Rating

Rating: R

A/N: I'm sorry for the unusual length of time it took me to get this update out. I've had a pretty tight schedule the past week or so, and it hasn't allowed for much writing time. Also, I realize that some of you are getting frustrated with the pace of this fic. I'm sorry, and I thank you for staying with me.

Special Thank You: Caterchipillar, what can I possibly say to you? You're amazing...perhaps one of my biggest fans. Behind me every step of the way, always a fountain of encouraging comments. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. :)

Chapter 14: Red

Seifer ran one finger down the side of his gunblade, clearing away fine particles of dust from the sharp edge. In reality, it wasn't as razor sharp as most people thought, for one very good - if not gruesome - reason. It took a lot of strength to force a weapon through the flesh of an enemy, and if it was sharp enough to cleave down to the bone, it would often get stuck. The average person didn't have the physical gusto needed to slice off a limb with one stroke. Thus, the gunblade served him better if it was slightly dulled.

He grinned slightly to himself. Seifer genuinely liked combat, he liked the way it made his blood boil and muscles twitch. The rush was incomparable and certainly unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. SeeD seemed like the perfect job, the happiest avenue to take. However, the longer he brushed his fingers across the smooth, metal surface of his gunblade - which may as well have been an extension of his soul - he found himself becoming increasingly restless.

Quistis - he knew she was behind it somehow. He couldn't remember a time before her when he'd questioned himself about the future, about what he really wanted out of life. He was actually starting to wonder if this was all there was; this existing for the service of others, this restless, unending violence...this guilt. Despite himself, he found that he wanted some peace in his life. He wanted some measure of peace, something he had found thus far only in the company of a certain Quistis Trepe.

Why her? Am I just a glutton for punishment? She's always made my life as hellish as I have hers...why should I even like her?

His muscles tightened imperceptibly, and the woman in question looked up at him, as if sensing some invisible form of tension radiating from him.

"Something wrong?" she asked, her eyes two unblinking pools behind her thin, wire rimmed glasses. Mere moments before they planned to board a train to Dollet, Quistis was writing up a report of their mission so far. Her pen shook slightly in her hand, but her face betrayed no anxiety.

"No," he replied bluntly, and turned his attention back to his gunblade. Paxx and Selphie, who had willingly chosen to stick together - or, rather, had chosen not to be with Seifer - had already left for Timber. Quistis had seemed mildly upset at having to spend more time alone with him, although her manners gave no hint to the slight panic that had showed in her eyes when it was first suggested.

"We should probably get going, or we're going to miss our train," she announced, slapping her thin notebook closed on her loopy, elegant handwriting.

"Feel free to lead the way," he shrugged, standing to secure Hyperion at his waist.

The trip down to the lobby and then to the train station was made in silence. Both of them were still struggling to adjust to the changes that had occurred between them. It had been easy enough for him to admit that Quistis was a desirable force in his life when they'd been alone on the Galbadian base, miles from anyone they'd ever known. It was a whole different thing to desire her outside of that confined world. Suddenly, she was Instructor Quistis Trepe once again - if not by title, than by mannerism - and that was a hard hurdle for Seifer to jump.

Still, as he stared at the back of her head, focusing on the clip that held her waves of golden hair in a pert little fishtail, he couldn't help but remember the things he'd discovered about her. He'd never imagined that she had a sensual side, that she would respond to a kiss in any other way than by slapping him silly and adding yet another scar to his collection. But, she had responded, and in a wonderfully exciting way. He wondered what she would do if he did it again, outside of the world they'd created at the base.

"I think I've been on just about every train on the planet now," Quistis announced as they sat down.

They were side by side, and they were casually pressed up against one another. Even that small amount of contact made a long shudder race through Seifer's muscles. All the time he'd spent on top of the covers with Paxx sleeping calmly beside him had given him a lot of time to fantasize about the blonde in the next bed. As the night progressed, they became more and more graphic. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly finding his attraction to her magnified, and he secretly hated himself for his weakness. It would be different if all he wanted from her was sex...but he wanted more from her than that.

"You're unusually quiet," she noted, a pert nod of her head accenting the remark.

"Sorry, didn't realize chatter was part of my character," he rolled his eyes. That defensiveness, it popped up from time to time without warning.

