Home Sweet Home?
Aeryn and John took her prowler down to a planet called Twilight. D'Argo and Chiana were given the care of Tyren while they were down on the planet.
The ride was a silent one. Aeryn didn't have the emotional fortitude to say anything. Crichton didn't want to push her. He understood how difficult that was going to be for her. They contacted a woman called Zoron as they approached. She told them to land outside the city and walk in. The path would be evident (Zoron's words). Aeryn landed the prowler.
When they stepped out John was amazed by the sunlight and the beautiful surrounding scenery. There were trees that were so tall they look like they touch the bluish sky. When they walked through a grove of trees they came out in an open meadow with green grass laid out in front of them like an ocean leading to the city.
John: "It is like mecca."
Aeryn: "What?"
John: "It is much like Earth. Like a beautiful countryside."
Aeryn looked around.
Aeryn: "It is quite beautiful."
John saw a lake.
John: "Aeryn look at this."
She followed him. He was standing by the lakeside with a kool-aid smile pasted on his face. She was staring at him.
John: "What?"
Aeryn: "Nothing you just look euphoric."
John: "It is amazing. Living on Earth you just don't believe that there are places out there that exist like this."
Aeryn kneeled down and ran her fingers through the water of the lake. John looked down at her. He kneeled beside her.
John: "Aeryn?"
She looked up at him. There were conflicting looks in her eyes. Joy that Tyren could have a good life on this planet and pain that she would probably never see her son again. Crichton touched her cheek.
John: "Lets go meet Zoron."
He stood up and held out his hand. She slipped her hand in his. They walked along the path to the city.
*****
The colony on Twilight was a group of about 200 Sebeceans including men, women, and children. They looked happy in their lives. Zoron was an older Sebecean and was considered to be the elder in the colony. She was very pleasant and answered all of Aeryn's questions regarding the colony and Tyren's place there. She understood their apprehension and invited them to stay overnight.
Aeryn and John walked around the colony and talked to some of the people. It seemed like the ideal community to John. Aeryn's cynical side was overruling her logic side but that was to be expected if she was going to leave her son with these Sebeceans.
After dinner Aeryn wondered off alone. The stars were bright in the sky. Aeryn went for a walk by the lake. She had checked in with D'Argo. Tyren was fine. He and Chiana were playing in the lower tiers. John found Aeryn sitting by the lake staring at the water. He sat beside her shoulder to shoulder.
John: "This seems like a great place. Tyren will fit in well here."
Aeryn: "May be I can too."
John looked at her. She didn't make eye contact with him.
John: "You are thinking about leaving Moya?"
Aeryn: "I didn't get before. When you talked about emotions and being soft sometimes, I didn't get it until Joh…."
John: "Until the other John died?"
Aeryn: "Yes. Losing him was such a shock to my system. I almost lost myself completely in my grief. I saved myself by reverting back to the only way I knew."
John: "Peacekeeper coldness."
Aeryn: "Call it what you want. It worked for me for many cycles. But this is different, I know now what you meant by a mother bonding with her child. I can feel him inside of me. I can see my future in his eyes. I find peace in his smile and joy in his laughter."
John: "You love him. That is what happens when you have a child. You love them more than you thought that you could ever love anything in your life. They become all you think about and all you live for."
Aeryn: "How do I let that go? How do I leave him with strangers?"
John held her hand.
John: "I don't know how to answer that. It is different for me. By the time my daughter actually comes into this world, I will be 80 cycles older. I will never know her but I am in love with the idea of her. At least you have gotten to know Tyren and you can always come back here and see him. So that you can see the superior man he is going to become."
Aeryn: "How much are you expected to lose in one lifetime? I lost John, I lost my mother, and now my son. How do you humans keep your heart from closing down? How do you keep reaching out?"
John: "It is part of being human. We need that contact. That connection with another person."
She looked out at the water.
Aeryn: "I am sorry John."
He looked at her.
John: "For what?"
Aeryn: "For putting you through all that pain when I returned to Moya. If I made you feel anything like I felt when I lost John or like I feel now…"
She looked in his eyes.
