Title: Justice Never Sleeps! Or Does It?
Author: Syaoran No Ichiban Aikousha
Author's Notes: Thanks for joining me at "The Slayers Theatre"! Please enjoy my screwed up story.
Disclaimer: Slayers isn't mine!
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Ameria: *Sparkling eyes* Finally! I have my first lead part!
Lina: Yeah, yeah..
Naga: Lets get this show on the road! *Pulls up the curtain as everyone frantically responds to the quick start and darts to their places*
Lina: NAGA!
[ On stage ]
Naga: Hello, dear audience! Welcome to our little feature presentation, "Sleeping Beauty"! We begin in a big castle where Sleeping Beauty has just been born.
[ King, as played by Gourry Gabriev ]
Gourry: Thank you, fairies, for coming to the birth of ... um, Filia..
[ Queen, as played by Filia ul Copt ]
Filia: What?
Gourry: What's the kid's name?
Filia: *Goes blank* Name?...
Gourry: Yeah.
Filia: ...
Gourry: *Look of confusion*
[ Fairy #1, as played by Sylpheel Nels Rada ]
Sylpheel: Lets just begin giving her our gifts! *Waves her wand over the "baby"* She shall be kind and loved by all.
[ Fairy #2, as played by Martina ]
Martina: *Waves her wand* And she shall be beautiful, with the voice of an angel!.. *Blushes* Much like myself!
[ Fairy #3, as played by Lina Inverse ]
Lina: *Glares at Martina* Lets not cause a disaster, Martina... *Waves her wand* And--
[ Evil Fairy, as played by Xelloss Metallium ]
Xelloss: *Cheerfully* Wait a minute!
Gourry: What are you doing here?
Xelloss: Oh, I would just like to know why I wasn't invited to this.
Filia: We..
Xelloss: I'll just give the baby my own little present. *Waves his wand*
[ Backstage ]
Ameria: Zelgadis-san, you're not uncomfortable with the play?
Zelgadis: *Blush* I-I can do it..
Ameria: *Looks away and turns red*
[ On stage ]
Xelloss: At the age of sixteen, she shall prick her finger on a spinning wheel and die! *Gets a tingling feeling* Oh, my.. the audience is reacting to this very well... *Smiles*
Gourry: Xelloss?
Lina: *Sigh*
Filia: That namagomi...
Xelloss: *Flashes out*
Gourry: Oh what shall we do?
Filia: Our baby is doomed..
Lina: *Triumphantly* She is not! I have not yet used my gift. Although I cannot undo all of what has been done, I can alter it. *Waves her wand* The princess shall not die, but she shall sleep. For a hundred years and can only be awakened with a kiss.
Gourry: WAIT!
*Everyone stares at Gourry in surprise*
Gourry: ... If she pricks her finger and sleeps for a hundred years............. wouldn't that make her over a hundred years old when the prince comes??
*CRASH*
*Curtain falls*
[ Backstage ]
Ameria: Now, it is time for the big climax of the story!
Gourry: I thought the climax was when the evil fairy came..
Ameria: W-Well..
Lina: Gourry knows what a climax is?..
Naga: WE'RE ON!
[ On stage ]
*Curtain flies up*
Naga: Sixteen years pass and the princess does turn out to be all of the things the fairies said she would.
[ Backstage ]
Lina: Hmph.. sixteen? I'm more sixteen than Ameria..
Zelgadis: I think you've had enough leading parts.
Lina: *Wink* Someone with my talents could never get enough leads, right, Zel?
Zelgadis: *Blushes and looks away with a scoff* Whatever you say...
[ On stage ]
Naga: The king and queen had ordered for all of the spining wheels in town to be burned. Ohohoho! Wise choice, your highness, but did they really think it'd work?
Lina: Stick to the script!
Naga: Fine. The princess was also a very curious princess. As she was wandering about the castle one day, she had discovered a room in one of the towers. Entering it, she saw an old lady, bent over a spinning wheel.
Ameria: Oh, hello! Who are you?
Xelloss: *In disguise* Oh, I am just a simple spinner. Would you like to try it?
Ameria: Of course! *Reaches over and accidently pricks herself and falls to the ground* A-Ack...
Xelloss: Oh, something wrong, Ameria-san?
Ameria: ... Just fell a bit harder than I expected... *Closes her eyes and pretends to sleep*
Naga: And at that moment, the entire castle seem to fall asleep! The castle stood still and silent for 100 years.. and then..
