Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Uh...yeah...I mean, no....whatever

A/N: I kind of rushed to get this chapter done because I'm going to be out of town for the rest of the week (it has to do with my job...you wouldn't even believe me if I told you what I'll be busy doing). Anyway, I didn't want to leave you all off without an update until I get back. Normally, I sit down and write a chapter in maybe two hours...but I was kind of frantic to get this one done, hope it doesn't reflect that...

Meaningless announcement: AH!! My parrot is trying to eat this little fly that's hanging out in her cage! She keeps biting at it....it's soooo hilarious!!

Chapter 11: Dizzy

Quistis hung up the phone and collapsed back onto the bed beside Seifer. His right arm was bent, covering his eyes. Lightly heaving in and out, his breathing was even, and she watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest with mild interest.

"So?" he asked, not even bothering to remove his arm and look at her.

"She's got a plan," Quistis replied.

"A plan? Selphie's plan? Did you ask her what it was?" he snorted, this time dropping his arm so he could look at her. "Knowing her, she's planning on blowing the place to smithereens and escaping through a laundry shoot at the last minute, or some half-assed thing like that."

"Actually, it's Paxx's plan," she retorted, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Oh, Paxx...well that's all the better, isn't it?" he waved a hand through the air.

"Well, what'd you want me to do?" she shook her head. "I can't just tell them what to do."

"Sure you can," Seifer grinned. "You tell me what to do all the time and it doesn't seem to bother you."

"That's not what I meant." Quistis couldn't help but crack a smile. "I don't know all the details of their situation...only they can come up with the best solution."

"But you're their leader," he propped himself up in a mirror image of Quistis' stance. "How do you think it effects them when their leader tells them that they're on their own?"

"I thought maybe we were past this," Quistis frowned.

"Past what?"

"You're telling me that I'm inferior and bad at my job," she replied.

"I never said that you were inferior...or that you were bad at your job," he sat up, turning his face away from her. "We gonna dye my hair tonight or what?"

"Yes you did." Quistis wasn't about to let him change the subject. She felt up for a good fight, even if it was just a verbal spat with Seifer.

"No, I didn't." He levered himself off the bed. "I said you were a shitty leader."

"Oh, well, geeze...forgive me for taking that the wrong way," she rolled her eyes.

"You know, sarcasm isn't very attractive on you, Quistis," he announced, shaking his head.

"Same to you," she replied.

"Sarcasm's all I got," he shrugged and started toward the bathroom. "I'm just going to do it myself if you're not going to help me."

"Sarcasm isn't exactly something to fall back on," Quistis frowned, but obediently followed him into the tiny, beige room. She walked in to see him put down the toilet lid and calmly seat himself.

Bending down, she retrieved a box of hair dye from under the sink. They had quite a stock of black hair dye, and on some of her more boring days Quistis had actually considered what she might look like with a new color scheme. That thought, naturally, lasted all of twenty seconds. It would take her a lot longer to rid herself of the dark hue than Seifer.

"You know," Seifer looked up at her as she leaned against the counter and tore the box open, "I'm perfectly capable of doing this myself."

"We've had this conversation before," Quistis replied, shaking her head and then brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I know, but I still haven't gotten a strait answer out of you," he pressed.

"Don't start being an ass now, Seifer," she warned. "We've had a good day, don't ruin it." He seemed to consider this for a few moments as she pulled on the clear plastic gloves and leaned toward him.

"A long day," he finally muttered. "One hellish, long fucking day."

"You say that everyday."

"Well, it's true everyday."

"I'm sure that even you have a good day from time to time," Quistis replied as she went to work on his hair. Her fingers worked through his thick hair, down to his scalp with the smelly goo. It was an odd feeling, even with the gloves on, to be digging her hands into Seifer's hair. Quistis had always envisioned herself burying her fingers in a future lover's hair. Somehow, it seemed intimate, the kind of thing you only did to someone you knew really well, and wanted to get to know better. Doing it to Seifer, and on so frequent of a basis, was making her start to reconsider.

"From time to time," Seifer conceded.

Odd...not like him to give in quite so easily.

Shrugging, she shoved his head down so his chin touched his chest. Used to the rough handling he generally received in Quistis' make-shift salon, he merely grumbled lightly in response.

"Like what?" Quistis finally couldn't contain her curiosity.

"What do you mean?" Seifer said into his chest.

"Good days," she clarified. "What constitutes a good day?"

"Hell, I don't know," he shook his head, causing Quistis to accidentally pull his hair. "Ow...shit!"

"Don't move your head if you don't want to get hurt," she laughed. "Really though...what separates the good days from the bad for you?"