Aeryn: "I am sorrier than I will ever be able to express."
He touched her cheek. He leaned in and softly kissed her cheek.
John: "Don't worry about that now. You have to talk to Tyren."
Aeryn: "Would you talk to him with me?"
He slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. She laid her head on his shoulder.
John: "Of course, I love him like he were my own."
She lifted her head and kissed his cheek. She laid her head back on his shoulder.
*****
Before leaving the planet to return to Moya, Aeryn made arrangements for Tyren with Zoron. She used a majority of her cut from the shadow depositary heist to make sure he didn't want for anything. Tyren was going to be staying with Zoron.
When Aeryn and John docked back on Moya, Tyren was there to greet them in the docking bay. When Aeryn came off the prowler, Tyren ran to her. She scooped him up in her arms and hugged her around the neck.
Tyren: "Aeryn, I missed you. I woke up last night looking for you."
Aeryn looked over his shoulder at John. John was rubbing Tyren's back. He touched Aeryn's hand.
John: "Your okay little partner."
Tyren looked at John. He smiled at him.
Tyren: "Can I get that back ride again?"
John: "Horseback ride..climb on."
John turned his back. Tyren climbed out of Aeryn's arms onto John's back. Tyren was laughing.
John: "Where to little partner?"
Tyren: "Lets go see Pilot."
John: "Pilot it is."
John galloped out of the room. Tyren's laughter filled the passageways of Moya. Aeryn waited until they were gone. She dropped to her knees and started crying. She couldn't stop. It felt like her heart was going to explode in her chest. D'Argo came in and found her. He went over and kneeled beside her.
D'Argo: "Aeryn, you have to be strong now for Tyren."
Aeryn: "I feel like I am going to die D'Argo."
D'Argo: "But your not going to die and Tyren is going to live an amazing life on Twilight."
She looked up at him. D'Argo stood up slowly and pulled Aeryn to her feet.
*****
After the meal Crichton and Aeryn sat with Tyren out on the terrace. Tyren was lying on his stomach making a star chart like John showed him. Aeryn and John were sitting near him. Aeryn was just watching him. John touched her hand.
Aeryn: "Tyren, could you come here? We want to talk to you about something."
Tyren got up and went over to where they were. He sat on John's lap. Aeryn was holding his little hands in hers.
Aeryn: "Do you remember when we talked about finding a planet where you could be safe from the peacekeepers? A place that has a lake, sunshine, and fishing like John told you about."
Tyren: "Yes."
Aeryn: "We found the planet. It is called Twilight."
Tyren: "Is that where you were before?"
Aeryn looked at John.
John: "Yes and it has everything that I told you about and more. It has other kids that you can play with. There is this great lady there named Zoron and she wants you to come live with her."
Tyren: "But I want to live here with you and Aeryn. I want you to be my mom and dad."
Tyren was staring at John. Aeryn lowered her eyes. John reached around and laid his hand on her back.
John: "In everyway that matters, we are your mom and dad. We love you and we want you to be safe. You can't be safe on Moya."
Tyren looked at Aeryn. She smiled slightly at him.
Tyren: "Will you come visit me?"
Aeryn: "So much that you will get tired of seeing us."
He slipped off John's lap and wrapped his arms around Aeryn's neck. She held him close to her. She fought her tears back. John touched Tyren's back.
John: "Tomorrow we are going to all take you down and I am going to show you how to fish, like I promised."
Tyren looked over his shoulder and smiled.
*****
The next solar day John, Aeryn, D'Argo, Chiana, Rygel and Jool went down to the planet with Tyren. Tyren gave Pilot a hug before leaving Moya. Pilot and Moya already missed having him on board.
Zoron met the transports when they arrived. Aeryn introduced Tyren to Zoron. Tyren was a little shy at first but once Zoron introduced him to some of the other children on the colony he opened up.
Aeryn was standing at the edge of the path watching John fishing with Tyren. Zoron walked up beside her.
Zoron: "Does he know that you are his mother?"
