Yes, it's another chapter… bet you're all itching for it, aren't you?
Disclaimer: The following things belong to ME - Alex Kohl, Alina Roeder, the exceedingly blue Ravenclaw common room, Alex's strange romantic tendencies, and Sir Tiernan the friendly suit of armour. Everything else is © J.K. Rowling, excluding the song at the beginning, which is © Kate Bush. In case you couldn't guess, it's called "Wuthering Heights" - the name which belongs to Emily Bronte, who herself belongs to one of the finest literary families that ever existed.
Thankyou to all my reviewers, cause you all rock so much I can't describe it. Those who've left a 'forwarding address' of sorts include: amaia riddle and Writer Angel. Those who haven't include: SaturnVenus, aersrtdtyfyuguihio, Hecate, Wendy, Princess Hermione Sorcelleri, Kim, Lauren, ~*~lala~*~ , Rachel, Audrey and Pixie48449.
This chapter is rated R for the use of the "F" and "B" words. And an allusion to homosexuality/bisexuality. Either way, if I don't put that disclaimer I'll get in trouble.
P.S. To amaia riddle, and her opinion of the Ginny/Virginia debate, I will put this forward: Sure, there's a Fred and a Charlie but let's think it through this way… Bill = William; Charlie = Charles; Percy = Percival; Fred = Frederic; Ron = Ronald; Ginny = Virginia. And that's just my opinion - even people with old-fashioned names like Margaret are still called things like Meg and Peg.
P.P.S. To Writer Angel, and Harry's apparent change in relation to fame: I have no idea what you mean. If you are referring to Alex making the world "a little less Harry's", I simply meant he is changing people around Harry, like Ginny and Hermione, to do things they wouldn't normally do… Harry loves Hogwarts, and doesn't want Alex, with his different ideas and modern views on certain things to destroy his home. Wouldn't you like it to stay the same too? If this isn't the incident you are referring to, I am lost. If you wish to discuss this further, please e-mail me as I hope people don't misconstrue my meanings.
P.P.P.S. Why the heck does everyone hate Alex? I find this rather interesting, although I can understand where you're coming from since he is based on a real-life person who can be rather annoying at times. I'd like to hear more about your hatred for Alex, since that always makes my job a little easier in trying to make everyone a sympathetic character! So, include your opinion in your review if you wish to express it straight to the author!
CHAPTER EIGHT… let's hope it scratches that itch well enough. Let us enter…
"Playground Love"
***
Chapter Eight
"Lavender"
How could you leave me
When I needed to possess you?
I hated you. I loved you, too.
Bad dreams in the night.
They told me I was going to lose the fight,
Leave behind my Wuthering Heights.
"What're you reading?"
It was a frosty winter morning and Ginny, fed up with the boisterous antics of the Gryffindor common room, had removed herself to the library. She noticed Madam Pince's narrowed gaze as Alex dropped himself into the chair beside her.
Ginny closed the book slightly and pointed to the cover. "Wuthering Heights."
Alex nodded knowingly, and she began to immerse herself in the story once more. After a few moments of peaceful reading, he interrupted again. "Isn't that the one where the guy's wife goes crazy and burns the house down?"
"No."
"Oh." Alex fiddled with the buttons on his robe and scratched his chin as they sat there in silence. He started to drum his fingers on the table to some indistinguishable beat, and Madam Pince, who had been discreet about her annoyance thus far, peered suspiciously over at Alex.
"That's Jane Eyre," Ginny replied, and Alex looked up at her, smiling slightly.
"That's right." He resumed his table-drumming. Ginny was beginning to find his small movements too distracting to continue reading so she replaced her bookmark and set the book down on the table. Knowing that he was in want of an explanation, and that he wouldn't leave until he got it, Ginny sighed and began to speak.
"This is the one where the star-crossed lovers marry other people to wreak revenge on each other and then when the girl, Cathy, dies, the guy, Heathcliff, destroys everyone else's lives as well."
Alex nodded in slight interest. "Depressing stuff."
