Truth Unknown (part 5)
Okay, for those of you who didn't want to read the NC-17 rated chapter 4, basically C&M tried to have sex, but neither of them could go through with it.
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Chandler wasn't sure how he was supposed to act. Monica had been awkward around him all day, which he hated, but he knew it wasn't her fault. Shay had seemed very uncomfortable, noticing the tension between her parents, but not daring to ask why, since Monica had already burst into tears during breakfast and when Chandler tried to kiss her goodbye before he took Beth to a birthday party.
Shay approached Monica while she was cooking lunch. Monica seemed very concentrated, and jumped so much when Shay said hi, that she cut her finger instead of the potatoes she was peeling. Cursing under her breath, she ran her hand under the tap, even though she barely felt the pain.
"Shay, you nearly gave me a heart attack," she said.
"Sorry Mom, I thought you heard me come in," Shay said awkwardly.
"Well I didn't," Monica snapped. Shay looked away. Monica sighed and turned off the tap, reaching for a towel to dry her hands. "Sorry honey. I'm just a little on edge right now."
"How come?"
"No particular reason," she lied.
"I'm not stupid, Mom," Shay said, annoyed that her mother way lying to her.
"I know Shay. But there are some things that you wouldn't understand, so there's no point burdening you with them."
"Like what? What wouldn't I understand?" Shay demanded.
"Honey, please," Monica begged.
"Are you and Dad getting divorced?" Shay asked, afraid that was what they were hiding from her?
"What? No, of course not," Monica assured her daughter.
"So what is it?"
"Honey, please don't ask me to tell you. I can't, I really can't. But its nothing to do with you, or Beth, or your father, okay?"
"Whatever," Shay mumbled and stalked out of the kitchen. Of course it wasn't okay! How come grown ups always avoided telling the truth by saying you wouldnt' understand?
Chandler came home about ten minutes later. Beth would be gone for the afternoon, and he was hoping he would be able to talk Shay into going out as well, so he could get some time alone with Monica, to talk to her. Not neccessarily about last night, but just in general. But his plans were ruined when Shay came in, apparantly in a whining mood.
"Dad, are you and Mom getting divorced?" she asked as soon as she saw him, not even saying hello.
"Hello to you too," chandler said. "And no, of course we're not getting divorced. Where on earth did you get that idea?" he asked, trying to be casual, but frantically wondering what Monica had said or done.
"Nowhere," Shay said unconvincingly.
"Shay, what's the matter?" Chandler asked.
"Its just Mom was acting weird," she said. Chandler sighed. He should have known the kids would figure out something was wrong sooner or later, Monica couldn't hide it from them.
"Look honey," he started, but was interrupted by a shout from the kitchen.
"Shit!!" Monica said loudly. Shay grinned at hearing her Mom swear, Chandler glared at her, then hurried into the kitchen. Monica was standing there, staring at the ruined lunch, now a mess on the floor. She was clutching her arm, which was already turning red.
"Mon, what happened?" Chandler asked, grabbing her and shoving her arm roughly under the tap, which he turned on, sending a cold stream of water of Monica's burnt arm. She jumped away from his rough touch, but he wouldn't let her. She was painfully aware of his body pressed close to hers, not so close that it would turn either of them on, but close enough to remind her of the previous night.
"I dropped lunch, that's all," she said tearfully. She felt like ruining the dinner was just another sign that she couldn't cope, that she was falling to pieces. Chandler rested his chin on her shoulder.
"Yeah, that's all," he whispered, so Shay, who was now standing in the doorway, couldn't hear. "And no one's mad, and no one thinks this is a sign of anything. Its just lunch. Its just an accident. Okay?" he said gently. Monica bit her lip and nodded.
"What are we gonna eat now?" Shay asked.
"We'll order pizza," Chandler said, still hugging Monica from behind and holding her arm under the tap. "Shay, honey, mind the tray, its hot," he warned, as Shay started towards them.
"Relax Dad, I'm just getting the pizza place menus," she said.
"Okay, could you please go look at them in the living room, while I clear up this mess?" he asked. Shay gave him a funny look, but did as he asked.
"I'm sorry Chandler," Monica said, crying. Her arm hurt, and she felt bad about ruining lunch, as well as still feeling upset and shaky about last night, as well as the rape itself.
