Please Note:

Set as the second part of the wedding episode. Recap of reported episode 16 spoilers: Xander runs out on the wedding after a demon tricks him into believing that his marriage to Anya will turn out badly. Spike is at the wedding with another girl (who may be named Tarantula) who he briefly makes out with in front of Buffy. I get the impression that he and Buffy have broken up in the previous episode. Tara is at the wedding. Buffy and Willow are bridesmaids. Xander's family get into a huge fight with the demons that Anya invited (Xander told his family they are "circus folk"). I have referred to the woman Riley is married to as Sharon for the purpose of this story as she has not yet been named.

Everything else in this script (including the "previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer") are my invention and should not be considered spoilers.

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Fade up from black.

Voice over: "Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer".

Fade up to shot of Buffy and Spike arguing in her bedroom.

Buffy (painfully crying): "Don't you get it? I can't give you what you want. Even if I could this isn't how it's supposed to be. Riley and Sharon, that's a real relationship. (Bitterly) You and I are just kidding ourselves. You're a vampire and I'm a slayer. How did you think this could ever work?"

Spike: "You're talking bollocks. You're just so sure this is wrong you won't even consider that it might be right. I'm through torturing myself. (pause then resolutely) I'm out of here."

(Spike storms out slamming the door)

Buffy is left standing alone in the middle of the room. She looks very small and vulnerable.

Cut to Spike and Xander sitting in a bar having drinks. They are both very drunk.

Spike (very serious and spoken with hidden significance): "So tomorrow's the big day. I guess *you've* finally come to the conclusion that us demony types aren't completely irredeemable."

Xander (defensively): "Hey, bleach boy. Anya is not a demon. (pauses, then thinks about it) At least, not anymore".

Spike: " Wonder who the kids'll take after? (chuckling) I guess we'll have to look for little tiny horns and hooves when the happy day arrives."

Cut to the wedding hall. Xander is talking to a weird old guy who shows him a glowing orb.

Weird Old Guy (WOG): "I'm you from the future. I came here to warn you that things don't *exactly* turn out as you planned. But you can still change things by not marrying Anya."

Shot of Xander looking into the orb and it glows brighter.

Dissolve to shot of Xander and Anya's kids chasing each other around the Harris household/Anya arguing with Xander about money and how he's just a bum on disability/the daughter (who is obviously part demon) yelling at Xander "I know you're not my real father".

Dissolve back to shot of Anya happily putting on her headpiece, blissfully ignorant. She turns and looks out the window.

Anya (confused and scared): "Where's Xander going?"

Fade to black.

Fadeup from black.

Slow, sad music plays underneath. Spike is standing in the trashed wedding hall looking over at Buffy from across the room as she talks to the minister. We can see a pained look on Spike's face. He is obviously still desperately in love with her but is torn as to what he should do. He helps a Charaga demon pick up some of the chairs that got smashed in the fight between the Harris clan and the demons when they found out that Xander had taken off. Unknown to Spike, Buffy looks across at him. She starts as though to come over but his date walks over to him and touches him on the arm, smiling up at him. Buffy stops, turns and goes into a nearby room.

Dissolve to shot of Anya who is sitting on a chair, her face buried in her hands crying. Tara is beside her with her hand on Anya's back and a very concerned look on her face.

Anya (very shaken): "Tara, I don't understand how he could do this. What do I do now?"

Dissolve to shot of Xander sitting on the edge of the bed in his hotel room. He is contemplating the wedding ring he was supposed to have placed on Anya's hand less than an hour ago. He looks up.

Music finishes, poignant and painful.

Quick cut to a closeup of the vengeance demon Halfrek's face contorted in rage.

Halfrek: "You'll pay for this Harris".

Camera pulls out to reveal Halfrek standing in the wedding hall and that Xander's Uncle Rory who is obviously drunk has spilled red wine down the front of her dress.

Halfrek: "You'll pay to get this dry-cleaned."

He's trying to dry her off with a cocktail napkin. Rory is about forty-five with greasy slicked back hair starting to go bald and a sizeable beer belly. He is wearing a shiny silver lounge style jacket with black pants, a white dress shirt and a black string bolero tie.

Rory Harris: "Hey, I said I was sorry."

Halfrek: "Where did you get that from anyway? There isn't even a bar here."

Rory Harris (patting his jacket pocket): "I always come prepared.". (He pauses in mid-wipe) Hic. You know, you're kind of cute. What exactly do you do in the circus?"

Halfrek storms off running into Xander's parents and overhears them talking.