"You might say that." She sat there, trying to decipher her own thoughts on the subject. "Or you might say that he was simply out of his mind with love."
"Or obsession." He grinned at her irritated glance. Instant exasperation: contradict someone with a possible truth. "Still, it's scary to think that someone can be driven that far."
Ginny smirked back at him, her annoyance replaced by flirtatious exhilaration. "Or romantic."
Alex struggled to smother a laugh. "Yeah."
It wasn't long before they both burst into laughter, and shortly thereafter they were thrown out by Madam Pince, under the pretence of 'disturbing the peace', although they were the only ones sitting around the school library on that particular Saturday afternoon.
They walked through the deserted halls, talking about nothing of importance and yet knowing that the stability of their entire friendship could be ruined by one wrong word, one wrong phrase, one wrong movement. And so their conversation, which may have seemed to outsiders as one befitting two people who were as comfortable with each other as they were when they were alone, was structured in their mind with such detail so that they would not make a mistake. Don't talk about Hermione… don't talk about Harry… don't talk about the Forest… don't talk about Quidditch… don't talk about love… or happiness. Talk of nothing while still speaking.
But, most of all… don't ever talk about the past.
Soon they found themselves wandering the grounds, the snow crunching underneath their feet, their conversation full of gossip and carefully plotted witticisms.
"I heard about Seamus and Parvati; was Lavender much upset…?"
"… and so I said: 'No, I'm not interested in a tea leaf reading'…"
"Ha! You should've seen the look on Snape's face! Pure brilliance!"
"… I remember when Ron did something like that, back when he was in third year…"
"Dumbledore's not a bad headmaster. I've had much worse, I can assure you…"
"I felt really sorry when it happened, especially for Hermione, since we were just becoming good friends then."
And so the conversation continued on, until someone made a slip-up; until someone crossed the fragile barriers into the unknown abyss of painful memories, of a past full of hatred and regret. Ginny said the words, and forever regretted them afterwards.
"What do you reckon Hermione's up to now?"
Ginny shrugged. "Dunno. Her parents are good, her house is great, her family seemed nice. She's probably having a normal Christmas."
Alex sighed. "I was thinking about owling her, letting her know I wanted to say goodbye. That I didn't want her to leave, really - I just didn't want her to regret anything, ever. I regret too much, and I wanted to spare her that."
Ginny played with her fingernails, scratching at a slight crack in one of them. She looked up at Alex and saw that his eyes were glazed over and shining with tears he didn't want to let go. She reached out for his hand and gripped it, squeezing it gently as they walked. "You want to do that for everyone - me, Hermione. You don't want anyone to suffer, ever. But people have to suffer, or they never learn anything… that's what you've got to understand, Alex. Pain is a natural part of living - of loving."
Alex smiled down at Ginny a little condescendingly. "But, Gin - if you'd seen the things I'd seen… you'd feel differently. You'd never, ever want anyone to feel the way you'd felt so many times."
Shaking her head, Ginny felt anger rise in her veins but she subdued it and swallowed it down where it hung like a heavy weight in her stomach. "Alex, just because I haven't seen things like you doesn't mean I don't know pain. In fact, it's probably because I haven't seen as much that the smaller things affect me more."
Alex didn't respond, and Ginny let go of his hand. They walked to where a small wall stood nearby and sat down on it, Ginny waiting for Alex to speak more. After a little while, she decided to take the initiative and speak herself.
"Alex, I want to know more about you." He stared at her questioningly, and she held up a finger to stop him interjecting. "I know this is That-Which-Is-Never-Spoken-Of - the past is a forbidden topic with you. But I don't care anymore. Tell me everything and then we won't have any more secrets."
The tears slipped from where he was holding them, and they ran rivulets down his face, staining it with trails of scarlet. Alex shook his head slowly. "You'd never want to know me if I told you… everything is too much for now."
"Anything, then?" When he didn't look at her, Ginny sighed. "Please."