"If you say sorry one more time, I swear, I'll scream," Chandler teased. "Now, keep your arm there," he instructed, letting go of her and starting to clear up the mess on the floor. Monica turned away and stared at the wall above the sink. She had tears in her eyes, which she didn't want Chandler to see. She felt stupid for crying. It was no big deal. But she couldnt' help it.
Fifteen minutes later, the floor was wiped and Monica's arm had gone numb. Chandler had told her to keep it under the water for as long as possible. Chandler hugged her again, not knowing what else to do. She leaned against him, without trembling, and welcomed his arms around her.
"How's your arm feeling?" he asked.
"Its not," she said, "I can't feel it at all."
"Let me have a look," Chandler said, turning off the water and bringing her arm over to him so he could look at it closely. Monica winced as he gently held it, not because she was scared, but because it stung. Her arm was very red, and obviously painfull, but Chandler didn't think there was much point in letting her sit with it in the sink all day. "I think you'll live," he told her, smiling.
"Oh good," Monica said, pretending to be relieved.
"I think there's a burns dressing upstairs, I'll have a look," Chandler said. Monica followed him out of the kitchen, although she waited in the living room with Shay.
"I decided what pizza I want," Shay announced.
"Okay honey, just hang on a minute," Chandler called, from halfway up the stairs.
"'Kay," shay agreed. "God, Mom, what happened? You look like you're gonna throw up or faint or something?" she said, looking at her mother's pale face in shock.
"I'm okay honey," she said, although she did feel a little shaky.
Chandler reappeared holding the dressing. He fixed it on her arm, hating to see her in pain. He kissed the top of her head when he was done. Monica smiled and let his arms linger around her, knowing he was only hugging her as a friend.
"Ahem! Pizza?" Shay reminded them.
"Monica, are you sure you didn't sleep with Joey? Coz i'm sure Shay's his daughter, not mine!" Chandler joked. Monica chuckled.
"And you've never nagged for pizza, I suppose?" she teased.
"Of course not!" Chandler claimed innocently.
While they were eating, Monica was almost able to forget the rape. It was easier to focus on the painful burn on her arm than the deep down emotional scars of the rape. The burn was something physical, that would probably leave a visible scar, the only scars she'd have of the rape, once her bruises healed would be in her head. Chandler guessed some of what she was thinking by the way she kept staring at the dressing.
"You okay?" he asked softly when Shay was in the, now clean kitchen getting another drink.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Never felt better," Monica said sarcastically. She sighed. "Chandler, now is not the time to discuss this."
"Well when can we? I know this is hard for you, but we have to talk about it some time. We usually talk about stuff like this in bed, but after last night..." Chandler trailed off, realising that the last thing Monica needed right now was to be reminded of last night. And he wasn't so keen on thinking about it either. Monica didn't get a chance to answer, as Shay came back in.
"I have a headache, I'm going to lie down," Monica said stiffly. Chandler sighed.
"Mon," he said pleadingly, begging her with his eyes to let him in on how she was feeling.
"Goodnight Shay, 'night Chandler," she said, ignoring Chandler's plea and walking out.
"What's up with her?" Shay asked, raising her eyebrows. She thought maybe her parents had had a fight, but wouldn't she have heard them shouting? And she hadn't been long enough for them to have got really mad at each other.
"You're Mom's just having a hard time right now," Chandler said.
"Dad! Would you please just tell me what the hells going on? I'm eleven! I'm not a little kid!" Shay argued.
"Shay, honey, this is different. Anyway, its not really my 'thing' to tell you," he said, hoping he wasn't landing Monica in it for another question round.
"She's not pregnant is she?" Shay asked suspiciously.
"No!" Chandler said a little more forcefully than he had intended. Shit, he hadn't thought about the possibility that Monica could be pregnant, or have some disease or something!
"Chill Dad, I was just asking," Shay said, a little startled by his reaction.
"Sorry honey."
"Dad, whats the matter? Are you guys fighting or something?"
"No honey, everything between your mother and me is absolutely fine," he said dully, knowing full well everything wasn't fine.
"Dad," Shay said, letting him know she didn't believe him.
"Okay, okay, but Shay, honey, promise me you won't tell your Mom I told you?"
"Of course not," Shay promised, wondering what could be so serious.
"Well, when she was coming home from Open House, she was attacked."
"Oh my God!" Shay gasped. Chandler pulled her onto the couch next to him.
