:::The Amazoness Quartet step out onto the stage:::
Jun Jun: So like this Flirtatious girl doesn't own....
Palla Palla: ....anything from.....
Cere Cere: ....Sailor Moon......
Ves Ves: ....Or the show about the Dragon Testicals!
:::Curtain Closes:::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a month or so since the first day of school, and despite their first encounter, Gohan and Usagi had actually become pretty good friends. Maybe "friends" isn't the word for it, rivals is a better one. They competed in everything. Who was strongest, who was smartest, who had the most charm, yadda, yadda, yadda.... They were much like the teenage version of Goku and Vegeta. But they liked each others company a bit more than their fathers did. Their relationship might have even been better if it wasn't for the constant interference of Videl. She would (and probably always) have that grudge against Usagi. She did anything and everything in her power to keep those two apart. But alas, all of her efforts would be in vain, for with families like theirs, keeping those two apart would be an impossibility. Such would prove like a night in late October....
"I hope you guys don't mind babysitting too much while we go out on the town," Bulma said to the unfortunate souls who had to babysit Trunks, Goten, and Marron: Usagi, Hotaru, Gohan, (and of course) Diana.
"Nooooo, we don't mind being taken hostage by two demi-Saiyans and a half-cyborg," Hotaru rolled her eyes.
"Well, even if that's sarcasm, thank you anyways. The number of the resteraunt we'll be staying at is on the fridge in case they decide to blow something up. Toodles!" Bulma said, dragging Vegeta out the door.
"Soooo, what do you kids want to do?" asked Gohan.
A twisted smile grew on Trunks' face, and within two seconds, all three kids were gone.
"We're playing hide and go seek, you know what to do," Marron's voice rang somewhere through out the house.
"How many rooms are in this house anyways?" Gohan asked Usagi.
"....about seventy-six......"
"We're screwed."
Diana stood up on a table. "Okay, okay, everything will be fine. We just need to divide and conquer. We all split up and search a floor. Whoever finds them first yells "Vegeta's hair looks like a pinecone." That can be our signal."
"Fine, fine, whatever. Diana, you and me will search floors three and four. Gohan and Odango can stay down here," said Hotaru. The gray cat and she walked up the stairs in search of the chibis.
"You know," Usa said strolling over to Gohan, "I could so find those stupid brats before you could."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah really."
"How much you wanna bet?"
"How much you got?" she said, getting in his face.
"Alright, if I win, I get your share of the babysitting money..."
"And if I win, you tell your little girlfriend to stay the Hell out of my face for a week, kapiche?"
Gohan groaned. "It's not my faut, she's just a little possessive, that's all."
"Oh? And I suppose she was just "a little possessive" when she put twenty kick me signs on me within the course of a month?"
"Usa...."
"Or when she poured the contents of an Elmer's Glue bottle in my hair."
"Alright...."
"Or that time she "accidentaly" ripped the air out of my car..."
"OKAY!!! I GET IT!!!! I'LL TELL HER TO LEAVE YOU ALONE!!!!"
They shock hands, sealing the deal, and headed off in different directions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey Trunks, do you think they know where we are yet?" asked Goten.
"Nope, but everybody keep your kis low so that they don't sense us."
"Goten, where are we?" Marron asked.
"I think we're in a closet..."
"Okay everybody, the living room is right outside this door. When I day go, we move out. 1...2...3...GO!"
The three kids peek outside and see that no one's there.
"Good, we can stay here a while until they come back," said Trunks.
They all plopped down on a big leather couch with blank faces.
"Sooooooo, what do you want to do?" asked Trunks.
" I dunno, what do you wanna do?" said Goten.
"Hey....don't start that with me...besides, I asked first!"
"Well I asked second!"
"You tryin' to start a fight?"
"Maybe!!"
"T.V.!" Marron shouted, holding up the remote control. Trunks and Goten shrug as if to say "Hell, why not?" and settle down on either side of Marron who flips on the telly.
"Ewww...not the news....all they talk about is Oframa Sim Baden," Goten groaned.
"It's Osama Bin Laden you dumbass, change the channel," Trunks sighed.
Marron nods her head and clicks the remote again.
"....Lifetime....television for women...."
"CHANGE!!"
"....I'm gonna catch you, you screwy wabbit...."
"CHANGE!!"
"....Last time...on Dragonball Z..."
"Eh...change...."
"....Do you need breast enlargements?....."
"ACK! CHANGE!!!"
".....Today on Oprah......"
"HECK NO!!! CHANGE!!!"
"....Lala...Tinklywinkly...Po...Teletubbies!...."
"NOOOO!!!! SWEAT MOTHER OF KAMI CHANGE!!!!"
"....Come on down to South Park and come meet some friends of mine...."
"My mom says this show is eeeevillll and so we have to change," Goten spoke meekly.
"Damnit Goten! This show is cool! Fuck your mom!" Trunks shouted.
"..........please?....I don't want her to kill me tonight......"
"Hmph! Fine......change it Marron...."
"Okay!" chirps Marron and pushes the button.
