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Author's notes:
Well, here it is, my second fan fic attempt, ever! Hopefully you guys'll like it--but if you don't, I'd still love to hear from you. I'm very open to feedback. So please, please everyone R&R! Thanks so much! Anyway, the standard disclaimer applies. I do not own any of the Hana Yori Dango characters or story, nor will I ever. The words in italics are thoughts of the characters.
Okay, I don't know if this story actually fits in exactly anywhere in terms of continuity, since I don't have enough details from the manga ^_^ I've seen all of the anime episodes (minus the movie) but have read veeeeeeeeery little manga—not even one full volume. But I think it would work out right before volume 27 or so. I just know the basic plot points of what happened in the manga from the HYDML and my own web research (but I do have all 30 volumes on their way to me right now from Japan! Wai~! I can't wait!). Anyway, to understand the premise for the story, you'll need to know the following… spoilers if you don't wanna know anything that happens in the manga: Doumyouji's mother hates him hanging around with Tsukushi, and so lately they have to sneak around to be together w/o her knowing. She has hired some spy type people (called SPs) to keep track of Doumyouji's whereabouts so that he doesn't hang out with Tsukushi. Okay, that's about it, really. Other than that, everything is pretty self explanatory.
Here are some terms I use that you're probably familiar with (if you watch anime or read manga) but I'll throw in the (rough) meanings just in case:
*"Anou" ="Ummm…"
*Rogers and Astaire = Famous dance partners.
*"Sore jaa" = "Well, then"
*"Joudan…Joudan da yo" = "Kidding, it's just a joke"
*"Chh, teme." = This one is kinda hard to give an exact meaning for. It's something like "Geez, you."
* "Amon ja nee yo!" = "I'm not Amon!"
* "Sugooooooooi!"= spoken, drawn out version of "sugoi!" which means roughly "great!/fantastic!/incredible!"
*"Gomen" ="sorry"
* "U—un" ="Y—yes
* "Ii yo" = "It's okay"
* "Atashi no baka" = "I'm such an idiot"
* "Doumyouji wa inai…" = Doumyouji isn't here
*"Oi!" ="Hey!"
*"Doumyouji no koto ga suki." = "I love you, Doumyouji
*"Doumyouji no koto ga daisuki." = "I'm deeply in love with you, Doumyouji"
* "Hontou da?" = "Seriously
Alrighty, on with the 'fic!
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"Why are we here again?!" Tsukushi whined as a man took her coat and purse.
"I've told you a thousand times, already," countered Tsukasa. "I've handled this gathering for my father in the past, and he doesn't want things to change. My father's relationships with the people here are very important, and he wants me to put on a good show. He said that as long as I agree to show up and behave as usual, he would allow me to spend the evening with the anyone whom I chose—even you." His eyes sparkled with anticipation.
"But Doumyouji, you know I'm not good at things like this…" she fidgeted, gingerly fingering the hem of her new, $1000, silver party dress. "I just feel so out of place…."
He placed a hand on the small of her back and began to lead her into the hall. "You look absolutely amazing, Makino. The only one who would even venture to guess that you haven't been to a hundred of these things would be you. I know you're not into the fancy party scene, nor I am particularly..." He cleared his throat and tugged at the collar of his tuxedo shirt. "But I wanted to see you. I had to see you. I would have done anything and everything in my power to have been able to be with you tonight."
Doumyouji…It was so hard for him to deny him anything when he spoke so innocently."But, Doumyouji, we could have seen each other soon, anyway…I'm sure we could have gone somewhere without the SPs finding out…"
"NO. I'm sick and tired of sneaking around. I want to be able to be out in the open with you. I want to be able to walk down the street, where everyone can see us together. I want to show you off."
Tsukushi blushed. "Doumyouji…"Alright, now were here, and we're going to have a great time…." He held out his arm for her, and added "Shall we?"
"Un" she agreed, gleefully. Then after a moment added "Doumyouji…"
"Yes?" He looked at her, his eyes wide with wonder as to what she would say..
"Anou…." I can't bring myself to say what I want to…."Anou….thank you…for the dress…"
He smiled at her kindly, but could not completely conceal his disappointment that she hadn't said the words he'd been dying to hear. "You're welcome."
