Rocky Start

Have you ever tried to stop a bad habit? If you have it's really hard to do. However, this little story is about me, Lyndsey, trying to stop a bad habit that could effect my life forever...

I started hurting myself in about fourth grade. I did not know if it was bad or not. Nevertheless, I was still very scared what would happen if I did something, I would regret. I mean all I was doing to hurt myself was throwing myself against the walls, falling down the stairs and many other harmful things to my body. I never did understand why God didn't help me stop; it's like he let me do this to myself. But, I am so glad that I told my friend, Marie. She helped me with everything; she was like my big sister. Marie got me help the next day at school. At first, I wasn't comfortable with it, but later I began to realize that she did the right thing. If Marie wouldn't have told the counselor, I would still be doing something I know I should not do. But thanks to my friend, I am getting the help I need. I am getting better at talking to people again.

This incident really did change my life. What I thought about this was "what would happen if I didn't tell anyone? What would become of me?" Hurting myself soon became a really big habit, I did this every day when no one was home. So every day I kept doing the exact thing repeatedly.

My friends really motivated me to stop, they knew if I didn't I wouldn't be around much longer. Marie always said "Lynds, you got to stop. You don't know what could happen next. I mean you could be in your room with a knife in your hand. But promise me you will try to stop or at least cutback. Or else I will kick your butt." In addition, I would like to thank Mischa, Rocky, Rebecca and Christin for just being by me side, and just letting me talk about how I felt about this.

I still have mixed feelings about what I did, and why it actually started. I really don't remember when it started or why. But that's one thing I want to find out. If I didn't have as good friends as I do know, I don't know what I would do.

I would like to thank Marie again; she has been everything to me. She is always asking, "are you doing better?" I am still having a hard time, I really think recovering from this incident will be hard. But God has given me the courage to succeed, and thats what I'm going to do.