~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~The Luggage~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Standard disclaimers apply...
The Luggage. It's a mystery as old as time, and just as viscous in
the morning. The Luggage defies explanation, or even description.
The best anyone can do is 'a big chest with lots of little legs, sort
of like a centipede, but not'. Oh, and 'a being with a big temper
with a stomach to match'.
You know how some dog's bark is worse than their bite? Well the
Luggage has just eaten all the dogs in the world and is seriously
considering cats for desert. Its loyal though, hell its as clingy as
an attention starved girl friend, but, if you look deeper, past the
layers of blood and extra pairs of socks, you'll find a sensitive side
to our beloved Luggage. Something in is wants to be loved and adored.
Something in it wants to be cautiously pat on the head with a ten foot
pole and told that it does its job well.
And it does. Some pieces of luggage are inconsiderate enough to lose
themselves on planes bound for Africa, or to get themselves picked up
by a greedy stranger in a ski mask, but not the Luggage. The Luggage
is the King of all Luggage. If there was Luggage Olympics it would
kick all the other luggage's flower upholstered asses.
I mean, come on, Sapient Pearwood just doesn't get any cooler. So
gather round everyone, lets put our hands together for the Luggage,
Discworld's most beloved carry on. And don't worry, if he takes an
arm off of Little Suzie its all done out of affection, affection and
the kind of hunger that follows the realization that cats leave the
worst aftertaste imaginable...
~Kei
Standard disclaimers apply...
The Luggage. It's a mystery as old as time, and just as viscous in
the morning. The Luggage defies explanation, or even description.
The best anyone can do is 'a big chest with lots of little legs, sort
of like a centipede, but not'. Oh, and 'a being with a big temper
with a stomach to match'.
You know how some dog's bark is worse than their bite? Well the
Luggage has just eaten all the dogs in the world and is seriously
considering cats for desert. Its loyal though, hell its as clingy as
an attention starved girl friend, but, if you look deeper, past the
layers of blood and extra pairs of socks, you'll find a sensitive side
to our beloved Luggage. Something in is wants to be loved and adored.
Something in it wants to be cautiously pat on the head with a ten foot
pole and told that it does its job well.
And it does. Some pieces of luggage are inconsiderate enough to lose
themselves on planes bound for Africa, or to get themselves picked up
by a greedy stranger in a ski mask, but not the Luggage. The Luggage
is the King of all Luggage. If there was Luggage Olympics it would
kick all the other luggage's flower upholstered asses.
I mean, come on, Sapient Pearwood just doesn't get any cooler. So
gather round everyone, lets put our hands together for the Luggage,
Discworld's most beloved carry on. And don't worry, if he takes an
arm off of Little Suzie its all done out of affection, affection and
the kind of hunger that follows the realization that cats leave the
worst aftertaste imaginable...
~Kei