"I know. Anyway, she had her bag stolen, and," he took a deep breath, praying Shay would understand the concept of rape because he really didn't feel like having to explain it. "She was raped." Shay looked confused. "Honey, do you know what that means?"
"I think its something to do with sex, right?" Shay asked uncertainly.
"Yeah, it is. It means a guy she didn't know forced her to have sex with him," he explained as simply as possible, using the definition that best matched their situation, rather than a more complicated one.
"She didn't want to?" Shay asked, still confused.
"No. That's why she's on edge right now. It made her really nervous," Chandler said.
"Why?"
"Um, I, uh," he said, groping for an explanation. He had accepted until now that Monica had every reason in the world to act the way she was, so why couldnt' he explain that simply to Shay? "Well, I'm not totally sure. But please don't bug her about it, because its perfectly normal in this situation for her to feel like that."
"I won't," shay promised quietly. She still didn't really get it. Some guy had forced her Mom to have sex with her, when she didn't want to. And that had made her act strange? "Are you gonna tell Mom you told me?" she asked.
"I dont' know," he said thoughtfully. He knew Monica didn't want anyone to know, but surely she'd rather he told Shay the truth than let her worry that her parents were getting divorced or something.
"Think about it," Shay advised, repeating the advice she always seemed to be given when she wasn't sure about something. Chandler smiled and kissed her cheek.
"Thanks honey."
"Can I go out and call for Jessica now?" Shay asked, jumping to her feet. She wanted to get out of the house, which suddenly seemed shrouded in secrecy, lies, hurt and something else that she didn't really understand.
"Sure. Remember what I said about not telling anyone?"
"Yeah. Dad, that's what Robyn's dad told her when he hit her. Is rape bad like that?" she asked.
"Kind of. But me asking you to keep it a secret isn't. I just don't want your Mom to feel like everybody knows. She's still very mixed up about it."
"Okay. See ya!" Shay called, grabbing her coat and hurrying out. Chandler watched her go. He wondered if he was right to burden her like that. She obviously didn't really understand anymore than the most basic aspects, but she would have felt worse not knowing.
"Bye," he called as the front door slammed shut.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna rip off Ashlee's series and have Monica pregnant. Please review. :)
Okay, for those of you who didn't want to read the NC-17 rated chapter 4, basically C&M tried to have sex, but neither of them could go through with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chandler wasn't sure how he was supposed to act. Monica had been awkward around him all day, which he hated, but he knew it wasn't her fault. Shay had seemed very uncomfortable, noticing the tension between her parents, but not daring to ask why, since Monica had already burst into tears during breakfast and when Chandler tried to kiss her goodbye before he took Beth to a birthday party.
Shay approached Monica while she was cooking lunch. Monica seemed very concentrated, and jumped so much when Shay said hi, that she cut her finger instead of the potatoes she was peeling. Cursing under her breath, she ran her hand under the tap, even though she barely felt the pain.
"Shay, you nearly gave me a heart attack," she said.
"Sorry Mom, I thought you heard me come in," Shay said awkwardly.
"Well I didn't," Monica snapped. Shay looked away. Monica sighed and turned off the tap, reaching for a towel to dry her hands. "Sorry honey. I'm just a little on edge right now."
"How come?"
"No particular reason," she lied.
"I'm not stupid, Mom," Shay said, annoyed that her mother way lying to her.
"I know Shay. But there are some things that you wouldn't understand, so there's no point burdening you with them."
"Like what? What wouldn't I understand?" Shay demanded.
"Honey, please," Monica begged.
"Are you and Dad getting divorced?" Shay asked, afraid that was what they were hiding from her?
"What? No, of course not," Monica assured her daughter.
"So what is it?"
"Honey, please don't ask me to tell you. I can't, I really can't. But its nothing to do with you, or Beth, or your father, okay?"
"Whatever," Shay mumbled and stalked out of the kitchen. Of course it wasn't okay! How come grown ups always avoided telling the truth by saying you wouldnt' understand?
Chandler came home about ten minutes later. Beth would be gone for the afternoon, and he was hoping he would be able to talk Shay into going out as well, so he could get some time alone with Monica, to talk to her. Not neccessarily about last night, but just in general. But his plans were ruined when Shay came in, apparantly in a whining mood.
"Dad, are you and Mom getting divorced?" she asked as soon as she saw him, not even saying hello.