He raised his eyes to her face and leaned forward slowly, stopping a mere breath away from her face. Ginny stared back at him, her heart beating quickly, irregularly. As he opened his mouth to speak, an unmistakable odour washed through her senses. Eucalyptus, she thought, her mind hazy and her body tingling with the scent. "You first," he exhaled, Ginny feeling her knees go weak and her arms tense with his words.
Although the burning question in the back of her mind - namely, Me first? - nagged at her, Ginny ignored it and nodded instead. "Me." She racked her brain for something to tell Alex that wouldn't hurt him, and one that wouldn't lead to another question. Finally, it came to her:
"I've never had a boyfriend."
Alex was slightly taken aback by her honesty, yet also found himself not particularly surprised. Anyone who kisses like that… the guy who dumped her would have to be a total and utter fool. He didn't even think about his answer before he said:
"I have."
Ginny jumped. "You're joking."
Alex shook his head, an embarrassed smile on his face. "Nope."
Her eyes widened, and a wicked thought crossed her mind. "Guess it's a good thing I didn't say that I'm a virgin, or I might've heard something worse."
"Maybe." Grinning, he looked up at her, and winked conspiratorially. "This is just between us, right? I'm sure there's plenty of people who would love to use certain knowledge against me." And one of them just happens to be your best friend.
Ginny nodded. "Of course. I'd never tell anyone something you wanted kept a secret." Her eyes were wide with an innocence that made Alex shiver from head to foot. I remember that feeling… just barely, anyway. Something stirred a spoon in his heart, disturbing the settled emotions just like cracking the skin that formed atop a bowl of soup. The lumps floated there, and Alex felt one of them float up and land in the back of his throat.
He suddenly turned and gripped her hands tightly, so hard that it made Ginny squeal softly. Alex didn't loosen his hold on her and he held her gaze with his storm-blue eyes. "Let me ask you a question, Gin - just one, and then we'll never talk of these things ever again."
Having no alternative, she nodded and Alex's mouth set in a line of determination. He took a deep breath and spoke once more:
"Gin, why are you going to the ball with Harry?"
Something inside her gasped, and a funny feeling bounced around her stomach. "Uhh…" she couldn't get the words out, couldn't tell him why she had done it - she barely knew herself. Ginny simply had decided, within herself, to put Alex Kohl as far away from her as possible… something that was becoming harder as time passed. She felt near-hysteria as she turned these thoughts over in her mind, struggling to escape Alex's grip, his piercing stare, the hold he had over her entire being.
"I told him yes because there was no one else." In her mind, the last words repeated over and over again, the ones she never spoke to him that day. Who asked me; because there was no one else who asked me… no one I would have ever said yes to save him and - you. And he asked me first.
Alex's head ached. "Oh," he murmured as he released Ginny's hands, his own dropping listlessly to his side. Alex shivered and drew his cloak closer to his body, but nothing warmed the cool, leaden weight that had been placed inside his mind. There was no one else… for you. I was simply a mistake, I suppose. Fury flooded his veins like quicksilver and hardened, the cold spreading across his entire body, misery replacing the anger as the sinking realisation hit him. No… I made the mistake. I told you I didn't want you with anything but a passing thought and you saw me for what I really was. I'm a liar, a coward, someone who can't even face their own past.
"I don't blame you." The words were surprising, and Ginny glanced back at him, confused. "Harry's a top bloke, I'm sure you'll have a…" Alex tried to control the heated tears that threatened to break free, "…smashing time with him." He tried a smile that became something similar to a death mask, before hurrying away through the flurry of snow that had begun to fall.
Ginny stood and raced after him, her body a jumble of emotions that risked explosion onto the palest of snow. "Alex!" she cried, and he paused momentarily to stare back at her, red hair against the white of the falling snowflakes. It reminded him of some Muggle artist who particularly liked painting women with red hair. Rembrandt? Monet? As she emerged through the curtain of white the name appeared for him. Titian. Of course.
