Video Games Rot Your Brain
B.B. Hood hacked a little at the scent of smoke which assaulted her nose as she entered the bar. She got quite a few stares from those unfamiliar with her reputation, as they wondered what kind of a young girl such as she would be doing in such a raunchy place. It was rather unpleasant-- the scent of alcohol and sweaty, foul-mouthed men hung on the air like a summer smog.
Hood had the semblance of a young girl all right, as she sported a red hood, a yellow wicker basket and a frilly dress, but underneath she was pure steel. A bounty hunter for several years, there was almost no doubt that she was the best in the business. Some wondered how she stayed so fit even though she had a nasty smoking habit, however.
Hood pulled a cigar from her pocket and scanned the tables of poker players for a light. It would be a while before she found who she was looking for, and she might as well make herself comfortable.
Hey Hood! A large, red masked man waved her over to a table. We need another player! Come over here!
Gotta light? she raised an eyebrow, almost chortling at the size of the man compared to those who sat around him.
he smiled, and she followed suit and took a seat.
The cards were dealt, and Hood puffed agitatedly on her cigar. She'd already folded after seeing the competition, and was becoming quickly bored as she eyed the intensity of the player next to her as the game progressed.
Jin Satome wasn't always the most pleasant person to be around. He probably cursed more than every sailor in the navy combined, and he took everything seriously. But of course, he had a reason to be serious, he'd gambled his huge robot on this hand, thinking it was a sure win.
Cable grinned as he scanned the table, but the grin soon fell as his arm seemed to burst through his clothing. He tried to put the cards in his other hand quickly, but the cards were sprawled out in the middle of the table in no time as the mutation, where his hand elongated and took the veneer of a rather grotesque and monstrous claw, took place.
Awww fuck! he shouted, swiping his cards off the table angrily as his arm returned to normal. Guess I have to fold! Damn mother fu--
B.B. Hood rolled her eyes and ignored the string of profanity aimed at Cable's arm from that point on, and she noticed that Jin began to sweat a little more as he saw the cards that Cable had dropped.
Juggernaut eyed the other players, what do y'all have?
Everyone lay down their cards at the same time, and it was clear that Anakaris had won.
You cheating son of a bitch! Jin shouted, a blood vessel in his temple throbbing visibly, you've won every time you cock sucking--
Cable announced, I've been watching the deck! There's no way you could have that kind of luck!
Hood shook her head as Anakaris tried to defend his position. But anyone could have told that group that Anakaris always cheated. That's why she folded right away when the bets were small. She knew she had nothing to lose, but Jin was awfully sure of his flush.
Juggernaut had become angry as well, and Hood left just as he pinned Anarakis down while Jin and Cable punched the crap out of him.
Fuck this shit, Cable growled, then busted out his viper beam. Outta my way!
Jin screamed and jumped out of the way as Cable viper beamed Anarakis through the stomach until he was nothing more than a bloodstain on the ground. The bartender began to shout as pieces of that stupid sarcophagus and Anarakis' flesh and bandages splattered all over the ground in a pile of goo. No one else in the bar seemed to mind. In fact, they were pretty much overjoyed to get rid of the cheating jackass.
Hood walked over to the bar and sat on a stool after spotting just the person she was looking for. She shook her cigar, letting the ashes fall onto the counter before spinning around to get his attention.
she stated casually, and Megaman spun around on his stool to face her. What's this job you want me to do?
Megaman wrung his hands nervously, and leaned in toward Hood's ear so that he could speak softly to her.
he gritted his teeth, we need you to get rid of Son son.
Hood looked at Megaman with a puzzled look on her face.
I thought you two were--you know, she bit her lower lip.
Shut up! Megaman's eyes widened. I was drunk! Don't ever mention that again!
Hood chortled to herself. Point taken. But why do you need me to get rid of her?
Megaman sighed, a lot of us are just sick of the way she says duhhhh' all the time. But you see, she's somehow resurected--Abyss.
Aww shit, Hood grumbled. Why in God's name would she do that?
Because she's working with him now, Megaman offered. She wanted power. They want to take over. And between her and Abyss--it'll be tough to get rid of them.
How much is in it for me? Hood raised an eyebrow, and how do you excpect me to do this alone?
Megaman smiled, realizing that Hood would indeed accept if he played his cards right. Don't worry, you'll be paid enough so that you'll never have to hunt another bounty again. And you won't be alone. We have help for you. Megaman then turned around to his associates, waving them over to the bar.
Hood blinked as a guy who looked like a giant cactus put down his glass of Sex on the Beach and meandered over to the counter. Behind him, following closely, was an incredibly small entity that reminded her of a lego man.
Hood turned to Megaman, her eyes wide. You excpect me to kill Abyss and Son Son with Amingo and Servbot? Are you fucking crazy?
Don't underestimate them, Megaman advised. They have their own agendas.
Amingo turned to Servbot, his eyes narrowed. Pinche puta, no piensa que podemos hacer el trabajo. Chinga este, voy a salir y beber más--
Servbot squeaked, I have no idea what you just said.