Aeryn looked at her with surprised but her heart wouldn't let her deny it.
Aeryn: "No, I thought it would be easier for him this way. How could you tell?"
Zoron: "They way you look at him and that smile is unmistakable."
She smiled slightly and looked at her son.
Zoron: "Don't worry about him Aeryn Sun. He will be brought up in love and when the time is right, he will know who his mother is and the sacrifice she made for him."
Aeryn looked at Zoron. She touched her hand.
Aeryn: "Thank you."
*****
Saying goodbye to Tyren was difficult for Chiana. He was like having a little brother for her. D'Argo, the big macho Luxan, also shed a tear when he said goodbye to Tyren. Rygel and Jool, even though they were the butt of many of his and Chiana's jokes, also hated to say goodbye. They all headed back to Moya.
John kneeled down to Tyren's level. He put the chain with his father's good luck charm ring around Tyren's neck. Tyren looked at him.
John: "My father gave me that and now I am passing it on to you."
Tyren smiled at him. He hugged him. He whispered in his ear.
Tyren: "Thank you father."
A single tear brimmed John's eyes. He held him close.
John: "I am going to miss you little partner."
Tyren: "I will miss you too."
John started tickling him. He was laughing. Aeryn appeared with Zoron. Tyren saw her. He ran to her. She dropped to her knees and caught him in a big hug. He pressed his forehead against hers. She looked in his eyes. She saw John's chain around his neck and smiled.
Aeryn: "I love you very much Tyren. Don't ever forget that, not ever."
He smiled. He laid his little hands on Aeryn's cheeks. She smiled back.
Tyren: "I am going to tell all my friends that you are my mother. Is that okay?"
Aeryn: "It is more than okay."
Tyren: "I left a surprise for you and John in your room on Moya."
Tyren kissed her cheek. Zoron stepped forward. She held out her hand.
Zoron: "Come on Tyren. We have to get you settled in before the evening meal."
Aeryn stood up. John walked up behind her. Tyren took Zoron's hand. They walked along the path toward the city. Aeryn's body fell against John's. He wrapped his arms around her. He whispered in her ear.
John: "Hold on, just a little bit longer. Hold on Babe."
Tyren turned back and waved. They smiled and waved. When he was completely out of sight, John turned Aeryn around and held her close. She was crying.
John: "Come on Babe, it is time to go home."
He walked toward the prowler holding Aeryn around her waist. She couldn't stop crying.
*****
When Aeryn got back to her quarters on Moya she found Tyren's surprise for her. Tyren had made a star chart with John's help. He named the stars D'Argo, Chiana, Pilot, Jool, Rygel, Moya and on the chart in the middle he made two big stars and he named one John, under his name he wrote father, and the other Aeryn, under her name he wrote mother. John didn't tell Aeryn about the chart. Tyren wanted it to be a surprise.
Aeryn looked at the chart and smiled through her tears. John came by to make sure she was all right. She laid back on the bed and stared at the chart. She was laughing. She laid the chart beside her head and stared at it as she drifted off to sleep. John knew she was emotionally exhausted. He sat outside her chambers for about an arn just to make sure she was okay. D'Argo came by to see her.
John: "Hey 'D'."
D'Argo: "How is she?"
John: "She is sleeping. She loved the star chart."
D'Argo: "She has no idea that you told Tyren that she is his mother?"
John: "No, he kept the secret like he promised me he would."
D'Argo: "You look exhausted."
John: "I am a little tired. But I want to sit here a little while longer. I just want to be close, if she needs me."
D'Argo: "Okay."
D'Argo left. John stood up and slipped into Aeryn's room. He walked over to her bed and sat beside her. He gently stroked her hair. Her eyes opened slightly. She looked at John and then at the chart. She spoke in a gentle whisper.
Aeryn: "Look what our son made for us."
She drifted back off. John smiled and felt honored that she called Tyren their son. He laid beside her and rested his head against hers. She laid her arm across his chest. He laid his hand on hers. He drifted off to sleep beside her with the star chart laying open above their heads on the bed.
