I wrote this story many moons ago, never intending it to go past one chapter. BUT, it is now 1:30 in the morning, I am on coffee (oh god...), I am bored (god help us all...), and I have decided to write a second chapter!!!!!! MWA HA HA HA HA!
So, without further adu, I present to you......
THE SECOND CHAPTER!!! ::dramatic chord::
----------------------------------------
Announcer - Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of 'Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks?' It is my great honor to present to you our new host, who is none other than....::dramatic pause:: LORD VOLDEMORT!!!
A random member of the audience screams.
Voldemort - ::jumps onto the stage from a very high place:: Thank you Announcer! Now, wait, before you all get up and run away, thinking I'm going to brutally murder you, that's not the case. As least not yet. ::gets evil gleam in eye::
A random member of the audience gets up and attempts to run out the door.
Voldemort - AVADA KEDAVRA! ::audience member falls over dead:: Does anybody else want to leave? I didn't think so. Now, as I was saying, we have 10 new contestants here that all are itching to win 5 bucks! And they are....
Dilly-chan!
Dilandau - ::sweatdrops:: Don't call me that.
Sirius Black!
All the female audience members swoon and faint, except for Ten'oh Haruka, who just rolls her eyes.
Hououji Fuu!
Fuu - It is an honor to be here today.
Audience - BOOOOOO!!!!!! ::throws tomatoes, moldy spam, and other assorted "things"::
Arisugawa Juri!
Juri - ::smiles cooly and gives a little wave::
Haruka faints.
Merle...um....Merle!
Merle - Word. (A/N if you haven't read "Was It All Just A Dream? Or A Fanfic?" you might not get the whole Merle being ghetto thing. ::shrugs:: Oh well. She's ghetto.)
Zazu Torque!
Zazu - Bottoms up! ::throws back a bottle of whiskey::
Movie Miki!
Movie Miki - ::smiles cutely and clicks stopwatch::
Allen Scheazer!
Allen - ::smiles and pushes his long gorgeous bishonen hair back:: I use Herbal Essences.
Iron Chef Japanese, Masaharu Morimoto!
Morimoto (In bad English-dubbed voice ) - ::bows:: I am so happy to be here today.
And finally.....a big piece of cheese!
Cheese - ::.........is silent::
Voldemort - But let's not waste anymore time! ::glares at audience:: Or else...... ::pauses for a moment, before continuing:: To reach the Hot Seat, our contestants must first correctly answer the Fastest Finger question. Whoever comes up with the correct answer first gets to come up here and sit next to me. ::in dark tones:: My, won't they be lucky.....
And the fastest finger question is....
Put the following days of the week in order, from first to last!
A. Monday
B. Tuesday
C. Wednesday
D. Saturday
And who got to it quickest? Why, it's none other....than.....::flatly:: oh look. Sirius Black.
Sirius - ::suavely stands up and suavely walks up to the hot seat, where he suavely sits down. Okay, everything this guy does is suave::
Voldemort - ::grumbling:: Well, I guess I'm supposed to talk to you about your life and stuff. So....I hear you're an escaped convict?
Sirius - And might I add that I was framed? ::glares at camera:: That's right Pettigrew...I can see you.
Peter/Cameraman - Eep!
Voldemort - ::clears throat:: Can we just get on with this already? First question, for $1.
Sirius - ::blinks:: What's a dollar?
Voldemort - It's Muggle money....
Sirius - Well, then, why would I want that?
Voldemort - ::sighs with disgust:: Just play along, okay? You do and I won't kill you....
Sirius - Whatever.
Voldemort - And our first question is....
What is the name of the character on All My Children who most recently died? (A/N Kristen, this one's for you ^^)
A. Bianca
B. Gillian
C. Gabriel the creepy stalker guy
D. Bob
Sirius - Oh my god! You couldn't have made an easier question! All My Children is my favorite soap! I watch it every single day! B, Gillian, final answer.
Voldemort - ::cocks an eyebrow:: You watch All My Children? ::coughs:: Yeah, anyway, that's right. And Sirius Black has just won himself a dollar! Let's move on.
Who is the author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series? ::blinks:: Um...oro? Who came up with this question?
Peter/Cameraman - ::slowly backs away::
Voldemort - Well, whatever. Your choices are...