Upon entering and making a few introductions, Tsukushi and Doumyouji found their seats. Though it wasn't very hard, of course as they were the best seats in the hall. As Tsukushi went to sit down, she was suddenly grabbed by the arm.
"Let's dance." Said Tsukasa assertively, leaving no room for her to mistake his words as a mere request.
"W—Wait a sec, Doumyouji—"
"Come on, let's go" he had cut her off, dragging her by the arm until they had reached the middle of the dance floor. Releasing her arm and letting it fall limply at her side, he slowly eyed her up and down. A moment of silence. And then—
"Do you know how to freak?"
Tsukushi's eyes became small dots as she stared at him incredulously. Freaking with Doumyouji would be an experience in itself—but in a place like this, no less?! Just what was that guy's problem?!
"No? Sore jaa…how about the bump and grind?"
A super-deformed Tsukushi fell over where she stood. As look of shear horror began to spread over her features, he managed to sputter out
"Joudan …heh…haha…joudan da yo!" before he was unable to contain himself any longer and burst out laughing so hard that it drew the attention of everyone in the place.
Tsukushi's eyes became small dots. Doumyouji really is strange…
After Doumyouji had managed to regain his composure, and most of the party's attendees had gone back to their own business, he looked her squarely in the eyes to reassure her. "Stop worrying. You'll be alright," he told her matter-of-factly. Raising an eyebrow, and bringing his fist to his chin thoughtfully, he asked "Can you dance at all?"
Makino was not much of a dancer. Not only was she inexperienced (for she lacked any relationships that would have lent themselves to such an activity), but her time had always been consumed by her studies to get into Eitoku and her part time job at the Dango shop. She looked down. "Well, not..not exactly…" she admitted quietly as she unconsciously wrung her hands.
"Well, no matter," he said confidently as he touched his thumb and forefinger to her chin—lifting her face upwards until her eyes met his. Leaning in, his face nearing hers, he whispered, "I'll take care of everything."
And with that, he motioned for her to stay put before making his way through the crowd towards the band. She had seen Doumyouji lean over and speak to the pianist briefly before turning and making his way back to her. On his face she could see that same boyish, carefree smile that she so adored. She smiled softly. This was how she always wanted to see him.
As soon as Doumyouji had reached her, and not a moment sooner, the band began playing the waltz. "May I have this dance?" Doumyouji asked, bowing before her and extending his hand. Tsukushi was stunned. Her jaw dropped. Who was this man and what had he done with Doumyouji?!
She squinted her eyes and looked at him more closely. "Amon?" She questioned him, puzzled.
"Chh, teme. Amon ja nee yo!" He stared at her, clearly not amused. He was Doumyouji, all right. After a moment, his features softened a bit. Then, averting his eyes from Tsukushi's and blushing a little, he told her in a low voice "I just thought it would be cool…that's all." Then, with a twinge of red still lingering on his cheeks, he looked back to her. "Let's dance."
As touched by his efforts as she was, she would have had a hard enough time with a more casual dance—but to be expected to Waltz?! "Doumyouji, I really don't think that this is a good idea…" she cautioned him.
"Nonsense. Just follow my lead." He took her hands into his and positioned them properly. Tsukushi thought back to when she could hardly stand the thought of Doumyouji, let alone his touch. But the feel of him skin on hers no longer appalled her. It delighted her. It excited her. And she fully welcomed it. "No turning back now," he said, and began to lead her around the floor. Gracefully, and seemingly effortlessly, they floated across the floor, adored by others.
Tsukushi was amazed. "Sugoooooooi!' she said in awe, amazed that she could be dancing like this—amazed that they could be dancing like this. She knew she was not capable of this on her own. Doumyouji was simply incredible. "How'd you ever learn to dance like this?" she asked him.
