Title: The Way it is
Summary: What if Willow and the Scoobies actually had consciences, and they'd left Buffy in heaven, where she belongs? It's kind of a remake on another fic I wrote.
Archive: ff.net
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy. Actually, I'm really glad I don't. Sure, Joss and Marti Noxious are earning money, but the show has been on a downward spiral for a long time. I don't even watch Angel anymore, the plot lines have just gotten so ridiculous. I mean, if you start out a character acting one way, believing in a certain set of morals, you can't just change them 180 degrees and expect people with brains to go, "Ok, cool!"
Comments: I'm sorely disappointed in the paths that Willow, Spike, Angel, and Buffy have taken as of late. Willow is addicted to the good vibes magic has been giving her, Spike has gone from a really cool bad ass to a lame-ass, Angel's lost all sense of guilt and conscience he once had, and Buffy is just pathetic. I can honestly say that Joss and Marti have caused me to hate every character I used to like. I can only hope if they ever bring Drusilla back, she'll still be herself.




I stared at the road ahead of her, not quite seeing it. My mind was full of images, bits and pieces of life for the last five years. You couldn't even call the last five years a life. I liked to describe it as more like a personal hell. When I was younger, I had thought my life was such a screw-job. 'No one could ever understand', I'd thought, what it was like to learn that your mom wasn't even related to you, and you weren't even human. As if that wasn't enough, the very first year I was truly alive came to a close with the death of my mother. And then, so soon, Buffy had died.
Buffy had always been what kept me from completely losing it after Joyce had gone. And how could she have gone? Buffy was the slayer. She was strong, perfect... Everything I wished she could be. But all of that glory, after everything she'd done, Buffy had died to save me. I shut my eyes momentarily to block out the image of a swirling mass of electric energy. I didn't want to see the portal that took Buffy, that tore her life away, and left the crumpled body lying on the ground, limbs twisted into horrible angles.
The car swerved terribly, though, and I was forced to wrench open my lids and try to focus on driving. But then my thoughts began to drift again. After Buffy died, they had to prepare another funeral. Giles took the necessary steps to become my guardian, which took a huge legal battle, since I had living relatives. Finally, though, my heartbreaking testimony won the judge over, and I moved in with the watcher of my dead sister. Of course, the funeral was the worst part. A few people from high school came, a few relatives, some people Buffy had met at UCS... They all seemed very fake to me. I hated them at once, and wished they would stop looking at my sister.
Buffy was beautiful that day, of course. You could hardly tell what had happened, save the cut on her cheek. I couldn't cry. It had all been wasted in the weeks before the actual ceremony, and now I just stood, watching the others show their grief. As the people gathered about, taking handfuls of dirt to throw on Buffy's coffin, I screamed. And then I couldn't stop. I cried, screaming, begging for them not to put Buffy down there. 'Don't you dare throw that on her! Can't you see? She'll be alone, and it's so cold! Please, please don't do this!' Giles and Willow had dragged me from the graveyard, still screaming wildly.
It had taken me a long time to calm down, but even longer to go and visit the site. It took every ounce of courage I thought I didn't have to go there and not break down. Willow was leaving. I begged to go with her, and threw such a fuss, that Giles had agreed. Willow and I drove to LA that day. The trip wasn't long, but I found myself sleeping like I'd never had the chance. I had nightmares, though, and had forced myself to stay awake the rest of the journey. When they finally parked in the lot before the large building, I almost felt scared. Willow went to open the car door, but I stopped her. 'What is Angel going to say? What will you say?' I demanded with my face pale.
'I don't know, I- I.' Will's eyes filled.
'I can't think about any of that until I'm up there. I don't want to be the one to do this. It will kill him.' She whispered, almost to herself.
I released Willow's arm, and we entered the building, taking the elevator up the Angel's floor. Willow paused in front of the door, looking like she'd love to turn back and go home, but I stepped in front and knocked loudly. Willow started to cry before Angel even opened the door. Angel looked surprised, and then alarmed. 'Willow? Willow, what's going on?' He looked at me, anxious worry all over his visage.
Willow and I went inside, and Willow crumpled onto the couch, taking a cup of coffee from Cordelia. Two people I didn't know were in the room, standing near Wesley, but I didn't pay attention to them. Willow started to speak. 'Angel, its Buffy.' Her voice cracked, and she couldn't go on.
Her hands shook, and I grabbed the mug before Willow spilled it all over the rug. I didn't think Angel could get paler until Willow had said this. He asked her to continue.
His voice sounded hard. Willow just sobbed. I watched as Angel grabbed Willow by the shoulders, shaking her. 'Tell me what's wrong. Tell me what happened to Buffy?" He demanded, anger permeating the room.
The new guy and Wesley wrestled with Angel, trying to make him release Willow. She finally spit out, 'She's dead, Angel! Buffy's dead.' Before dissolving into tears again.
I just sat there stupidly, taking sips of the warm coffee. Angel let go of Willow, his arms falling limp at his sides. He pushed Wesley and the other guy away, standing there like some sort of statue. 'Buffy- She can't- Buffy's not dead. I- I would've...' He trailed, off, looking so lost.