Who am I kidding? It pops up all the time.

"Fine," she recoiled a little and faced forward again.

Do it now...you'll never have a better opportunity...

For a few, agonizing moments he fought against his base instinct. He had to work with her, see her for the next few days, and if she spun around and slapped him it would be comparable to pouring salt in an open wound.

Fuck...just do it!

In a rush of motion he captured Quistis' jaw in his right hand and levered her face toward his own. He was vaguely aware of her muffled gasp of surprise as their lips connected. Her mouth was surprisingly soft under his, and as he fought not to loose himself in the kiss, he felt the tension ease from her body. That was his undoing, the way she melted into him...a low sigh escaping her formerly rigid body. Seifer bit at her, nibbling along her bottom lip until she allowed him to deepen the kiss. She only seemed to realize what that entailed when he slid her jaw open.

"Whoa..." she pulled suddenly away, her eyes bright and wild. "Where did that come from?" Her breathing was heavy, and he could see the quick rise and fall of her chest as she gaped up at him.

Seifer didn't answer her question, but turned to look out the window. He wasn't sure if her reaction had been rejection or shock. A little confused, an unreasonably angry, he felt his every muscle tense. It was hard for him to understand where all the anger was coming from. He'd been a bully all of his life, but it had always been more of a past time than a real outlet of suppressed rage. Presently, his temper was something vastly different. It was an outlet for his guilt, a means for him to exercise the flood of anger he felt toward the people who had betrayed him. The people who were supposed to be his friends who hadn't been bothered in the least to turn their backs on him.

Quistis touched his arm, derailing his thoughts. He jumped involuntarily and turned back to look into her questioning blue eyes. He wasn't sure he knew how to answer her question.

"Seifer?" she tilted her head to the side a little. She blinked a few times, her ruddy lips parted slightly. Seifer wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, to take hold of her and never let go, but part of him knew that he couldn't. This wasn't just a girl, this was Quistis Trepe - she wasn't like the women he generally kept company with.

"What? You want me to say some shitty damn romantic thing to you?" he demanded. That seemed to catch her off-guard.

"No, I'd never expect that of you," she replied, her eyes narrowing.

Hyne - I'm such a fucking bastard.

Her jaw clenched, and she turned away from him. Shaking his head, Seifer desperately tried to sort through his muddled thoughts. He was no longer sure how he felt about Quistis. He wanted to shove her down, scream at her, and make love to her all at the same time. It was a confusing, bubbling mix of emotions that was keeping him constantly on edge.

Dammit! I don't need this shit!

***

Dollet was one of those cities that never changed - the pace of life, the thickness of the air, the same old man walking down the street, his haggard dog obediently at his heels. Quistis didn't particularly like change, and there was a certain amount of peace she drew from the seemingly immortal Dollet. Perched on the side of the fountain, she let her mind run over the strange changes that had occurred in her life since she left Balamb with Selphie, Paxx, Krik, and Seifer.

It seemed like a lifetime ago. She almost couldn't remember the details of her teaching career, almost couldn't remember sitting bitterly in the cafeteria the morning before they left. For a moment she thought of Squall. Only, she thought of the moody Squall that had existed before Rinoa. He'd always seemed to restless, so out of place with the other students. She never really understood why the female population of Garden wasn't all over him - she certainly wouldn't have minded getting a piece of him. With Rinoa, things had changed. She couldn't say that she was happy Rinoa had been able to crawl under Squall's skin, couldn't even say that she wasn't still bitterly resentful, but she was starting to understand.

Seifer, of all people, was showing her how difficult relationships could be. She could identify with Squall's unwillingness to be involved in them - they certainly opened up a person to a whole new world of pain and confusion.

Clenching her fists together, she felt her fingernails bite into the flesh of her palm. Seifer's ever shifting attitude was beginning to become more than she could take. One moment, he'd corner her and kiss her passionately only to pull away and unleash some of the ever present violence that existed within him. She didn't understand why he was acting so erratically, really wasn't even sure she wanted to. All she really knew was that she was tired of being dangled on a string. At least Squall had been able to directly tell her he didn't want her.

