Rating: R
A/N: Good thing that I got some sleep today after school! I sat down and just wrote this in one big shebang! It's a little weird, but that's okay. Also, I've decided how many chapters this fic is going to be...and I'm getting very reluctant to finish it! Not that I'm tired of writing it, the complete opposite, I don't want it to end :) Anyway, moving on...we're almost done here. Enjoy.
Chapter 16: Bleeding
Seifer rolled over, tucking himself closer to whatever warm, fragrant thing he'd been dreaming of. He felt comfortable, and he thought he could probably lay forever right where he was. It was only when he felt movement underneath him that he dared to open his eyes. It was always hard in the morning to get up and face the world. It never looked as he'd imagined during sleep, and the peace he occasionally would find in unconsciousness would bleed away with the night.
This morning, however, he opened his eyes to the sleeping countenance of Quistis Trepe. She had one arm slung around him and the other was crooked up above her head, showing the creamy curve of her skin. Her blonde hair caught the pre-dawn light and fanned out across the pillow they were sharing. He felt his breath catch and the world physically seemed to rock about him.
Franticly he searched his mind. How had she gotten there? What had happened between them?
Oh Hyne...if we...and I forgot?
He peeled himself away from her a bit, only to have her hang on and come with him. The movement jarred her out of sleep and her eyes cracked open, dilated and hazy. She had a firm grip and had one leg entwined with one of his.
A soft smile curved her mouth.
"Quistis?" he whispered, not quite knowing how to pose his question. Vaguely he remembered something of a dream he'd had, she'd come to him in the night and climbed into his bed. As he stared down her her, still not quite sure he believed she was there, he attempted to ravel a sense of reality into the hazy memory.
"Hmm?" she let her vice grip ease up enough to drop her back onto her back.
"You're..." he had to look away from her to collect his thoughts. "You're here."
Quistis shrugged a little and yawned. Beneath him, he felt her muscles strain and stretch. Her lithe body under his was more than Seifer could resist and he bent back down to brush a kiss across her cheek. He could only think that what he was feeling was something he'd never known. It was something he supposed everyone wanted, and he had to admit to a little bit of surprise that it somehow came to him.
"What time is it?" she asked, trailing one hand down his back.
"I dunno," he shrugged. "The sun will be up in a bit."
"I don't want to go."
"I don't want you to go."
They sat in silence, Seifer wishing he could tell her everything on his mind and wishing he hadn't told her the things he already had all at the same time.
The sound of their breathing filled still air in the small tent. Seifer would have never imagined weeks ago that he'd ever wake up in Quistis' arms. He'd always thought that she was beautiful - how couldn't he? - but he'd never even considered the idea that they might someday find themselves together. Presently, that seemed like more of a probability than a far-fetched fantasy. After all, she'd finally come to him, trusted him, and now the air between them was devoid of tension.
"Quistis?"
"Yeah?"
"This is crazy," he shook his head, then pressed his cheek to hers. He wasn't even sure what he meant, whether his feelings were chaotic or that the both of them had to mentally unhinged to even consider what they were.
"You're not what I always thought you were," she replied.
"I am," he squeezed his eyes shut, envisioning the exotic form of Edea. "I'm everything you've ever thought of me. I've hated you, hated Squall...I would have killed you."
"But not anymore."
"That's not really the point," he sighed. "There's nothing good about me, Quistis. Even now, when it's been done and over for years, I can't move on. I will always be the Sorceress' Knight."
"I wouldn't have you any other way," she shrugged. "You're more than that."
Seifer didn't continue the argument. For one, bickering was the last thing he felt like doing. Also, her praise made his heart pound and made his blood run thickly warm. He liked hearing her defend his honor, even if he didn't deserve it.
"If you're going to go, now's the time," he said instead, giving her the chance to retreat. During the night, things were twisted around. She might not have been thinking clearly, she could be regretting ever coming to his tent. Doubt - his most common partner next to anger and a deeply wounded sort of depression. He'd been bleeding for years, and not from an easy to deal with physical injury.