A. Anne Rice
B. Mary Higgans Clark
C. Steven King
D. J. K. Rowling
Sirius - Can't we just let this one pass? I think we both know what the answer is....
Voldemort - Just play along.
Sirius - Um...okay. Gee Mister Lord Voldemort Sir, I have no idea what the answer could be. Maybe if I think reeeeaaallllyyy hard and put on a face of intense concentration, it will come to me! ::puts on a face of "intense concentration", which just makes him look constipated::
Voldemort - Oh, god, Sirius. ::takes out wand:: JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!!
Sirius - ::cowers:: Okay...it's D, J. K. Rowling. Final answer.
Voldemort - And it's correct! (to Sirius) See, isn't it better when you just play along?
(back to normal voice) On to the $3 question!
On the popular cartoon Spongebob Squarepants, which of the following characters is a starfish?
A. Patrick
B. Squidward
C. Sandy
D. Pearl
Sirius - Hm....this is a tough one. Considering the fact that I have never heard of the show in my entire life, I can honestly say that I have no idea.
A random audience member stands up and screams. "HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE HEARD OF SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS? HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK?"
Sirius - Well, PARDON ME for being framed by rat boy over there and being forced to spend half my life in a dirty cell in Azkaban! I'm outta here. ::gets up and walks away::
Voldemort - ::sweatdrops:: Well, he certainly was a run contestant. But I hate dwelling, so let's not dwell. The next fastest finger question is as follows...
Put the following colors in order from lightest to darkest!
A. Light Purple
B. Medium Purple
C. Dark Purple
D. Really Dark Purple
And the person with the fastest fingers is....::pauses:: Hm...that sounds really kinky. I wonder who scripted this? Yeah, anyway, Merle!
Merle casually walks down to the hot seat, somehow managing not to trip on her super-baggy pants.
Merle - Yo, wuz up my homie?
Voldemort - ::sweatdrop:: I'm not even gonna ask. First question!
Complete this popular jingle. "I am stuck on BandAid brand cause..."
A. They smell like a piece of cheese.
Big Piece of Cheese - ::is insulted::
B. Sirius has fleas.
(from somewhere far away) Sirius - I heard that!
C. Germs don't stick on me.
D. The Titanic sunk in the sea.
Merle - Well ain't this an easy q. I'm a say C, final answer, ya know what I'm sayin?
Voldemort - ::flatly:: Yeah, I know what you're saying. ::normal voice:: And it's correct! You've just won $1! Next question....
Spam (TM) has a very distinctive flavor. And it is...
A. God only knows.
B. Used Kleenex.
C. Explosive curry.
D. Cabbage water.
Merle - ::blinks:: Yo, what be dis "Spam" you talkin about? I ain't never heard a it.
Voldemort - ::digs around in pocket of robe and grins maniacally:: You wanna try some?
Merle - Uh...no. Not wit them choices. ::gets up and walks away, still managing not to trip over her pants::
Voldemort - Well, that's all the time we have for today! Rest assured, the show *will* continue, as soon as Dusk thinks up some more questions!
Dusk - ::grumbles:: I'm working on it! And if you wanna stay in this fic, you'd better go get me some more coffee!!
Voldemort - Er....(thinks to himself - Hm. Do I really wanna stay in this story? Let me weigh the options. Either way, I get to torture and/or kill random people, but if I stay I get to do it in front of a big audience, plus whoever reads the story.) I'll do it!
Dusk - ::grins:: I knew you would.....
END
for now, anyway
DISCLAIMER - ::claps hands together:: Oh yay! My favorite part of the fic! Ugh...yeah right. Escaflowne and all characters belongs to Sunrise, methinks, Harry Potter and all characters belong to J. K. Rowling, Fuu belongs in a torture chamber, but, unfortunately, she belongs to CLAMP, who keep her safe......::grumbles to self:: SKU and all characters belong to Kunihiko Ikuhara/Chiho Saito and the Be-Papas, Zazu also belongs to CLAMP, Iron Chef belongs to um...Fuji TV or something like that....well, I don't own Iron Chef, I can tell ya that much. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire still belongs to some big corporate TV executive guy, All My Children belongs to somebody who works for ABC.....ugh. I give up. I hate disclaimers. I think from now on I'll just go with the standard "You recognize it, I don't own it" thing.