Oh, well, you know I've been primed to be the CEO of the Doumyouji Corporation someday, and to deal with company clients in the meantime, since day one. Well, this was just one of the many things I've been taught…" he continued sarcastically"…you know, in addition to which fork goes with what course, the proper way to greet potential clients, and how to knock off your competition without tipping off the cops." He grinned, becoming more serious again. "…All of the stuffy, social functions like this one like to include dancing." He chuckled, remembering. "Man, I was SO against dance lessons, too. I mean, I threw a fit every Tuesday, just knowing I was gonna have to go to that damned lesson, rain or shine."
"Doumyouji Tsukasa, throw a fit? Noooo, I find that truly hard to believe…" she teased.
"Hey, watch it…"
"Gomen."
"….Anyway, at the time the only thing that kept them from being completely intolerable was the fact that Rui, Akira, and Soujirou were all forced into them as well…though I probably would have given in and enjoyed it had I known that one day it would allow me to be here…with you…like this."
Tsukushi's eyes widened slightly, and she suddenly became aware of the spectacle they had created. While Tsukasa had been telling his story, the outside world ceased to exist for her. She had been too caught up in the twinkle of his eyes and the deep, soothing tone of his voice to notice anything else. But as she looked around, she noticed that everyone in the room had stopped to admire them. "Doumyouji…everyone's staring…"
"Let them stare," he replied and continued dancing, grasping her waist a little more securely. He didn't want anything to spoil this moment for the two of them—and he didn't care who was watching. Makino may not have a lot of money, and she may not be the most refined woman in the world, but she is (and always will be) the most important woman in the world to him.
As the song came to an end, Doumyouji reluctantly released his hold on Tsukushi's waist and the two of them accepted the assorted compliments bestowed upon them by onlookers. As another song began, he began to escort Tsukushi back to their table.
Half way back to their table, Tsukasa was stopped by a tap on his shoulder. "Excuse me for interrupting, but you're Doumyouji Tsukasa, are you not?"
"U—un," he replied, slightly taken aback. To his knowledge, everyone here would have already known who he was, and quite well in fact. This evening was supposed to be especially for the Doumyouji Corporation and its various present and future business partners. "And you would be…?"
"I'm Kurosawa Yuuko."
"Kurosawa…Kurosawa of Kurowasa technology?"
"Yes, that would be me. Kurosawa Kenatrou is my father."
"Ahh" Tsukasa smiled, "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. This is here is my—" Tsukasa stopped short. He had always liked to call Makino "his woman" but knew that she didn't particularly take a liking to that term. But then, how often did he really not do just exactly what he wanted to? "This here is my woman, Makino Tsukushi."
Tsukushi turned beet red as she stuttered "Nice…nice to meet you."
"Your woman?" Questioned Yuuko, and giggled. "How cute. Say, Doumyouji-san, I was wondering if you might do me the honor of dancing with me."
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that won't be possi—"
"Ii yo, Doumyouji," Tsukushi interjected. "I think I'm going to get myself something to drink, anyway. You go ahead and dance. With all of that talent, it'd be a shame not to let everyone see it."
Doumyouji face faulted. He had wanted this to be an evening for just Makino and him. He had wanted to make memories that would last them a lifetime. He had wanted to be with her and her alone. He felt saddened that she obviously did not return the feelings.
"But Makino, I really—"
"Oh, come now Doumyouji-san, you don't really want me to dance all alone, do you?" Yuuko pouted. "Come now, she says it's okay, so dance with me!" She took him by the arm, and tugged towards the dance floor. Reluctantly, he followed her—looking back at Tsukushi for any excuse not to go. When Tsukushi showed no objections, he gave in. After all, he had promised his father that he would put in an appearance and that he would behave himself. And it's not like entertaining the daughters of potential business partners was anything new…the young women had always fallen over Doumyouji at functions like these, and he had always killed them with kindness (even though deep down, he had always detested their phoniness).
Immediately Tsukushi had begun to regret having let him go. She just didn't want the Doumyouji Corporation to lose a partner over a simple, meaningless dance. It's okay. She tried to reassure herself. It's just a dance. A harmless little dance. In two, three minutes time, he'll be back by my side. I can give him this.