Xander's father: "Well I guess the boy had more spunk in him than I ever gave him credit for. Wish I'd had the nerve to do that 25 years ago."

Xander's mother: "Yeah, me too."

Halfrek: "This whole family needs to be taught a lesson".

Halfrek storms off.

D'Hoffryn walks into the shot where Halfrek had just been standing.

D'Hoffryn (ominously): "That can be arranged".

Fade to black.

Roll intro.

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Fade up from black.

Anya is sitting on a chair at the back of the room and quietly crying while ripping up tissues. Halfrek, Tara and another older demon woman are trying to comfort her. Anya is trying to reason out why Xander would leave her at the altar.

Anya (through tears): "I'm too needy, that's what it is. Men don't like needy women. Or maybe he changed his mind and doesn't want to marry me after all and he couldn't bring himself to tell me"

Halfrek (bluntly): "Men are evil disgusting dogs. You should know that Anyanka, after everything you've seen".

Anya (starts crying again): "But I thought Xander was different."

Willow and Buffy are off to the side speaking in hushed tones wearing matching monstrous pastel dresses with hoop skirts.

Buffy: "What do we do Will? Should we go after him?"

Willow (sounding unsure) : "I…I don't know. I'm sure he just got cold feet and he'll be right back."

Buffy: "It's been an hour since he left. I don't think he's coming back. The guests have already started to leave. I'm going to go see if I can find him."

Buffy opens the door to walk out of the room and walks straight into Spike. There is obvious tension and unease on both parts. She looks down and gulps hard then turns up to face him defiantly.

Buffy: "What are you doing here?"

Spike: "Now pet, don't be like that, (pause) just because I won't be your (smirk) whipping boy anymore. (pause, then seriously) I'm here to help. I'm an invited guest and I'd like to see someone get married here today."

Buffy catches her breath and looks down uncomfortably.

Spike: "I think I know what might have happened. I saw Xander talking to some old bloke just before he took off. They were pretty deep in conversation and then the old guy showed him some sort of glowing orb. I first thought it was a wedding present but then Xander took off so maybe he cast a spell on Xander, some sort of mind control."

Willow (leaps forward in excitement): "That's got to be it. I knew Xander couldn't run out like this. But who would do such a thing and how do we find them? "

Dawn wanders in very casually. She's not the least put out by the events that have transpired.

Dawn: "Hey Spike, there's some weird old guy out there hitting on your date. Must be one of Xander's uncles. He's showing her this freaky glowy ball thing."

Cut to main room of the hall.

Buffy and Willow storm in with Spike behind them. They look around frantically only to see the strange old man has one arm up on the wall and is leaning in to talk to Spike's date. She is smiling back at him.

Weird Old Guy: "What's your name precious?

Tarantula: "It's Tarantula."

Weird Old Guy: "That's a pretty name. Well Tarantula, this isn't any ordinary bauble."

He rolls it all around and over his hand almost like it is magnetically drawn to him then holds it out to her.

Weird Old Guy: "This orb shows the future. (smirks) Wanna see what you and I get up to later on tonight."

Tarantula (eyes widening as she stares into the orb): "Oh my gosh, you must really work out."

The Weird Old Guy suddenly is pulled back to find himself facing one very brassed off slayer and friends.

Buffy: "I don't know who you are or what you said to Xander but you've got some serious explaining to do."

Weird Old Guy (very seriously): "Oh, of course, anything I can do to help. Well hey look, there's Xander over there."

Everyone turns to look. The Weird Old Guy catches Buffy off guard and pushes her on top of Willow. They both fall down and get tangled up in their hoop skirts. Spike runs after the WOG grabbing him by the arm. Xander's Aunt Suzy is standing nearby. The WOG grabs her handbag and starts beating Spike on the head with it.

Spike (in obvious pain): "What the bloody hell do you have in there woman? A load of bricks. I know this is going to give me one hell of a headache but here goes."

Spike grabs a broken chair and brings it down on the WOG's head. The WOG crumbles to the floor.

Spike braces himself for the pain.

Spike (incredulously): "Hey, that didn't hurt. (pause then realization) Hey, this guy's a demon."

Spike picks up the oversized purse to take it away from the WOG. He has his game face on.

Spike: "Well kiddies, looks like once again old Spikey comes out on top".

There is a sudden commotion coming from the right of Spike.

Aunt Suzy (yells): "Get him boys, he's got my purse."

Spike: "Bloody hell."

All the Harris cousins and uncles pile on top of Spike while the WOG dissolves into a liquid form and slithers out the door.