Oh, and all flames will be used to burn Fuu in my backyard.
So, without further adu, I present to you......
THE SECOND CHAPTER!!! ::dramatic chord::
----------------------------------------
Announcer - Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of 'Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks?' It is my great honor to present to you our new host, who is none other than....::dramatic pause:: LORD VOLDEMORT!!!
A random member of the audience screams.
Voldemort - ::jumps onto the stage from a very high place:: Thank you Announcer! Now, wait, before you all get up and run away, thinking I'm going to brutally murder you, that's not the case. As least not yet. ::gets evil gleam in eye::
A random member of the audience gets up and attempts to run out the door.
Voldemort - AVADA KEDAVRA! ::audience member falls over dead:: Does anybody else want to leave? I didn't think so. Now, as I was saying, we have 10 new contestants here that all are itching to win 5 bucks! And they are....
Dilly-chan!
Dilandau - ::sweatdrops:: Don't call me that.
Sirius Black!
All the female audience members swoon and faint, except for Ten'oh Haruka, who just rolls her eyes.
Hououji Fuu!
Fuu - It is an honor to be here today.
Audience - BOOOOOO!!!!!! ::throws tomatoes, moldy spam, and other assorted "things"::
Arisugawa Juri!
Juri - ::smiles cooly and gives a little wave::
Haruka faints.
Merle...um....Merle!
Merle - Word. (A/N if you haven't read "Was It All Just A Dream? Or A Fanfic?" you might not get the whole Merle being ghetto thing. ::shrugs:: Oh well. She's ghetto.)
Zazu Torque!
Zazu - Bottoms up! ::throws back a bottle of whiskey::
Movie Miki!
Movie Miki - ::smiles cutely and clicks stopwatch::
Allen Scheazer!
Allen - ::smiles and pushes his long gorgeous bishonen hair back:: I use Herbal Essences.
Iron Chef Japanese, Masaharu Morimoto!
Morimoto (In bad English-dubbed voice ) - ::bows:: I am so happy to be here today.
And finally.....a big piece of cheese!
Cheese - ::.........is silent::
Voldemort - But let's not waste anymore time! ::glares at audience:: Or else...... ::pauses for a moment, before continuing:: To reach the Hot Seat, our contestants must first correctly answer the Fastest Finger question. Whoever comes up with the correct answer first gets to come up here and sit next to me. ::in dark tones:: My, won't they be lucky.....
And the fastest finger question is....
Put the following days of the week in order, from first to last!
A. Monday
B. Tuesday
C. Wednesday
D. Saturday
And who got to it quickest? Why, it's none other....than.....::flatly:: oh look. Sirius Black.
Sirius - ::suavely stands up and suavely walks up to the hot seat, where he suavely sits down. Okay, everything this guy does is suave::
Voldemort - ::grumbling:: Well, I guess I'm supposed to talk to you about your life and stuff. So....I hear you're an escaped convict?
Sirius - And might I add that I was framed? ::glares at camera:: That's right Pettigrew...I can see you.
Peter/Cameraman - Eep!
Voldemort - ::clears throat:: Can we just get on with this already? First question, for $1.
Sirius - ::blinks:: What's a dollar?
Voldemort - It's Muggle money....
Sirius - Well, then, why would I want that?
Voldemort - ::sighs with disgust:: Just play along, okay? You do and I won't kill you....
Sirius - Whatever.
Voldemort - And our first question is....
What is the name of the character on All My Children who most recently died? (A/N Kristen, this one's for you ^^)
A. Bianca
B. Gillian
C. Gabriel the creepy stalker guy
D. Bob
Sirius - Oh my god! You couldn't have made an easier question! All My Children is my favorite soap! I watch it every single day! B, Gillian, final answer.
Voldemort - ::cocks an eyebrow:: You watch All My Children? ::coughs:: Yeah, anyway, that's right. And Sirius Black has just won himself a dollar! Let's move on.
Who is the author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series? ::blinks:: Um...oro? Who came up with this question?
Peter/Cameraman - ::slowly backs away::
Voldemort - Well, whatever. Your choices are...
A. Anne Rice
B. Mary Higgans Clark
C. Steven King
D. J. K. Rowling
Sirius - Can't we just let this one pass? I think we both know what the answer is....