Aeryn and John took her prowler down to a planet called Twilight. D'Argo and Chiana were given the care of Tyren while they were down on the planet.
The ride was a silent one. Aeryn didn't have the emotional fortitude to say anything. Crichton didn't want to push her. He understood how difficult that was going to be for her. They contacted a woman called Zoron as they approached. She told them to land outside the city and walk in. The path would be evident (Zoron's words). Aeryn landed the prowler.
When they stepped out John was amazed by the sunlight and the beautiful surrounding scenery. There were trees that were so tall they look like they touch the bluish sky. When they walked through a grove of trees they came out in an open meadow with green grass laid out in front of them like an ocean leading to the city.
John: "It is like mecca."
Aeryn: "What?"
John: "It is much like Earth. Like a beautiful countryside."
Aeryn looked around.
Aeryn: "It is quite beautiful."
John saw a lake.
John: "Aeryn look at this."
She followed him. He was standing by the lakeside with a kool-aid smile pasted on his face. She was staring at him.
John: "What?"
Aeryn: "Nothing you just look euphoric."
John: "It is amazing. Living on Earth you just don't believe that there are places out there that exist like this."
Aeryn kneeled down and ran her fingers through the water of the lake. John looked down at her. He kneeled beside her.
John: "Aeryn?"
She looked up at him. There were conflicting looks in her eyes. Joy that Tyren could have a good life on this planet and pain that she would probably never see her son again. Crichton touched her cheek.
John: "Lets go meet Zoron."
He stood up and held out his hand. She slipped her hand in his. They walked along the path to the city.
*****
The colony on Twilight was a group of about 200 Sebeceans including men, women, and children. They looked happy in their lives. Zoron was an older Sebecean and was considered to be the elder in the colony. She was very pleasant and answered all of Aeryn's questions regarding the colony and Tyren's place there. She understood their apprehension and invited them to stay overnight.
Aeryn and John walked around the colony and talked to some of the people. It seemed like the ideal community to John. Aeryn's cynical side was overruling her logic side but that was to be expected if she was going to leave her son with these Sebeceans.
After dinner Aeryn wondered off alone. The stars were bright in the sky. Aeryn went for a walk by the lake. She had checked in with D'Argo. Tyren was fine. He and Chiana were playing in the lower tiers. John found Aeryn sitting by the lake staring at the water. He sat beside her shoulder to shoulder.
John: "This seems like a great place. Tyren will fit in well here."
Aeryn: "May be I can too."
John looked at her. She didn't make eye contact with him.
John: "You are thinking about leaving Moya?"
Aeryn: "I didn't get before. When you talked about emotions and being soft sometimes, I didn't get it until Joh…."
John: "Until the other John died?"
Aeryn: "Yes. Losing him was such a shock to my system. I almost lost myself completely in my grief. I saved myself by reverting back to the only way I knew."
John: "Peacekeeper coldness."
Aeryn: "Call it what you want. It worked for me for many cycles. But this is different, I know now what you meant by a mother bonding with her child. I can feel him inside of me. I can see my future in his eyes. I find peace in his smile and joy in his laughter."
John: "You love him. That is what happens when you have a child. You love them more than you thought that you could ever love anything in your life. They become all you think about and all you live for."
Aeryn: "How do I let that go? How do I leave him with strangers?"
John held her hand.
John: "I don't know how to answer that. It is different for me. By the time my daughter actually comes into this world, I will be 80 cycles older. I will never know her but I am in love with the idea of her. At least you have gotten to know Tyren and you can always come back here and see him. So that you can see the superior man he is going to become."
Aeryn: "How much are you expected to lose in one lifetime? I lost John, I lost my mother, and now my son. How do you humans keep your heart from closing down? How do you keep reaching out?"
John: "It is part of being human. We need that contact. That connection with another person."
She looked out at the water.
Aeryn: "I am sorry John."
He looked at her.
John: "For what?"
Aeryn: "For putting you through all that pain when I returned to Moya. If I made you feel anything like I felt when I lost John or like I feel now…"
She looked in his eyes.