[ Prince, as played by Zelgadis ]
Zelgadis: O-Oh, look! A castle...
Naga: The prince approached the castle with much curiousity.
Zelgadis: *Enters the castle to find everyone asleep* I wonder what happened.
Naga: He searched around and came to the room where Sleeping Beauty was.
Zelgadis: ...
[ Backstage ]
Martina: I don't know why we never rehearsed it. If we did, the "awakening" scene wouldn't be so strange.
Lina: I didn't think they'd pull it off. *Sigh* Just look at them! They're already jumping out of their skins.
Gourry: ... How is that possible?
Lina: I'll show you possible...
[ On stage ]
Naga: The prince found the mysterious girl so enchanting and beautiful, he couldn't help but give her a kiss...
Zelgadis: *Freezes*
Naga: *Smiles* Ahem... He couldn't help but give her a kiss...!
*Nothing happens*
[ Backstage ]
Lina: Geh, what'd I tell ya'?
Filia: This is the big scene, though! We have to think of something..
Sylpheel: Hmm, how about..
[ On stage ]
Zelgadis: Um.. ah..
Naga: Help but give her a kiss...!!
Ameria: *Whispers* Z-Zelgadis-san..?
Zelgadis: *Scowls and blushes* I said I could do this..
[ Backstage ]
Lina: It might just work... Everyone know what to do?
Everyone: *Nods*
[ On stage ]
Naga: ... *TwitchTwitch* No problem.. just.. keep narrating.. As the prince stared at the sleeping figure in a trance, he gently leaned over and...
Zelgadis: ...
Ameria: ..
Gourry & Filia: *Run to the audience and sit amongst them*
Zelgadis: What.. ?
[ Backstage ]
Lina: Alright.. looks like everyone's in place. *Whispers* Levitation..! *Rises to the ceiling and grabs onto the bar that the curtain hangs off of, deactivating the spell* Now.. FIRE... BALL! *Shoots the spell all the way to the back of the room, behind the audience*
[ On stage ]
Ameria: *Jumps up* What?!
Filia: H-Hey! What was that?? *Points to the back*
Audience: *Heads jerk to where the spell landed*
Gourry: Oh, lets all stare at it!
Audience: *Stares at it in awe*
Martina: *Runs out to the stage while the audience continues focusing their attention to the back of the room*
Lina: Now!
Martina: Gotcha'! *Makes the kiss-y noise and winks* Muah!
Lina: Y-Yeah, good enough.. now out with you!
Martina: Lina!
Lina: *Raises her hand* Di--
Martina: *Runs off*
Filia: Oh, well.. lets look at the play again!
Gourry: Hey.. look, Lina broke the door..
Filia: Gourry-san!
Gourry: R-Right! *They run off and slip backstage*
Sylpheel: I thought that was believable..
Lina: You're kidding, right?
[ On stage ]
Ameria: Um.. well, I'm .. up..
Zelgadis: .. Yes.. it appears that way.
Naga: .. *Confused* Ohohoho! Trying to pull the wool over Naga the Serpant's eyes? Well, it won't work! Thus the prince and princess lived a happy life together! The end!
[ Backstage ]
Ameria & Zelgadis: What happened??
Lina: You too just stood there and played "The Stare At Each Other" game! We had to push you along!
Gourry: I didn't get much of a part in that play..
Filia: Neither did I.
Sylpheel: *Peeks out at the audience* They do not appear to be too happy.
Lina: What?! After all that we did?!
Xelloss: Well, I admit it wasn't much.
Zelgadis: The audience doesn't feel very satisfied, I suppose.
Lina: *Clenches her fist* Ungrateful people ... *Heads out to the stage*
Gourry: *Holds Lina back* L-Lina!
Martina: Showing that violent and merciless side of you isn't going to help!
Lina: ... Violent and merciless.. ?
Ameria: I know! How about we give them another play! A short one!
Sylpheel: But we haven't rehearsed..
Zelgadis: I doubt rehearsals help anyway..
Lina: We have no costumes either.
Ameria: I don't think that'll be too much of a trouble. Lets see.. we could easily pull off something easy..
Sylpheel: *Clasps her hands together* How about, the Three Billy Goats Gruff? It's a cute little story. And short.
Lina: If it's short... then I suppose so. I've never heard of this story, so I'll go along with you guys.
Sylpheel: Okay, here's the cast...