She stopped in front of him, teeth chattering as the snow permeated her thin school robes. Alex motioned to give her his cloak but she shook her head. "I just wanted to ask you something else - before we agree to lie to each other for the rest of time."
Alex's face was questioning, and Ginny took this as an invitation to continue. "Why did Hermione really leave?"
There was no stopping the tears this time. The heat had dissipated from the frost and Alex felt defeated as he stood there, unable to control the emotions he felt. He hated not being in control, and this was one moment in his life that couldn't be repressed. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, knowing that when he opened them, no matter what, Ginny would still be standing there, and she would want the truth. She deserved the truth. So he told her.
"Because I didn't love her. Hermione left because I couldn't love her."
With his words, and Ginny's shocked stare, Alex turned and ran. He didn't know the effect they had on the Titian-like Virginia Weasley, standing in the snow, realising the implications of what Alex had just told her. As he raced towards the castle, to the safety of Hogwarts, he had no idea how irrevocably he had just changed his life.
As Ginny twirled in the snow, ecstasy mingled with fear in her mind. For who could know what might happen should Harry discover that her heart belonged to another …and that she held both of theirs in the palm of her hand?
***
"So, I told her to go fuck herself. Or, better, to go fuck Seamus, since that had to be the only good use he could put her to."
Alina Roeder stared at Lavender Brown in awed amazement. "Did you really? Did she… was she… angry?"
Lavender smirked, pleased that she had an audience. "Of course she was. But she hid it and burst into tears right on the spot." She shook her head, exchanging a knowing look with Alina. "Really, some people just don't understand friendship. She told me that she thought I'd be happy for her - what an utter idiot! Yeah, sure, I'm delighted that you stole the man I'm in love with!"
"What a bitch." Alina tutted Lavender with her index finger. "Still, maybe you were a little hard on her, telling her that you hated her and that if you ever got the chance, you'd hex her back to the hell she'd sprung from."
"Hole," Lavender corrected. "And, as far as I'm concerned, she deserved it. Things like this help others grow as people, as witches and wizards. She's a dirty little skank and I don't want her to rub off onto me, or anyone else. Parvati Patil should be shunned for being the filthy little scrag that we all know she is."
Alina nodded in agreement. "Yes, I suppose you're right. I'll make sure that all the other Ravenclaw girls hear of this, and act appropriately. After all, we can't have people running around acting in such a fashion. It simply isn't befitting of Seventh-Years, who are supposed to be setting an example for the other students of Hogwarts."
Lavender noted the Prefect badge that adorned Alina's school robes. Figures, she thought bitterly, you've simply gotta be perfect to become prefect around here. Yet another privilege Parvati received and I was passed over. Typical.
She sipped at the tea Alina presented her with, and smiled cordially at the attractive witch. "I simply adore your common room, Al! Gryffindor's is always so dark and dreary." Personally, Lavender was feeling rather affronted by the many shades of blue which covered the walls, ceiling, and were present in each ornament decorating the Ravenclaw common room, but she knew better than to voice her true opinion in the presence of someone in a higher position than herself.
Alina smiled graciously at the compliment. "Well, Lavender, we take much pride in our dwelling, as you have already noticed. Not one Ravenclaw does not respect and love this school enough to make it as beautiful as they see fit."
Lavender nearly gagged at the veiled insult to her own house, although, with the exception of Harry Potter and Co., the majority of them rarely did anything against the school rules. She was about to respond equally courteously when she heard a loud crash come from the hallway outside the common room. Angry whispering could be heard through the secret doorway, and both Alina and Lavender moved closer, their curious, gossiping minds instantly piqued.
"I'm exceedingly sorry, my lord, but without the correct password…"
"I can tell you all the others, just not this one! Blubber, Stoat Snouts, Jellied Eels, Arigato, PEELED KNEAZLE - Oh, I hate this school!"
Horrified, Alina muttered the current password underneath her breath to the door, softly enough that even Lavender's sharp ears couldn't decipher it, and the wall slid away into itself, revealing a flustered looking suit of armour and a sheepish tall boy with black hair.