"I'm fine right here," she said firmly.
He let out a long breath when she said that, not even having been aware of holding it. Not knowing what to say, he bit down on his tongue and rolled over so that he was no longer on top of her. She readjusted, placing her fragrant little head on his shoulder. The sheer golden tresses of her hair cascaded behind her like a waterfall in the wind. He wanted to bury himself in it, surround himself with the blissful gold and never resurface.
"You know what people are going to say..." he muttered.
"Nothing they don't already, I'm sure," she snorted. "People believe what they want to."
Seifer smiled, knowing that somehow during the night everything had changed. He and Quistis had changed, the world itself had become irrevocably different. Perhaps, he reflected, that was a wonderful thing. Certainly the former, but the latter could be as well. If Quistis didn't receive her position back as an instructor, they could start their own life...together.
He stopped short of imagining little blonde haired kids, Quistis as a wife and mother. Not only a mother, but mother to his children.
Wallowing in male bliss, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and continued to deny that the thought of her as his wife didn't please him to his core.
***
Sweaty, filthy, and exhausted - Squall let his gunblade slip from his fingers to clatter against the ground. Quistis watched him with guarded eyes. He'd been worked hard the past few days, and likely blamed the whole situation on her. After all, her failure was the cause of the whole mess Garden found itself in.
He forked a hand through his hair and, stooping down to retrieve the lost weapon, walked up to her. His icy blue eyes betrayed no emotion. She'd known that she would have to face him eventually, but she'd naturally assumed that she wouldn't have to see him until the ordeal was settled. From the current outlook, the war could wage on for upward of months, even years. Galbadia had participated in a shocking act of war, and everyone was poised to respond. Only Centra had yet to choose sides.
"Quistis," Squall nodded, removing his gloves. The sun was warm, and she could feel the black shirt she was wearing absorb the heat and radiate it down into her back. She could only imagine how hot the darkly clad Squall had to be. Snapping the gloves hard against his thigh, he squinted through the dust cloud to see her nod.
"How have you been?" he asked. "I mean...really."
"Alright," she shrugged.
"Where is the rest of your team?" he asked, looking around the tent town.
"In Balamb," she replied. "Selphie, Paxx, and Seifer are helping to clear debris from the harbor so that ships can bring in supplies."
"I see," he nodded. "The war thus far is going in our favor."
"Good to hear." She fought the urge to demand he get to the point. Squall hadn't come to talk to her about the politics of war, and they both knew it. He looked up at the sky, squinting for a moment and rubbing his forehead before he looked back at her. She wondered if he could see the changes. Instead of her usual skirt and tank top combo she was wearing pants, olive green pants with a black tank top and boots. Her hair was pulled back into a loose, half hearted pony tail. She certainly didn't have the air of a Garden Instructor.
"We need SeeDs," Squall announced. "You, Seifer, Selphie, Paxx, and any other SeeD forces here are going to have to redispatch."
The order to move on wasn't something Quistis had seen coming. It made sense, they needed all the forces they could spare to defend Garden and participate in the offense. She suspected that Timber, Dollet, and the rest of the allied forces were digging to the bottom of their pocketbooks for the assistance.
"Where to?" she asked, secretly hoping that she and Seifer would end up in the same place.
"Whever you're needed," he replied. "You're to report back to Garden, you'll be debriefed and reassigned."
"And Garden is...?"
"In Esthar," he replied. "I'll be flying back on Ragnarok."
"I see," Quistis sighed, looking down for the first time with a sense of defeat. "When do we leave?"
"As soon as possible," he replied. "Rinoa and I need to meet with Laguna later today." Quistis nodded and, tangling one hand in a long necklace she was wearing, turned toward Balamb. Her thoughts revolved around Seifer for a moment only to come to rest on Krik. She still hadn't heard the final news on him, whether he was still alive or had been killed. It was possible, however unlikely, that he had divulged information vital the the success of Quistis' mission. It could have been facts he had revealed that Galbadia targeted Balamb instead of the closer threats of Timber or Dollet.