Aeryn: "I am sorrier than I will ever be able to express."
He touched her cheek. He leaned in and softly kissed her cheek.
John: "Don't worry about that now. You have to talk to Tyren."
Aeryn: "Would you talk to him with me?"
He slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. She laid her head on his shoulder.
John: "Of course, I love him like he were my own."
She lifted her head and kissed his cheek. She laid her head back on his shoulder.
*****
Before leaving the planet to return to Moya, Aeryn made arrangements for Tyren with Zoron. She used a majority of her cut from the shadow depositary heist to make sure he didn't want for anything. Tyren was going to be staying with Zoron.
When Aeryn and John docked back on Moya, Tyren was there to greet them in the docking bay. When Aeryn came off the prowler, Tyren ran to her. She scooped him up in her arms and hugged her around the neck.
Tyren: "Aeryn, I missed you. I woke up last night looking for you."
Aeryn looked over his shoulder at John. John was rubbing Tyren's back. He touched Aeryn's hand.
John: "Your okay little partner."
Tyren looked at John. He smiled at him.
Tyren: "Can I get that back ride again?"
John: "Horseback ride..climb on."
John turned his back. Tyren climbed out of Aeryn's arms onto John's back. Tyren was laughing.
John: "Where to little partner?"
Tyren: "Lets go see Pilot."
John: "Pilot it is."
John galloped out of the room. Tyren's laughter filled the passageways of Moya. Aeryn waited until they were gone. She dropped to her knees and started crying. She couldn't stop. It felt like her heart was going to explode in her chest. D'Argo came in and found her. He went over and kneeled beside her.
D'Argo: "Aeryn, you have to be strong now for Tyren."
Aeryn: "I feel like I am going to die D'Argo."
D'Argo: "But your not going to die and Tyren is going to live an amazing life on Twilight."
She looked up at him. D'Argo stood up slowly and pulled Aeryn to her feet.
*****
After the meal Crichton and Aeryn sat with Tyren out on the terrace. Tyren was lying on his stomach making a star chart like John showed him. Aeryn and John were sitting near him. Aeryn was just watching him. John touched her hand.
Aeryn: "Tyren, could you come here? We want to talk to you about something."
Tyren got up and went over to where they were. He sat on John's lap. Aeryn was holding his little hands in hers.
Aeryn: "Do you remember when we talked about finding a planet where you could be safe from the peacekeepers? A place that has a lake, sunshine, and fishing like John told you about."
Tyren: "Yes."
Aeryn: "We found the planet. It is called Twilight."
Tyren: "Is that where you were before?"
Aeryn looked at John.
John: "Yes and it has everything that I told you about and more. It has other kids that you can play with. There is this great lady there named Zoron and she wants you to come live with her."
Tyren: "But I want to live here with you and Aeryn. I want you to be my mom and dad."
Tyren was staring at John. Aeryn lowered her eyes. John reached around and laid his hand on her back.
John: "In everyway that matters, we are your mom and dad. We love you and we want you to be safe. You can't be safe on Moya."
Tyren looked at Aeryn. She smiled slightly at him.
Tyren: "Will you come visit me?"
Aeryn: "So much that you will get tired of seeing us."
He slipped off John's lap and wrapped his arms around Aeryn's neck. She held him close to her. She fought her tears back. John touched Tyren's back.
John: "Tomorrow we are going to all take you down and I am going to show you how to fish, like I promised."
Tyren looked over his shoulder and smiled.
*****
The next solar day John, Aeryn, D'Argo, Chiana, Rygel and Jool went down to the planet with Tyren. Tyren gave Pilot a hug before leaving Moya. Pilot and Moya already missed having him on board.
Zoron met the transports when they arrived. Aeryn introduced Tyren to Zoron. Tyren was a little shy at first but once Zoron introduced him to some of the other children on the colony he opened up.
Aeryn was standing at the edge of the path watching John fishing with Tyren. Zoron walked up beside her.
Zoron: "Does he know that you are his mother?"
