~*Lake*~

Shel didn't say anything since they got there. They were sitting there for at least five minutes on the bench next to the lake. "Shel, talk to me?" Scott pleaded with her. "What do you want to talk about?" Shelby retorted back. "Um…Maybe about what happened back there?" "Well nothing really happened so lets drop it!" "Shelby! I cant drop it something is wrong and I cant stand it when you don't tell me things. I love you and I don't want you to become distant on me again. What is bugging you? Tell me, please." Scott begged with his sky blue eyes that Shelby adored. "Scott…. I don't know." "You don't know what?" "I don't know anything anymore. I'm not me I cant be as tough as I was before. I don't want to go home for Christmas. I'm scared…." Shelby trailed off. She got it out finally, she told him and she couldn't help but become a softy and cry. Scott instantly gave her a hug and didn't let go till she was asleep in his arms. He loved to watch her sleep she almost always seemed at peace.

~*Dorm*~

Shelby just got back and Angel was sitting on her bed listening to her headphones and writing poems in her journal. She turned the CD- Disturbed to song number 4 called down with the sickness (a/n my fave) This was her favorite song she loved the lyrics it always put her in a better mood after listening to it. Her fave part was ~ And when I dream
And when I dream
And when I dream
And when I dream!!!!
No mommy, don't do it again
Don't do it again
I'll be a good boy
I'll be a good boy, I promise
No mommy don't hit me Oh-oohh
Why did you have to hit me like that mommy?
Don't do it! You're hurting me Oh-oohh!
Why did you have to be such a bitch?
Why don't you,
Why don't you fuck off and die?
Why can't you just fuck off and die?
Why can't you just leave here and die?
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
FUCK YOU!!!
I don't need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore
Would you like to see how it feels mommy?
Here it comes, get ready to die!

Ooh ah ah ah ah!
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up
Come on get down with the sickness
You fucker get up
Come on get down with the sickness
 
The song ends shortly and she gets a sudden inspirational thought. These came often, they always came in a time of confusion and hatred or a time of sadness and love her pen quickly wrote across the lined paper in her journal. She wrote :
a rush of air brushes my face
a time fly's back in my mind
a time of happiness of joy
no sorrow
a time where I couldn't wait
for every tomorrow
where everything sparkles
shines in the light
where day is equal with night
I'm always happy in this place
no tears stream down my face
but then another time fly's though my head
a time where I'm trapped and almost dead
a time where fears and cries call hoping for
an answer
screaming for some hope
hatred traps my soul inside
and I have no where to hide
tomorrow is like another day of torture
cold dark winds run through my mind
none of them help me confide
at where I am now
I'm stuck in the middle
I'm lost in a deep cloud
and no one can help me find my way out...

Not too much later she fell to sleep with thoughts of the day flashing in her head.

Next ~ A dream (there's always a dream!!)

The poem was written by a good friend of mine DeeDee she's an awesome poem writer but anyways to look at more of her poems go to http://www.geocities.com/lildeez4u/Poemzbymehome.html