Shaking her head, she mentaly chastized herself for trying to put off her failure on someone else. Even if Krik had given away information, it was her fault he had been caught. Everything eventually looped back upon the leader. She would be held responsible.
Squall didn't follow her, she supposed he was probably going back to Ragnarok to spend some time with Rinoa before departure. She couldn't really blame him, though the bitterness that usually accompanied such a thought was suspiciously dim. Quistis had always been jealous of the way Rinoa was able to wrap men around her finger. It seemed to easy for her to wriggle her way into someone's heart. Love and affection was something Quistis had spent the majority of her life trying to obtain.
Unlike Squall and Seifer, she had been adopted. They had never had the opportunity for a family, although Squall had been given Ellone for a sister. Seifer had grown up with no one, aside from maybe Edea. Quistis had been dropped into an all together different situation. Her family didn't love her, didn't even seem to particularly want her around. She'd only ever said that things hadn't worked out, she'd never hinted to anyone how loosing the prospective love of parents and siblings had hurt her.
All of Balamb loomed in front of her, a mess of smoking rubble. People were crawling over it like ants, trying to haul out the debris so that the people could come in a rebuild. There was no doubt in her mind that Balamb would be rebuilt. There was a lot of money that floated into the little town from its excellent harbor and sea-side charm. Balamb wasn't lacking in any financial respect, and rebuilding would only be a burden rather than an impossibility.
Seifer looked up when she approached and flashed her a short smile. He was still uncomfortable showing any positive feelings at all, but she didn't hold it against him. She still found the whole idea of them as an item a strange one.
"Squall is here," she announced when he walked up to meet her. He looked good, better than good, with the sun beating down on him. His hair was starting to grow out and in a while he'd be back to his natural hair color. She was looking forward to seeing his sandy blonde hair as it had used to be. Though it was the raven haired Seifer she fell in love with, she was ready to accept the other.
Love, had she just really thought that? It didn't come so hard as it used to.
"Really?" he scowled. "What did he have to say? Did his voice change or something, he needed to come and show you?"
"We're being redeployed," she replied, ignoring the sarcastic comment.
"To where?" he asked, his bravado deflated.
"Back to Garden at the moment," she shrugged. "We have to leave now."
"Shit," he cussed, running his fingers through his hair. "Alright, I'll get Selphie and Paxx and tell them."
"Thanks," she smiled. He shrugged and touched a hand to her elbow. She wanted him to kiss her, and waited for a few moments to see if it would come. When it didn't she was only mildly disappointed. Seifer wasn't really the kind of guy for public displays of affection.
"I'm going to put my stuff on Ragnarok, want me to take your stuff too?" she asked.
"Sure," he replied. He lingered for a moment after the word, pausing to look around the harbor. After what seemed an unusual amount of contemplation, he bent over and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. It wasn't like the kind he'd given her back in Dollet. This one didn't hold the savage hunger and restrained violence. This kiss was more like the casual, comforting one he'd given her on the Galbadian base. It baffled her how so many contradictions could exist within one man - violent and gentle, protector and killer, lover and fighter.
"Mmm," she sighed when he pulled away. "Thank you."
"No problem," he laughed.
Turning on her heel, and with a jaunty step, she made her way back to the tents. Most of the townspeople were milling around, looking for something to do or even just something to eat. The Bite Bugs had been a problem at first, but most of them were keeping their distance from the camp. Even the T-Rexaurs seemed to bestow some reverence upon the event and avoided leaving for forests at all.
Her suitcase was mostly packed. Only a few articles of clothing were left strewn about her tent. There was her pajamas which she had torn off in a flurry that morning after leaving Seifer's tent. Waking up with him had been an interesting experience. He'd seemed surprised to find her there, and privately she'd been surprised as well.
They'd laid together for some time, just enjoying each other's company. It was as if nothing needed to be said between them, like all of the world had stopped and they were free to travel whatever path they chose. Nothing was holding them back aside from their own inhibitions.