".....I wuv you....you wuv me......we're as happy as we-"
"AHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!! NOT THE BARNEY!!!!! GIVE ME THAT MARRON!!!"
Trunks grabbed the remote from Marron and pushed the red button about 50 times. Suddenly, the wide screen short circuts and explodes, leaving the three kids with eyes as wide as saucers.
".......Crap.....there goes my allowance......"
"Oh no! They probably heard that! Hurry! Lets go up to Hotaru's room and hide!" Goten yelled.
They all scurried as quick as they could up the stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Hotaru and Diana......
Because of the one short circut downstairs, the entire house has gone black. The two girls are at the top of the staircase.
"Oh my gosh! What happened Hotaru?" asked Diana, feeling around in the dark.
"What do you think happened? The lights went out!"
"Do you think we should go find Small Lady and Gohan?"
"Do you think we'd be able to SEE Odango and Gohan?"
"Good point. Lets go this way," Diana said, pointing her paw down the left corridor.
Hotaru cocked an eyebrow." Why? They're probably down this way," she said, pointing to the right.
"I could have sworn I heard them go down this way, c'mon."
"No, I will not "c'mon", I want to go this way, and this is where we're going!"
"See? You're always telling people what to do! You're not my boss!"
"I'm a year older than you!"
"Nuh-uh, in cat years I'm a hundred and twelve!"
"Bitch!"
"I may be a female cat, but that doesn't mean I'm a female dog, so technicly, you're incorrect...."
The two girls continued their little arguement, not noticing the three children behind them, creeping into Hotaru's room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh man, there went the lights, could this stupid night get any worse?" said Gohan.
Unfortunately, he ran straight into a closet door, causing a bowling ball on the top shelf to fall, breaking down the door, and causing Gohan to fall down the basement steps behind him.
"I had to ask, thanks a lot Dende!"
He could hear a small giggle that seemed to come from the heavens.
"Hey, just because you're the guardian of Earth doesn't mean you can laugh at me!"
The giggle exploded into full blown laughter.
"Don't make me come up there you Namek greenbean, I am not having a good day, I'll shove a Kamehameha up your ass...."
The laughter abruptly stopped.
"That's better! Now, where am I??"
He used his hands to grope his surroundings. He conked his head on a 4x4 , rendering him unconcious for a couple of seconds. He didn't know it, but he accidentaly walked into a bathroom.
"Why is everything so wet?" He triped over a stool and landed in a bathtub.
"Ummm....ow? What the Hell? Is that you Goten?" he said, feeling a loufa sponge .
"Yep! This feels like your hair alright! This ought to teach you to run off again!"
He began to attack the loufa sponge mercilessly until he realized that he was, well.....attacking a loufa sponge.....
"Well now I feel stupid. I just mistook my bath toy for my brother....damn...."
He stood up and almost slipped on the shower curtains. He felt around the bath room until he found something of particular interest.
"What's this hole?"
He stuck his head inside "the hole", you could say he wasn't pleased.
"Damn you Dende....I think my head's inside a toilet bowl......" (A/N: tee, hee, hee.....)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Chasing Chibis around in the dark...not my idea of a Saturday night....." said Usagi, who happened to be in the kitchen.
"I swear, I'm going to win this bet. I'm so gonna whip Gohan's butt.....which isn't a bad idea in itself....."she said, daydreaming to herself. But in the midst of her hentai thoughts, her forehead smacked the corner of the refrigerator.
"The cow jumped over the moon?" she muttered before completely passing out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile.......
"Gosh, Hotaru's room is huge!" said Goten looking around.
"Look, there's some flashlights on the table," Marron said.
Goten held one up under his chin. "I see dead peoples....."
"Hey, lets look throgh her stuff," said Trunks, pulling open one of her drawers.
"Why?"
"Just in case I want to blackmail her some time."
"Oh, Okay.....but I don't see why you'd want to blacken her mail....."
".....Stupid...." Trunks shook his head. "Now, lets see, what have we got here..."
He through aside some shirts and pants and pulled aside some.... uhh.....well, you'll see...
"What are these?" asked Goten.
"I dunno," said Marron.
Trunks started to unwrap one. "I know what these are! Inside these packages are these funny-shaped-balloons. I saw them in my mom and dad's room before."
"You're right, these are shaped funny," said Goten.
"I saw these in my dad's room too, only his were smaller," said Marron blowing into one.
Trunks read the package. "What's a Trojan Man?"
"A man that's from Troy I guess," sighed Goten.
"Hmph."
While the boys were debating about the word Trojan, Marron continued blowing into the condom.
Goten noticed her."You know Marron, you should really stop blowing into that thing before it-"
(pop!)
"Maybe we should just put these away..." said Marron, scooting them under the bed.
"'Kay, lets see what else we got here..."said Trunks scrambling around in the drawer. (A/N: Now this part is kinda nas-tay...)
"What's this?" asked Trunks, pulling out a-a.....(???)
"Push the button Trunks," said Goten. Trunks did so, but soon regretted it. He threw it down on the floor.