He paused, taking several deep breaths, and Quistis wished she could read his mind. Seifer, she was beginning to discover, was incredibly complex. He was filled with contradictions, ones that she begrudgingly had to admit fascinated her. Rinoa had once commented on his self-confidence, saying that he had the ability to make a person feel like they could take on the world. Quistis had never gotten that impression, she'd always found his confidence somewhat irritating. She'd never had that kind of trust in herself, and she resented seeing how Seifer somehow held it so strongly.

The biting, broken sarcasm he'd come to exhibit was different. There were times when she could almost see a wave of pain hiding behind the anger in his eyes. Other times, her own anger blinded her to anything that might have been happening within him. She wondered just how much her impatience had caused her to miss.

"Why?" he finally asked. "Why do you care?"

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"I don't recommend trying to figure out what makes me tick," he laughed. "You'll only be disappointed by what you find."

"I don't know about that either," she reiterated her previous response. He didn't reply to that, but let loose a low chuckle instead. Smiling a little to herself, Quistis walked around to the other side of him, being careful not to touch him in the close quarters the bathroom created. The back of her calves pressed up against the side of the tub and she had to curve her upper body to keep from brushing against Seifer's arms.

Having come to the realization that she was more than just idly curious about Seifer, on some level she was actually attracted to him, the idea of making contact with him was making her head spin.

"Guilt." She almost missed the uttered word.

"What? Guilt?" She tilted her head to one side, enough so that she could see Seifer grimace.

"A good day," he shrugged, "is a day without guilt."

"You feel guilty? Well...of course you would..." The idea had crossed her mind, but he'd never really admitted to it. His arrogance implied that he felt little to no remorse, and the thought that it really bothered him had never really occurred to her. From time to time, she'd considered the possibility that he was rude to accommodate for his guilt, she'd even gone as far as to accuse him of just such a thing when they'd argued, but it didn't really hit her until that moment.

"Yeah, of course I would," he sneered. "I only tried to kill everyone, destroy the world. But, what the hell, I'm a SeeD now, so everything's just peachy!"

"I can't really defend what you did, Seifer," Quistis shook her head lightly. "But that is all in the past now."

"You're not exactly the one to be preaching to me about forgetting the past, Quistis," he snorted. "You haven't forgiven me, I don't expect you to."

"Everything gets easier with time," she shrugged. "That was four years ago, a lot has happened since then."

"Yeah, a whole lot." Quistis came around to the front of him.

"Do you know that Rinoa was in love with you?" she asked. "She obviously saw something within you...I think it would be worth your time to find whatever that was."

He looked up at her, his eyes hot and angry.

"I'm fucking sick as hell of everyone telling me what I should do!" he barked. "You more than anyone! So Rinoa loved me...great, wonderful...nice to let me know four fucking years later! I don't give a damn about Rinoa or what she saw in me. You and me both know she'd go for anything on two legs with a dick. She chose Squall after all."

"Seifer..." Quistis bent down to get the hair to the front of his head. "I'm only trying to help."

"I don't want your help."

"I don't care." She sent him a little, half-hearted smile. "If your wife - the woman who's going to have your baby - doesn't help, then who will?"

"Enough with the little game," he looked down. "I don't know why you even give a damn."

"Well, I've got to put up with you, and you're much more pleasant when you're content," she said as an explanation. His eyes came back up then. That, she knew, he could understand. Someone else being concerned was beyond him, but selfishness was a concept he was close friends with.

"Knew there was a reason for all the concern," he grunted.

"Ever think maybe I just cared?" she asked, then immediately clamped her mouth shut after hearing the words leave her mouth.

Quistis...Hyne, what the hell are you doing? Why can't I just keep my nose out of things, it's his problem....what do I care? I don't! Dammit...I don't care!

"No, honestly, that thought never crossed my mind," he replied.

Oh shit! I do care! Why? Damn, Seifer...why you? Anyone else, any other person on the face of the planet...but you?

"Well..." she tried desperately to sort out the thoughts running through her mind. As they became more frenzied and tied together, she started to feel a little dizzy. Her vision went blurry, and she found herself struggling to keep her eyes focused. Her gloved fingers came to a short stop in Seifer's hair, and she fought the constraints of language to reply.

Seifer's eyes narrowed a little, and he reached up to grab her arm. The contact of his fingers on her skin brought Quistis back into the world of the lucid, and she snapped her head up quickly.

"One hour."

***

Seifer made a round window in the fog that had descended to cover the bathroom mirror with a fist and looked carefully at his reflection. He felt like shit, and his face showed it. He still was confused about what had happened between himself and Quistis an hour earlier. Was she implying that she cared about him? Or was she merely implying that he was too hard on himself for assuming that no one would care? Confusion swamped him.