Aeryn looked at her with surprised but her heart wouldn't let her deny it.
Aeryn: "No, I thought it would be easier for him this way. How could you tell?"
Zoron: "They way you look at him and that smile is unmistakable."
She smiled slightly and looked at her son.
Zoron: "Don't worry about him Aeryn Sun. He will be brought up in love and when the time is right, he will know who his mother is and the sacrifice she made for him."
Aeryn looked at Zoron. She touched her hand.
Aeryn: "Thank you."
*****
Saying goodbye to Tyren was difficult for Chiana. He was like having a little brother for her. D'Argo, the big macho Luxan, also shed a tear when he said goodbye to Tyren. Rygel and Jool, even though they were the butt of many of his and Chiana's jokes, also hated to say goodbye. They all headed back to Moya.
John kneeled down to Tyren's level. He put the chain with his father's good luck charm ring around Tyren's neck. Tyren looked at him.
John: "My father gave me that and now I am passing it on to you."
Tyren smiled at him. He hugged him. He whispered in his ear.
Tyren: "Thank you father."
A single tear brimmed John's eyes. He held him close.
John: "I am going to miss you little partner."
Tyren: "I will miss you too."
John started tickling him. He was laughing. Aeryn appeared with Zoron. Tyren saw her. He ran to her. She dropped to her knees and caught him in a big hug. He pressed his forehead against hers. She looked in his eyes. She saw John's chain around his neck and smiled.
Aeryn: "I love you very much Tyren. Don't ever forget that, not ever."
He smiled. He laid his little hands on Aeryn's cheeks. She smiled back.
Tyren: "I am going to tell all my friends that you are my mother. Is that okay?"
Aeryn: "It is more than okay."
Tyren: "I left a surprise for you and John in your room on Moya."
Tyren kissed her cheek. Zoron stepped forward. She held out her hand.
Zoron: "Come on Tyren. We have to get you settled in before the evening meal."
Aeryn stood up. John walked up behind her. Tyren took Zoron's hand. They walked along the path toward the city. Aeryn's body fell against John's. He wrapped his arms around her. He whispered in her ear.
John: "Hold on, just a little bit longer. Hold on Babe."
Tyren turned back and waved. They smiled and waved. When he was completely out of sight, John turned Aeryn around and held her close. She was crying.
John: "Come on Babe, it is time to go home."
He walked toward the prowler holding Aeryn around her waist. She couldn't stop crying.
*****
When Aeryn got back to her quarters on Moya she found Tyren's surprise for her. Tyren had made a star chart with John's help. He named the stars D'Argo, Chiana, Pilot, Jool, Rygel, Moya and on the chart in the middle he made two big stars and he named one John, under his name he wrote father, and the other Aeryn, under her name he wrote mother. John didn't tell Aeryn about the chart. Tyren wanted it to be a surprise.
Aeryn looked at the chart and smiled through her tears. John came by to make sure she was all right. She laid back on the bed and stared at the chart. She was laughing. She laid the chart beside her head and stared at it as she drifted off to sleep. John knew she was emotionally exhausted. He sat outside her chambers for about an arn just to make sure she was okay. D'Argo came by to see her.
John: "Hey 'D'."
D'Argo: "How is she?"
John: "She is sleeping. She loved the star chart."
D'Argo: "She has no idea that you told Tyren that she is his mother?"
John: "No, he kept the secret like he promised me he would."
D'Argo: "You look exhausted."
John: "I am a little tired. But I want to sit here a little while longer. I just want to be close, if she needs me."
D'Argo: "Okay."
D'Argo left. John stood up and slipped into Aeryn's room. He walked over to her bed and sat beside her. He gently stroked her hair. Her eyes opened slightly. She looked at John and then at the chart. She spoke in a gentle whisper.
Aeryn: "Look what our son made for us."
She drifted back off. John smiled and felt honored that she called Tyren their son. He laid beside her and rested his head against hers. She laid her arm across his chest. He laid his hand on hers. He drifted off to sleep beside her with the star chart laying open above their heads on the bed.