'How?' I didn't think Willow was capable of saying any more, so I cut in.
My voice sounded very steady, almost unaffected as I spoke. I couldn't help that I'd used up all my grief. 'Glory found out I am the key, and she had a big tower built. She kidnapped me, and was going to sacrifice me to open a portal. The portal opened, and Buffy knew it couldn't be closed without my blood. I had to die to close it. I was going to jump, but she did instead. And now she's gone.' Angel didn't look at me.
I knew he blamed me. I blamed myself. If I hadn't been such a coward, maybe things would be different. I think Angel knew that if it wasn't for me, they might have had a chance someday. I suddenly felt very hot, as though everyone was looking at me, blaming me. Angel left the room quickly, and even though he'd gone out onto the roof, we could hear him. Cordy grimaced as Angel's voice howled in grief and pain. The other girl's eyes were wide with fear, and after giving us condolences, left the room. I was glad. Buffy didn't know two of them, and she never liked Wesley. Cordy looked stricken, though, but I couldn't tell if that was from knowing she would never captivate Angel the way my sister did. I felt like being mean to forget my own pain.
'You know, he'll never love you. Not the way he does Buffy. She's dead, and he still will love her. You never could get his attention, Cordelia, and even now, after following him to LA like a little puppy dog, you still aren't the one he wants.' Willow looked up at me, her face stupidly blank and covered with tears.
Cordy's mouth just opened. 'Why you little brat! I was going to tell you that I really would miss the stupid short freak, but now I take it back. You'd better forget you were ever under the influence of that witch and try to get some normal acquaintances.' She snapped, rising to leave.
Willow stood up and slapped her, hard. Cordy's face was bright red, and her eyes filled with tears of pain. 'How could you? Buffy's dead, and you still can't admit she was the better person? You can't admit she was a good friend. Out of the three of us, she was the only one that didn't hate your snobby guts. Buffy actually cared about people, Cordelia, but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that.' Willow turned to me, her face glowing with anger and righteousness.
'Come on, Dawnie, we're going home.' I followed Willow out, under the glare of Cordelia. Later, when we'd gotten home, we learned that Angel had seen his first sunrise in 200 odd years.

**

I looked at the road, hardly noticing the sign proclaiming I was welcome to Sunnydale. It had been a long time since I'd seen the town I'd been created in. That thought, my creation, makes me laugh, even though that is the one thing I feel least like doing. Once I get into the city limits, I can see how much a slayer really does matter. The town had gone to ruin. Buildings had shattered windows and were deserted. Garbage fluttered around in the streets, and empty dumpsters and trashcans added to the litter. Stopping my car on the curb, I got out to walk. I knew it wasn't safe, but for some reason, I didn't care. Over the tops of shops and houses, I saw the sun begin its descent. I walked to the graveyard, ambling past homes with their doors and windows painted with crosses. Locks were bolted and shutters closed. Gates were locked up, and hung with garlic, sprayed with holy water, and boasted crosses dangling from the latches. Vampires had overrun Sunnydale, and when their populations grew to be too much for our tiny group, minus Buffy, we had left. There was nothing we could do, save try to warn some of the people. Of course, they took us for lunatics until the vampires made themselves more known. Now they live here like prisoners, waiting for the vampires to attack and take them to feed on. I've heard that they raise humans, keeping them alive and cultivating them like a sick gardening hobby.
Finally I reach the graveyard, which is relatively the same. The random food wrapper or other piece of unrecognizable garbage floats by, and I gather it to throw away. I don't know what I expected, but when I came to Buffy's grave, I stopped short. It was the slayer's grave, yet it was untouched. I guess I'd expected graffiti at the least, and actual carvings or turning over of the headstone. I could tell that something was behind me, and without turning around, I spoke. 'But of course Spike would never allow Buffy's grave to be damaged.' The growl told me I had found a minion.
I turned slowly, looking as bored as I felt. The vamp hissed and sprung. I waited until the last minute, and pulled a stake from my jacket. The moron had managed to jump right onto it. Not bothering to shake the dust from my clothes, I turned back to Buffy's grave to sit in wait.
As I expected, the wait wasn't long. I guessed he had vampires watching the graveyard to enforce his rules. Only I hadn't expected one thing. I stared at Spike and Dru, knowing my facial expressions were so trained that nothing was given away, but the shock hit me hard. 'Little Bit. What a surprise.' Spike's fangs gleamed in the cold light of the moon.
Dru sniffed the air delicately, and turned her strikingly beautiful face to the sky. 'The moon says she smells of slaying, and I think she's right.' Her face was human still, and childishly innocent.
"Of course it's right, you crazy bitch." I muttered. "I just killed one of your creeps trying to sneak up on me."
Spike laughed. "You think I'd let any of the really good ones waste away here? They're all gathering a feast for my princess." Dru cooed at Spike, leaning into him.
"A pretty party! My Spike is giving me a party to celebrate his return." My laugh came out sounding more like a scoff.