- Minutes pass ... -
Xelloss: Welcome, audience! Here's an unexpected little showing of "The Three Billy Goats Gruff"! Once upon a time, there lived three goats.
[ Little goat, as played by Zelgadis Greywards ]
Zelgadis: ... I'm not "baa-ing"...
[ Middle sized goat, as played by Gourry Gabriev ]
Gourry: Baa!
[ Big goat, as played by Lina Inverse ]
Lina: Why do I have to be the huge goat?!
Xelloss: One day, they passed a bridge..
Lina: .. *Angrily* That grass--
[ Backstage ]
Filia: Lina-san, happy tone!
[ On stage ]
Lina: .. T-That grass on the other side of the bridge is the best there ever was. Why do I have to do this?
Zelgadis: Oh.. then we must go to it.
[ Backstage ]
Filia: The group of the most depressed goats in the world...
[ On stage ]
Lina: You cannot because there lives a troll beneath it.
Gourry: But I'm hungry!
Lina: I wonder if he means himself or the goat..
Zelgadis: Is.. Is there any way to get to it?
Lina: Well, I have a plan.
Xelloss: As the Little goat approaches the bridge, the troll appears.
[ Troll, as played by Ameria Wil Telsa Saillune ]
Ameria: This isn't fair! Why was I chosen for the troll??
Zelgadis: Your line, Ameria.
Ameria: .. W-Who dares.. come tapping .. on my.. bridge?
Zelgadis: I do.. I am the .. Little .. Billy Goat..
Ameria: ...
Zelgadis: *Sighs* .. Gruff.
Ameria: Oh.. look.. my dinner has--.. I can't do this! Why do I want to eat Zelgadis-san?
Zelgadis: Oh, you don't want to eat ME.. Another goat is coming this way.. much bigger than I am..
Ameria: Alright.. alright. Go on.
Zelgadis: *Walks past*
Xelloss: And the second goat approaches..
Ameria: Who dares.. come tapping on my bridge?
Gourry: Me! Um.. that other goat gruff..
Ameria: .. So you must be that goat the little one spoke of.. I.. am c-coming to eat you.. R-rawr...
Gourry: Oh, you don't want to eat me! Another goat is coming .. much bigger than me!
Ameria: Fine. Go.
Gourry: *Walks onto the bridge ... CRASH* .. Um..
[ Backstage ]
Filia: ... There goes our bridge.
Sylpheel: Poor Gourry-sama..
[ On stage ]
Xelloss: Finally, the third, Big goat--
Lina: What's the meaning of this!? Calling me bigger than Gourry!! He broke the bridge!!! What am I supposed to do to cross?! Fly? Swim?
[ Backstage ]
Martina: Lina, the flying goat! *Laughs*
[ On stage ]
Ameria: So you're the big dinner.. I've been waiting for--
Lina: BIG DINNER?!
Ameria: .. Well, it says that you're the biggest billy go--
Lina: WHO SAYS?
[ Backstage ]
Martina: That's right! Lina's ANYTHING but big! *Snickers*
[ On stage ]
Lina: *TwitchTwitchTwitchTwitchTwitchTwitchTwitch*....
Ameria: L-Lina-san?
Lina: *Mumbles something*
Gourry: Hey! Lina?
Lina: *Continues mumbling*
Xelloss: Come now, Lina-san. Have a sense of humor. *Smiles*
Ameria: *Tries resuming the play* Y-You must be the ... B-B--
[ Backstage ]
Filia: Ameria! Refrain from using the "B" word!
[ On stage ]
Ameria: *Thinks frantically as Lina continues mumbling* You must be .. the ... the .. larg-- no, .. the ..
Gourry: But, "Big"'s in the script..
Ameria: Gourry-san!!
Lina: --that you and I possess!!!
Zelgadis: LINA!
Ameria: Oh no! *Dives behind the set*
Gourry: Gah! When did she start--?!
[ Backstage ]
Martina: LINAA!! Why must you get so mad!!??
[ On stage ]
Xelloss: Oh, this is my cue to be leaving now-- *Choke* L-Lina-san?
Lina: *Grabs onto Xelloss's collar*
Xelloss: This does appear to be "The End", doesn't it?..
Gourry: But, we didn't finish the whole story yet… Lina got all mad because she's a big goat…
Everyone: GOURRY!!
Lina: DRAGON SLAAAVE!!
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Have a little fairy tale or something you'd like to see acted out by Lina and Co.? Please, let me know!
- Syaoran No Ichiban Aikousha -