"Oh my God! It's vibrating!"
"Ewww....it's in the shape of a..."
"We know Goten...."
"But it looks like a--"
"We know what it looks like Goten!"
"Seriously, it looks like--"
"ALRIGHT!! IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK!! WE KNOW!!!"
".......Actually, I was going to say it looked like a pickle....."
"That's just wrong! Put it away!" yelled Marron.
"Gladly," muttered Trunks setting it aside.
"I'm kinda afraid of what you'll pull out next," said Goten, edging towards Marron.
"Oh, stop being such a baby Goten, lets see, what's this?" His face flushed the same color of his sister's hair.
"Tee,hee,hee, Trunks is holding Hotaru's undies," giggled Marron.
Trunks looked at the tag stapled on the side. It read "edible. " He smirked and looked at Goten.
"Hey Goten, I dare you to eat some of this."
"No! That's even grosser than the pickle-thingy."
"Nuh-uh, it's edible, that means your suppose to eat it."
"Really? What does it taste like?"
"How should I know? A bag of Doritos for all I care!"
"Doritos? OKAY!!!" said Goten, grabbing the panties out of his hand and gobbling them up.
"Uhhh, so how do they taste?" asked Marron.
"Like cotton candy!!"
"Really? Maybe I should try some..." Trunks said, nibbling on another pair.
Marron watched the two hungry half-Saiyans all of the underwear in less than a minute. They looked like they stil nwanted more....
"Guys, why are you looking at me like that?"
"Marron, what kind of underwear are you wearing?" asked Trunks.
Marron's eyes widened . "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!AAAAHHHHH!!!!" and she ran screaming out of Hotaru's room.
"Get her!" and both boys ran after her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back to the fire fly and cat-thing........
"I say we go this way!"
"No! We go this way!"
"NO! This way--"
Suddenly the three children came bursting from Hotaru's room.
"AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed Marron.
"PANTIES!!!!!" yelled Trunks and Goten like a tribe of Indians.
All three of them ran down the stairs.
"THE HELL?!?!?!" Hotaru and Diana said in unison with faces like this:@_@
"Oh yeah , the signal! VEGETA'S HAIR LOOKS LIKE A PINE CONE!!!!" yelled Diana, running down the stairs after them.
"Wait for me!" said Hotaru following them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the Riceboy......( A/N: 'ya know, Gohan.)
"Vegeta's hair looks like a pine cone? Oh, the signal, I almost forgot," Gohan said, getting his head out of the toilet bowl.
"Now, lets see, where is she yelling from?"
All of a sudden, the lights flickered back on.
"Oh good, now I can see! I think she was yelling from the kitchen..."
Where, if you can remember, Usagi is still sprawled on the kitchen floor, out cold.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You kids get back here! You're in big trouble!" yelled Hotaru, still chasing the kids. The boys were still screaming about panties, and Marron was still screaming her little heart out. Somehow, they all managed to carry the great race into the kitchen, where the boys stopped chasing Marron, and set their sights on Trunks' unconcious sister.
"Panties!"
Before Hotaru and Diana could get to them, Trunks and Goten had yanked off Usagi's jeans, only to find that they were normal, cotton, bunny-printed panties. It was right abot then when Gohan marched up from the bathroom, soaking wet. To see his little brother and his friend crouched over his rival-who was only in her underwear-was certainly a displeasind sight. But the thing that really caught his concern was that she was unconcious, and for some unknown reason , not breathing.
"What happened?!? Why isn't she moving?!?"
"Well, we were trying to eat her underwear, so we don't really know..."Goten said.
"...........I'm not even going to ask........."
"It's a long story....."
"Well, she isn't breathing, and it would take us to long to get her to a hospital, so someone's got to perform C.P.R. on her."
The room was silent.
Gohan sighed. "Fine, I'll do it, move out of the way."
The group cleared a circle for him, and he kneeled over her. He tryed to keep his mind on something else besides Usagi, due to the fact that she was only in her underwear, and it was making him very, very, very,(A/N: Very X infinity) horny.
You have a girlfriend, you have a girlfriend, you have a girlfriend......
He closed his eyes and quickly pressed his lips to hers, breathing air into her lungs. He counted to four, and pressed down on the center of her chest. He pressed his lips to her again, only this time her eyes began to flutter open.
I hope this isn't cheating on Videl...
Speakin' of the devil(A/N: When you rearrange the letters in Videl, you get the word Devil, get it? Never mind....-_-;;) guess who opened the back door.
"I was driving by your house, when I saw the lights flickering on and off, and I decided to come in and see if everything's alright, because I heard Gohan was babysitting tonight and....." her voice trailed off as she caught a glimpse of her steady boyfriend ina liplock with one of her most hated enemies, who also happened to be half-naked.
Usagi, who was now awake, broke the kiss, and looked up at Videl, who looked like she was on the verge of murder. She looked back at Gohan, who was blushing so badly, he could have been sold off as a tomato.
"Gohan, as much as I like this position we're in, we are so very screwed....."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To Be Continued...............