I said, Amingo took a deep breath, pinche puta, she don't think we can do the job. Chinga this, I'm gonna leave and drink más.
Sevbot's eyes began to spin.
Hood turned to Megaman and grabbed his collar. He just called me a fucking whore! You excpect me to work with that?
Megaman chuckled. You did insult his fat green ass. Look--the money will be worth it. I'm sure you guys will find your way.
Hood mumbled, then turned to her newly-announced partners. Look, I guess we'd better start looking for these whack jobs. But I'm the professional here, so keep out of my way!
Amingo rolled his eyes. ¡Mucho caliente, tengo miedo!
she growled, shut-up with the Spanish, too!
Amingo shrugged and turned around to down the rest of his drink.
Hood put a hand to her forhead and sighed. The money might be worth it, but she didn't know if her death would be.
The trio absconded from the bar and into the cold, night air. Hood ran her palms up her arms as the chill crept beneath her skin, and Amingo and Servbot looked up to her to see what their next move would be.
she laughed, you think we're starting tonight? Like hell! We're going to a hotel, getting some rest, then start tomorrow!
Amingo smiled, here I thought you were a puta. Sounds magnifico a mi.
And I can make dinner! Servbot beamed.
Hood and Amingo eyed the tiny lego-creature strangely.
Servbot shrugged. I'm a chef!
Hood held out a hand to the little guy, as long as you guys don't excpect me to cook because I'm the one with a va--
But her rather crude statement was cut off as the sound of a car windshield shattering dialated throughout the parking lot, drowning out anything said.
Hood and her companions dashed to the source of the noise, her little dog barking the whole way.
Hood shouted as Colosus shoved Jin onto the hood of his car, grabbing him by the neck. Jin growled angrily at his attacker, grabbing Colosus' hands and trying to pull them away from his thorat.
Colosus turned to Hood, not taking his hands off of his prey. he explained, this little bitch's robot scratched my brand new car! And when I told him to pay for it, he told me to suck his cock and that the scratch was already there!
Aww let him go, Hood snarled. Your car is about as new as Mesuthelah you fucking liar. He probably just scratched some of the dirt off so you can see the paint again.
Colosus' jaw dropped. Why, I oughtta kick your ass for that!
Amingo interrupted, you try and kick the lady's culo, and you have to get through me, bendejo!
Colosus threw Jin haphazardly into the robot and sauntered over to Amingo. Gladly, ya fat ass green bastard!
Don't be starting with the name calling, joto, Amingo held up his fists, if you want una pieza de mi, you gotta come and get it, puto!
Colosus smirked, then charged up and rammed Amingo into his car. Amingo's spikes scratched his car up as if it had been keyed, which made Colosus even madder.
Amingo shook his head dizzily as Colosus prepared to charge him again, but the blue hulk suddenly fell to the ground for no reason.
Hood launched Colosus into the air with a swift punch, then began to kick and punch him, shoving him into the air with every hit. She finished off the air combo by flamebroiling him with fire which errupted from her champagne bottle.
Colosus tried to charge her after recovering from the fall, but she merely grabbed a machine gun from the basket she carried and pumped her adversary full of lead.
I hate women, Colosus grumbled as he fell to the ground in a hole-filled, blood-stained heap.
Jin stumbled up from where he was thrown and walked up to B.B. Hood.
he smiled awkwardly, a strange glint glazing his eyes. You were fucking terrific!
Hood looked to the ground, her mouth twitching in confusion.
I think I'm in love, Jin thought, as he continued to vapidly stare at the young girl.
she looked to Amingo and Servbot for help, we gotta be going now, good luck with your, err, robot--there. Bye.
Jin held his hands up. Where are you three going?
Hood announced.
Servbot smiled and looked up at her, completley oblivious to what Hood wanted accomplished.
No, silly, Servbot grinned, we're going to a hotel before we try and hunt down those people tomorrow!
Hood's lip twitched again as she balled up her fists and put them to her sides, trying to keep from murdering the little yellow piece of shit.
Pieza de merda! Amingo spat, growling at the robot.
Do you think you're Ricky Ricardo or something? Servbot shook his head in confusion.
Amingo's blood began to boil, and he was about to whack Servbot into oblivion when Jin broke the silence with a proposition.
I could help! he offered eagerly, who do you want to knock off? Who? Who? I can help you! Really! I can kick some ass if I fucking need to--
Hood closed her eyes tightly, but they snapped open as she grinned, having thought of a perfect plan to get him off of their tail.
All right, she grinned, much to the shock of Amingo and the ambivalence of Servbot, but, you can't swear so much if you come with us.
Jin's face paled, and he swallowed hard as he looked down at the girl he wished to accompany. his eyes darted around, as he didn't know if he could manage such a feat, I, I guess I could try?
Hood whispered, then quickly covered her mouth. Jin blinked oddly as she just stood there, covering her mouth for a good deal of time.
Got any money? she sighed, giving up.
Jin shrugged.
Hood closed her eyes. You can pay for the hotel room.
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Author's note: Please, make me continue this, it's been sitting for too long!