"Hello to you too," chandler said. "And no, of course we're not getting divorced. Where on earth did you get that idea?" he asked, trying to be casual, but frantically wondering what Monica had said or done.
"Nowhere," Shay said unconvincingly.
"Shay, what's the matter?" Chandler asked.
"Its just Mom was acting weird," she said. Chandler sighed. He should have known the kids would figure out something was wrong sooner or later, Monica couldn't hide it from them.
"Look honey," he started, but was interrupted by a shout from the kitchen.
"Shit!!" Monica said loudly. Shay grinned at hearing her Mom swear, Chandler glared at her, then hurried into the kitchen. Monica was standing there, staring at the ruined lunch, now a mess on the floor. She was clutching her arm, which was already turning red.
"Mon, what happened?" Chandler asked, grabbing her and shoving her arm roughly under the tap, which he turned on, sending a cold stream of water of Monica's burnt arm. She jumped away from his rough touch, but he wouldn't let her. She was painfully aware of his body pressed close to hers, not so close that it would turn either of them on, but close enough to remind her of the previous night.
"I dropped lunch, that's all," she said tearfully. She felt like ruining the dinner was just another sign that she couldn't cope, that she was falling to pieces. Chandler rested his chin on her shoulder.
"Yeah, that's all," he whispered, so Shay, who was now standing in the doorway, couldn't hear. "And no one's mad, and no one thinks this is a sign of anything. Its just lunch. Its just an accident. Okay?" he said gently. Monica bit her lip and nodded.
"What are we gonna eat now?" Shay asked.
"We'll order pizza," Chandler said, still hugging Monica from behind and holding her arm under the tap. "Shay, honey, mind the tray, its hot," he warned, as Shay started towards them.
"Relax Dad, I'm just getting the pizza place menus," she said.
"Okay, could you please go look at them in the living room, while I clear up this mess?" he asked. Shay gave him a funny look, but did as he asked.
"I'm sorry Chandler," Monica said, crying. Her arm hurt, and she felt bad about ruining lunch, as well as still feeling upset and shaky about last night, as well as the rape itself.
"If you say sorry one more time, I swear, I'll scream," Chandler teased. "Now, keep your arm there," he instructed, letting go of her and starting to clear up the mess on the floor. Monica turned away and stared at the wall above the sink. She had tears in her eyes, which she didn't want Chandler to see. She felt stupid for crying. It was no big deal. But she couldnt' help it.
Fifteen minutes later, the floor was wiped and Monica's arm had gone numb. Chandler had told her to keep it under the water for as long as possible. Chandler hugged her again, not knowing what else to do. She leaned against him, without trembling, and welcomed his arms around her.
"How's your arm feeling?" he asked.
"Its not," she said, "I can't feel it at all."
"Let me have a look," Chandler said, turning off the water and bringing her arm over to him so he could look at it closely. Monica winced as he gently held it, not because she was scared, but because it stung. Her arm was very red, and obviously painfull, but Chandler didn't think there was much point in letting her sit with it in the sink all day. "I think you'll live," he told her, smiling.
"Oh good," Monica said, pretending to be relieved.
"I think there's a burns dressing upstairs, I'll have a look," Chandler said. Monica followed him out of the kitchen, although she waited in the living room with Shay.
"I decided what pizza I want," Shay announced.
"Okay honey, just hang on a minute," Chandler called, from halfway up the stairs.
"'Kay," shay agreed. "God, Mom, what happened? You look like you're gonna throw up or faint or something?" she said, looking at her mother's pale face in shock.
"I'm okay honey," she said, although she did feel a little shaky.
Chandler reappeared holding the dressing. He fixed it on her arm, hating to see her in pain. He kissed the top of her head when he was done. Monica smiled and let his arms linger around her, knowing he was only hugging her as a friend.
"Ahem! Pizza?" Shay reminded them.
"Monica, are you sure you didn't sleep with Joey? Coz i'm sure Shay's his daughter, not mine!" Chandler joked. Monica chuckled.
"And you've never nagged for pizza, I suppose?" she teased.
"Of course not!" Chandler claimed innocently.
While they were eating, Monica was almost able to forget the rape. It was easier to focus on the painful burn on her arm than the deep down emotional scars of the rape. The burn was something physical, that would probably leave a visible scar, the only scars she'd have of the rape, once her bruises healed would be in her head. Chandler guessed some of what she was thinking by the way she kept staring at the dressing.