What Tsukushi failed to realize was that he didn't want this! He was always so honest with his feelings for her, yet she had to have been the densest person alive when it came to realizing them. He had told her loved her and that he would not give up—he'd follow her to Hell if he had to! Yet when he saved her in the snow…she couldn't believe it. She was shocked that he didn't hate her for the whole thing that transpired between her and Rui at the beach. No matter how many times, or how many ways Tsukasa professed his love for her, she could never really get it through her head that he meant what he said and wanted to be at her side from now until the end of time.
Tsukushi sighed. Doumyouji was beautiful. Her eyes followed him around the floor, and all she could think about what how she longed for him. Only recently had she been able to admit this to herself. She had tried to tell him as well, earlier that evening—but failing to find the words, could only thank him for her beautiful dress. Atashi no baka. She let her eyes wander to the huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and as she gazed around the rest of the room, admiring the elaborate decorations, she once again fully remembered where she was. Such a high-class party as this was not somewhere she belonged. But he never, ever made her feel out of place. In fact, Tsukushi was beginning to believe that she could endure nearly anything, if only she could face it with Doumyouji.
As she heard the song come to a close, her eyes returned to the place where Tsukasa had just been. Only, now, he was nowhere to be found. Here eyes bugged out, as she frantically looked around the room. Doumyouji ga inai…panic stricken, she began walking around the room, hoping to find Doumyouji, while expecting to come across the SPs instead. Her blood ran cold as she suspected foul play. Doumyouji and she had learned long ago never to trust anything that his mother said or promised. They would not make that mistake again. However, Doumyouji had been confident that his dad would not toy with their emotions. Doumyouji had been confident that his father had only his best interests at heart when he suggested his and Makino's meeting this evening.
This isn't fair! Every time we get a break, EVERY TIME, something disastrous happens! She could only wonder where the SPs had taken him this time, or what it would take to get him back. Then she began to fear her own safety, as well, eyeing everyone suspiciously—for they were all possible SPs.Tsukushi continued making her way around the room, asking of Doumyouji's whereabouts. "Excuse me, ma'am, have you seen Doumyouji-san?…No? You haven't? All right, thank you…..Pardon me, sir? After that last dance, did you see where Doumyouji-san went?….You didn't….I see. No, that's quite alright. I'm sorry to have bothered you." She went on like this for a few minutes, finding no signs of Doumyouji or even Yuuko anywhere. Was that girl in on this, too?! Her mind reeled as she thought of endless possibilities of where Doumyouji may have been taken—and none of them were good. At this thought, she became light-headed and had to sit down. She looked in the direction of her table. It's so far away! And even if I were right next to it, I suppose that's the first place that the SPs would look…but I've got to find somewhere fast, or I'll faint! She then eyed a chair right next the stage, and taking a few shaky steps, finally made her way to it. Plopping down in the chair, she closed her eyes and tried to focus her thoughts so that she could plan her next move.
She took a deep breath and exhaled. I must keep looking for Doumyouji! She opened her eyes just in time to see a large hand coming swiftly at her face. Before she could so much as blink, the hand had closed over her mouth, rendering her unable to cry out for help. She waved her hand frantically as a means to gain attention from the attendees, but in a mere couple of seconds her entire body was pulled behind a large curtain. What an idiot I was! I didn't even notice the curtain behind the stage—the SPs—they were back there waiting for us the entire time!!! She berated herself over and over in her mind as the mysterious figure carried her through the backstage darkness. This is SO not good! If only there were some light back here, then I could see his face…
The figure stopped short, pushing open a door with his foot. Once inside, Makino heard the door click shut behind them. The whole ordeal had taken only a few seconds, but to Makino it already felt like lifetimes. As the hand lifted, she found her voice. "Who are you?!" she demanded into the darkness.
"Don't play games, Makino," the voice replied. "I'm trying to find a light switch…"
That voice…."DOU—DOU—DOUMYOUJI?!"
"Un. Who did you expect?" he asked, flipping on the light switch to reveal a band practice room—the walls carpeted to muffle sound.
