Whatcha doing? Anything important?"
Alan glanced down at the lesson plans he was working on, then back up at J. "Not anymore."
"Good." J beamed, ran over, and pulled a chair next to Alan's desk. "I was bored. These free periods are always so dull; there's nothing to do."
Alan raised an eyebrow at her. "Really? What happened to lesson plans, grading, etcetera and etcetera?"
J shrugged. "I dunno. I can do that later. Right now, I wanna bother you."
"Oh, I feel so privileged," Alan quipped, playfully patronizing. He gathered up the papers scattered over his desk to put them away. One of the papers swiped across his finger, penetrating the skin. A thin crimson line appeared where the paper had just been. "Ah-ow!" Alan hissed.
"Aww!" J cried sympathetically. She scampered over to the sink, (art rooms have to have sinks) wet a paper towel, and brought it back to Alan. She wrapped the paper towel around Alan's finger.
Alan winced when the rough surface of the paper towel initially rubbed against his cut. "I hate paper cuts," he moaned.
J pursed her lips and nodded understandingly. "I hate them too. Here," she reached into her pocket and dug around until she produced a tube. "Let me put this on it."
"What's that?" Alan asked as J took the paper towel off of his finger.
"It's a triple antibiotic ointment salve thing. A paper cut really isn't serious enough for it, but it still feels really good on cuts and scratches. I'm constantly getting little cuts and scratches, so I carry it around with me."
Alan's heart picked up a beat or two as J applied the salve. It really did ease the stinging, but he had forgotten about the stinging awhile ago. All he felt was J's fingers rubbing the salve onto his finger. Her hand touching his. Her head was leaned down, facing his hand. But if her head was up, their faces would be inches apart. From here, Alan could smell her hair. She was still using the same shampoo that she had back in high school. Alan savored each second; he hadn't been this close to J in…well, a long time.
"There! J's head snapped up, her task completed. "Feel any better…" she trailed off as she gazed deep into Alan's eyes, suddenly realizing how very close they were. It had been forever…
***
Mike strode down the hallway, heading for Alan's classroom. He wanted to run an idea by Alan, about starting an after-school art club. Mike reached the doorway just in time to see Alan and J mere centimeters apart. He halted in his place and watched, holding his breath.
***
An earthquake couldn't have shaken Alan from his position. Not much farther now…he began to draw closer, just as J did. He faltered the next second, losing his confidence, just as J did. They both laughed, nervously, and moved a few feet back. J glanced down at her feet, then up again. "So..."
***
Mike exhaled heavily, disappointed. Shaking his head, he turned around and made his way back to his office. So close…
***
You always light my way
There never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so
A week later
Alan glanced up from the tray he was piling with food to see J surrounded by the usual crowd of young male student and substitute teachers. Don't forget Mr. Wallace, the first-year English teacher. J was the heartbreaker of the school, among the faculty, at least. Though it wasn't as if J did anything out of her way to attract all the attention. Alan shook his head; it wasn't as if he blamed any of them…
Alan hefted his heavily laden tray and was about to make his way over to J when he was stopped by Miss Taylor, an annoying gossipy and clinging math teacher. "I heard we're getting out early, what with the snowstorm coming and all." Alan nodded half-mindedly, brain focused on J. He glimpsed over just as she looked up. Meeting eyes with Alan, she mouthed, 'Help me.'
That was all it took. Alan let his instincts take over. He dropped his tray, quickly excused himself from Miss Taylor, and crossed the distance between him and J in a matter of a few quick strides. Pushing through the admirers surrounding her, Alan took J's arm, pulled her to a standing position, and swept her off of her feet, literally, in a passionate kiss that unintentionally but secretly on purpose communicated everything he had been feeling for weeks.
Finally breaking it off, he stared into her stunned face for a few breathless seconds before brushing past all of the slack-jawed mouths and out of the lounge. There was a moment of shocked silence before the room became ablaze with buzzing conversations about what had just happened. J felt her knees go wobbly. Usually not one to be weakened easily, even J had to admit that she had been taken off-guard. J had to sit, having a lot to think about. It didn't take her long to reach a decision. It may not be what people expected, or what some would even want, but it was the right thing to do. The only thing to do.
***
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath, it's you I breathe
You're everything I know that makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' Alan furiously chided himself repeatedly during the next half hour. Not much mental presence was required, even though he had a class. Mike came over the PA system right after lunch to announce that school was dismissing early for the first snowstorm of the winter.
Alan vaguely noticed the students pouring out of the classrooms and onto the buses. His mind kept replaying the events from lunch. How could he have been so stupid? There's no way she felt the same, it was too soon after they had been reunited. If Alan insisted on ruining the friendship that he'd built back up with Jules since October, he could have at least chosen a moment not in front of half the faculty.
Still…there was a part of Alan that didn't regret what he'd done, and that would do it again in an instant.
***
You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?
The faculty was now free to go, as all the students had left. Teachers ran to get to their cars and speed home before the storm hit. Alan was just shoving his keys into the car lock when he heard a voice call his name.
"Alan!"
He whipped around to see J running towards him as the first few flakes of snow drifted downwards. 'Uh-oh, here it comes,' he thought. "Look, Jules, I'm sorry, I wasn't—"
But J interrupted. "Shut up."
Alan's face scrunched in confusion. "Wha—"
J cut him off. She grabbed his tie and pulled his mouth down to hers. There it remained until both of them were heavily dusted with snow. They finally pulled apart, ever so slightly, to the applause of the remaining faculty, Mike included. To J and Alan, though, there was no one else besides them. Alan gazed into J's shining face, amazed at how very beautiful she was, cheeks red and glowing in the cold. In her eyes he found nothing but love, as she found nothing but love in his. They found themselves drawing together for another well-deserved kiss. The had their long awaited moment at last…in the snow.
Kelly wants me to insert a disclaimer here, so here it is:
DISCLAIMER—no one was permanently damaged in the making of this chapter. Alan's paper cut fully healed, and he made a complete recovery.