She had seemed unusually sunny most of the day. A part of him liked to think it was the kiss, another knew it was the scent of a promotion.

Pulling on a shirt and a pair of boxers, he quickly dried off his newly blackened hair and threw open the door. Quistis was already asleep, curled up under the covers with the moonlight shining down on her from their window.

Their window - that was a funny feeling. Seifer never thought of anything in a plural sense, he'd never been into sharing. Flicking off the bathroom light, he made his way through the darkness toward the bed. The moonlight that was doing such a wonderful job illuminating Quistis did a poor job of betraying the presence of several objects on the floor. He stubbed his toe on one of them, and he cussed viciously between his teeth.

"Seifer..." Quistis rolled onto her back and her eyes cracked open lazily. "You okay?"

"Fine...just great," he grumbled, and climbed into the bed, not even bothering to continue walking over to his side.

"What're you doing?"

"It's like a mine field in here!" he replied. "I'm not walking through it in the dark anymore."

She laughed as he climbed over her, the action making her jiggle appealingly and producing a charming smile on her lips. He flopped down on his side, wriggling his way under the covers.

"You're beautiful when you smile," he announced without thinking about it. For a few long moments of silence, he wondered if he'd really said it. A part of him doubted that the word beautiful would ever be formed by his tongue, and another had thought it so many times that he hardly flinched.

"Thank you," she finally replied, her voice quiet. He waited for her to say something more, then turned to look at her.

"What?"

"Nothing?"

"That's all you're going to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

Sighing, he rolled onto his back. Really, he didn't know what he wanted her to say. He only knew that it was a lot more than a simple two word answer. Reaching up to cover his eyes, he groaned.

What the hell are you thinking? I made her life hell, even tried to kill her, and now I think everything's just going to magically be alright?

"Seifer?"

"What?"

"I forgive you."

Seifer was taken aback, having been caught completely off guard by her announcement. In the dark, he bit at his bottom lip and tried to hold back the tidal wave of emotions that those words let loose. Pinching his eyes closed, he took a few deep breaths.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't say that." He rolled so his back was facing her. Anything else he could have dealt with. She could have thrown herself at him, tearing off her clothes left and right, and he would have been able to come to terms with it easier than he could her forgiveness.

"No more bad days because of me, Seifer," she replied, scooting close to him. "I forgive you."

He cringed and buried his face in the covers. He'd never asked for forgiveness, he didn't want it. Even after four long years, he still noticed the looks people gave him, still felt the need to hide his head. He was sick of it, but he knew that was the way it would be up until the day he died.

"Quistis," he started, ready to rebuff her.

"Hmm?" She reached over with a yawn and rested her hand on his shoulder. The gesture, simple as it was, made him shudder. Biting back the anger rising up in him, he reached up and brushed his fingers across hers.

"Thank you."

He heard Quistis sigh, and she squeezed his shoulder before removing her hand and cuddling the blankets. She always did that right before she fell asleep, and Seifer recognized the stifled sound she made as another yawn. When he finally rolled over to face her, her head was tucked on the edge of his pillow, her blonde hair cascading back across her own. She looked remarkably peaceful.

"Quistis." He bumped her with his arm under the blankets.

"Hmm...what?" Her eyes came open only a little - tiny, weary slits of hot azure.

Not at all certain of what he was doing, or why he was doing it, Seifer leaned toward her, pressing his mouth to hers. Quistis didn't respond at first, she simply at and allowed Seifer to kiss her. Eventually, her lips joined in the dance as she kissed him back.

Seifer's heart had never soared like it did in that moment. He felt a warm rush of joy spread through him, and his hand shook as he brought it up to land upon her jaw.

Her own hand burrowed into his hair, and she released a long sigh. Seifer worked his mouth over hers for a few more moments before deciding to stop. He only wanted to thank her, not start something he'd never be able to stop. Pulling away, he felt her lips clinging to his, and hovered near her for a few unnecessary moments.

"That was lovely," she announced sleepily. She hugged him awkwardly, pulling herself to him with one arm and then tucking herself toward him. Her arm loosened, but she didn't really move away as her eyes fluttered closed, and she started to fall back asleep.

Seifer felt dizzy and thought for a few long moments that he actually was going to pass out. First forgiveness, and then a kiss? He didn't know if he could handle what was happening.

One more day...just hold out one more day and you'll be back in Timber. Then, it's back to Garden and you can forget all about Quistis Trepe. Don't fall for her, Seifer...oh, Hyne, don't fall in love.