Alina rolled her eyes. "I should have guessed." She reached forward and pulled the boy inside the room. She nodded towards the tarnished armour, and patted him on the shoulder affectionately. "I apologise most humbly, Sir Tiernan. I assure you that this shan't occur again."
"Oh, my dear mistress Roeder! Nevermind the children forgetting the passwords - happens quite regularly, I must say. No need to apologise!" Alex bristled at the reference, and was about to respond when Alina motioned for the portal to close.
She hit Alex on the shoulder, eyes blazing. "Are you completely stupid, Herr Kohl? Or do you simply enjoy irritating people?"
Alex raised his eyebrows. "No… I just forgot the password."
"Well, then let's not yell out every other single password for just about anyone to hear!" Alex followed Alina's gaze and rested his eyes on the emerald ones of Lavender Brown.
"Lavender!" he exclaimed, and she smiled flirtatiously back at him. "What are you doing over here, in the horrors of the never-ending blue?" She tried to smother a grin, and hoped that Alina hadn't noticed. "Come, sit by the fire with me… it's freezing in here, I must say!" He grasped her around the shoulders and led her away from Alina, who stood, unable to move, in the doorway until she was bowled over by a group of wet, snow-covered second-years fresh from a snowball fight.
As Alex sat with Lavender by the fire, she snuck an occasional glance at him, amazed that she was sitting here with him - that he had chosen her to speak to out of the entire Ravenclaw common room. Sure, there's only Alina and some third-years… But, to Lavender, it was still a privilege. She noted the way the firelight flickered over his face, his rounded nose, his slightly-flawed lips. Lavender saw his eyes change from blue to purple in the red hue of the fire, and couldn't help a smile as she thought this through inside her head. Purple… Lavender. Could this be fate that I was sitting here, speaking about Seamus to Alina and meeting the man of my dreams?
Alex saw her looking at him and smiled at Lavender, who felt her heart melt at the sight of his face flooded with light from the fire. He leaned forward, and began whispering to her. "Lav, what happened with you and Seamus?"
The moment faded. "Oh, well… I guess he just decided he preferred Parvati to me." She felt her face flush with the remembrance of the way she had thrown herself at Seamus even though in reality she had known he had no interest in her. Alex, thinking this was embarrassment of a different kind, placed his arm around her shoulders to comfort her. Lavender heard her voice continuing to speak although she had no idea what she was saying.
"So, I really didn't know what to do. I mean, my best friend and Seamus… I loved him, y'know? And it takes a while to realise what's going on, to take it all in. I still don't understand. Can barely stand sleeping in the same room as Par… her." As she mumbled to herself Alex shushed her gently and she felt herself beginning to cry softly. What have I done? I told my best friend I hated her just because I didn't want her to be happy. I'm the worst person I've ever met.
As Lavender was mentally berating herself, Alex was formulating a plan in his mind. I need to get to the Yule Ball and see Ginny, but I need a partner. Maybe I can help Lavender retrieve Seamus and catch Gin all at once. But, in reality, Alex knew that this could make matters worse. He might provoke a fight between Parvati and Lavender that could've been prevented by him not saying the words. He knew that by asking Lavender to the Ball he wouldn't be helping anyone.
Except himself.
But as Alex sat in the Ravenclaw common room, Lavender Brown sobbing into his navy-blue cloak, Ginny standing outside in the snow thinking of him, he also knew what he had to do.
"Lavender," his fingers drifted to her jawline, and he lifted her face until it was level with his. "Will you go to the Yule Ball with me?"
The answer was obvious. With nowhere to go, and no one to run to, who would refuse an offer from the most gorgeous man this side of Dorset? But Lavender spoke it anyway.
"Yes."
***
HOW SCREWED HAS EVERYTHING BECOME?! Give me your thoughts on the subject in your wonderful reviews… or, you mightn't live to see the next chapter, appropriately titled "'The Yule Ball' - and all that happened there". Even juicer than a 50c romance novel.