Makino jumped to her feet, quicker than lightening, and upon reaching him, began to slug him for all she was worth. "You IDIOT! I thought you were an SP! I didn't know where the hell you were taking me!!!" She continued to pound his chest, her arms were rapidly becoming more weak. "And….and" her eyes were welling up with tears, and her voice was beginning to quaver, "what's worse yet is…I…I didn't know what they'd done to you!!!!" she continued sobbing. "I THOUGHT THEY'D TAKEN YOU AWAY AGAIN!"
Doumyouji's lips curled into a frown, as she collapsed on his chest in tears. He went to wrap his arms around her, as he began, "Makino, I didn't mean—"
"Don't touch me!" She yelled, backing up a few steps, her back against the wall. "Of all of the things to do…you had me scared to death!" She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand as she tried to stop the tears from flowing.
He edged towards her slowly, while trying to defend his actions. "Oi, Makino! Listen to me. I didn't mean to scare you!! I swear!!"
"Then WHY?! Why did you grab me like that?!"
"Because…I wanted to be alone with you."
Such a simple answer from such a simple man.
"This night was for you and me to be together. No worries." He sighed, closing his eyes. He couldn't bear to see her so shaken up and to know that he was cause. "We haven't been able to so much as get near each other without worrying about being caught for weeks. I wanted to be with you. Here. Tonight. Even though we had to come to this stupid party, I thought we could get through it together. Maybe even make it something memorable…." He paused for a long while. "When you told me to go dance with that girl…I was heartbroken. I didn't want to be with her, Makino. I didn't want YOU to want me to be with her…" his voice grew quiet. "All I wanted was for you to want me."
"It wasn't about me not wanting to be with you—I was thinking about the compan—"
Tsukasa's temper flared. "I don't CARE about the company!!! It can go fucking broke for all I care!!!" he took a second to calm himself. "Listen to me Makino. The ONLY thing I care about is you."
Makino's tears had just about stopped, and she watched him, sadly. She could see the pain he was in at having put her in such a predicament.
"I just thought that if we'd stayed at the party, that the whole evening would keep going in the exact same way as it started to. People would keep asking me to dance or speak with them, and you would keep telling me to go. Before we knew it, the party would be over and we would have to go our separate ways AGAIN. I didn't want that….And I didn't think that you'd willingly agree to duck out with me, or that we'd be able to do it together without everyone noticing. That's why I just grabbed you…. But I'm sorry. God, I'm so, SO sorry that I scared you. It never crossed my mind that you'd mistake me for an SP, though I can see now how you did. But I swear to you, Makino," he paused to look into her eyes, "that I never, ever meant to hurt you."
Makino thought back to being grabbed in the chair. The whole traumatic experience hadn't lasted more than a few seconds; to her it had just seemed like so much longer. But in retrospect, the hand on her mouth was warm and kind, the arm around her held her gently, and she was set gingerly on the floor, not dropped or thrown. None of those things were SPs-like at all. It was all redolent of Doumyouji. My fear of the SPs…my fear of being separated from Doumyouji…it all made me jump to the conclusion that something awful had happened.
"Doumyouji…" she whispered softly, the look in her eyes an invitation for him to come to her.
He seized her in his arms, one hand on her back, the other on the back of her head, holding her closely to him. "Makino…" he rested his head on hers and whispered softly into her hair "…oh, God, I was such an idiot. Please, please say you'll forgive me."
And then it came.
"Doumyouji no koto ga suki."
Doumyouji's head bolted up at the shock. Wha—wha'd she just say? Could I be hearing things?!
And then, as though she could read his thoughts…
"Doumyouji no koto ga daisuki."
Tsukasa's eyes grew wide at the realization that he was, in fact, NOT dreaming. And as the reality of the moment slowly sunk in, his teary-eyed angel looked up at him, smiling sweetly. It was a vision that he'd never forget.
He pushed her away to arms length. "Hontou da?"
She nodded, unspeaking, as she tried to hold back tears of joy…she had finally been able to confess.
Doumyouji grinned the biggest grin Tsukushi had ever seen. And in his excitement, he crushed her to him, as tightly as could be. "Oh Makino, Makino" he continued excitedly, "you've made me so very happy…of all the times…I just…I never expected…" he was too deliriously happy to form intelligible sentences. Finally he asked, "…May I kiss you?"