Unzipping her suitcase, she started to stuff things in without a mind for order. She'd lived out of her suitcase for longer than she usually did, and she was quickly running out of clothes that weren't hopelessly wrinkled and dirty. She had to grin a little as her fingers brushed across the teddy that the G.A.W. had presented her with. Whatever they thought of her now, they probably were regretting it. Quistis had always got the feeling that Pita knew all was not right from the start. She was an observant woman, and had certainly noticed the almost tangible tension between Seifer and Quistis.
Smiling, she laid the teddy on top and zipped the suitcase back up. Maybe someday she would wear the slinky piece for Seifer. The idea made her blush from her forehead to her toes. She was almost giddy with the prospect of what could be ahead of them.
Her giddiness faded as she stepped out of her tent and started toward Ragnarok. She'd been able to ignore the fact that she would someday have to face her superiors back at Garden while Seifer had filled her mind. As she walked, however, each step took her closer and closer to impending doom. Her heart sunk with the realization that she was walking toward the rest of her life, there was no turning back.
The grassy knolls of the Alcauld plains surrounded her on either side, offering her no solace. Her suitcase heavy in one arm, she switched it to her right, which was stronger from years of training with a whip. Well aware that the position made her vulnerable to attack - she would have to drop her suitcase to get to her whip - she walked on. The monsters didn't particularly concern her, she could down any of them with relative ease.
Treading the path of the road that had once lead to Balamb Garden, she let her mind sink back into a reflection of the time before Seifer had become the Sorceress' Knight. She remembered walking down to the beach and letting the waves lap at her feet. Balamb Garden had been a happy, peaceful place to live. She'd settled down easily into her life there. Getting fired, and then sent off into what turned out to be an epic battle, had certainly tossed a stick or two into her spokes.
She looked toward the beach, imagining herself on the shore with Seifer beside her. Why he suddenly was such an irresistible draw was beyond her. Her heart fluttered and little, and she sighed.
Quistis was caught off-guard when something hit her hard from behind, throwing her painfully to the ground. Her first thought was that she'd been attacked by a T-Rexaur, but as a loud voice penetrated through the pain ringing through her knees and back she realized it was a man who had jumped at her.
"Hold still!" he commanded, allowing the blade of his sword to bite into her back. She recognized him immediately as being Galbadian, and her heart sunk down past her stomach to her toes. She continued to struggle under him anyway, trying her best to upset his center of gravity and throw him off. Unfortunately, he held firm.
"Dammit, I said hold still!" he repeated. "I know where you're going...and you're going to get me out of here."
"Why would I do that?" she asked, trying to crane her neck so she could see the face of her attacker.
"Because if you don't, I'll kill you," he replied. "Or have you forgotten that this is war?"
She swallowed and he grabbed a fist of her hair in one hand.
"How many people?" he asked. "I saw the man, there must be more."
"More coming," she replied. The sword dug deeper into her skin. "I'm not going to tell you anything."
"You damn well better!" he bit out. "The rest of my men have been brought in, and I need to get the hell out of here one way or another. Don't think I won't hurt you."
Quistis didn't have time to reply before she heard her rescue begin. She recognized sound of Seifer's voice as he ran up, wielding his gunblade. She heard the soldier gasp audibly and felt an increased pressure behind the sword at her back. His weight lifted slightly when he instinctively leaned away from the oncoming attack. Quistis used the moment to roll under him, though not quite far enough. He leaned back far to avoid Seifer's first swing, plunging the sword into Quistis' shoulder.
Pain flooded her, and she felt hot blood ooze out over her skin. Her entire body seemed to quicken, and the world around her stumbled and titled. She wasn't even aware of Seifer hitting the soldier with his second blow. His hit wasn't nearly as kind as the Galbadian's had been to Quistis and he lay dead on the grass, his blood joining Quistis'.
Her head swam, and she grabbed at Seifer's hand when it came within her site. He pulled the sword out of her shoulder with one swift motion, eliciting a long cry from her. Her vision was blurry, the pain was incredible. Seifer hovered around her, his hands red with her blood.
"Quistis?" he bent toward her. "Oh, Hyne...Quistis."