Willow and Buffy pick themselves up off the floor. Buffy runs out the door but the WOG is nowhere in sight. Willow looks down on the floor and sees the glowing orb and with a quizzical look on her face picks it up.

Cut to Anya's dressing room.

Tara and Anya are alone in the room now. Tara is trying to calm Anya down.

Tara: "Anya, I know Xander loves you. He's just confused right now."

Anya (suddenly angry and indignant): "He's confused? What does he think I am? I'm stuck being a human and I hate all these horrible human emotions and feelings and now I don't even have him to make it better. I wish I couldn't feel all of this anymore. I wish I'd never become human again."

Tara (concerned): "Anya. Don't say that. There's way too many vengeance demons within earshot for that to be good."

Anya: "I don't care who hears me. I hate being human. Tara, I know you mean well but please just leave me alone right now."

Tara resignedly gets up and leaves the room. Anya falls down on the table with her head in her arms crying.

The door opens and Anya lifts her head slightly.

Anya: "Go away. You can't help me. None of you can."

D'Hoffryn: "I think I can Anyanka."

Anya looks up fully.

Fade to black.

Roll commercial break.

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Fade up from black.

Anya (wiping the tears from her eyes): It's good to see you D'Hoffryn. Oh and thank you for the lovely crystal candleholders. Not that I'll ever get to use them. I'll have to return all these wonderful gifts people gave us, even those awful things Xander's family picked out."

D'Hoffryn sits down on the chair next to Anya.

D'Hoffryn: "I can see that you are in great pain. Your pain is your source of strength Anyanka. Even before you became a demon you felt things so strongly. That's what made you such a great vengeance demon. You know, things haven't been the same since you left. Noone brings the same energy and enthusiasm to the job that you did."

Anya (perking up at the compliment): "Well, you always did say I had a knack for it."

D'Hoffryn: "I want to make you an offer Anyanka. Why don't you come back with Halfrek and me? Become a vengeance demon again."

Anya: "But when I asked you for it before you turned me down."

D'Hoffryn: "That's because you had nothing to offer at the time. No real pain to fuel your vengeance. That's all changed now. Just take your revenge on Harris and this mortal nightmare will all be over for you."

Anya (shocked): "Hurt Xander? I don't know D'Hoffryn. I don't think I can do that."

D'Hoffryn: "Without him, what is left for you here? He obviously doesn't want or appreciate you. What kind of a *life* can you have? Will you at least think about it?"

Anya: "Alright, I'll think about it."

Cut to the main hall.

Spike has just removed himself from the Harris family pileon and is dusting himself off.

Spike: "It's a darn good thing I don't need to breathe or there'd have been some serious problems there."

Willow: "What do we do now? How do we find this guy?"

Buffy: "I don't know."

From the corner of the room a voice pipes up.

Tarantula: "I might be able to help. He gave me his beeper number in case I wanted to meet him for a drink later."

Cut to Buffy, Spike, Willow and Tarantula walking down the street.

Buffy: "What is this world coming to when demons have beepers?"

Spike: "I don't know. Might be kind of handy. Maybe I'll get one meself."

Tarantula: "Oooh, get one of those vibrating ones and I'll beep you, that's for sure."

Spike looks uncomfortably at Buffy who is just staring at the ground.

Spike (to Tarantula): "Listen luv, before this goes any further I need to be straight with you. I don't think this is going to work out between you and me. I kind of have some (turns to look at Buffy and sighs) unresolved issues to deal with."

Tarantula (breezily): "That's ok. I only met you this afternoon when we split a cab on the way to the wedding anyway."

Spike (taken aback at how lightly she has gotten over him): "Right then. Um, let's get on with it then, shall we?"

They enter a seedy little bar with a mixed clientele of the demon variety. Sitting at the very back in a booth is the WOG. Tarantula walks straight towards him while the others sneak around the side so as not to scare him off again.

Tarantula (sliding into the booth, opposite him): "Hey baby. Good to see you again."

WOG (lasciviously): "Good to see you too. I didn't expect to hear from you so soon. I guess you liked what you saw."

Tarantula: "Oh, uh, yeah, sure."

Buffy sneaks up behind the WOG and aims Mr. Pointy at his chest. He looks down and laughs.

WOG: "Foolish girl. Do you think I'm a vampire that you can turn me into dust with a little thing like that."

Buffy: "I'm not exactly sure what you are but I'm willing to bet I can do at least a little damage. So spill. What did you do to Xander?"

The WOG turns to liquid and reappears over on the other side of the booth beside Tarantula with his arm around her.

Tarantula: "Wow, cool trick."