Tsukushi couldn't hold back a grin. Pulling back to face him, she couldn't help but ask "Since when have you been one to ask permission?"
"Since I had so much to lose…" he replied, slowly lowering his mouth over hers.
She willingly let him take her, and wrapped her arms around his back. As they continued kissing, suddenly just hugging him was not enough. As though her fingers were on auto pilot, she untucked Doumyouji's shirt and slipped her hands underneath, running her fingers over the taut muscles in his back that shifted with his every caress of her body.
Doumyouji's eyes flew open upon feeling her fingers dance on his flesh, surprised to say the least, but he didn't break the kiss. He was enjoying himself far too much. Tsukushi parted her lips slightly, her action doubling as an invitation. And as Tsukasa slipped his tongue between her moistened lips, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
As they continued kissing—deeply, passionately—their hands explored each other's forms. Doumyouji noticed that Tsukushi's breathing was becoming heavier, as was his own. As they leaned against the wall, the light switch was flicked off. Feeling the heat radiating from him, Tsukushi slipped her hands up under his jacket and slid it off his shoulders. He released her for just long enough for the jacket to fall to the ground. "Tsukushi…" he whispered, hoarsely, and began to trail kisses down the side of her neck and exposed collarbone. Shivers shot up her spine—whether they were from his kisses, or from the way he had called her name, she wasn't sure. He paused and looked at her thoughtfully, "Are you…are you okay with this?"
"Un," she replied. The doubts that had so often plagued me have completely vanished. Tsukasa smiled softly. And with slightly trembling fingers, he slid the spaghetti strap off one of her shoulders and began to deliver small, wet kisses where it had once been. As he continued, she began to unbutton his shirt, working her way upwards just as quickly as she could. When she'd finished, she stood on her tiptoes to kiss Doumyouji feverishly, forcefully. And as the passion became too great, they toppled to the ground together.
It was then, as they hit the cold, hard floor, that both of them came to the realization that this was not right for them. Not here, not now.
A long silence as they both stared at the ceiling, their breathing the only sound.
"Makino…" he said finally, exhaling. "I can't believe I'm saying this," he reached a hand up to scratch the back of his head, "…but I don't think we should do this tonight."
Tsukushi was shocked. Sure, she had had the very same thought, but she would never in a million years have expected Doumyouji to have it, as well. She turned on her side, to face him, propping up her head on her hand. Tsukasa continued, still staring at the ceiling. "It's not that I don't want you, you have to know that…I just don't want you like this. I don't want our first time to be on the cold floor of a band room. " He turned his head to face her, gazing deeply into her eyes. "I want to give you the world, Makino." He stroked her hair with his palm, and pushed a stray tendril back behind her ear. "I want our first time—no, that's not right, I want our every time—to be special."
"Doumyouji…." Tsukushi was at a loss for words. She was sure now that being with Tsukasa was right. But she also knew that here was not the proper place. Nor the proper time—there was still a very important party going on not very far away. She placed her hand upon his cheek, caressing it gently, and he closed his eyes, concentrating on her gentle touch. "You make me more sure of my love for you than ever before."
Tsukasa smiled, pulling her to him and kissing her once more—tenderly and full of intense emotion born from the very bottom of his soul. His kiss spoke volumes of his love for her, far more than mere words alone could ever convey.
Upon breaking the kiss, Tsukushi had to point out the obvious. "We should probably get back to the party…people will be wondering where you are…"
Tsukasa sighed, closing his eyes briefly. "Can just have five more minutes?" he pleaded with her. "Then we can go back…"
"Of course," she acquiesced. And with that, he took her into his arms, holding her tightly.
Tsukushi rested her head on his broad chest. She could hear his heart beating. Beating for her. I feel so safe…so warm…I could stay like this forever…
Doumyouji kissed the top of her head, and placed his upon her own. Tonight will definitely be a night to remember, Makino. I was beginning to believe that I may never hear those few words…but now that I have…it was every bit as sweet as I had imagined.
And until finally returning to the party, they stayed like that—clinging to one another in the darkness, silently. The both of them yearning for the day when their bodies would be able to make the same promise that their minds already had.
