Author's note: This little piece was written after reading the first Harry
Potter book, the Philosopher's Stone. All characters and names (except for
Albert Quagmire) are not made up by me, but J.K. Rowling. Thanks to my
good friend Marita for introducing me to these lovely worlds, both Harry
Potter and "fanfic". Anyway...I hope you enjoy.

**************

Sitting cross-legged on the damp grass, Albert Quagmire new he would soon
have a wet backside. Never mind that, he thought, must concentrate on the
task at hand. The task at hand was however, rather difficult. Never having
turned a sparrow into a chocolate mud cake before, Albert had to concentrate
intensely.
This rather trying situation had come about with his sudden realisation
early that morning, that is was Angelina Johnson's birthday. Angelina was of
course, the stunning chaser of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and the young
Albert was quite taken by the lass.
With a wild swing of his wand, Albert let loose a puff of blue smoke and
watched in dismay as his target sparrow suddenly sprouted an enormous
serpentine tail. "Ahhh.....Passer Transformare Placenta!" he cried again,
slicing the air with his birchwood wand. With a streak of yellow light, a bolt
of magical energy sprung forth and the unfortunate creature was popped into
nonexistence.

"Oh deary me...what'll I do now?" Albert mumbled to himself.

"A spot of bother there Quagmire..." came a sinister sounding voice.

Albert jumped in spite of himself. "Goodness! Why are you out here so
early?" Albert demanded. "And what are you playing at Malfoy, sneaking up
so?"

"Was just out for a stroll and saw you having a spot of trouble, that's all. It
was nasty what happened to that little bird wasn't it?" sneered Malfoy.

"Oh, you won't tell anyone I hurt it will you? I was only trying to make a
cake for Angelina and it was the only thing about that had eggs in it...."
blabbered Albert.

"Ah yes, Angelina Johnson. Bit of a looker eh Quagmire? But what would
the likes of you think you would have to gain by giving her a filthy cake?"

"What's wrong with my cakes?" asked Albert indignantly.

"Well, you can't make 'em for a start. Still, we can't expect much from a
mudblood now can we?"

"Shut up Malfoy! But.... yes..well..I was only...and what do you mean 'the
likes of her'?" he stuttered.

"Come on Quagmire, an attractive girl like that, you don't stand a chance.
She'd be far better off with someone with a good standing. Wealthy too. Yes,
perhaps someone like me..." His face split into a slimy grin.

"Nonsense Malfoy, she hates you. Anyway, I am only making her a cake,
afterall, it is her birthday. Besides, word is she fancies Lee Jordan." Albert
quickly spat out.

"I don't have time for this rubbish anyway Quagmire. I do hope you have
better luck with your cake..." The tone of voice suggested Malfoy hoped no
such thing. He swaggered off, not before kicking a large clump of mud onto
Albert's sitting form.

"Serpent!" called out Albert.

"Mudblood!" retorted Malfoy.

As Draco Malfoy strutted back to the Hogwart's castle, Albert Quagmire sat,
chilled to the bone from the wet grass. He sat, and wept.