Voldemort - Just play along.
Sirius - Um...okay. Gee Mister Lord Voldemort Sir, I have no idea what the answer could be. Maybe if I think reeeeaaallllyyy hard and put on a face of intense concentration, it will come to me! ::puts on a face of "intense concentration", which just makes him look constipated::
Voldemort - Oh, god, Sirius. ::takes out wand:: JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!!
Sirius - ::cowers:: Okay...it's D, J. K. Rowling. Final answer.
Voldemort - And it's correct! (to Sirius) See, isn't it better when you just play along?
(back to normal voice) On to the $3 question!
On the popular cartoon Spongebob Squarepants, which of the following characters is a starfish?
A. Patrick
B. Squidward
C. Sandy
D. Pearl
Sirius - Hm....this is a tough one. Considering the fact that I have never heard of the show in my entire life, I can honestly say that I have no idea.
A random audience member stands up and screams. "HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE HEARD OF SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS? HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK?"
Sirius - Well, PARDON ME for being framed by rat boy over there and being forced to spend half my life in a dirty cell in Azkaban! I'm outta here. ::gets up and walks away::
Voldemort - ::sweatdrops:: Well, he certainly was a run contestant. But I hate dwelling, so let's not dwell. The next fastest finger question is as follows...
Put the following colors in order from lightest to darkest!
A. Light Purple
B. Medium Purple
C. Dark Purple
D. Really Dark Purple
And the person with the fastest fingers is....::pauses:: Hm...that sounds really kinky. I wonder who scripted this? Yeah, anyway, Merle!
Merle casually walks down to the hot seat, somehow managing not to trip on her super-baggy pants.
Merle - Yo, wuz up my homie?
Voldemort - ::sweatdrop:: I'm not even gonna ask. First question!
Complete this popular jingle. "I am stuck on BandAid brand cause..."
A. They smell like a piece of cheese.
Big Piece of Cheese - ::is insulted::
B. Sirius has fleas.
(from somewhere far away) Sirius - I heard that!
C. Germs don't stick on me.
D. The Titanic sunk in the sea.
Merle - Well ain't this an easy q. I'm a say C, final answer, ya know what I'm sayin?
Voldemort - ::flatly:: Yeah, I know what you're saying. ::normal voice:: And it's correct! You've just won $1! Next question....
Spam (TM) has a very distinctive flavor. And it is...
A. God only knows.
B. Used Kleenex.
C. Explosive curry.
D. Cabbage water.
Merle - ::blinks:: Yo, what be dis "Spam" you talkin about? I ain't never heard a it.
Voldemort - ::digs around in pocket of robe and grins maniacally:: You wanna try some?
Merle - Uh...no. Not wit them choices. ::gets up and walks away, still managing not to trip over her pants::
Voldemort - Well, that's all the time we have for today! Rest assured, the show *will* continue, as soon as Dusk thinks up some more questions!
Dusk - ::grumbles:: I'm working on it! And if you wanna stay in this fic, you'd better go get me some more coffee!!
Voldemort - Er....(thinks to himself - Hm. Do I really wanna stay in this story? Let me weigh the options. Either way, I get to torture and/or kill random people, but if I stay I get to do it in front of a big audience, plus whoever reads the story.) I'll do it!
Dusk - ::grins:: I knew you would.....
END
for now, anyway
DISCLAIMER - ::claps hands together:: Oh yay! My favorite part of the fic! Ugh...yeah right. Escaflowne and all characters belongs to Sunrise, methinks, Harry Potter and all characters belong to J. K. Rowling, Fuu belongs in a torture chamber, but, unfortunately, she belongs to CLAMP, who keep her safe......::grumbles to self:: SKU and all characters belong to Kunihiko Ikuhara/Chiho Saito and the Be-Papas, Zazu also belongs to CLAMP, Iron Chef belongs to um...Fuji TV or something like that....well, I don't own Iron Chef, I can tell ya that much. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire still belongs to some big corporate TV executive guy, All My Children belongs to somebody who works for ABC.....ugh. I give up. I hate disclaimers. I think from now on I'll just go with the standard "You recognize it, I don't own it" thing.
Oh, and all flames will be used to burn Fuu in my backyard.