"Return? So you finally found a way to reverse the neuter job?" I clapped, as though I were attending an opera instead of this soap opera.
"Bravo, Spike." He ignored my last comment.
Truly, I was scared. Buffy had never been able to defeat these two together. I knew that I wasn't ready, either. Still, I waited. "I always knew you'd make a scrumptious vampire, Pet. What do you say?" He released Dru to come nearer, threateningly.
I held my ground, not letting any sign of weakness break through my carefully built up defenses. "Hmm, let me think." I pretended to seriously consider it.
"No." I said simply, gripping my stake as though it could save me.
I knew that if I was careful to stay away from Spike long enough that I could leap next to Dru. I would be close enough to stake the unsuspecting vampire, which was watching Spike threaten to turn me with glee. Of course, that would make Spike fighting mad, but it would give me better odds and a cramp in his style. "Sorry, Pet. You don't have a choice in the matter." Dru giggled, the high-pitched sound piercing my ears.
I kicked Spike, and he sprawled against a far tombstone. I jumped, and upon landing, Dru spun around to face me, vamped. Her lips curled back over her teeth in a menacing grin. I stabbed her through the heart before she could act, and deflected Spike's charge. He bent over Dru's ashes, face turned away from me. I could tell he was crying. "Get up, you pansy." I ordered, sick of his mooning over people long gone.
"You're dead." He promised, getting into a fighting stance.
"Bring it on, Billy." I used the nickname the Scoobies had given him so long ago, after Billy Idol.
Spike lashed out, his anger making his hits seem a lot more painful. I blocked most of them effectively, except the worst of the blows, a kick directly to my chest, just below the collarbone. I felt the bones crack as his foot impacted, and I flew across the graveyard, landing atop a stone sepulcher. Coughing, I slowly tried to sit up. Being more energy than human did me some good, but a hit like that took me down hard, and I wasn't going to recover like a slayer would. I immediately regretted giving him an opening like that as he leapt up near me, leering.
"Poor little bit. Trying to fit into the Slayer's shoes?" I coughed again, tasting blood in my mouth.
"Poor little Spike. Living in the past? Buffy's not the slayer anymore. She's dead." I kicked him off the tomb and rolled off after him.
We exchanged a few more hits, but I fell again, still sprawling from my earlier hurt. My chest felt collapsed, and it was hard to breathe. Spike bent over me. "Looks like I win." I smiled, a painful thing, but so sweet.
"Looks like you underestimate me again." As if on cue, flames from the town were visible from the graveyard, and Spike stared, stunned for a brief moment.
"Most of my vampires are underground." He smiled again, victorious.
"Just as I figured." From the crypt, a fireball exploded, sending hot waves of flame leaping toward the sky.
Spike was speechless. I knew his numbers had been cut down severely, probably less than half remained. I reached into my pocked and sprayed him with a bottle. He took the liquid right in the face, and screamed. "Of course, I'm not done." I lit a match, savoring the little flame of purity.
That flame was going to cleanse this town. "The people have already been warned, and they're safe. We've still got a problem, though. You." Spike was on the ground, covering his burning face.
I threw the match onto him, watching the lighter fluid really do its job. As a final show, I poured the last of it on him. Stumbling, I moved to Buffy's grave. I didn't make it. Halfway there, I tripped and was unable to get back up. Coughing up blood, I dragged myself to Buffy's grave. Once I reached it, I threw my arms around the tombstone, trying to remember what Buffy looked like. And I swear, as hard as I tried all I could remember was she had the most trusting blue eyes. I was tired, really tired, and as I looked up, I could see my savior approaching in the shape of fire. I didn't look again. I just turned to the tombstone, and told Buffy I'd see her soon.
But instead of feeling any pain, I just felt safe. I saw something, just behind the tombstone, and was sure it was a vampire that had escaped my inferno. But as I looked up again, it was Buffy. She smiled at me, and told me to follow her. I told her I couldn't but she insisted, and slowly, I rose. Lurching after her, Buffy led me back to my car, still safe from the approaching disaster. "You've got to get out of here." I was delirious, now, and I started to cry.
"I'm not leaving without you. You left me before, and its not happening again!" Buffy smiled.
"I never left you, Dawnie. Why do you think you still play the part of savior? Now get our of here, so you can keep doing it." I didn't want to go.
"But Buffy, please. Where did you go? What's it like up there?" Buffy reached out to me and wiped off my dirty, tear-streaked face.
"It's everything you hope for, Dawn. Its paradise." She said very simply.
I didn't like simply. "Are you happy?" Buffy opened the car door, and pushed me gently into the seat.
The weird thing was she still looked only 20. She looked younger than I do. "Yeah, I am. I have mom." I must've looked alarmed, and quickly butt in.
"So Angel isn't-" Buffy laughed.
"And I have Angel." I wanted to sleep more than anything, but Buffy kissed my cheek, and told me to start the car.
I did as she asked. "Sis?" I asked, wanting to talk to her for just a little bit longer.
"We'll be waiting for you, Dawnie." She promised.
And then, where she stood, there was nothing. Slowly, I pushed down on the gas and sped away from Sunnydale.