WOG: "You haven't seen the half of it baby. (To Buffy) You can't hurt me and you can't catch me. Why should I cooperate with you."

Willow (pulls the orb out of her satchel): "Maybe because I've got your nice shiny glowy ball here."

The WOG looks uncomfortable all of a sudden.

WOG: "Ok, I had an old score to settle with Anyanka. I thought if I messed up her wedding it would even things out. I just showed the boy what a life with her would be like. He's not under any spell or anything. You can find him over at the Sunnydale Motel. Now give me my orb back."

Willow tosses it in the air and he catches it as they exit.

Cut to the Sunnydale Motel.

Xander is sitting on the bed still staring at the ring. He hasn't move in over two hours. The door opens and Buffy, Willow and Spike enter.

Willow: "Hey, you're here."

Xander (looking up): "How did you guys find me?"

Buffy: "It's a long story. The demon with the orb you were talking to at the wedding told us all about it.

Xander: "He was a demon? I can't even trust myself to tell myself the truth these days."

Willow: "How are you doing?"

Xander: "I honestly don't know. (He pauses reflectively) How's Anya?"

Willow: "Upset. Xander, why did you run off like that?"

Xander: "I'm scared Will. I'm afraid things won't work out with me and Anya. Sure everything is great now but what if it doesn't stay that way? What if love isn't enough?"

Spike: "Listen you. (Raises his eyebrows for emphasis) All of you. Love isn't perfect. It never will be. If you're looking for perfect then that's not love, that's something else. I don't know what. Relationships are hard. You have to work at them, not just at the beginning but every day until you die and they just keep getting harder the further you go along getting bogged down with life and everything. (Softening his tone) But all that aside, if you try really hard and you're really lucky you just might be happy and it will be worth everything you've had to go through. There are worse things in life than relationships that go wrong and one of them is never giving the relationship a chance in the first place."

Xander: "Wow, words of wisdom from the mouth of Spike."

Buffy (looking straight into Spike's eyes as she speaks): "He's right. We expect so much from love that we're terrified of it. Terrified to risk everything on the chance that it might not work. (Buffy turns to Xander) If you really love Anya and want to try to make this work, it *will*. You just have to believe in it."

Willow: "Xander, what this comes down to is do you still want to marry Anya?"

Xander looks back down at the ring in his hands.

Fade to black.

Roll commercial break.

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Fade up from black.

Halfrek: "You know if you were back in your vengeance demon days you could so take care of this loser. Do you remember that guy back in the 1700's you made lose all his hair because his girlfriend caught him giving a lock of it to another girl. That was so funny."

Anya: "But the best part was the incendiary flatulence. (She sighs) Oh, Halfrek, it's fun to reminisce about the good old days but that's not me anymore. I've gotten used to being human and I actually like it. Yes, it comes with all these disgusting human habits like excrement and body hair and cellulite but the good outweighs the bad. I don't know why Xander left like that but I'm going to find him and try and work it out. Maybe he's not ready yet to get married. If not, I'll just have to be patient. But I'm not going to sit around here moping. I'm going to find my man."

Anya gets up and walks over to the door. She opens it and Xander is standing there about to knock.

Anya: "Well, that was easier than I thought it would be."

Xander (grabs her and hugs her): "Oh Anya, I am so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.

Anya (pulling away from him): "I do. You were scared and you flipped out. But I'm scared too. I used to be a demon and now I'm just a pitiful human. You can't imagine how frustrating it is for me to not be able to just make things be how I want them to be. I have to work at everything, my looks, my job, our relationship. I'm just a weak powerless woman but I get through it all because I love you."

Xander: "An honey, you terrify more as a weak powerless woman than you ever did as a demon. You say you don't have any power but you control me completely. I can't bear the thought of you not being in my life."

Anya: "Oh Xander."

Xander and Anya kiss.

Dawn: "So, what happened to you?"

Xander: "This demon guy with a glowy orb came and told me things wouldn't work out if we got married and I guess I panicked and ran."

Anya: "Glowy orb? At any point did he turn into a liquid?

Buffy (steps forward): "Yeah, how did you know?"

(Anya turns and looks at Halfrek)

Anya and Halfrek (in unison): GULNAR!!!

Xander (with a confused look on his face): "Huh?"

Anya (in an everything makes sense now tone): "Gulnar is this demon who used to have a thing for me. He's the one who told me Olaf was cheating on me and caused me to become a vengeance demon in the first place. He figured that once I became a demon I'd finally be interested in him. Boy was he wrong. So he was spinning your head with wild stories. No wonder you balked."