"You okay?" he asked softly when Shay was in the, now clean kitchen getting another drink.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Never felt better," Monica said sarcastically. She sighed. "Chandler, now is not the time to discuss this."
"Well when can we? I know this is hard for you, but we have to talk about it some time. We usually talk about stuff like this in bed, but after last night..." Chandler trailed off, realising that the last thing Monica needed right now was to be reminded of last night. And he wasn't so keen on thinking about it either. Monica didn't get a chance to answer, as Shay came back in.
"I have a headache, I'm going to lie down," Monica said stiffly. Chandler sighed.
"Mon," he said pleadingly, begging her with his eyes to let him in on how she was feeling.
"Goodnight Shay, 'night Chandler," she said, ignoring Chandler's plea and walking out.
"What's up with her?" Shay asked, raising her eyebrows. She thought maybe her parents had had a fight, but wouldn't she have heard them shouting? And she hadn't been long enough for them to have got really mad at each other.
"You're Mom's just having a hard time right now," Chandler said.
"Dad! Would you please just tell me what the hells going on? I'm eleven! I'm not a little kid!" Shay argued.
"Shay, honey, this is different. Anyway, its not really my 'thing' to tell you," he said, hoping he wasn't landing Monica in it for another question round.
"She's not pregnant is she?" Shay asked suspiciously.
"No!" Chandler said a little more forcefully than he had intended. Shit, he hadn't thought about the possibility that Monica could be pregnant, or have some disease or something!
"Chill Dad, I was just asking," Shay said, a little startled by his reaction.
"Sorry honey."
"Dad, whats the matter? Are you guys fighting or something?"
"No honey, everything between your mother and me is absolutely fine," he said dully, knowing full well everything wasn't fine.
"Dad," Shay said, letting him know she didn't believe him.
"Okay, okay, but Shay, honey, promise me you won't tell your Mom I told you?"
"Of course not," Shay promised, wondering what could be so serious.
"Well, when she was coming home from Open House, she was attacked."
"Oh my God!" Shay gasped. Chandler pulled her onto the couch next to him.
"I know. Anyway, she had her bag stolen, and," he took a deep breath, praying Shay would understand the concept of rape because he really didn't feel like having to explain it. "She was raped." Shay looked confused. "Honey, do you know what that means?"
"I think its something to do with sex, right?" Shay asked uncertainly.
"Yeah, it is. It means a guy she didn't know forced her to have sex with him," he explained as simply as possible, using the definition that best matched their situation, rather than a more complicated one.
"She didn't want to?" Shay asked, still confused.
"No. That's why she's on edge right now. It made her really nervous," Chandler said.
"Why?"
"Um, I, uh," he said, groping for an explanation. He had accepted until now that Monica had every reason in the world to act the way she was, so why couldnt' he explain that simply to Shay? "Well, I'm not totally sure. But please don't bug her about it, because its perfectly normal in this situation for her to feel like that."
"I won't," shay promised quietly. She still didn't really get it. Some guy had forced her Mom to have sex with her, when she didn't want to. And that had made her act strange? "Are you gonna tell Mom you told me?" she asked.
"I dont' know," he said thoughtfully. He knew Monica didn't want anyone to know, but surely she'd rather he told Shay the truth than let her worry that her parents were getting divorced or something.
"Think about it," Shay advised, repeating the advice she always seemed to be given when she wasn't sure about something. Chandler smiled and kissed her cheek.
"Thanks honey."
"Can I go out and call for Jessica now?" Shay asked, jumping to her feet. She wanted to get out of the house, which suddenly seemed shrouded in secrecy, lies, hurt and something else that she didn't really understand.
"Sure. Remember what I said about not telling anyone?"
"Yeah. Dad, that's what Robyn's dad told her when he hit her. Is rape bad like that?" she asked.
"Kind of. But me asking you to keep it a secret isn't. I just don't want your Mom to feel like everybody knows. She's still very mixed up about it."
"Okay. See ya!" Shay called, grabbing her coat and hurrying out. Chandler watched her go. He wondered if he was right to burden her like that. She obviously didn't really understand anymore than the most basic aspects, but she would have felt worse not knowing.
"Bye," he called as the front door slammed shut.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna rip off Ashlee's series and have Monica pregnant. Please review. :)