Presently, she was faced with the task of sorting through her own feelings. Did she want Seifer? Could he possibly ever be the one for her? There was undeniably something about him that had drawn her in. After all, she couldn't ignore the fact that when he kissed her - an act that was becoming more and more frequent as of late - her blood quickened and her muscles began to melt. The magic she'd always wanted to find wasn't there, the questions in her mind belied its existence, but there was something. Was something enough to hold onto? Was Seifer even the kind of person a girl could hold onto?

She had too many questions, and not enough answers. On top of that, the distraction that Seifer presented had been severely affecting her focus on the mission. Galbadia hadn't attacked yet, and they'd already been in Dollet for three days. She was becoming antsy and doubt was starting to creep into the back of her mind. What if they'd gotten the details wrong? What if she screwed up...would her world come to a quick and abrupt end if she ever failed so miserably? She wanted to curl up into a ball and hide.

The setting sun splashed crimson red across the sky. The color, thick as blood but soft as rose, sunk deep into the fluffy clouds, staining them a tantalizing pink. The orange halo toward the horizon was blotted out by buildings but reflected back onto the ground.

Red - that covered just about everything. In the scarlet depths of the sky, she could clearly see her anger, desire, and fear. Strange how so many emotions could exist in one shade of the rainbow. Quistis liked to consider herself observant and well equipped. Seifer was starting to prove that she was neither.

Pushing herself up onto her feet, she pushed her loose hair behind her ears. The last thing she wanted to do was waste the evening standing around and thinking about Seifer. She'd spent the last three days, in fact, the past week thinking about him. It seemed he never left her mind. Determined, however, Quistis smoothed down her light, pleated skit and started down the cobblestone street. Her sandals filled the still air with a rhythmic patter, giving her something else to focus on.

For lack of a better thing to do, she wandered into the local pub, intending to play a few games of cards. She'd played all over the world and had quite a formidable deck. In short, she was hard to beat. If anything, it was a good way to make a few quick bucks - gamble a little, win a few games, and she'd have a pocket of gil to keep her away from the hotel. So maybe it wasn't completely honest, the people who bet against her generally had the money to burn.

"Evening." A man, she guessed he was in his mid twenties, grinned at her as she walked into the dim establishment. His hair was fiery red and spiked attractively. His penetrating blue eyes ran up and down the length of her a few times before he got up out of his seat.

"Do I know you?" Quistis leaned away from him a little.

"You could," he chuckled, his voice deep and rich.

"Really?" Quistis raised an eyebrow. Everything about him was fundamentally attractive - great body, handsome facial features, he was even charming in his own way - but he wasn't really her type. If he was maybe a little taller...with some gold and green in his eyes...lighter hair, broader shoulders, a wickedly sexy grin...

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked, flashing her his best smile.

Quistis was about to say no when she caught herself. She didn't have any good reason to say no, aside from Seifer. Opening her mouth, she went to accept his offer, only to find that she really didn't want to sit with the man over a drink.

"Sorry...not tonight," she finally shrugged.

"Come on," he pressed. "It's only a drink...no obligations." He reached out and touched her elbow.

"I appreciate the offer," she looked down at his hand, trying not to pull away, "but I'm not really up for it tonight."

"Sure you are," he smiled. "Come on...I insist. I mean, you're not doing anything else, are you? It's totally harmless."

"Harmless, I'm sure." Quistis almost choked on her own tongue when she heard Seifer's voice. He'd just entered the pub and his muscles were visibly tense as he walked up behind her. His stormy eyes rested on the red haired man for a few frightening moments before shifting to Quistis. When he reached her, he bumped her slightly with his arm. "We need to talk."

"Who are you?" The redhead obviously felt that he was the resident alpha-male and Seifer was stepping into his territory. Quistis would place her bets on Seifer, but she sincerely hoped things didn't come to that. At the same time, the idea of him fighting for her gave her a kind of sick thrill.

"Fuck off," Seifer snarled, then grabbed Quistis' arm roughly. "Come on."

The redhead put up surprisingly little fight as Seifer drug her out of the pub - actually, she went with him quite willingly, but it made her feel better to imagine herself being hauled out over his shoulder. His hand was closed tightly over hers, warm and strong. Her eyes were drawn to the play of muscles on his back and arms as he walked.

"What're you practicing making friends, or what?" Seifer asked, pausing to toss open the hotel door. Was that jealousy in his voice?