Xander: "The thing is though that he didn't tell me anything I wasn't already thinking. We come from such different backgrounds you and I and the future he showed me was terrible but realistic. I don't want us to end up like that.

Anya: "So what are you saying Xander?"

Xander: " He told me that I could change the future by us not getting married. I think he was right about one thing. I *can* change the future. But I don't want us not getting married today to be a part of the equation."

Fade to black.

Roll commercial.

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Fade up from black.

Spike is having a cigarette outside and Buffy comes over to join him.

Buffy: "Can we talk? You know Anya was so scared when Xander bolted that she was worried that he left because she needs him so much."

Spike: "It's ok to need people. That's what makes you human."

Buffy: "But I've always thought that because I'm the Slayer I had to stand alone. I loved Angel so much and I hated the fact that I needed him and he couldn't stay with me. With Riley I wouldn't let myself need him. He was willing to stay here in Sunnydale with me if I would just let him in and I couldn't give that up to him. Needing someone is a powerful force and it scares me. I'm scared now Spike, because I need *you*. I wish I didn't but I do. You could really hurt me and I don't mean physically."

Spike reaches over and takes her hand.

Spike: "I could never hurt you. You know that now and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

Spike draws Buffy close to him and kisses her tenderly. Willow's head pops out the door.

Willow: "Whoops. Sorry to interrupt but they're starting. Buffy, you've got to get inside."

Buffy: "Spike, we'll continue this later."

Spike (smirking): "I'm counting on it, Slayer."

Cut to the interior of the hall.

Xander is standing at the back. All the guests have gone now except a half dozen of the demons and Xander's parents. A familiar face comes over to Xander and gives him a big hug.

Xander: "Cordelia, you made it."

Cordelia: "We got stuck in traffic so I figured we would have missed the ceremony completely but you're just starting. Is everything ok Xander?"

Xander: "Everything is better than ok. It's exactly the way it's supposed to be."

Cordelia (looks confused): "I'd better take my seat they're starting the music."

As Buffy walks down the aisle she looks over at Spike sitting there with Dawn and smiles. The sound of a baby crying distracts her and she turns around to look and sees Cordelia slipping out the back to try and quiet Connor.

Cut to the Minister.

Minister: " And do you Alexander take Anya to be your wife? To have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health 'til death do you part?"

Xander: "I do."

Minister: "And Anya do you...."

Anya: "I do."

Minister: "I have to finish what I'm saying before you can answer."

Anya: "Oh, ok."

Minister: "Anya, do you take Xander to be your husband? To have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health 'til death do you part? (There is a pause) I'm finished. You can answer now."

Anya: "I do."

Minister: "Then by the powers vested in me by the state of California I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Xander and Anya kiss and everyone cheers.

After the ceremony everyone congregates, laughing and hugging. Buffy looks around for Willow but sees her talking with Tara intently, holding hands and giggling. She smiles and not looking where she's going she bumps into Cordelia who is still holding Connor.

Buffy: "Cordy, good to see you. Glad you could make it down from L.A. This isn't your baby is it? I know I've been dead and all but surely someone would have said something about *you* having a baby."

Cordelia: "No Buffy, I wish he was, but Connor's not mine, he's...."

Angel approaches them.
Angel (uncomfortably): "Um, Hi Buffy. How are you doing?"

Buffy: "Much better than when I saw you last. How about you?"

Angel (Turning to look at Cordelia and Connor): "Better than I've been in a long time."

Spike enters the room.

Cordelia: "Buffy, look out. Spike is here."

Buffy (smiles a little uncomfortable but contentedly): "Uh, yeah. I know."

Spike sees Buffy talking to Angel and Cordelia and walks over to join the conversation.

Spike: "Hello Cordelia. Hello Peaches. How's tricks? Who's the little bundle of joy?"

Angel: "This is my son, Connor."

Buffy: "Huh?!? But I thought vamps couldn't..... you know...make little vamps."

Angel: "Well, I guess that isn't true after all."

Buffy: "Omigod, omigod, omigod. (Turning to Spike, grabbing his arm) Omigod."

Spike: "Great, I've got to start wearing those little rubber johnnies, bloody hell. How do you feel about going on the pill, Slayer?"

Angel (incredulously): "What? The two of you? Buffy are you nuts? This is Spike."

Buffy: "I know, but I've gone through a lot of changes this past year. I can't really explain it (Buffy turns to Spike and takes his hand) but it works. I don't expect you to understand."

Angel: "Well actually, I guess I should tell you that Cordelia is more than just an employee to me now, she's......"

Buffy (looking up confused): "Floating."

Fade to black. Roll credits.

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