December 19th My Room

Mrs. Callahan our guidance counselor says that it is physiologically impossible to die of a broken heart, but I know that isn't true because I am experiencing heart failure right now. And its all Michael Moscovitzes fault. Tonight was supposed to be one of the best nights of my life but it ended up turning into a disaster.

Everything was going smoothly at first. Michael picked me up at 7 like he said and took me to the abandoned garage that his band flypaper always practiced at. When we got there all of his band mates and their girlfriends were sitting around waiting for us. Everyone was really nice which shocked me seeing as there all seniors and I'm just a lowly freshman. But that really isn't the point. The bands girlfriends and I sat around for about an hour jamming to the guy's music and I was actually having a good time. For once I felt like I fit in.

So after about another 15 minutes of playing everyone decided they needed a break. Michael came over to me and said he needed some fresh air he grabbed my hand and led me outside into the cool night breeze. This is where things start to get complicated.

"Mia I'm really glad you decided to come with me tonight.I honestly thought that you would turn me down"

Michael actually thinking that I would turn him down?? He must have had to many M&M's or something. "Really.you're joking right.you know that I like to hang out with you"

He looked towards the sky and smiled. "Yeah I don't know why that thought even crossed my mind.I guess I just thought that you would rather have done Lilly's little "talk show"

I laughed. "Lilly's my best friend but sometimes I need a break. My minds not really focused on green peace right now"

"Yeah My sister has a habit of ALWAYS wanting to try and call attention to one cause or another.. Sometimes you just need to have downtime.but I don't think she even knows the meaning of the word"

After that we just stood there in silence for a few minutes staring at the sky. Then a idea crossed my mind. "Tag your it," I yelled as I tapped Michael on the shoulder and took off running. It was the game Lilly and I were playing when Michael and I first met and ever since then we had had a ritual of playing sometimes and then just felt right.

I ran around the back lot laughing my head off as Michael tried his best to catch up with me. After a minute or so I felt strong arms grab me around the waist and spin me around. Michael was so close that I could feel his breath tickle my cheek and I could smell the sweet smell of soap and cologne that I so often associated with him. I stared into his eyes and there was something there that took me by surprise and that's when I knew he was going to kiss me.

My eyes fluttered shut as I waited in anticipation. He leaned in and gently brushed his lips across mine. It was sweet and innocent but I swear the earth just stopped spinning. But then he had to go and ruin it.

He jerked back quickly like my touch had burned him and suddenly started spouting off apologies.

"Mia I'm really really really sorry I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to do it. Please forgive me?"

And that's when I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes. I silently was praying that he had felt the same way I had when our lips had connected but due to his little speech I knew that it really was an accident. I refused to cry and I refused to let him know how much he had hurt me. "Yeah..It's forgotten..But id really like to go home now," I quietly muttered as I started to walk towards his car. Even Though I knew I could never EVER forget the way that kiss had made me feel.

He drove me home after that and we didn't even utter as much as two words to each other. And that brings me to now sitting here on my bed with a gallon of Ben and jerry's a box of tissues and fat Louie.

And now I'm praying that I suddenly get sick so I wont have to go to that stupid winter dance and see HIM. I don't think I ever want to see him again. But I know I'm going to have to go to the dance because Grandmere would never forgive me if her dress didn't get used for its intended purpose.

I think I'm going to go into the bathroom wet my hair and hang my head out of the window so ill catch the flu.



~*~Authors note: Do you guys think I should finish this? I honestly don't think its that great. So tell me if yall like it and if you do I'll continue to update it but if you guys hate it I'll stop