Hyne...I'm loosing my mind. No stable person could feel this way about Seifer.

Embracing her insanity, if only for a moment, she ignored his sharp question and followed him up the stairs to their room. As days drew by and she spent more and more time with him, she found that she was being pulled in tighter. The ties between them, which had always been slack if not completely non-existent, were being pulled almost uncomfortably tight. Her feelings on the subject were conflicting. Earlier at the fountain she'd been ready to pull his irritating head off, and presently she was ready to seek utter abandonment in his arms.

Her bizarre, tumbling emotions were something that was becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.

"Well?" she prompted him, stepping in front of him to enter the room first. It was smaller than the hotel room they'd had in Deling City, even smaller than the room they'd shared on the army base. Seifer seemed to take up all of the empty space that had even thought of existing there, surrounding her and bombarding her senses. Perhaps it was the overload of him that was causing her strange, unwanted desire.

"You do know what that guy wanted, don't you?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"I have a pretty good idea."

"So you just decided to stand there like a moron while he swindled you?" he demanded.

"Swindled me?" That caught her a little off guard.

"He was stealing from you, Quistis." Seifer rolled his eyes, like the man's ulterior motives should have been obvious.

"When...how?" She shook her head, not sure she believed what she was being told.

"Remember when he touched you?" he asked, making her wonder how long he'd watched. "He's a thief."

"I thought he..." she looked down at the thick, beige carpet. She'd thought he was rescuing her from the clutches of another man, protecting her as his property. Instead, he'd been protecting their pocket book, defending their fiscal welfare. Somehow, it made her feel like less of a woman.

"You might want to check yourself later to see if he got anything before I got there," Seifer suggested, taking a step closer to her.

"I don't think he did," she sighed, her eyes still roaming over her feet and the floor. She could have sworn the man's intentions were solidly placed in the realm of sex. Whether that was something she'd wanted was beyond the point, the fact that he apparently hadn't wanted her hurt a little.

"I should've knocked his teeth down his throat," Seifer fumed, letting loose a string of swear words. The level of his fury belied the relative innocence of the crime, and Quistis was forced to wonder if Seifer was fibbing to protect himself. He was always the kind to protect himself first, but she supposed that she couldn't blame him for that. His earliest memories were probably ones of abandonment - he'd always had to look after himself. She was the same, only in a different form. Quistis craved success and recognition of that said success. She wanted to protect others from the things that had happened to her. She wanted to escape the life she led.

"Hyne..." Seifer muttered, bringing her attention back to him. His hand came up to tangle in her hair at the back of her head. With a low, guttural sound, he pulled her face to his and bestowed one of his now familiar kisses upon her lips. Each one was different, but they were uniform in one singular way - each of them made Quistis' heart pound a little harder and pressed the limits of a healthy body temperature. He pulled her close, folding her in a tight, relentless embrace. There was danger and violence in Seifer, and it showed in the way he kissed. He bit at her lips, pursued a deeper union aggressively. Tongue, hands, and lips worked over her, building a passionate tempest deep in Quistis' untouchable core.

She could feel her muscles tremble as submission lurked. She wanted to give in, wanted to let Seifer take things further. She was tired of being alone, tired of holding back and always doing what was responsible.

Yes. This is what I want. Hyne...Seifer...all that I want...

Feeling a rush of...something, Quistis dropped her jaw and welcomed Seifer into her own embrace. He seemed surprised at first, but it passed quickly and he issued an animalistic sound in response.

Split seconds later, they were torn apart as a loud roar tore through the air.

"Oh shit!" Seifer yelled, more lucid than Quistis as he sprinted to the window. She followed him, attempting to regain a hold on all of her faculties. She arrived in time to see the high flying missiles streak across the sky, tearing apart the air and peace in their wake.

The invasion had begun.

It took her a moment to process the fact that they were still too high to hit Dollet. Granted, they normally sailed upward right before reaching their target so as to get a direct hit; however, these were still moving to the east, out across the ocean.

A deep, aching dread hit her, causing her to physically stumble backward. She saw Seifer sink against the window sill through blurry eyes. Quistis wasn't even aware of the shrill cry she let loose. The Galbadians weren't aiming for Dollet, or even Timber. Their missiles were aimed at Balamb.